[firebird3428]

I hate both, but I'm thankful that I get checked out/hit on because it reminds me that maybe I'm not as ugly as I think I am haha. When people check me out or hit on me, I feel like they're invading my personal space, and I start cursing them out in my head. And I never know how to respond to it either; I usually just awkwardly shake my head and run away haha.

But then again maybe that will change when I get hit on/checked out by someone I actually find attractive too.

[Birdy]

	Originally Posted by jens1136 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I am not nearly as annoyed with being hit on as I am being checked out. I don't know what it is, but I hate seeing men blatantly check me out (subtly is fine). It simply confirms my assumption that they are sexual pigs who have no desire to get to know me.

Why does wanting sex make one a pig? Why should anyone need a desire to get to another to enjoy their appearance? Can it be helped that people do this given that you are out in public? I have no desire to get to know most of the people I check out and find handsome or beautiful. Why is that wrong? It's a bit unrealistic to expect otherwise.

Anyway, I tend not to get offended by such things. If I'm not interested, I say no immediately and politely, and what harm do people's eyes cause me? One day, they're not going to whistle and oggle, and I figure when I'll get older, I'll miss the days they did.

[BlackOp]

Originally Posted by Birdy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Why does wanting sex make one a pig? Why should anyone need a desire to get to another to enjoy their appearance? Can it be helped that people do this given that you are out in public? I have no desire to get to know most of the people I check out and find handsome or beautiful. Why is that wrong? It's a bit unrealistic to expect otherwise. Anyway, I tend not to get offended by such things. If I'm not interested, I say no immediately and politely, and what harm do people's eyes cause me? One day, they're not going to whistle and oggle, and I figure when I'll get older, I'll miss the days they did.

Look at me...don't look at me...HEY!! look at me...don't look at me. Girls are funny..

[Madisonkc]

I don't see it as a terribly annoying thing to be checked out. I acknowledge that it is a natural part of the male instinct to look at an attractive female figure.
No big deal.

The only scenario I would disagree with this mindset is when the "let-me-check-her-out" look becomes a lewd sinister one. I'm sure girls know what I'm talking about. Then, I become threatened, uncomfortable and uncool with the situation.

[jens1136]

	Originally Posted by Marcus Septim To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	You can't blame people for liking you and you can't expect them to want to know you,just by looking at you Maybe if you gave people a chance,some of those may actually be interesting And learn to be nice! You can reject people is your right,but being *annoyed* and a jerk to them is just not right

I'm not a jerk to them, and being annoyed by it doesn't hurt anyone (except potentially myself)
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I give men a chance when they use the right approach. A "hi, I think you're cute and would like to get to know you better" will go a lot better than "hey sexy, what's your name?".

---------- Post added 08-15-2012 at 02:39 AM ----------

	Originally Posted by wolfyx To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	So I am just curious: - Which one of these four approaches seems the least awkward to you? - Is there a different “solution” that I miss out? - Do you consider spontaneity as something positive? What would you think of a guy that will approach you in the next second after your eyes first met?

Sorry for the late response. I can't seem to get updates via email :/

Question 1: I can't speak for all women, maybe I am just an INTJ, but I think number 1 would be the best approach (even if you're shy and/or mess up). I would rather have a guy seem awkward and/or shy, but genuine than smooth and ingenuine.

I agree with you on #2. If you're at a party, 2 is also not a bad way to hit on a girl, but be aware that it could also come off as "creepy" if not done well. After a few drinks it may be difficult to do correctly
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haha

Question 2: Read the above reply to Marcus Septim
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Question 3: I'm not really sure actually. It probably would depend on the context. It would either come off as confident (good thing) or as too forward (bad thing). I think if it were at a party or club, it would be entirely acceptable. In most other situations, maybe not.

---------- Post added 08-15-2012 at 02:48 AM ----------

	Originally Posted by Birdy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Why does wanting sex make one a pig?

Wanting sex doesn't make someone a pig. Giving off that vibe as a first impression implies that sex is what one is most interested in, though. Women are not sexless creatures either, but I don't think most women (myself included) want to bother with men who only seem interested in them sexually.

---------- Post added 08-15-2012 at 02:55 AM ----------

	Originally Posted by LiveNotOnEvil To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Wow, I don't know where to begin with how many things are wrong about that. You hate seeing someone of the opposite sex indicate that they find you attractive? That's one of the first times I've ever heard that from someone.

Why would my reactions be "wrong" in any way? I have actually heard from several INTJ's on this forum that they have similar opinions/reactions.

Originally Posted by LiveNotOnEvil To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I've checked out women plenty of times and would love to get to know some of them, but I consider it outright retarded to walk upto a random who I've never met and just hit on them. I consider it an imposition and interruption of what they're doing with no consideration towards them. So ironically you've pretty much got the opposite of what is true with men i.e. usually the sleazebags who want to just sleep wth you and nothing more will be the ones to "get to know you" and the nice guys will pass up the oppurtunity assuming the girl is already with someone, or that it's rude to just talk to a random person who may not want to talk to you etc. The problem with society is that the worst men are the ones that usually hit on women, same is true for women to men. This is why women are usually left with their favourite saying: "Why are all the good men gay or taken?". The thing is that all the good, intelligent, well off, attractive guys that I know don't just hit on random women and don't do things that way. It's only the cocky bastards with very little to offer who usually do that. Just like the majority of women who hit on guys are not typically the ones that a guy would want,

The "sleazebags" you mention are the men I am speaking of that I avoid big time. I don't know where the misinterpretation was. For the reasons stated above, I have learned to approach (usually "nice") men I find interesting. Most women (at least mature ones) will appreciate a man who wants to get to know her first, even if his approach is a little awkward.

[jasonkramer]

ive never noticed anyone checking me out so it does not bother me in the least. cant exactly be annoyed my something you dont realize exists. if i did notice a random person starring at me though my likely reaction would be along the lines of keeping an eye on them, look to vacate the area or start planning to hurt them. for all i know they could be planning to hurt me.

as for women, and some men, hitting on me? my reaction is to repel them the best i can. i see it as a clear threat threat to me and rationally i know i shouldn't. none the less, depending on how well i know them, i may start being degrading, evasive or dismissive. anything to get them to leave me alone. if they start touching me i will either leave instantly or plan to assault them. as you can imagine my unnatural overreaction to something so natural and human has pretty much prevented me from ever having a romantic relationship.