Originally Posted by M45
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I am an INTJ female.
There is no way that I am not an INTJ. In fact, if I were to show you the definition on Typelogic and tell you "that's me, EXACTLY," nobody would argue it.
Over the past year, I've found myself facing a curious little predicament.
Rewind for a sec. I'm 24. I've never been romantically interested in anybody. Ever. Make sense? EVER. Everybody's pretty much 'scenery.' I can find people 'aesthetically pleasing' but have no interest in getting 'romantically involved' and it's not that the desire isn't there! I just... couldn't find what I was looking for. Period. It happens, right?
So. Back to the curious predicament. Fellow INTJ's, you're smart folks. You've read the title to this post. No need for explanation.
I'm a curious person. I've found an 'oddity' and...
I'm ... dreadfully in love with him.
I've known him 'outside the circle' for about six years, but it wasn't until last year that he made an attempt to spend some time with me, and now, we're good friends in an awkward way and... It's been an unexpected little bump in the road...
We're both crazy about each other. I get this from friends, I understand it from him -
and then I over-think and over-analyze and... whither my intuition... and... miss opportunities...
Even though I know better! I'm a gyroscope in a pudding bowl! I'm spinning like mad and going nowhere!
It's so dumb!!!
It all happens in a moment. One second, we're both stoked to see each other and talking as if it's been years, and the next, we're both shifty and shy, and eventually, we both end up ignoring the other on purpose, so as to keep from that awkwardness; but that makes things MORE complicated. I'm tired of this.
I'm shy too... but everything I want is beginning to boil to the surface. It's all going to make its way out, but before I screw anything up or hurt anyone, I need to ask...
Does anybody have any experience with this combo?
What should I do?
.. If this is what it is to be 'into someone,' I've never been into anyone before, and I don't want to wait another twenty four years or never.
Hi M45! I know what you are going through but from the opposite end.
I am an INFJ male and I am madly in love with an INTJ female and she is madly in love with me.
So much in fact that we are both drastically realigning our lives to be together. 1st a little background.
I knew Meaghan since she was 16 and I was 20, shes 25 now and im 29. We will have known each other for 10 years this august. We were always hit or miss, we had a HUGE mental connection, we think things through very similarly, although where I lack thinking and rationality she picks up the slack, where it comes to smoothing out the rough edges and establishing a deep emotional connection I lead the way. But other then those differences we are very similar. We are more compatible then I have ever been with anyone ever in my life.
I just got out of a 8 year long relationship, it will have been a year single next month. Meaghan is in the middle of a divorce. My ex is an ISFJ, hers is an ISTP. Both relationships were horridly unfullfillig to us. Another problem is that she moved to England 2 years ago and I moved to Connecticut.
We have been talking a lot more then usual lately and we came to learn that we have both carried secret love for each other for a LONG LONG time. That made us explore other thoughts and feelings and and lo and behold BLAMO we are deeply and desperately in love. I have ever felt this way about a woman before. I love her enough that I would actually marry her if I believed in marriage or she did... but I can definitely see us having children down the road, the combo of my gentle and friendly nature and her wicked high IQ and intellect would make some pretty dashing offspring.
Its really hard right now because we are separated by an ocean, but i already bought the plane tickets for this summer and she is transferring to the US for a few months later in the spring. We are so into one and other, its kind of scary how intense it is.
Speaking as a pretty shy INFJ male, I think you should make a move on him. I am lucky in that I grew up around some pretty strong alpha male types and it rubbed off on me, but it was always unusually hard to muster up the courage to speak to a girl. Even so i would silently pine away for many girls I liked. I think you should tel him you like him if you are sure you do, well you said youre in love, so tell him but go easy dont unload everything in 1 day. Let it unfold over time, build it in layers.
The thing I love about this combo is the Ni, the oh so beautiful Ni!
Shes constantly in my head, looking around, tipping old cups around... she gets past all my walls and makes me feel like a googoo eyed teenager.
I find it easier to be open about my feelings with her then anyone else, thats major for me.
We're both very sharp, so we constantly mess with each other, like she LOVES to put me on the spot. She will make me clarify something I say (usually about my feelings for her) and she knows I am not naturally going to feel easy disclosing, but I do with her because she is good at getting it out of me anyway! I LOVE THIS about her. I do the same to her. She loves it.
At this point, every minute is a lifetime of agony and it will continue to be until I get her in my arms.
I think this combo is really good. It works really well.