[Shahira]

Okay, not everyone. But some. Most maybe? When people have different thoughts or opinions some people seem so ready to jump on them, make snarky remarks ect. What's up with that? On other forums ie most respect others opinions and views and accept that people rarely see eye to eye. Also, the forum seems to give off some kind of... Vibe? Just seems something is off. And generalising. That really annoys me. I do it sometimes, I'll be honest with that but nmot to the point where I'll start saying "INTJs are the devil!!!" Or "ESTPs are annoying!!" Is it so hard to show others a little respect? I actually was thinking not to come back on the forum because of certain people but that's like being a coward. Sorry for the rant, just really needed to get that out there. Anyway, am I the only one who thinks/feels like this? Do you think its a problem that needs to dealt with? (BTW this is not an attack on ANYONE or the forum or whatever.) I have also noticed that there are a lot of threads on other forums about this.

[themuzicman]

Usually comes from some kind of insecurity.

[seeyouatx]

It's not limited to this forum, and there are a variety of factors. Bullying is common both in person and online. Online bullying is, in some ways, worse. A person hiding behind a screen across the world can rip to shreds a person without any self-confidence. I should think it stems from some insecurities.

I do notice that some people seem mean but it may just be sarcasm interpreted as being mean. Others are just easily offended and perceive things as cruel when in fact it's just a statement of fact. *shrugs*

When you take out the face-to-face aspect of interactions, it's more difficult to read the intentions of the person and it's much easier to be mean.

[deconspire]

Yeah, well, most people are fucking assholes or whinebabies in general. And it's not like they gotta worry about gettin' punched in they mouths.
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There are also a lot of really nice people here too. They're just usually quieter. But not me. I use a megaphone.
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[Faux hawk]

Have you ever seen the movie fight club?

[Littllefilly]

I have found some incredible people out here.In turn I have found some completely the opposite of incredible. I almost left here a few times. But when I came to say goodbye to the incredibles....I couldn't. They far outweigh the not even close to incredible people. What ruffles my feathers, is they will be mean, thoughtless...I am sorry, I mean THOUGHTLESS, inconsiderate to me, then be around the forum professing they are not THOUGHTLESS. You can't say to them what they said to you, for one because it isn't in our nature, and two because THEY CAN"T TAKE IT. I have some pretty bad days...but it never makes me want to lash out at people so they have a bad day too. So I have to assume their days just really really suck worse than mine ever have..or they are just thoughtless. How I end up on someones ignore list is beyond me. I want to stay as far away from them as I can..I do not need to be ignored.

If you come to my blog, you will feel the love....and if you don't? ((((pigpjs))) will sneak attack you with her stealth hugs. She is dangerous with those.

My blog...A cowgirls never ending trail ride. No haters allowed.

[Kisai]

It's because whoever wins all the arguments gets to mate with ScarJo:

[HIDE="Our Contessa"]
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[/HIDE]

She's cruel, but oh so worth it.

[Ravendicon]

In my experience, it's too much absolutist thinking that does it. And the internet is serious business.

[MechanicalSun]

There is a concept for this:
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[sommers71]

I think it's the way we talk commanding at/to other people that generates the vibe. It's very hard to gauge the level of seriousness a poster is engaged in. INTJ's just seem to jump to points. (I'm not trying to be serious, just come across this way.)

[Saggita]

I don't think the people here are nice but they aren't mean either... There is a lot of snarky people here and sarcasm doesn't really bother me at all.

It is my personal opinion that we can talk more or less freely around here and honestly, I like that.

[Littllefilly]

Gee, I don't know. it takes a lot of effort for me to be mean, and none to be nice.... nice just works for me. Don't get me wrong..I can be the biggest bitch ever, when someone comes along begging the bitch in me to come out and play. But they really have to be begging.

[Faux hawk]

Sometimes, the truth hurts is all, but it's better than false conciliation. Hate happens just make it for the right reasons and then let it go.

[Subgenius]

The religious for obvious reasons.

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[Littllefilly]

Okie dokie then.

---------- Post added 06-06-2012 at 10:37 AM ----------

That little kid in your avatar looks so happy and content. It kind of reminds me of growing up with my brother and sister, traumatizing me.

[Faux hawk]

That's hillarious! I never can tell exactly what it is about the Shat, but he's just amazingly funny to me. It must be because the persona has become as thick as the pan cake make-up, or the dead pan delivery. My favorite interview with him was a piece where he and Kelsey Grammer were discussing quite candidly what it was like to experience the emotional traumas they had. It was one of the most human conversations I'd ever seen on television.

