Hello all...

**jca23** · 05-23-2009, 05:33 PM

I can't believe after reading many of the posts on here just how similar I am to most of you. The same thoughts, feelings, fears. It's quite surreal.

I am INTJ, with very expressed introvert, slightly expressed intuitive, slightly expressed thinking, and moderately expressed judging personality.

My current girlfriend (with whom I have been living with for the last 9 years) is INFJ. I recently discovered she betrayed my trust and as a consequence, I feel like I am in limbo. Do I stay with the only person I have ever loved (and feel has ever loved me) and try and find trust again, or do I move on left with nothing, fearing I will never again have another connection such as I've had with her.

I'm here because she advised me that she is INFJ and suggested I take an MBTI test to see what I was. It was surreal how accurate the description was. I'm not sure about her - there are certain aspects of the INFJ description that are almost the opposite of what she is. Some of it is bang on. That being said I don't believe that personality types define the relationship, rather they should be used to identify traits and deal with them accordingly.

So, that's me and my situation right now in a nutshell. I've already found comfort in some of what I've read here, even if it is only that there are many out there just like me.

**coffeeholic** · 05-23-2009, 05:36 PM

Welcome! i recently joined too and i think it feels surreal too! i love it! you will too!

**DurrRuhRurr** · 05-23-2009, 05:37 PM

Welcome jca!

There's a good thread on the issue of trust here:
http://intjforum.com/showthread.php?t=17595

**Jonathan Brewer** · 05-23-2009, 05:44 PM

Welcome, jca23. Girlfriends can be weird.

**jca23** · 05-23-2009, 06:26 PM

	Originally Posted by Jonathan Brewer
	Welcome, jca23. Girlfriends can be weird.

Oh the weirdness, is fine. Encouraged even. What she did though was in a word - devastating.

Thank you all for the warm welcome, I will definitely check out the 'trust' thread

**loosefanbelt** · 05-23-2009, 06:32 PM

Hope you find little band-aids here to help you mend and little morsels to help you grow... welcome.

**doublejava** · 05-23-2009, 07:38 PM

Welcome, jca23. Too bad about the trust thing. Wanna help me take over the world to distract you from your feelings? I'll let you in on the plan for 3 easy payments of $1,999.99.

**Kele-De** · 05-23-2009, 10:54 PM

Welcome! You will find many pleasant distractions here. I hope you won't remain in limbo for too long.

**Monte314** · 05-24-2009, 03:44 PM

Welcome, nutshell-guy. I live in a dumpster; much roomier than a nutshell, and food shows up automagically.

This is a great place for self-exploration. Let me give a demonstration:

*digs through newbie's backpack*

See? You just explore your "baggage" like this... Hmm... old sneakers... copies of TV Guide... baggie full of nutshells...

Hey, light saber batteries!! Thanks!"

*runs away with batteries*

**Tobias** · 05-25-2009, 10:51 AM

Welcome jca23.

I can't comment on your situation because I've never been in a relationship with an INFJ. However, I'm sure you'll find plenty of information on here from people who have; or if you don't find what you're looking start your own thread!

Have fun.

**jca23** · 05-25-2009, 01:12 PM

Thanks all for the welcome

Rudy · 05-28-2009, 02:33 AM

Welcome, jca23!

	Originally Posted by jca23
	That being said I don't believe that personality types define the relationship, rather they should be used to identify traits and deal with them accordingly.

Wow; you're already wiser about MBTI than most.

If you're sticking around, you can check out the rules here, and a great thread about using all the neat forum features is here.

Please, enjoy!

**rwyatt365** · 05-28-2009, 07:22 AM

On trust; If you go in believeng that people will eventually do something untrustworthy you will not be surprised when they are. Cynical, you bet. Effective, absolutely.

My $0.02. Welcome.

**jca23** · 05-29-2009, 07:47 PM

	Originally Posted by Kele-De
	I hope you won't remain in limbo for too long.

Thank you for that.

	Originally Posted by rwyatt365
	On trust; If you go in believeng that people will eventually do something untrustworthy you will not be surprised when they are. Cynical, you bet. Effective, absolutely. My $0.02. Welcome.

I guess i am the other way around. I'm just as hurt as I am in love, although that's changing..

05-23-2009, 05:33 PM	#1
jca23 Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 147	I can't believe after reading many of the posts on here just how similar I am to most of you. The same thoughts, feelings, fears. It's quite surreal. I am INTJ, with very expressed introvert, slightly expressed intuitive, slightly expressed thinking, and moderately expressed judging personality. My current girlfriend (with whom I have been living with for the last 9 years) is INFJ. I recently discovered she betrayed my trust and as a consequence, I feel like I am in limbo. Do I stay with the only person I have ever loved (and feel has ever loved me) and try and find trust again, or do I move on left with nothing, fearing I will never again have another connection such as I've had with her. I'm here because she advised me that she is INFJ and suggested I take an MBTI test to see what I was. It was surreal how accurate the description was. I'm not sure about her - there are certain aspects of the INFJ description that are almost the opposite of what she is. Some of it is bang on. That being said I don't believe that personality types define the relationship, rather they should be used to identify traits and deal with them accordingly. So, that's me and my situation right now in a nutshell. I've already found comfort in some of what I've read here, even if it is only that there are many out there just like me.
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05-23-2009, 05:36 PM	#2
coffeeholic Member [41%] MBTI: xxxx Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 1,665	Welcome! i recently joined too and i think it feels surreal too! i love it! you will too!
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05-23-2009, 05:37 PM	#3
DurrRuhRurr Member [14%] MBTI: INFP Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 564	Welcome jca! There's a good thread on the issue of trust here: http://intjforum.com/showthread.php?t=17595
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05-23-2009, 05:44 PM	#4
Jonathan Brewer Core Member [135%] MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 5,411	Welcome, jca23. Girlfriends can be weird.
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05-23-2009, 06:32 PM	#6
loosefanbelt Core Member [174%] MBTI: INFX Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 6,989	Hope you find little band-aids here to help you mend and little morsels to help you grow... welcome.
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05-23-2009, 07:38 PM	#7
doublejava Member [21%] MBTI: InTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 862	Welcome, jca23. Too bad about the trust thing. Wanna help me take over the world to distract you from your feelings? I'll let you in on the plan for 3 easy payments of $1,999.99.
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05-23-2009, 10:54 PM	#8
Kele-De Member [06%] MBTI: intj Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 246	Welcome! You will find many pleasant distractions here. I hope you won't remain in limbo for too long.
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05-24-2009, 03:44 PM	#9
Monte314 Core Member [406%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 16,260	Welcome, nutshell-guy. I live in a dumpster; much roomier than a nutshell, and food shows up automagically. This is a great place for self-exploration. Let me give a demonstration: digs through newbie's backpack See? You just explore your "baggage" like this... Hmm... old sneakers... copies of TV Guide... baggie full of nutshells... Hey, light saber batteries!! Thanks!" runs away with batteries
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05-25-2009, 10:51 AM	#10
Tobias Member [05%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 232	Welcome jca23. I can't comment on your situation because I've never been in a relationship with an INFJ. However, I'm sure you'll find plenty of information on here from people who have; or if you don't find what you're looking start your own thread! Have fun.
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05-25-2009, 01:12 PM	#11
jca23 Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 147	Thanks all for the welcome
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05-28-2009, 07:22 AM	#13
rwyatt365 Core Member [261%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 10,462	On trust; If you go in believeng that people will eventually do something untrustworthy you will not be surprised when they are. Cynical, you bet. Effective, absolutely. My $0.02. Welcome.
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