[aninfjgirl]

A little background... I'm an INFJ. We've been together for over 8 months and have a great relationship. We clicked right from the start and I'm usually pretty good at understanding him. Just recently he's been getting really stressed over college (he just started back after 10 years) and some drama between friends he's getting pulled into. I know to give him his space and let him know I'm there when/if he needs me, but is there anything else I can do? He opens up to me most of the time but sometimes I don't know what the best thing to do/say is. We like taking short vacations to get away, but we both have crazy schedules right now so that's not an option. Any advice?

[JohnDoe]

Take him out and do something fun at random and force him to go. Its easy to have a minivacation just by going into the city and doing something new. Great stress relief.

[BostonIan]

My advice is not to date stressable INTJ's who have friends and social drama. We're kind of a pain in the butt to begin with, but some of our silver linings are that we're not unstable and socially entangled. An INTJ with added drama? That just sounds like no fun at all.

[aninfjgirl]

	Originally Posted by BostonIan To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	My advice is not to date stressable INTJ's who have friends and social drama. We're kind of a pain in the butt to begin with, but some of our silver linings are that we're not unstable and socially entangled. An INTJ with added drama? That just sounds like no fun at all.

Thanks for the heads up... I'll keep it in mind! I know exactly what you're saying and I wouldn't be with him if 99% of the time he wasn't drama-free. I've been there and done that... nooo thanks.

He's usually not a pain in the butt.
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These people just came back into his life and will be out of the picture in a few weeks, so that's not really a big issue. And as you said, he is a pretty stable, easy-going guy... with so many other great qualities I'm not willing to give up!





aninfjgirl added to this post, 1 minutes and 44 seconds later...

	Originally Posted by JohnDoe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Take him out and do something fun at random and force him to go. Its easy to have a minivacation just by going into the city and doing something new. Great stress relief.

I'm going to try to tear him away from the books and make him go out. You're right... it's always been a great stress reliever for us.

[ToC]

his J will like this:

tell him a few days ahead that you want to (keyword) "escape" for a day or two with him, turn phones off, bring a novel, and unwind for a weekend.

two days of little external stimuli will do him worlds of good.

assuming he works, tell him to "plan to come down with the flu"

[aninfjgirl]

	Originally Posted by ToC To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	his J will like this: tell him a few days ahead that you want to (keyword) "escape" for a day or two with him, turn phones off, bring a novel, and unwind for a weekend. two days of little external stimuli will do him worlds of good. assuming he works, tell him to "plan to come down with the flu"

That's a great idea. I would LOVE to do that... and i will when we both can. But he works for himself, so he needs every job he can get right now. And on top of that, he has a really intense schedule for college, so I feel like taking him away when he needs to be studying would stress him out even more. Of course, he freaks if he doesn't feel prepared for his exams. It's a tough situation!

[ToC]

	Originally Posted by aninfjgirl To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	That's a great idea. I would LOVE to do that... and i will when we both can. But he works for himself, so he needs every job he can get right now. And on top of that, he has a really intense schedule for college, so I feel like taking him away when he needs to be studying would stress him out even more. Of course, he freaks if he doesn't feel prepared for his exams. It's a tough situation!

which is why you tell him in advance, tell him it'll be easier to finish his studying when he's not in a dorm or apartment constantly surrounded by bickering ESJs

[JohnDoe]

I've worked 80 hours weeks for a few months in a row where I would not be able to take 2 days off. On the other hand, I could always find 3 hours to go out. This is why going somewhere random in the city is preferable. Its very hard to say no to.

[Seppuku Savant]

Leaving him alone is your best bet.

[FilmJason]

	Originally Posted by Seppuku Savant To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Leaving him alone is your best bet.

I would agree - give him a couple days to sort through his stress-causing issue. If you try to be overly supportive, it will only stress him further. I think it's a good idea to suggest a date to get away... this shows you care, but that you also acknowledge his space to cope.