[Winklepicker]

Originally Posted by Fecal McAngry To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I'm not sure what that means either. Why do SSRIs increase extroversion/reduce introversion to some degree? Well, the theory is, I believe, that humans generally prefer for "net brain activity" to fall within certain narrow parameters. Introverts have more endogenous brain activity than do extroverts, as a consequence extroverts seek more stimulation "outside themselves" than do introverts to achieve the same "brain activity thermostat setting". SSRIs up neuronal exposure to serotonin, which is an inhibitory neurotransmitter. As a consequence, introverts desire and can tolerate more social interaction, noise, etc. GABA is the other big inhibitory NT, alcohol and benzos up that... Wellbutrin ups dopamine and norepinephrine and should therefore increase introversion.

I agree that you probably can't drastically alter your preferences in a short time (even if you can force yourself to change behaviors)...but I do think hormones/mood can influence here.

An alternative to SSRI's is doing as many things as possible to gain energy and positive mood: healthy eating, sunlight, regular exercise, good social support, building confidence/self-affirmation, etc--these things might give you greater tolerance/strength and even enjoyment for more extroverted behavior

[Tactical Panda]

I think it can for most people.

Life and appreciate the side of the fence you prefer not to duck over.

[Suzumiya]

I can turn on my extrovert side at will. It happens very gradually throughout a day once it begins and can stay stable for the following days after initiation.

The thing is, I highly dislike my extrovert side because it can make me more impulsive and less strategic, which is the exact opposite of some of my greatest strengths as an individual who highly favors practicality and advantage over others and everything, above mostly anything.
I really value my introvert person and it's something I absolutely detest detaching myself from, but if the situation demands extrovert, I'll give you extrovert.

[Samoan Corleone]

Originally Posted by UltraIncredible To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Long-term I mean. Obviously alcohol helps, but that's not a long-term solution. Ever since I was little everyone seemed to single me out as being "the quietest person I've ever met", which after a few years started to make me really self-conscious about it. The only thing I never excelled at in high school or college was socializing, but that's also a very important and influential area in almost every part of life. So the perfectionist in me has become obsessed with becoming more outgoing, or at least projecting the appearance that I can be. Sometimes I think this makes me similar to a gay person who unrealistically wants to change himself or herself to be straight, but with introversion/extraversion instead of sexuality. And I'm all about accepting oneself for who he is, but I'm also into self-improvement, like lifting weights and exercising to be in better shape. I'd like to be in better socializing shape. So I try to have a given number of conversations per day, I plan social events with friends and acquaintances, I talk to people about their interests and lives. The difference between doing all that and exercising physically is that when I work out I enjoy it and see gradual improvement, whereas I HATE trying to force conversation with other people and no matter how much I do, any improvement is extremely minimal.

Don't force anything. If there's something you really, genuinely want to talk to someone about, you will be able to. Forcing is unnatural, and most people you force yourself to talk to will pick up that you're not quite as invested in the conversation as you're trying to pass off.

Little by little, your socialising skills will be improved by simply talking about the things you really want to with the people you really want to.

	Originally Posted by UltraIncredible To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	At times this makes me very depressed and I feel like I have no control over several aspects of my life because of it. I don't need to be an actual hardcore extravert, I just want to be able to turn it on and off if I need to. So to repeat the thread title: can extraversion be increased?

Extroversion =/= social skills. Ever heard of the loud, obnoxious, overbearing type? You don't want to be that. Again, social skills can be developed. If there's a hobby you enjoy, join a club. Talk to people there about your mutual interest, something you'll want to talk about, that you know they'll want to.

[Strange Moon]

It's a long and difficult way to become more extroverted but it does work if you are continually working on it.
I think it is important to find something to enjoy when you are among people. I began with observing and anylyzing people on parties etc.
Then I tried to increase social interaction by just looking at the situation as a psychological/sociological experiment.
It went something like this......if I do/say THIS the other person is reacting in THAT way...interesting...
So I wasn't really interested in getting a certain result but I was more interested in how people are reacting. Pretty quickly I found out how all this works.
No I'm in my 40s and for a limited time it is pretty easy for me to get into a conversational mode. Sometimes, when I'm alone or just with my girlfriend for a long time (more than a week) I'm even looking forward to be among other people again.
However if I'm with extremely extraverted people I still have a tendency to be quiet, maybe because they are talking so much and so quickly that it is hard for me to formulate my thoughts. When I finally know what I want to say they have already changed the subject.

[Eyedears]

	Originally Posted by leslissocool To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I ask a lot of questions, and then sit back and listen to their answers and go from there...you keep their attention shifting from subject to subject, they tend to perceive you as a lot more talkative.

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Basically my approach.

	Originally Posted by PlungingHornets To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	The cold hard truth of the matter, is that the random person of the street is dumb and boring.

Sadly true.
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[Wookiee]

It is possible. When I was in high school, I did not have much interest in socializing and did not care about keeping in touch with people online. I'm currently in college and I enjoy socializing a lot more, especially since many of my friends are INTJs.

[Chaotic Enigma]

	Originally Posted by UltraIncredible To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Long-term I mean. Obviously alcohol helps, but that's not a long-term solution.

Trying to be more extraverted with alcohol is stupid, I think. You are a rational person, so be extraverted rationally and not because you let alcohol remove the mental inhibitions you have imposed yourself!

