[havingabubble]

Hello, I am just curious as to just how, being an INTJ, you manage to open up to a complete stranger. I tried once, went for a few times and did talk with a therapist but the impression that I got was that.. it's a bit difficult to explain, it was as if another person was speaking for me, the words that came out of my mouth sounded fake and I had real problems (read skepticism) accepting the usefulness of the whole thing.

Have any of you been in therapy? Have you tried? Tell me your experiences

[Feral]

I've tried it, I can't do it. I just can't justify paying someone that much each week for them to recite to me a script, which is all they're doing. Unhelpful.

[Cozzine]

I'm not sure I could do therapy. I'd be suspicious about their motives, about why they choose to say certain things (emotion over logic) and I find it hard enough to explain myself to people than to have an actual session where all I do is talk about myself and listen to another person scrutinize that.

[AloofChameleon]

	Originally Posted by Vittoria To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I tried once, went for a few times and did talk with a therapist but the impression that I got was that.. it's a bit difficult to explain, it was as if another person was speaking for me, the words that came out of my mouth sounded fake and I had real problems (read skepticism) accepting the usefulness of the whole thing.

That's the funny thing about psychotherapy is that it's still self-help, but different in that you also allow yourself to give part of your self-control to the therapist. For an INTJ, I doubt this to be very helpful (you'd probably pretend to agree with what they say because it would be counter-intuitive to tell them what to think when you sought out their help/opinion/expertise/etc.); I'd wager, you'd probably do better with someone helping you understand most of your circumstances and options and let you choose from them, rather than let someone compartmentalize your experiences for you and make suggestions based on what they decided and not necessarily what you feel/think/agree-with.

But I'm not really an INTJ...so I don't know...sometimes I just like reading this forum.

[spect]

	Originally Posted by Vittoria To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	.. I tried once, went for a few times and did talk with a therapist but the impression that I got was that.. it's a bit difficult to explain, it was as if another person was speaking for me, the words that came out of my mouth sounded fake and I had real problems (read skepticism) accepting the usefulness of the whole thing...

i think being an intj may complicate things a bit, but not that much compared to individual differences to issues and the condition thats being addressed.

did you only go 3 times?

quit after that?

mention your difficulty in communicating to the therapist?

do you rate the condition you were seeking help as mild, moderate, or severe?

[havingabubble]

Not too severe, only went 3 times and quit. Definitely told her about difficulties verbalizing my thoughts.

[TheStranger]

I went dozens of time to therapy. The psychologist concluded I had "severe self-esteem issues." I just don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to correct yourself. Anyway, the therapy didn't seem to change me.

[Azuro]

Originally Posted by AloofChameleon To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

That's the funny thing about psychotherapy is that it's still self-help, but different in that you also allow yourself to give part of your self-control to the therapist. For an INTJ, I doubt this to be very helpful (you'd probably pretend to agree with what they say because it would be counter-intuitive to tell them what to think when you sought out their help/opinion/expertise/etc.); I'd wager, you'd probably do better with someone helping you understand most of your circumstances and options and let you choose from them, rather than let someone compartmentalize your experiences for you and make suggestions based on what they decided and not necessarily what you feel/think/agree-with. But I'm not really an INTJ...so I don't know...sometimes I just like reading this forum.

Got it in one
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. I tried, but couldn't get past the opening up part. It was okay at first, but when I didn't really want to open up about something, I just said what I thought they wanted to hear. Eventually the therapist thought there was nothing wrong, and I was both relieved and a little disappointed that I was so convincing.

[spect]

	Originally Posted by Vittoria To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Not too severe, only went 3 times and quit. Definitely told her about difficulties verbalizing my thoughts.

thats kinda interesting. most of the good therapists can tell when a patient is unconsciously resisting, acting on avoidance to sabotage the effort, what communication problems are and how to overcome them... i would think the good ones know how to handle all sorts of things. so im sorry that happened and hope things worked out well enough for you despite the effort and attempt.

[FruitLoop]

I been in and out of therapy for 15 years, mostly because I believed what people said to me. Once I figured out I actually knew what I was doing, and trusted myself - plain sailing after that.

[Paji eh Wong]

I've been to about a dozen sessions. I went to about one a month for 6-8 months and then a few follow up sessions. I found the initial sessions to be quite helpful but the last session to be pretty useless. I guess I out-grew my relationship with the counselor.

