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#151 | |||
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Core Member [418%]
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Elfie, I agree with you on a logical AND emotional level. You know my perspective on assorted sexualities, in that they're all aspects of humanity. But it seriously concerns me that trans individuals are putting their safety into assumptions of rationality, where assault isn't rational. It's an instinctive fight reaction to what these dudes fear. |
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#152 | |||
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Member [34%]
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I think what it comes down to is what I like to call the, "if its important enough to hide" litmus test. A lie, is really a very personal thing when you think about it. The truth may not be the opposite of a lie, but it can at times be almost ruthlessly impersonal, because it is by definition objective. It is neither neccesary nor suffient that a statement be merely "accepted" in order for it to be true, because the statement is true precisely in so far as it is independent of interpretation. To speak the truth is to accurately represent repeatability regardless of context, it is to state exactly that which is agreed upon without acceptance. When we say what is true, not only do other humans agree with us, but so do the birds, and the fish, and the trees, and the flowers, and the stones, and the sands, and the waves, and the moon, and the very earth itself, so that if we are to ask for "acceptance" it may be granted by no one, save mother nature herself. A lie has no such standard of rigor to bare, it makes no promises of agreement, and grants acceptance to any who would carry it. |
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#153 | |||
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Core Member [418%]
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Like everything else in life, it's a matter of risk vs. return. If people feel the risk is worth the return, they'll approach it as a necessity to hold their rational stance and perspective. As long as they're aware of potential consequences, then it's their lives where authenticity to values means more than risk of emotional and physical injury. |
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#154 | |||
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Member [34%]
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I'm not entirely disagreeing with you to be honest, just saying that there comes a point where it can backfire. I mean, if ever there was a social tight-rope walk, this is it. The longer you wait and the more attached you get, the more there is to lose, and in turn the stronger fear's grip on you, which subsequently makes you more susceptible to those feelings of self loathing that drive people towards acts of desperation, which is a very dangerous place for anyone to be. |
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#155 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Core Member [139%]
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My bullshit detector is going haywire and the emotional daisy-chain going on in this thread is repulsive.
There is plenty of deception going on in a situation where a transperson does not disclose the information regarding their condition. 1. It presupposes an assumption by the transperson that the male they are interacting with has preexisting bias against transpeople. In simpler terms, the transperson simply doesn't trust the judgement of the male. An excellent way to start a relationship. 2. The transperson deceives herself in assuming the only kind of relationship is merely emotional and is devoid of physiological criteria. 3. The transperson knows of the male's assumption of her complete femaleness and willingly withholds information contrary to the male's assumption. Not only does the transperson deceive the male, she also deceives herself.
If a male knows a female wants to have children from the beginning, and a male chooses to not disclose his sterility. Then both of them spend time together and him allowing the female to make significant emotional investment in him "as a person," what's that called; deception, malice, or emotional blackmail?
Did you know that the person who owns the place does not allow pets before you decided to rent it?
And to other male-to-female transpeople, how would you react if a male you've made significant time and emotional investment in says: "I was born with a vagina."
Types of males transperson will attract through Disclosure and Non-Disclosure: "I want to weed out the fetishists." is the bullshittiest reason for non-disclosure, because non-disclosure winds up including males who are actually worse for the transperson than the fetishists. Transpeople can practice disclosure and weed out fetishists by simply going out with them on dates and getting to know them as individuals, can they not? Can anyone else see the astounding irony of ironies in this practice?
