What defines dateability?

**sunitaishot** · 05-24-2012, 03:52 AM

What defines it? And who does exactly?

**Haumea** · 05-24-2012, 03:58 AM

Your personal values define it. There isn't some platonic ideal of "dateability."

**sunitaishot** · 05-24-2012, 05:04 AM

Does wider society believe this?

**Boreal** · 05-24-2012, 07:33 AM

A person is 'dateable' if they meet your personal standards and aren't already dating/married to someone else.

Generally speaking, most people make it a condition to actually like the person they're dating. Some degree of personality and intelligence are also common conditions. But seriously, none of these common conditions matter if they don't match your personal standards.

**Tactical Panda** · 05-24-2012, 07:50 AM

Supply and demand.

**sunitaishot** · 05-25-2012, 05:40 AM

	Originally Posted by Haumea To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Your personal values define it. There isn't some platonic ideal of "dateability."

Why not?

**mieu** · 05-25-2012, 06:12 AM

I think a person's dateability is limited only by themselves. If they see themselves as dateable, they will--to some extent--conform to the social norms of what is expected from someone who wants to start either a sexual or emotional relationship. This may include gender role expectations, but not always. I think the bare minimum required for dateability is to be able to interact with someone of particular relationship interest. How successful they are from the point of actually landing a date remains to be seen. Someone could be very successful at presenting themselves as dateable, and land many first-dates, but never get past that point with anyone.

**MechanicalSun** · 05-25-2012, 06:13 AM

	Originally Posted by sunitaishot To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What defines it? And who does exactly?

No. Nothingness. Maximum entropy.

**Haumea** · 05-25-2012, 01:33 PM


	Does wider society believe this?

Maybe. But I don't follow these things too closely because frankly I don't care about it.

I mean, I'm sure there are social benefits to hewing to a certain social subsystem's "dateability" rules (e.g. your parents will disown you if you date trash, or you need to impress your co-workers and boss at social events) but these are practical rather than philosophical considerations.

I figure if your personal values aren't too deviant, you'll be ok on that front.

Probably the biggest divide in the US these days is class: you more frequently see interracial dating in the same class than interclass dating among the same race (especially that of extreme ends.)

**Shoshana** · 05-25-2012, 01:40 PM

	Originally Posted by sunitaishot To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What defines it? And who does exactly?

there's no such thing as dateability. It's a term evil psychiatrists concocted to keep you confused and on drugs.

ManWithNoName · 05-26-2012, 12:14 PM

Generally being secure in yourself and having a strong enough identity and sense of self and well rounded personality that you begin to attract instead of just be attracted too.

As for specifics it's really undefinable as everyone has different prefrences of what they want specifically in a mate.

**Booko** · 05-26-2012, 12:23 PM

Sufficient age.

05-24-2012, 03:52 AM	#1
sunitaishot Banned MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,572	What defines it? And who does exactly?
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05-24-2012, 03:58 AM	#2
Haumea Veteran Member [85%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 3,414	Your personal values define it. There isn't some platonic ideal of "dateability."
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05-24-2012, 05:04 AM	#3
sunitaishot Banned MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,572	Does wider society believe this?
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05-24-2012, 07:33 AM	#4
Boreal Member [02%] MBTI: xNtx Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 103	A person is 'dateable' if they meet your personal standards and aren't already dating/married to someone else. Generally speaking, most people make it a condition to actually like the person they're dating. Some degree of personality and intelligence are also common conditions. But seriously, none of these common conditions matter if they don't match your personal standards.
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05-24-2012, 07:50 AM	#5
Tactical Panda Core Member [133%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 5,328	Supply and demand.
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05-25-2012, 06:12 AM	#7
mieu Core Member [183%] $/)^3^(\$ MBTI: xNTx Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 7,347	I think a person's dateability is limited only by themselves. If they see themselves as dateable, they will--to some extent--conform to the social norms of what is expected from someone who wants to start either a sexual or emotional relationship. This may include gender role expectations, but not always. I think the bare minimum required for dateability is to be able to interact with someone of particular relationship interest. How successful they are from the point of actually landing a date remains to be seen. Someone could be very successful at presenting themselves as dateable, and land many first-dates, but never get past that point with anyone.
mieu is offline post a comment

05-26-2012, 12:14 PM	#11
ManWithNoName Core Member [203%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 8,138	Generally being secure in yourself and having a strong enough identity and sense of self and well rounded personality that you begin to attract instead of just be attracted too. As for specifics it's really undefinable as everyone has different prefrences of what they want specifically in a mate.
ManWithNoName is online post a comment

05-26-2012, 12:23 PM	#12
Booko Veteran Member [87%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 3,502	Sufficient age.
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