[M45]

haha... Monday will come soon enough. Then, you'll have it from me.

Until then, the weekend starts now!!

[fatkattykat]

Originally Posted by Mogura To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

As for the particular expression, "We should have sex", then I would add that timing and delivery is crucial. If the music is on, the lights are on, the mood is playful, and it's whispered almost inaudibly with an earlobe nibble, then yeah, it definitely works for me. If it's during an office lunch break, eating shitty food court food under fluorescent lighting, and she communicates it in a deadpan manner, then well, let's just say that it kills the mood. (This actually happened to me once--and you'll never believe what her MB type was)...

Ok, now I am curious about what her MB type was...I am thinking an ISxJ who has a naughty streak lol
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That is very true. I am in a relationship with an INFJ, and he is also very romantic. I will admit, it was hard for me to adjust to a guy being "romantic" (opening doors, getting flowers). I dated men with extremely high T beforehand, and never thought a guy could give such royal treatment! Thankfully, I do have enough F to want to appreciate those kinds of things. What these INFJ men are saying is true...never kill the mood!
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[Mogura]

	Originally Posted by fatkattykat To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Ok, now I am curious about what her MB type was...I am thinking an ISxJ who has a naughty streak lol To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I think she was an ISTJ. Worst kisser ever. Have you ever kissed someone and their lips didn't move at all? That would be her. A department store mannequin kisses with more warmth and passion in comparison. She was blunt, clingy, and neurotic--a lethal combination!

[fatkattykat]

Hehehe, I was almost on target
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. That does sound like an awful combination. Freaky....

[Billy]

Originally Posted by M45 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I am an INTJ female. There is no way that I am not an INTJ. In fact, if I were to show you the definition on Typelogic and tell you "that's me, EXACTLY," nobody would argue it. Over the past year, I've found myself facing a curious little predicament. Rewind for a sec. I'm 24. I've never been romantically interested in anybody. Ever. Make sense? EVER. Everybody's pretty much 'scenery.' I can find people 'aesthetically pleasing' but have no interest in getting 'romantically involved' and it's not that the desire isn't there! I just... couldn't find what I was looking for. Period. It happens, right? So. Back to the curious predicament. Fellow INTJ's, you're smart folks. You've read the title to this post. No need for explanation. I'm a curious person. I've found an 'oddity' and... I'm ... dreadfully in love with him. I've known him 'outside the circle' for about six years, but it wasn't until last year that he made an attempt to spend some time with me, and now, we're good friends in an awkward way and... It's been an unexpected little bump in the road... We're both crazy about each other. I get this from friends, I understand it from him - and then I over-think and over-analyze and... whither my intuition... and... miss opportunities... Even though I know better! I'm a gyroscope in a pudding bowl! I'm spinning like mad and going nowhere! It's so dumb!!! It all happens in a moment. One second, we're both stoked to see each other and talking as if it's been years, and the next, we're both shifty and shy, and eventually, we both end up ignoring the other on purpose, so as to keep from that awkwardness; but that makes things MORE complicated. I'm tired of this. I'm shy too... but everything I want is beginning to boil to the surface. It's all going to make its way out, but before I screw anything up or hurt anyone, I need to ask... Does anybody have any experience with this combo? What should I do? .. If this is what it is to be 'into someone,' I've never been into anyone before, and I don't want to wait another twenty four years or never. Help?

Hi M45! I know what you are going through but from the opposite end.

I am an INFJ male and I am madly in love with an INTJ female and she is madly in love with me.

So much in fact that we are both drastically realigning our lives to be together. 1st a little background.

I knew Meaghan since she was 16 and I was 20, shes 25 now and im 29. We will have known each other for 10 years this august. We were always hit or miss, we had a HUGE mental connection, we think things through very similarly, although where I lack thinking and rationality she picks up the slack, where it comes to smoothing out the rough edges and establishing a deep emotional connection I lead the way. But other then those differences we are very similar. We are more compatible then I have ever been with anyone ever in my life.