If a couple of weeks translates to a few dates then yes, that is in my opinion sufficient time for disclosure. Any longer than that where emotional investment by the male increases goes into emotional blackmail territory. |
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#156 |
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Member [34%]
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Dear Mr. Uriel,
Excuse me for a moment while I compose myself, listening to an INTJ make a blatant appeal to the authority of popular consensus caused me to puke up what little faith I have left in humanity's capacity for logical discourse, and I'm going to need my concentration in order to play the world's tiniest violin for the collective wounded ego of all those poor phallus worshipers whos' delicate sensibilities have been savagely brutalised by trans women who failed to prostrate themselves before the sanctity of the almighty cock-god's most holy symbol in penance for their wicked existence. Its funny, because we have a phrase for your bullshit detector in my language too, but we call it a, "one man intellectual circle jerk". It means "to call something bullshit by citing bullshit as justification". I mean really, if you want to use "its true because a symbol told me so" as your argument, we have an entire sub forum for that. I don't care if every man from Tutonkhamen to Justin Beiber have the same expectation, people can assume what ever the hell they want to assume, it still doesn't change the fact that they've got no one but themselves to blame when reality comes and smacks them upside the head then shoves the horseshit presumptions they just horked up all over the world back down their throat; and when it does, they can either swallow, or GTFO. There is nothing about being a trans woman that in any way inhibits an individual's ability to take your order at a restaurant, or join Oprah's book club, or run a company, or any of the other things people do in public society. It doesn't even inhibit their ability to engage a man in terrible small talk while drinking table wine at a cheap Italian bistro, and just like any other woman, the $14.95 he spent on her eggplant parmesean doesn't entitle him to jack shit, one way or the other. She doesn't owe you disclosure any more than you are owed disclosure of the knowledge that the guy you play pool with Friday nights at the rodeo bar is gay, or the lawyer on the other end of the phone line is black, or anyone else owes you a justification for their existence because they deviate from what you expect to be normal. Every day gay men shoot pool without any deliberate attempt to deceive you, and black men practice law without any deliberate attempt to deceive you, and trans women walk down the street minding their own business with no deliberate attempt to deceive you. It happens, get over it. |
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#157 | ||||||||||||
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Core Member [139%]
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That wasn't an appeal to authority or popular consensus. I did not state that fact as an absolute that disproves the transcommunity's stance. I pointed it out for them to consider as a hurdle; a big -if not the biggest one in their struggle to be understood and accepted.
I'm glad you understand what the transcommunity needs to hear.
Irrelevant garbage.
An army of strawmen if I ever saw one. |
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#158 | |||
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Member [34%]
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Your emotional investment entitles you to precisely its weight in gold. Which is to say: nothing. To understand why, see the section of my previous post entitled: Irrelevant Garbage. I'm pretty much done here, but from what I hear, the reason that there are so few illogical INTJs is because they cannibalize their wounded. Just sayin, you can keep talking if you want, but all its going to do is make me more and more obnoxiously smug while you hemorrhage Te bait into the shark tank. |
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#159 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Veteran Member [52%]
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You hear that sound? I do believe that sound means it's bitchslapping time up in here!
I do love the smell of smashed transphobia in the morning. Sources in the next posts because it got too fucking long.....No seriously, there's a limit of 20,000 characters to a post! Who knew?
What, and pretend we are our birth sex? Sounds like you want us to be deceptive.
Bullshit. No where is this shown. We're human just like the rest of you.
Maybe it's because she's fucking female?
Is it so if the person has cancer or another medical condition like mental illness or cancer? Never mind the fact you don't know if sterility is a hard limit or something that can be talked about if everything works out on other levels. People aren't one dimensional, atleast, outside the internet they aren't.
If it's that important, it will come up when the time is right. We're not talking about never disclosing here.
What? Why are you assuming Cis is the null hypothesis here?
I see the stupidity of your ideas, the fallacy of appealing to ignorant popular opinion, and raise you 60 sources. I put them in the next post for better formatting and so I can explain why each fucking one is important. For here though, do you consider this Bilaterally Gynandromorphic Chicken male or female?
You mean a trans man? We welcome them. On the plus side, they're more of a man then bigots will every be.
You're basically asking if we're as transphobic as you are. Good thing we're not!
Invalidating someone else's concept of self and self-worth? Even after the person has had to fight tooth and nail for every inch of that identity? And to do this just because you have a preference that doesn't include them? Yeap, that makes tranphobic people evil bastards in my book. |
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#160 |
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Veteran Member [52%]
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My kung fu is strong, Addendum post #1
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#161 |
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Veteran Member [52%]
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Addendum post #2, You don't know the power of SCIENCE!
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#162 |
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Veteran Member [52%]
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Val is insane, part 3 of the Addendum posts!
*dusts of hands* So. Valiyn: 60. Ur: 0 Cite some sources for your claims cause I still got more! We are not being deceptive at all. We are our identified sex. We don't owe you anything about our personal lives, medical experiences, and need let you judge the validity of our identity. If you want to say otherwise, cite your fucking sources. |
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#163 | |||
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Core Member [268%]
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I definitely agree with the "be safe" message. The |
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#164 |
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Veteran Member [61%]
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Trap' may have lost the first match but I think Ireland will nick a point off Spain tonight.
