[Mayu]

I can only speak from my perspective.

Do. NOT. Be. Persistent.

I absolutely detest guys who are persistent just for the sake of it. If you want to melt an INTJ girl into a pool of water (analogy only!), connect with her through her Fi function. It is our inferior function but also our most neglected one. Most of the times, we overexert our priorities into our Ni and Te functions and trying make sense of everything. However, when it comes to the matters of the heart, we can be very vulnerable. If people trample on our feelings, we immediately withdraw completely and it will take a long time before we get out of it again. As long as you are genuine and sincere, you just have to be yourself. We hate hypocrisy at its worst.

Oh, to reiterate what the others have said, no small talks please. It annoys the hell out of us. We don't care what you had for your breakfast or how your dog killed your neighbour's cat.

[Causa Mortis]

	Originally Posted by Mayu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I can only speak from my perspective. Do. NOT. Be. Persistent.

This is unbelievably bad advice. If she politely says no the first time, you shrug it off you ask a second time in a very non-needy manner a week later. If she politely says no a second, you ask a third. You take the third no graciously and seriously.

*does not apply to the workplace, where the first no should be taken very seriously, and you probably should'nt be shitting where you eat anyways.

[Mayu]

	Originally Posted by Causa Mortis To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	This is unbelievably bad advice. If she politely says no the first time, you shrug it off you ask a second time in a very non-needy manner a week later. If she politely says no a second, you ask a third. You take the third no graciously and seriously. *does not apply to the workplace, where the first no should be taken very seriously, and you probably should'nt be shitting where you eat anyways.

In other words, asking once every week until 3 chances are up is good advice?


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[Lilie]

	Originally Posted by Mayu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If you want to melt an INTJ girl into a pool of water (analogy only!), connect with her through her Fi function.

Yep. Most INTJ women are going to have an idea of how their ideal partners ought to be. Either you're it or you're not, really. There isn't really a way to make her fall in love if you're not close enough to what she wants.

Best advice is be sincere and thoughtful, but don't take it too personally if she's not interested.

	Originally Posted by Causa Mortis To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	This is unbelievably bad advice. If she politely says no the first time, you shrug it off you ask a second time in a very non-needy manner a week later. If she politely says no a second, you ask a third. You take the third no graciously and seriously.

This isn't bad advice. The first time my current boyfriend asked I told him I was still thinking about it. He asked two weeks later and I was ready. He was a serious contender from the start though.

My closest friend at the moment is ENFJ. She's very sweet and very smart, but she can be exhausting. I don't know if I'd go for that type in a relationship.

[frontaLobotomy]

Whatever happened to just asking the girl out? If she's interested in you, she will not reject you. If she says no, and is trying to be coy, then she isn't worth the effort.

There's no secret, no planning involved. Only wimps look to strategise potential romances.

[ModernLit]

Originally Posted by Synchronize To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Luck always help xD But if i work my ass of, i won't need that much luck To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. So, basicaly i shouldn't agree with everything she says the moment she says it, i should argue and make her explain herself, and bit by bit agree with her? What is small talk for you? lets face it, INTJ are all possible genius :P

um, i like it when people agree with me, because i usually have a plan and there is some method to the madness that they just don't see yet. i don't usually like explaining myself because it puts me on the defensive, like "you don't trust me?" because i already don't trust YOU.

also do not like being teased unless i tease you first. too much teasing and i'll get mad and annoyed. it's a fine line. try just being nice and honest, like thecase suggested. i also like the straightforward thing, but it can be too much if i don't know you that well.

i'd like someone to take in interest in the things i like to do, and at least meet me halfway.

...it's possible i'm somewhat demanding, but i repay in kind. i like sensitive people attuned to others, thoughtful, knowledgable, and quietly confident. don't know much about your type, though, OP. extremely extroverted people tend to scare the crap out of me; all the talking makes my head spin when i'd rather just focus and be able to slowly crawl out of my shell
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also: silence is sometimes really comforting. don't feel like you need to fill up every second with saying something--and you're on your way to winning an introvert.

[Zsych]

	Originally Posted by Synchronize To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What do you mean by having my emotional level above hers? what does that imply?

Being more positive, energetic, excited than she is. So that you're good to be around.

[thod]

Yuck. Who want an INTJ to fall in love with them? It would be like kissing a crocodile.

[Causa Mortis]

	Originally Posted by Mayu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	In other words, asking once every week until 3 chances are up is good advice? To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

There's no argument. You interact with her in a playful and non needy manner. You are indifferent to her outcomes. When she says no, it doesn't matter, you're still fun and cool. You are just having a great ride and inviting her along for it.

[Sesame]

My rules go like this:
DON'T come off as needy or desperate. That will be an automatic turn off. Confidence is key.
Humor is always a big one. But none of that stupid immature humor
and lets see...I like some fight. If the guy tends to my every wish and need then I get bored. I mean, tell me "No" every once in a while lol geez.
No big displays of affection..that always makes me feel uncomfortable. I'd rather do, me & the other guy in a one-on-one type deal.

[Ender]

Be sincere in your interest and if she's interested in you, you're already on your way. If she's not interested in you, you should probably move on.

But more importantly, don't listen to us - listen to her. I mean really listen and try to understand who she is as a person, and then be willing to make some compromise in terms of your behavior vs. hers. You're an extrovert - she's an introvert; you're not always going to agree on what constitutes an enjoyable daily life.