Originally Posted by UltraIncredible To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Sometimes I think this makes me similar to a gay person who unrealistically wants to change himself or herself to be straight, but with introversion/extraversion instead of sexuality. And I'm all about accepting oneself for who he is, but I'm also into self-improvement, like lifting weights and exercising to be in better shape. I'd like to be in better socializing shape. So I try to have a given number of conversations per day, I plan social events with friends and acquaintances, I talk to people about their interests and lives. The difference between doing all that and exercising physically is that when I work out I enjoy it and see gradual improvement, whereas I HATE trying to force conversation with other people and no matter how much I do, any improvement is extremely minimal.

1)It's not the same as sexuality.

2)I think that the fact you want to improve the sides of yourself that you think need work on is appreciable. Plus, things are never so binary! I don't think that being naturally introverted excludes the possibility you can actually be more social.

3)You can force conversation but you will never be able achieve anything if you force yourself to do something you hate. I think you are doing it wrong.

Try looking at it from another perspective. Until you continue seeing socialization as something dull, boring and annoying, you're just going to continue hating conversations with people and you'll not become more extroverted.

The key to being social is thinking and doing as an extroverted person does!
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I can't speak for everyone, but I can give you my view of the subject.
Now, I have no idea what the experts say about extroversion and introversion or how they are defined, but, personally, I think being extroverted could be close to being very curious.

You talk about "forcing conversations" because you don't find it natural, they don't interest you so much. That's the point right there! An extrovert loves to talk. So you're goal is to find a good reason to like talking with people!!

Forcing yourself is not enough, you have to enjoy what you're doing at least a little bit in order to get some satisfaction out of it. See it this way: an exam is coming up and you have to force yourself to study otherwise you'll not pass it. Now, lets imagine you chose to study physics and that's not so simple. But the point is that, despite the hardness of the study, you don't mind forcing yourself to study physics because you get some satisfaction out of it at the end.

I can't tell you why you should like being social, all I can do is tell you why I am the way I am and why I like it.
As I said, I think it's got to do with being curious. I am curious to know what lies behind the face, curious about what stories could be told. It's the same curiosity that makes me stay here on this forum despite not being an INTJ. I like talking to people because they are a constant term of comparison. I like to hear what they do in life and tell what happens in mine because this simple exchange of information can actually lead to knew knowledge: remember, everybody has experience to share. Other than that, I like starting conversations even with people I don't know because I find it amusing how people's lives can suddenly become connected for the time of the conversation and after that we might never see each other again..or who knows, we might never cut the link established. I like talking a lot because that way I never feel alone or out of place no matter where I am. I'm social because cultivating friendships is important for a human being, since we are all "zoon politicon" as Aristoteles would have said. It's nice when you see that people like your company. It's interesting to be in different people's company, whether we're having a "serious" political discussion, dancing our feet off at the clubs, having a two week road trip or visiting an art exhibition. Different people satisfy your different needs, some more, some less, but the more people you know, the easier it will be to gain from the relations.

And to be honest, I think the greatest satisfaction of being social is actually noticing "Gosh, I'm really good at this! I can talk to a 5 year old the same way I can with an 80 year old!". And then many older people comment things like "She's such a nice and mature girl" and all that. I mean, being conscious that you are able to communicate with people is awesome!! It's a really useful quality that not many people have. So, yeah, I think I'm cool because I'm social :P

---------- Post added 07-06-2012 at 10:10 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by Strange Moon To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It's a long and difficult way to become more extroverted but it does work if you are continually working on it.

Oh gosh, you're being so heavy! I assure you, it is less hard than you think! Actually, you people think too much! Just get out there, ask questions, make comments and observations, just talk bla bla bla and ta-dà! If you think a bit better, no one knows that you're not so comfortable in the skin of an extrovert, they have no idea! So you don't have to worry about anything, they'll just think you're naturally extroverted because you're being talkative. It's pretty simple to do if you find something interesting in the process!! Once you get started you'll find it fun and even challenging.

[triadmidas]

I would also recommend Quiet by Susan Cain, if no one else has already. It discusses Free Trait Theory and how introverts can become extrovert-like concerning their passions in life. The trick is to find those passions.

[La Comtesse]

I was a member of many clubs in high school, leading many to believe I was extroverted. However, I never went out to parties and rarely hung out in social settings away from school except with one or two close friends.

After a traumatic life incident and an identity crisis that resulted, I thought I had to be a certain way for people to like me. I only now realize after graduating from college that I spent four years of extracurricular time doing things I honestly hate... Which is how I stumbled across INTJ.

I'm a lot more accepting of who I am now. I have the skills for small talk and hosting social events, as it was one of the primary duties of an organization I was in, but i knew deep down I hated being a part of that group among other reasons. I eventually mustered up the courage to quit. The advisers were livid but I found a whole new sense of self-awareness and happiness in who I am, especially following graduation. The skills I gained help me through other social interactions I'm not particularly keen on.... So I really only give an appearance of extraversion even though I'm not.
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I can, however, be very outgoing and energized by certain activities I like, and even enjoy doing them socially, but I have to have an interest in the activity/hobby for this behavior to show. If I'm not interested I clam up and recharge during my personal downtime.
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Tl;dr If it doesn't feel natural, don't force yourself to do it! Be happy with you!
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[Shadeylark]

there was a time when i was going out with friends every night.

it was a time of immense stress for me, and lasted for, roughly 4 years.

people i knew back then, that didn't know me before or after, that i've met up with since have remarked about how much different i am now.

so, i dunno if it can be consciously increased or if its just a latent personality trait that comes to the surface when stressed and when normal methods of coping don't work.