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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#165 | ||||||
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Core Member [418%]
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Good point, as long as transwomen are being careful, testing and screening for phobic behaviours.
I'd assault you and you might even like it. |
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#166 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Core Member [139%]
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Does deduction necessitate sources?
The presence of a penis or a vagina on a female and your exorcism sob-story are both intimate details, but they have one big difference. The latter does not fall under a reasonable assumption based on observable physical appearance and demeanor whereas the former does. They are not comparable regarding physiology-based disclosure. Perhaps you'll win sympathy points from other readers by sharing that sob-story, but you do not get any from me.
No. Strawman.
No, I am not suggesting it. I am pointing out the presupposition of non-disclosure. Non-disclosure means the transfemale assumes the male will reject her based on her genitalia even if it is not proven. I am not the one practicing non-disclosure, it is the transfemale who is doing so. The transfemale already has a negative assumption of the male from the beginning. Let me put it in simpler terms:
And just like humans, you are prone to self-deception.
Is she a female with a dangler between her legs?
Strawman.
Huh?
Yet the transfemale's disclosure issue discards the male's involvement and is something that is entirely controlled by the transfemale alone as if it is not something that can be talked about if everything works out on other levels. People aren't one dimensional, and the transfemale shouldn't treat the male as such by non-disclosure.
Who gets to decide when the time is right?
I'm not assuming anything. What null hypothesis nonsense are you talking about, nobody is collecting data. I was acknowledging the parallels of the sterility disclosure with the transfemale disclosure, and excluding the idea that a man who sleeps with a transfemale might consider it a threat to his sexuality.
That wasn't an appeal to authority or popular consensus. I did not state that fact as an absolute that disproves the transcommunity's stance. I pointed it out for them to consider as a hurdle; a big -if not the biggest one in their struggle to be understood and accepted.
You did not answer my question.
Put your pompoms away and make your contribution to the discussion by answering the question I posed.
Stop with that passive-aggressive behavior and address me directly.
I'll take that as a no.
Strawman.
Hyperbolic appeal to emotion.
Slippery slope, non-sequitur, strawman. Hyperbolic poisoning of the well.
Do you think all that scientific duct tape is going to magically cover up global, cross-cultural, and millennia-long symbolism I showed
I am not contesting the transfemale's identity, so citing that long list of garbage -however impressive- is quite useless.
Miserably. |
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#167 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Core Member [139%]
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If a male prefers a mate who is a complete female it is reasonable for him to assume the females he dates are complete or "real" regardless of the rare incidences of convincing quasi-females (with or sans penii). The quasi-female who is actually aware of the male's reasonable assumption and willingly proceeds to engage the male in a relationship with significant emotional investment on the male's part despite knowing she does not fully fit his reasonable assumption is where the deception lies.
A. Transfemales are rare.
False.
A male can sleep with a transfemale and enjoy the experience knowing or not knowing she's a trans. The conjecture here is the claim of distress due to the possibility of sleeping with a transfemale and enjoying it.
Conjecture.
Nothing. Deriving pleasure by inserting his penis inside a warm, tight, and moist hole has no bearing on sexual orientation.
They are poor comparisons that only have one common denominator: non-disclosure of an aspect that has the potential to be a deal-breaker regarding engaging an individual in a romantic relationship. That is the only parallel it has to the Disclosure issue.
Correct. They just have to get over the presence or former presence of the penis.
And I suspect this stated preference is more inclined by the presence or former presence of the penis.
I suspect this is because of the absence of the uterus and the vagina; body parts "real" and complete females are usually born with.
Conjecture.
Slippery slope. Non-sequitur. Premise is based on conjecture.
False. Christ, another idiotic comparison.
See that bolded gem. Their body, their problem. Transpeople are shifting responsibility and accountability to the other genders and making the issue out to be the other genders' problem, because Transpeople would not acknowledge that the problem is theirs. Expecting both parties male and (real) female to shift their paradigm for them is utterly unrealistic and delusional considering their rarity in the general populace. Not quite female in body, but definitely female in mind.