[CreepyCrawly]

I haven't noticed any particular "meanness." People around here are sarcastic as all hell, but the difference between intentional "meanness" and sarcasm without caring about someone's oh-so-important feelings is massive, however subtle it may seem to some.

As far as I can tell, no one on this forum actively attempts to hurt peoples' feelings unless said people act like total morons. They just don't actively try not to, either. Is honesty really so bad?

[Coralaisly]

Tone is nearly impossible to pinpoint in text sometimes.

A lot of the people who come here do so because they feel this environment is one in which they can be more blunt because it's an INTJ sanctuary, and bluntness is a pretty common characteristic. Many come here to speak their minds in a way that they're unable to do in daily life because people get their feelings hurt and it causes problems. There's almost an unspoken rule that you kind of have to have a thick skin to be here for long, and be able to shrug things off because you joined a forum that's filled with people characterized by their way of looking at a situation and trying to find the most efficient solution, which often others find unpleasant or mean.

I've personally found that by and large they're not trying to be mean. Some of them have trouble communicating with people who closely hold ideas that they've determined are so obviously wrong that they're almost comical (in their eyes). Because of the nature of this forum, they may be more comfortable openly shredding those ideas, and if you're someone who takes that behavior personally (when most often, I've found it's really not), your feelings may be hurt by this.

There's also the sarcasm. TONS of sarcasm floating around, and sometimes it's difficult to determine when some are being sarcastic or when they're passing judgment.

[MacheteGeek]

I see no point to harming someone without provocation. To do so would be to wast energy, but so is pussyfooting. Thus perceived brutality.

[Littllefilly]

I have the most incredible friends online and off. They hold me to a higher standard, than unacceptable. Some people here have no regard for others feelings, only their own. They seem to have NO concerned with how they input or comments can impact some ones life. Or effect that persons day. Those people quite frankly, make me sick to my stomach, literally.

[MacheteGeek]

Another perplexing factor I probably shouldn't have uncovered is that people have a tendency to toughen up when faced with persecution. Basically, this hurts me more than it hurts you.
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[Littllefilly]

I would prefer no one gets hurt...win win..I love win win.

[Faux hawk]

That's sad LF... Maybe if you explain to the others that often when people are rude or upset it's internal and likely has nothing to do with them personally they will have a better day next time? You could maybe make some pamphlets or something on it? It sounds like you might want to? Have you tried cherry flavored antacids? Kurt Cobain swore by them. Have a great day filly! Don't let it get to you so much people have to have the light and dark or they just don't balance and the picture gets all washed out. *hugs-a-horsey*
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[CreepyCrawly]

	Originally Posted by Littllefilly To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I have the most incredible friends online and off. They hold me to a higher standard, than unacceptable. Some people here have no regard for others feelings, only their own. They seem to have NO concerned with how they input or comments can impact some ones life. Or effect that persons day. Those people quite frankly, make me sick to my stomach, literally.

You sound bitter.

Really, though, I think you're missing an important detail here. Those of us who have "no regard for others' feelings" generally have an equal amount of regard for our own feelings.

If I were to launch a string of insults at you, you might feel insulted. If I pointed out your flaws and ridiculed you for them, you might feel insulted. Were you to do those things to me, however, I wouldn't care one bit. This is important - it means that if we both were to do these things to each other, you would be breaking the golden rule, whereas I would not.

I think projecting one's own behaviour onto everyone else is a grossly unfair, and also grossly egocentrical, way to think.

[Littllefilly]

Why d I feel like this is de ja vu?

---------- Post added 06-06-2012 at 10:58 AM ----------

Originally Posted by CreepyCrawly To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

You sound bitter. Really, though, I think you're missing an important detail here. Those of us who have "no regard for others' feelings" generally have an equal amount of regard for our own feelings. If I were to launch a string of insults at you, you might feel insulted. If I pointed out your flaws and ridiculed you for them, you might feel insulted. Were you to do those things to me, however, I wouldn't care one bit. This is important - it means that if we both were to do these things to each other, you would be breaking the golden rule, whereas I would not. I think projecting one's own behaviour onto everyone else is a grossly unfair, and also grossly egocentrical, way to think.

LOL Ya I am bitter. I get called that all the time. NOT. Just ask the people who know me.

---------- Post added 06-06-2012 at 10:59 AM ----------

I have this FEELING..... someone is back. Am I on your list again? In your sights perhaps? Cause you are in mine.