[Sophiatrist]

In a nutshell asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to other people. All the rest of it is simply variations on a theme. If you go on a site like AVEN and ask 100 different people what being asexual means to them you will likely get 100 different answers. But the lack of sexual attraction will be common.

Personally I look at sex the same as I do giving my partner a backrub. Physically I certainly do not get anything out of it, perhaps a little exercise. But it makes him feel good and emotionally that makes me feel good. In return he can buy me chocolate!
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For other asexuals just the thought of sex is repulsive. And in between there are those for whom cuddling and kissing is all right, sex itself is not.

As far as relationships go, yes, it is tricky when it is between an asexual person and one who is sexual. There has to be a certain amount of compromise. It would be just unreasonable to expect a sexual individual to forgo sex entirely as it would be to ask an asexual person to have sex daily. Not all sexual people or asexual people are able and/or willing to make that compromise.

[AlfredSchnittke]

Originally Posted by Sophiatrist To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Personally I look at sex the same as I do giving my partner a backrub. Physically I certainly do not get anything out of it, perhaps a little exercise. But it makes him feel good and emotionally that makes me feel good. In return he can buy me chocolate! To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. For other asexuals just the thought of sex is repulsive. And in between there are those for whom cuddling and kissing is all right, sex itself is not.

Hmm...so you would give "sex on demand" to your SO (if they were not asexual)?

I guess I could see a non-asexual going for that then.

Not me personally, I would be incredibly with it.

But I guess some "traditional" minded folks would be totally cool with it, especially men dating an asexual women, as that's how it's "supposed" to be.

[Sophiatrist]

	Originally Posted by AlfredSchnittke To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Hmm...so you would give "sex on demand" to your SO (if they were not asexual)? I guess I could see a non-asexual going for that then. Not me personally, I would be incredibly with it. But I guess some "traditional" minded folks would be totally cool with it, especially men dating an asexual women, as that's how it's "supposed" to be.

"On demand'? It would all depend on how frequent the demand was. Having sex was generally less often than my husband desired and on more occasions than I would have really cared for. But that is the nature of compromise.

[AlfredSchnittke]

	Originally Posted by Sophiatrist To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	"On demand'? It would all depend on how frequent the demand was. Having sex was generally less often than my husband desired and on more occasions than I would have really cared for. But that is the nature of compromise.

Sounds like a lose-lose situation you had going on...

But I just meant, if it's no big deal, why would you ever bother saying no really?

(Short of pragmatic reasons, like being exhausted, or busy or something).

[Sophiatrist]

	Originally Posted by AlfredSchnittke To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Sounds like a lose-lose situation you had going on...

It sounds as though you are not grasping the fundamental concept of compromise.

[Polymath20]

I don't think I'm asexual, but my perspective on sex is not what American media conditioned me to believe it should be. As a young male, I'm supposed to want to bang anything at any time, but I simply don't. I lean closer to the asexual end of the spectrum, but not 100%.

Thanks everyone. I just needed some fresh perspective.

[AlfredSchnittke]

	Originally Posted by Sophiatrist To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It sounds as though you are not grasping the fundamental concept of compromise.

The way you phrased it made it sound like neither of you is happy...


I actually don't believe that much in compromise though. Call it idealistic, but in the highest quality relationships I've been in (the only ones really worth being in for me) I have never once come across an issue that required "compromise" the way most people seem to.

If my partners saw it differently they never let me know about it...