[krisl]

I vent about stuff sometimes. I have noticed that a lot of people on the forum are friendly, but sometimes something touches a nerve. I've learned to avoid discussing politics in general, but some topics surprise me. I almost want to put on a disclaimer "Please don't get mad at me!"

[MissionPossible]

	Originally Posted by krisl To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I have noticed that a lot of people on the forum are friendly, but sometimes something touches a nerve. I've learned to avoid discussing politics in general, but some topics surprise me. I almost want to put on a disclaimer "Please don't get mad at me!"

Some people are are more easily annoyed than others, especially about certain things due to natural preferences or based on their experiences. It is also true that sometimes people mistakenly perceive anger or annoyance where it does not exist.

As a newbie, I am rather ignorant of any annoyance patterns of this particular community as a group.

[TheWanderer]

Video games
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[deconspire]

Inward: I keep it to myself (barely think about it, try not to think about it)

Sometimes it boils over. Then I'm just looking for a reason to bang.

[Still Standing]

When I'm angry, I try to accept/let go and forgive before it turns into bitterness. Easier said than done, though, and I work through the anger on my own.

[Philanthropist]

	Originally Posted by peppersasen To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I see a lot of negative people on INTJf. Seriously negative people. I'm talking about the semi-erratic ones that can be nasty and make me think "huh? What did I ever do to piss you off? What the hell do you have against me?" To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I think you maybe reading into things too much. I think there are a handful of bitter people here, but not many who are truly bitter.


To answer the question, I'm not a bitter person. If I have negative thoughts or emotions, I just left them out. Bottling these up is what leads to bitterness in the long run.

[JulietCapulet]

I try hard not to be bitter but I'm sure I have moments being so...hmmmm

(thinking)

I try to be alone at those times so no one has to deal with that. I might do some dance, sing or do some artwork to get out negative feelings.

[anticlimatic]

Bottling bitterness is an ITJ thing, and probably the primary reason I thank the stars every morning that I'm not one of them.
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[Muse]

I don't experience much bitterness at all. The small amount I do get, I just try not to think about it or try to solve the problem.

I do sometimes get hurt though. Usually because someone did something that violates trust or humanitarian morals (basically anything most people would publicly say, in a room filled with their peers, "I would never do that because it is not nice to do"). For a long time I have had the tendency to just try to deal with it inwardly, like most things.

Unfortunately this teaches people to continue being abusive since there was no resistance or negative consequence. So I had to practice retaliation/self defense. Surprisingly this gets them to stop a majority of the time, and often times I notice that they become better people in the long run and don't do the same bad thing to anyone else.

In this way I am kind of like their teacher I guess, and I think society would be more positive in general if people practiced this form of social accountability more often. It would be wonderful if it was unnecessary, but positive intrinsic values are extremely rare. No bitterness results since the issue is solved or paid for. No negative feelings to carry.

[Littllefilly]

I agree bitterness wouldn't have been my choice of words. But I like to be very focused with my penned up emotion.. so when someone offers themselves up.. and are clearly willing to needlessly dish negativity out.. I welcome the opportunity to release it to them... because life does get to me sometimes.. and some people seem to want to bring the worst of me.. not my friends or even most people. I too have seen lots of negativity here on this forum. No wonder I never truly felt like an INTJ. I am not into ruin some ones day.. that usually ruins mine.. but not always. Sometimes I want to thank the people I go off on.

[Kisai]

Anger and bitterness are expenditures of mental resources and stress which have no return on their investment.

If you have to act, then act without hesitation. The scenario will change. If you don't have to act, let go of it. Tomorrow has opportunity; yesterday holds regrets.

[ollin24]

Originally Posted by peppersasen To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I see a lot of negative people on INTJf. Seriously negative people. I'm talking about the semi-erratic ones that can be nasty and make me think "huh? What did I ever do to piss you off? What the hell do you have against me?" To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I'm a negative person myself, I've got people I'm very angry at, situations I'm angry about. I'm lucky in some ways, unlucky in some others, VERY unlucky in some other departments (my point being I have a lot of pent up anger). But I tend to be a little more "focused" and "targeted" in expressing/letting out my bitterness. I don't take out out on just about anyone. I take it out on people who are a lot like the people who got me bitter in the first place (people who remind me of them, people with the same kind of ignorance, people who are rude about my situation). But I noticed that some people just spread their bitterness all over the place, regardless. So where do you direct your bitterness? Be honest and really think about it, the poll is anonymous.

If I'm bitter towards someone then most of the time I would remain silent and not be so engaging with that person. I'll admit that if I ever talk to the person again, then most often I would throw the pile of unanswered letters full of brutal writings to the table for the person because the fact remains that I'm a very resentful person. However, if it's based in on a more introverted perspective... I do get bitter about being reminded of certain memories but I never do share them and if people ask, my answer is always "it's not my day today" in a goofy tone to eliminate suspicion.

[JulietCapulet]

Also I wanted to add that playing piano really helps when I feel upset about something. When I am practicing, most of the bad feelings I have will at least temporarily slip away.

[jbusic]

I keep it to myself and constantly think about it, but use sarcasm to overcome it.

[sunitaishot]

I don't think anybody has to be nice to anybody else, so if people snap at you, maybe you need to re-evaluate your expectations of human interaction.