I found it helpful in small doses.

[Zikomo7]

I went to two therapists. I didn't really like any of the solutions that they offered. Meditating just made me sleepy. Trying to find an object to anchor myself was something I did when I was a child, but it didn't work as an adult. Both were older women. I guess if there is a certain type of person you feel comfortable around, it can work. I've always felt too mature for my age so I liked talking with older women. Plus they were mellow and I like how they dropped the religious approach pretty quickly.
It can be hard, especially if you're not used to talking to someone. I also felt like it was "another person speaking for me" but I started planning on what I was going to talk about before I went to the sessions. That helped me

[Gunsmith]

I finally said the hell with therapy. Therapists would drop me for a myriad of reasons just as I was opening up. One woman dropped me because she claimed I was falling in love with her.

[Othesemo]

I have found therapists enormously useful when struggling with depression or similar issues. I think that the biggest benefit is having somebody unrelated to your life who is legally obligated to keep any secret that you tell them. It's like an interactive diary.

[wizardblues]

I'm going to a therapist for the first time next week. Don't have a set date yet.

I'm not sure if I have many expectations, but do hope I'll get something out of it. The therapist was referred to me by two other therapists who were fully booked. I have already evaluated him from all the information on his website and don't feel as apprehensive as I thought I would.

I've never talked to anyone face to face about my problems because I've never known anyone who I'd trust with such things. What interests me about talking to a therapist is they are legally obliged to keep it a secret. It might be worth paying for... We'll see...

[darniem]

Parents had me in therepy since I was maybe 13 or 14 until about 16. Then they divorced and decided that it had to have had an effect on me, and made me go back when I was 17-18. Nothing ever came of it that was helpful to me.

From 18-21 I became, basically, angsty and depressed (like a normal INTJ adolescent) and I voluntarily sought free counseling from a local diocese. That lasted about 4 visits when I realized I knew what was "wrong" with me myself and enrolled in college.

Voluntarily sought therepy from on campus after recurring bouts of depression, and toward the end of the 1st visit the counselor literally said "You're too complex for me." I felt a sort of defeated pride for that one. This caused a little mistrust on my part for this service.

Now I have no counseling/therepy but I am generally happy because I have met older and wiser people in my life (Well trusted ISTJ, INTP, and ESTJ) who I trust 100% with my thoughts and have no problem opening up too when I need them to be that person for me. So far they have never steered me wrong and have given some wonderful assistance these past 4 years.

I could open up to a "normal" therapist in the future if I had to, I suppose, but I think INTJs are at an advantage (or disadvantage) of knowing themselves so well, that, if they sit back and think long enough they can cut through to the core of the matter. What they do with that information will determine the success of finding a solution. If I know clearly what my problem is, I can take that data to someone skilled in helping overcome the problem, an objective party to bounce it off of, and then I can try their advice and hope it works out.

[Silverity]

I've had a few spins with counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists and someone who's professional designation was unclear to me. My conclusion is goodness of fit is so important.

The psychologist I barely got to know, the counselors I walked out on because I deemed them useless, but the psychiatrist and the intake worker were both fabulous. Instead of using sympathy or making little emotional sad faces at me at regular intervals they were more like tacticians helping me construct a battle plan to get over my PTSD. The intake worker wasn't afraid to tell me to suck it up if I was being a pansy and the psychiatrist was delighted when I built a therapy for myself and helped me run myself through it. Both of them seemed to understand that I don't make my decisions based on emotions, and that my PTSD was more based on my thoughts than my feelings (in terms of root causes), and so they worked with that, and helped me understand both. As far as opening up, I had no problem being blunt and admitting my mistakes and vulnerabilities to the intake worker and with the psychiatrist I had a journal that she could read if she wanted to, so I essentially opened up in text which is familiar and comfortable to me.

More recently when one of my family members died I saw a counselor to figure out what paperwork I'd need to miss class and ended up bawling my eyes out. It doesn't really bother me to fall apart though. I guess I'm getting used to it =P She also made sad faces and used sympathy but it was in a low dose and didn't irritate me as much as the first two. I think perhaps because I wasn't looking for answers to my problems with her, I just needed some forms.

[AusOil]

I went once and got the rehearsed garbage as well.
All the while sitting there thinking this person doesn't know what they are talking about.

Kind of destroyed the therapists ability to 'reach' me.

