[Jinxu]

Originally Posted by darynthe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

If you compare yourself with other people, it is because you are insecure in the first place. So maybe you are mixing up here cause with effect, or rather, cause with compensation. Mmm, why would you want to self-accept yourself if you are not what you want to be? This would mean you will forever have the same defects and maybe be mediocre. Just wondering if the solution is worse than the illness.

No, comparing yourself is one of the reasons. When you compare yourself to other people, it lead to negative thoughts about your faults, which then reinforces your insecurity. You want to practice self-acceptance as the first step to developing your self-esteem.

An analogy is the alcoholic that cannot be helped unless he first admits that he has a problem.

[darynthe]

	Originally Posted by Jinxu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	No, comparing yourself is one of the reasons. When you compare yourself to other people, it lead to negative thoughts about your faults, which then reinforces your insecurity. You want to practice self-acceptance as the first step to developing your self-esteem. An analogy is the alcoholic that cannot be helped unless he first admits that he has a problem.

Is self-acceptance the same as self-love? I think I would separate them in two different things.

In self-acceptance you come to accept what you are, without any judgement on what you are. And then you are cured.

In self-love, you'd learn to love who you are. And you understand your short-comings for what they are and yet find a way to love yourself. However you still would keep the honest dislike for your defects and try to change.

[Jinxu]

Originally Posted by darynthe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Is self-acceptance the same as self-love? I think I would separate them in two different things. In self-acceptance you come to accept what you are, without any judgement on what you are. And then you are cured. In self-love, you'd learn to love who you are. And you understand your short-comings for what they are and yet find a way to love yourself. However you still would keep the honest dislike for your defects and try to change.

Good definitions. Yes, they are different. I would say that self-acceptance is a precursor to self-love.

[SimplyOtter]

	Originally Posted by Jinxu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Good definitions. Yes, they are different. I would say that self-acceptance is a precursor to self-love.

Darynthie, I think Jinxu, in all his posts, nailed it. The source of INFPs insecurities is exactly this, we often make comparison with others wishing we were different (you said it yourself, I hate to be an INFP, I'd love being an INTJ).

I think the key is learning to accept that we are not the "exteriorly" confident types, that our confidence is different, that we we can be really (I mean really) shy sometimes ... knowing yourself, accepting who you are, loving yourself... it's a long process of course, but this is the only way to stop needing the attention of others to define who we are.

Think yourself as a mysterious creature, INFPs can be really mysterious and deep, not just insecure and overly self-conscious you know...
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[darynthe]

Originally Posted by SimplyOtter To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Darynthie, I think Jinxu, in all his posts, nailed it. The source of INFPs insecurities is exactly this, we often make comparison with others wishing we were different (you said it yourself, I hate to be an INFP, I'd love being an INTJ). I think the key is learning to accept that we are not the "exteriorly" confident types, that our confidence is different, that we we can be really (I mean really) shy sometimes ... knowing yourself, accepting who you are, loving yourself... it's a long process of course, but this is the only way to stop needing the attention of others to define who we are. Think yourself as a mysterious creature, INFPs can be really mysterious and deep, not just insecure and overly self-conscious you know... To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I am in love, total love with your avatar!!!!!

Thanks,
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
that is real sweet. It is real complicated. Thanks for reading and the tip. Knowing I am an infp helped me a lot. you get the feeling finally that you belong to humankind.