More false comparisons and hyperbolic bullshit. The ramifications of being proactive regarding the sex organ of a male's potential female mate are not comparable to the ramifications of being proactive regarding sexual intercourse. The issue is not about the consequences of sleeping with a transfemale. It is about the sincerity of the transfemale's intention regarding the male's reasonable assumption. Disclosure.
Talking about the importance of honesty in a relationship, nice. What would it be called when transfemale engaging a male in a relationship while willfully withholding information about herself that is contrary to the male's natural and reasonable assumption about her body? She talks about disclosure "in the long term", that is after the male has made a significant emotional investment into the relationship. Again, EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL. If a male does engage a transfemale through this process, it was through acquiescence to guilt after having made significant emotional investments.
Would you disclose if you were asked that question on the first date? Why? |
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#168 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Veteran Member [52%]
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You're assuming things that aren't true and building your arguments off these claims. So yes, sources do need to be cited if you want to make claims. Ignorant popular opinion is not valid.
You are assuming people are cisgender by default. This is not true. It's like assuming someone is 100% white. They are under no obligation to tell you otherwise and assume you have a problem with it. As the racist, it's your job to be more specific in what you're looking for. And no, the race analogy is not a strawman. Same can be said of a religious analogy. Like being married, if you want a monogamous relationship it's your job to ask your potential partner if they have an issue with it.
Not a strawman. You'd know that if you did any research on the subject? And after I made the research easy for you.
When it is used as a way to invalidate us as female it is.
It's what's you fucking asked for!!! You wanted the god damn stats. Not an appeal to emotion because you asked for them specifically and I gave them to you.
You're bigoted and you're expecting everyone else to be too for this argument to work. You don't have a right to our medical history for your own judgement of our identity. This isn't presupposition of non-disclosure, this is mind your own fucking business.
Trans panic defense anyone? Google it.
Yes. You'd know that if you looked at any of the sources I cited instead of remaining ignorant and appealing to the popular (but unscientific) penis = male, vagina = female binary. Nature is alot more fucking complicated. Try taking a biology course after high school.
Cis and Trans come from the same latin prefix. Apparently you need to study more then biology. When rephreased to "does a female with atypical genitalia = a trans woman born with a penis?" then answer is yes as part of an umbrellia of the larger intersex conditions.
Of every 100 females you talk to, one doesn't have typical genitalia. It's simple fucking statistics.
Not a strawman. If you don't want to date a trans woman then it's your duty to specify that, not hers to tell you. You aren't that special. See, a trans woman is a woman. And if you just specify you want to date a woman, well then you've included her already.
When she wants to. If you've ever had a woman lose interest in you after a week, it's usually because a red flag has gone up some where. It's like that for every woman, it's how we work. Same with trans, we'll make sure you have morals before dating you simply put.
You want to assume that when you say "I want to date a female" the only people that includes are cisgendered. That is not the case. Cisgendered does not equal default or only female (nor does adjectives like white).
It's an appeal to popular consensus. The ideal that penis = male and vagina = female does not compute past high school biology.
I did answer your question. I'm not bigoted enough to care he was born with a vagina. Why? Because if I said I like men, then by definition of him being a man, he's done nothing wrong.
So 1) we're included post-ops in this as well. Fundie bigoted territory now. 2) So what if they still had it? They're still a man. Why is this hard for you to understand? 3) Damn straight. If I had a problem with it, it would be my responsibility to say so and bring it up. I would be the one with the fucking problem with it after all.
That will happen when your worth answering. For now, we're doing this for the people on the sidelines.
You have a problem accepting a trans woman as female and accepting a trans man as male. That's transphobia, but hopefully one day you'll educate yourself out of the ignorance so you can be a better, non-bigoted person. :D You have the problem, it's not the potential date's problem, it's yours. You bring it up in the relationship. Take some responsibility. When you say "I like women" instead you should clarify "I like cisgendered women".
Not a strawman. See above.
You're going beyond not being able to relate though.
Funny. I'm just showing why transphobia is morally wrong in general. Considering it's based off empathy, the appeal to emotion is not a fallacy here.
An appeal to popular ignorance.....how about you cite sources for the validity of popular belief instead?
