Solving a puzzle or having actual feelings?

**Ceasel** · 05-02-2012, 02:03 AM

I've been working with this wonderful man for several months and there has been clear chemistry between us, or at least I thought so. He has given me some indication about his feelings and I have 'responded' in the 'open' INTJ style
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. I'm not sure if it's due to my unresponsiveness, but recently he has clearly shut me out and this is driving me crazy. The problem is that I am not sure which if bothering me more: if I actually have genuine feelings for him or do I just want to find out, if there was something going on or was I just imagining everything? So do I just want to solve the puzzle? Does this make any sense to any of you? As a true INTJ I just want to get rid of this feeling, what ever it is
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**savior** · 05-02-2012, 02:30 AM

I'm young enough to know I think I know everything except I'm not sure what you mean by 'responded' in 'open' INTJ style, especially after you say "due to my unresponsiveness".

Could you clarify? Be more specific? Also, are you aware that women are the most confusing thing in the universe? So of course this doesn't make any sense.

Also if you are getting rejected against your will don't worry, it builds character! I think the U.S. would be a better place if more women got rejected & had to learn to cope with failure.

**ppu6502** · 05-02-2012, 02:36 AM

You can probably imagine a million reasons for his disappearance, but presumably the reason or reasons are not the sort of thing you just openly tell someone. It could be offensive to you, difficult to admit for him, or just complicated.

I would consider it most healthy to retain your confidence in self with only a light interest in what it is that caused him to disappear. Not much good can come from obsessing over it, or uncomfortably confronting him IMO.

**Ceasel** · 05-02-2012, 02:48 AM

savior, the open style means that I do my best not to show how I feel, as I value his company so much that I don't want to scare him. Sorry for not being very clear
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ppu6502, you are probably right. I am truly questioning myself, whether I just want to solve the puzzle as if I was reading a detective story and wanted to find out what happened
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And in that case I would appear as a self-absorbed jerk if I just tried to get his confession about his feelings and then withdraw myself (in case he actually did have some feelings for me and probably would feel disappointed anyway if he didn't have). I am definitely not trying just to boost my self confidence with this, he is a far too wonderful friend for that :D

Thanks guys, you cleared my thoughts a lot. I'll just concentrate on our friendship and try not to overanalyse what's happening in his mind at moment.

05-02-2012, 02:03 AM	#1
Ceasel New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 6	I've been working with this wonderful man for several months and there has been clear chemistry between us, or at least I thought so. He has given me some indication about his feelings and I have 'responded' in the 'open' INTJ style To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. . I'm not sure if it's due to my unresponsiveness, but recently he has clearly shut me out and this is driving me crazy. The problem is that I am not sure which if bothering me more: if I actually have genuine feelings for him or do I just want to find out, if there was something going on or was I just imagining everything? So do I just want to solve the puzzle? Does this make any sense to any of you? As a true INTJ I just want to get rid of this feeling, what ever it is To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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05-02-2012, 02:30 AM	#2
savior Member [04%] MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 165	I'm young enough to know I think I know everything except I'm not sure what you mean by 'responded' in 'open' INTJ style, especially after you say "due to my unresponsiveness". Could you clarify? Be more specific? Also, are you aware that women are the most confusing thing in the universe? So of course this doesn't make any sense. Also if you are getting rejected against your will don't worry, it builds character! I think the U.S. would be a better place if more women got rejected & had to learn to cope with failure.
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05-02-2012, 02:36 AM	#3
ppu6502 Special Snowflake MBTI: INTj Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 11,503	You can probably imagine a million reasons for his disappearance, but presumably the reason or reasons are not the sort of thing you just openly tell someone. It could be offensive to you, difficult to admit for him, or just complicated. I would consider it most healthy to retain your confidence in self with only a light interest in what it is that caused him to disappear. Not much good can come from obsessing over it, or uncomfortably confronting him IMO.
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05-02-2012, 02:48 AM	#4
Ceasel New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 6	savior, the open style means that I do my best not to show how I feel, as I value his company so much that I don't want to scare him. Sorry for not being very clear To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ppu6502, you are probably right. I am truly questioning myself, whether I just want to solve the puzzle as if I was reading a detective story and wanted to find out what happened To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. And in that case I would appear as a self-absorbed jerk if I just tried to get his confession about his feelings and then withdraw myself (in case he actually did have some feelings for me and probably would feel disappointed anyway if he didn't have). I am definitely not trying just to boost my self confidence with this, he is a far too wonderful friend for that :D Thanks guys, you cleared my thoughts a lot. I'll just concentrate on our friendship and try not to overanalyse what's happening in his mind at moment.
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