---------- Post added 07-09-2012 at 11:11 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Muse To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I don't experience much bitterness at all. The small amount I do get, I just try not to think about it or try to solve the problem. I do sometimes get hurt though. Usually because someone did something that violates trust or humanitarian morals (basically anything most people would publicly say, in a room filled with their peers, "I would never do that because it is not nice to do"). For a long time I have had the tendency to just try to deal with it inwardly, like most things. Unfortunately this teaches people to continue being abusive since there was no resistance or negative consequence. So I had to practice retaliation/self defense. Surprisingly this gets them to stop a majority of the time, and often times I notice that they become better people in the long run and don't do the same bad thing to anyone else. In this way I am kind of like their teacher I guess, and I think society would be more positive in general if people practiced this form of social accountability more often. It would be wonderful if it was unnecessary, but positive intrinsic values are extremely rare. No bitterness results since the issue is solved or paid for. No negative feelings to carry.

I don't get why society these days seems to legitimise abuse. I feel if others are abusive in any context, learn to deflect it, manage it, or fight back and stop it. It's surely a simple response, given that humans seek pleasure over pain. Despite humans being complex, we are often very simple beings.

As for bitterness in general, I think that it depends on why a person is bitter. I think this modern trend to be positive is just a symptom of the PC society, since it's impossible never to be negative. However, I think that a person should evaluate why they are bitter. if it's something that can be changed, do so. if it cannot, learn to manage with it.

[24601]

I take out a lot of mine when I work out. Not sure if that's inward or outward, but a lot goes into strength training.

[Coralaisly]

There are a couple situations over which I do feel VERY bitter. They're all ones in which someone I've trusted deeply has let me down in a very profound manner. I usually cut these people out of my life and attempt not to think about them or what happened. I don't like the way I become when I'm actively thinking about it and / or are interacting with these people.

Once I've been let down that way, it's hard for me to let it go. I take great care in selecting individuals whom I choose to let into my inner circle, and I think very highly of those who manage to get there. It's the ones who get there and I later find have betrayed me, think me weak, overemotional, etc etc etc. It comes as a very harsh blow to me to find that someone I held in such high regard doesn't have any respect for me, and I'd rather just no longer know them than try to overcome that. It's not worth it and I can no longer trust them.

If I know someone well, and the subject of one of these people comes up, I'll sometimes show how disappointed I am in this person, but rarely how hurt I was by them. If I let someone in and they hurt me, I don't give second chances. I'm done and it's over. There are billions of other people on the planet, I'd rather spend my time on one of them than someone I don't think is worth my time and emotional energy (I only have so much haha)

[SarcasticVlad]

I build it all up inside, analyze it and keep building. And it works well until I snap. It ain't pretty when it happens.

[Tactical Panda]

The things I write and philosophy.

[awalkingcliche]

When I feel "bitter", like after I've been mistreated, underestimated, taken advantage of, etc., I don't bottle it up. Usually I vent, which consists of me ranting aloud to myself.

However, I also use reappraisal. I often remind myself that these types of things are not worth my time and/or happiness. If someone tries to offend me without reason, I have done nothing to provoke them, I often remind myself that it's not my problem. I keep calm, tell him my opinion, and reiterate the fact that I have no quarrel with him. Then I leave them to fester in their own misery.

This saves me time, headaches, and all sorts of mental and emotional turmoil. Bullshit will not be tolerated. Plain and simple.

I also channel whatever negative energies I may be having into productive pastimes. I run. I write. I clean. I cook. Stuff like that.

---------- Post added 07-10-2012 at 07:47 AM ----------

	Originally Posted by ollin24 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If I'm bitter towards someone then most of the time I would remain silent and not be so engaging with that person.

I do this also, to some extent.

I don't know if this makes sense, but if there is a situation...I don't back down, but at the same time I don't put up senseless bickering. It's a waste of time.

[The Dan Keizer]

I didn't really like the answers in the poll. I don't think I am bitter about much. If something bothers me to the point where it really fucking bothers me, I will tell somebody about it. It doesn't really matter to me who.

I don't think I "take it out on" people though. I don't go on bitch sessions or really throw hissy fits. (Hmm... maybe I do) But I like to think that I try to be objective about my problems. I just talk.

[zippikay]

usually, these are the order of priority:
1. the source; revenge served cold and ruthless; immediate or long and winding
2. if can;t no.1, just accept the loss and take it as part of life. let go and move on. lesson learned and make sure not to happen again... do some sport usually help to vent out
3. under no condition should innocent party be on the receiving end of venting out that's just unfair

[ajrosales]

Some people mistake a need to analyze and / or clarify as "bitter." If someone has a personality that inherently gravitates towards "flaws" in an effort to understand them or to eliminate them, that is also considered "bitter". Most people don't see life in that regard, and so view that as unnecessarily critical.

[TheStranger]

Sure, I'm bitter (mostly direct it towards myself), and mainly due to having a mind ill-equipped for normal interaction. Life seems ultimately empty to me. Increased social interaction has only poisoned my prior notions of people, lowered my expectations. I have superficial interests which allow me to somewhat relate to certain types of people, but there is no ability to relate concerning core perspectives, this has produced tremendous social anxiety. I don't go out much anymore, and most of the time it is difficult to push myself forward in life.

I'm just tired, and running out of time (was recently reminded).