Sounds like projection. You're ashamed at being a transphobic bigot, so instead of disclosing that to potential dates, you assume your special and they must disclose to you because after all, the world revolves around you.
And you wonder why we don't take you seriously. If this is the best you've got where you have to literally put words in my mouth, it's pathetic. Atleast I'm actually quoting to and responding to the content in your post. |
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#169 | ||||||||||||||||||
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Core Member [268%]
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Curse your saucy assertive feminine wh-hh-hiles *swoons*
Heh, interesting. My behaviour is passive aggressive huh?
You asked transwomen to answer, which is why I did not, I'm a guy.
This is the point we are at an impasse. You see transpeople who do not reveal their past as being deceptive, I expect for consistencies sake you feel the same way about those born with physical intersexed conditions, if you do not then check your bias. However I completely disagree.
Yes. If asked a direct question I would not lie, the exception is in situations where talking of my past would jeopardise other aspects of my life, not limited to safety but that is a big one. If I was unable to answer directly I would not continue things as I, like you, do not consider a relationship developed on deception to be a healthy thing.
Transwomen are women, that you cannot see them that way does not invalidate who they are. |
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#170 |
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Veteran Member [61%]
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Sometimes it's just an exercise in frustration to debate as some people debate purely to reinforce their own beliefs rather than to learn.
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#171 |
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Veteran Member [88%]
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I think trans people should have to wear a lanyard around their necks with a life sized picture of their genitals attached to it. And maybe an arrow on it that points down to their crotch so there will be no confusion amongst those people that think trans people should disclose their real identity openly to all at all times. Apparently, gay men have a real problem with the lack of disclosure given their frequent dating of female appearing trans women. This needs to be resolved for the trans person's sake, not my own retarded prejudices.
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#172 | |||
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Veteran Member [61%]
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It's human nature. The gays were oppressed forty years ago and now they need some group further down the social ladder to oppress to make them feel better and more accepted. I've noticed it's having the opposiate effect. Non gay and non trans people notice this and realise this hypocrisy and end up being more supportive of transsexuals and they end up having less respect for gays. |
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#173 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Core Member [139%]
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Have you ever considered that the wikipage is is the explanation for the popular belief?
A. What percent of the population is female?
See bolded: disclosure is not something that is "owed" to the male, because this is about the transfemale. Disclosure is a show of
Where did I state that I wanted death statistics?
I was not asking you to rephrase it before answering it.
You did not answer my question: Is 1% in relation to 99% a fucking lot of people?
Would you prefer disclosure to occur before the male makes a significant emotional investment or after?
What sexual organ did you expect him to have when you first met him?
Like I said; I'll take that as a no.
Where did I state that I have a problem accepting a transfemale as female? You have to find: 1. personal beliefs, opinions, attitudes and aggressive behaviors that are based on prejudice, disgust, fear and/or hatred [...] 2. transphobic speech Can you do so? You also have not answered my other question: 1. Would you disclose if you were asked on the first date? Why?
No, I'm not.
No.
Using the threat of violence to justify non-disclosure is bullshit, because if a male who is against dating a transfemale knew beforehand, he would not even date the transfemale to begin with. If he does not date the transfemale, he does not engage her in violent behavior. He would know well enough to stay away from the beginning. Non-disclosure winds up including the males who do have issues against it and will have violent reactions during disclosure.
My mistake.
That does not properly address the reasonable assumptions based on other visual information available.
Just because you don't believe you can be affected by emotional blackmail, doesn't mean other males can't.
Religious denomination is not comparable to non-disclosure of contrary information regarding reasonable assumption based on statistical probability.
A. What percent of the population is female?
I acknowledge your acceptance, so let me explain my perception further.
See that bolded gem, is it:
It's quite delusional to equate "to learn" as agreeing with the opposition's unsound arguments. |
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#174 |
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Member [34%]
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The primary problem in this thread seems to be one of disagreement over what makes a woman a woman.
Is it primarily a state of mind or one's physical state; that's the question. If a transwoman is not a woman, then pretending to be a woman is a deception. If a transwoman is a woman, then there is nothing which need be revealed to the second party. A very important side issue is the fact that the transwoman's self-identity is intimately bound to the answer to this question. |
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#175 | |||
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Administrator
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