[Megalomania]

Just be a decent human being. It has worked wonders for me.
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[Frenetic Tranq]

Originally Posted by Mayu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I can only speak from my perspective. Do. NOT. Be. Persistent. I absolutely detest guys who are persistent just for the sake of it. If you want to melt an INTJ girl into a pool of water (analogy only!), connect with her through her Fi function. It is our inferior function but also our most neglected one. Most of the times, we overexert our priorities into our Ni and Te functions and trying make sense of everything. However, when it comes to the matters of the heart, we can be very vulnerable. If people trample on our feelings, we immediately withdraw completely and it will take a long time before we get out of it again. As long as you are genuine and sincere, you just have to be yourself. We hate hypocrisy at its worst. Oh, to reiterate what the others have said, no small talks please. It annoys the hell out of us. We don't care what you had for your breakfast or how your dog killed your neighbour's cat.

Specific examples of connecting through Fi, if you can think of them?

[La Comtesse]

Without all the background details (which is an interesting story in itself) I wound up getting asked "out" by a guy for the next few weeks before I move out of my apartment. At first i was like whatever, why not... And then we got to talking. In terms of trying to get my attention, these were the major turn-offs:

1 . Small talk small talk small talk. God he wouldn't stop the small talk. HOWEVER, One of his friends was about to hit the sack for the night but before he left he asked what my career ambitions are... Then said that they sounded awesome and would be down for a conversation that lasted until 4am on anything and everything remotely related to it. THAT piqued my interest and I was totally down for that kind of convo.
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But, like I said, he went to bed so I was stuck with Mr. Small Talk.
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2. Repeatedly putting down the city where I'll attend grad school. Said it sucks more than any other city he's ever been in, and wouldn't let up. I would think this is a big no-no for any girl,
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but I was even more insulted because I picked my grad school based on what best fits my needs and ambitions. I put a lot of energy into weighing options, especially grad school!, so this started getting to me after 20 minutes of non-stop down talk.
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There were a few other things but they had more to do with the situation/environment and I'd rather not get into details here.

[Fecal McAngry]

	Originally Posted by Frenetic Tranq To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Specific examples of connecting through Fi, if you can think of them?

I was playing Scrabble with my INTJ ex, whom I was not yet dating, on Facebook, in 2010. She entered a two or three-letter word of minimal value, and messaged me something like "Whoops, my cat just bumped my hand." I played a word of similarly crappy value and messaged her "There--now we're even
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" She later told me that was when she began to have feelings for me.

[SeverusSin]

Newsflash: you cannot "make" anyone fall in love with anyone. Reality will deal with that, you can only control your own actions. Make yourself do exactly what you want and desire and if the potential love interest reciprocates, you may have your winning formula.

[Futures]

	Originally Posted by ModernLit To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	also: silence is sometimes really comforting. don't feel like you need to fill up every second with saying something--and you're on your way to winning an introvert.

This is great advice. Might even be a way to gauge interest, see if she is compelled at all to make conversation. Just don't make it ackward silence.

[mieu]

Short of threatening with violence, you can't make anyone do anything. Just be yourself, lest she fall in love with someone who isn't you, and leave once she learns what the real you is like.

[Synchronize]

Thanks everyone =D theres some great advice that will really help me a lot.

I don't know if i have a chance with this girl, probably not, but she's the only girl that i felt any kind of attraction for the last couple of years, she's probably the only person that can surprise me with her wits and intellect xD

But ill follow your advice!

But in a more specific scenario:

If i tell this girl my feeling, wouldn't she like "ignore" me after that? or will everything stay the same?

[Resonance]

Depends on what you mean by telling the girl your feelings. Why not just ask her out on a date?

[Synchronize]

	Originally Posted by Resonance To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Depends on what you mean by telling the girl your feelings. Why not just ask her out on a date?

Because she has a boyfriends, and she´s a coworker, and a friend. And i really don't wana risk that

[PurpleGiraffe]

Tools you will need:
-A shovel or other implement for digging
-A design plan
-A large amount of something liquid and/or a large amount of plastic balls from fast food restaurants
-Time
-Another invidual

Step one: Dig out your carefully laid plans until you have a deep hole that spells "Love"
Step two: Fill large hole in ground with liquid or plastic balls or whatever fun, relatively soft amount of goods. (Note: do not choose these objects on a day when you might be feeling "emo." It is best for this hole not be filled with such suggested objects as: dirty razors, broken glass, rusty nails, Justin Beiber clones)
Step three: Hit your INTJ love-interest with shovel and take to the "Love" hole site
Step four: Have a friend or whomever, push you and your INTJ into the "love" pool (it is preferable that you wait until your INTJ has regained consciousness before this step)

There - you have now successfully gotten your INTJ to fall "in love" with you! Congratulations!

[Resonance]

	Originally Posted by Synchronize To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Because she has a boyfriends, and she´s a coworker, and a friend. And i really don't wana risk that

Pursue someone else if you don't want to risk that. Going after someone with a boyfriend is incredibly messy. Dipping your pen in the company ink is even messier.

[The Dan Keizer]

	Originally Posted by lancelot To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Just be yourself. If an INTJ is interested in you, they will take you for who you are.

This is a smart motherfucker right here. You don't make people fall in love with you.

[OhComeON]

Be interested in the outcome (Love), but never try to manipulate to get to the outcome. I'm oblivious to a lot of things, but and INTJ woman can smell a manipulation a mile away. Just show her who you are.