I just got out of a 8 year long relationship, it will have been a year single next month. Meaghan is in the middle of a divorce. My ex is an ISFJ, hers is an ISTP. Both relationships were horridly unfullfillig to us. Another problem is that she moved to England 2 years ago and I moved to Connecticut.

We have been talking a lot more then usual lately and we came to learn that we have both carried secret love for each other for a LONG LONG time. That made us explore other thoughts and feelings and and lo and behold BLAMO we are deeply and desperately in love. I have ever felt this way about a woman before. I love her enough that I would actually marry her if I believed in marriage or she did... but I can definitely see us having children down the road, the combo of my gentle and friendly nature and her wicked high IQ and intellect would make some pretty dashing offspring.

Its really hard right now because we are separated by an ocean, but i already bought the plane tickets for this summer and she is transferring to the US for a few months later in the spring. We are so into one and other, its kind of scary how intense it is.

Speaking as a pretty shy INFJ male, I think you should make a move on him. I am lucky in that I grew up around some pretty strong alpha male types and it rubbed off on me, but it was always unusually hard to muster up the courage to speak to a girl. Even so i would silently pine away for many girls I liked. I think you should tel him you like him if you are sure you do, well you said youre in love, so tell him but go easy dont unload everything in 1 day. Let it unfold over time, build it in layers.

The thing I love about this combo is the Ni, the oh so beautiful Ni!

Shes constantly in my head, looking around, tipping old cups around... she gets past all my walls and makes me feel like a googoo eyed teenager.

I find it easier to be open about my feelings with her then anyone else, thats major for me.

We're both very sharp, so we constantly mess with each other, like she LOVES to put me on the spot. She will make me clarify something I say (usually about my feelings for her) and she knows I am not naturally going to feel easy disclosing, but I do with her because she is good at getting it out of me anyway! I LOVE THIS about her. I do the same to her. She loves it.

At this point, every minute is a lifetime of agony and it will continue to be until I get her in my arms.

I think this combo is really good. It works really well.

[Blse]

Originally Posted by jndiii To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Hahahahah! I love your "gyroscope in a pudding bowl" imagery. I think I'll steal that. In answer to your question, I think you're already providing your own answer, and the problem is acting on it. What happens for INTJs is that we go straight from "la la la we don't care" to "ZOMG! I gotta have you!" We know that isn't how to go about it, but it's how we feel and we often suck at handling feelings. The "shifty and shy" comes from the part where you both recognize that this might be big for the both of you, but you're anxious about how to handle it right. In a weird way, that's a good sign, not a bad one. With respect to MBTI and "INTJ with INFJ", I strongly suggest that you not use MBTI per se to figure out how it should work. Rather, MBTI is better at handling the "we can't seem to communicate, what's going on here?" problem, where N vs S and Te vs Fe become prominent. Moreover, there is also a good likelihood that one if not both of you are mistyped: I'm not saying that you are or aren't, but that if it's the case, then advice specific to "INTJ with INFJ" will tend not to apply except in the most general kind of way. My generic advice is for the both of you to spend time together and become more comfortable with each other. Also, with both of you being very shy and very INxx, neither of you should expect the other to take the initiative. You should be prepared to take the initiative yourself to some degree, as in letting him know that you're open to something more. The number one rule is: don't worry about messing up. That's what gets INTJs into trouble, and as you note yourself, you start overthinking things. This isn't a "thinking problem." It's a feeling one. Use your thinking to keep from doing anything super stupid, but give your feelings some leeway. To put things in perspective: this is where you'll learn let your feeling side "grow up" a bit more, with everything that growing up entails.

As an ENTJ I go from "I don't care" to "I must have you" very quickly too. Difference is that I act on it immediately and tend to go after people with a vengeance. So my advice is to worry about a bit about messing up. Don't propose something too big (done that) start a tickling fight and constantly touch him (done that - well, except I'm a he and she was... well, a she
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), flirt/tease so hard its obvious to everyone in a 20 ft radius (done that). Being somewhat aloof will actually help you.