[greyangel]

A year ago I decided to seek therapy due to stress/anxiety about career change process. The first day I met my therapist something clicked and I was able to open up to her (she was only a little older than me, came off very down to earth and not rehersed at all- she wasn't that experienced though however her desire and dedication to help was obvious). You just need to find someone who makes you feel comfortable, and its not easy to find. I think most therapist will offer a meeting session that's discounted, you can call around and look them up on the internet.

My therapist helped me quiet a bit (it was cognitive behavioral therapy) and while I hated reading the stupid book and didn't really do the workbook, I still felt I got something out of our talks. I have not felt anxious like that since then, and I no longer see her.

[Booko]

	Originally Posted by Azuro To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I tried, but couldn't get past the opening up part. It was okay at first, but when I didn't really want to open up about something, I just said what I thought they wanted to hear. Eventually the therapist thought there was nothing wrong, and I was both relieved and a little disappointed that I was so convincing.

Sounds like my daughter. As soon as she figured out she could avoid talking about uncomfortable stuff by diverting the subject to cats and tea, that was that.

Honestly I think her boyfriend is a better therapist. But to be fair, we only tried the one therapist.

I've gone to a marriage counselor, but that's a little different. It's like paying someone to provide communication coaching.

[o7xx12]

Many I+T people are brainy smurf types; this doesn't equate to high IQ, we just tend to have many angles of thought on any given subject (especially about ourselves). However, like brainy smurf, we have been ousted from groups many times due to our need to only talk about things we are interested in, have studied in depth, and finally ready to talk about it after a long amount of time thinking and mulling things over in our mind. We can go weeks or months not saying much, but then once we are ready it is hard to get us to shut up about a subject we finally are ready to talk about out loud.

This makes it hard for therapists to get to know types like ours. They asked varied questions in many different spots of our lives trying to get a quick forest type of impression. When I was sitting in that chair, and trying to answer a question, things were moving too fast. I'd be trying to explain one thing, but I would get cut off and directed to answer something completely different from what I was talking about. Subject changes like that made me feel like I had been pushed off a cliff and fell down on to the road below. I'd look up and see her smiling as if she hadn't done anything wrong.

She would be baffled at my "sudden" mood change. Well, the sudden unannounced subject change made my mood shift, but that never seemed to occur to any of the therapists. It seemed like I was picking up my subtle psychological issues better than they did just by detaching part of myself (like a 2nd observer) and viewing my reactions to them in my mind; they had no clue.

I found therapy to be a waste of time when speaking to people under the level of PhD. I think I would have faired better with an actual doctor, but those people were beyond the scope of my insurance (apparently). I only ever spoke with therapists that had a master's level degree at most, but only for intake. After that they were usually interns or "licensed practitioners" -- whatever that means. It smells of night school courses after working full day shifts at the mall. While admirable, they just didn't have the right training that was helpful in my case.

[EnsconcedDeity]

I've been to therapy around 8 times every few weeks or so for Anxiety disorder and depression. The therapy for me was evidently useless. I found it extremely difficult to open up about my issues. When I finally did open up, I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin; I couldn't sleep at night that day. The therapist however, was incredibly kind and intelligent. He was about 30 years older than me(around his mid 50's I suppose) and he felt a bit like a father figure. As the sessions progressed, I found it difficult to really say anything. Though I did very much respect the therapist, I began to quickly grow exasperated from being around him. My quandaries were the kind that wither over time and I felt I could solve them on my own. I also received medications which could aid me, independent of the therapist. He did feel distraught when I told him I thought the therapy wasn't doing any good for me. I no longer go to therapy or seek "professional" help. But I do miss this person and would have loved to be friends with them(even though therapists aren't allowed to do that). But hey, life goes on.

[KonTiki]

I went to talk to a counselor that was free through my graduate program.

I always went to sessions with a clear idea of what I wanted to talk about. For example, I'm worried that my graduate adviser is going to cut my funding. Or, I'm going to visit my parents this weekend, and I don't want to get impatient with them. Having specific topics served two purposes. First, I knew I would leave having processed some current issues, and perhaps developed some strategies to try out immediately. Second, knowing what I would be talking about neutralized the fear that we would end up talking about something really uncomfortable.

After a few sessions, patterns in my behavior became clear. One example was my reluctance to ask for things from authority figures. We talked about why I avoided asking for things, and where those fears came from. We talked about why those fears were irrational in my current context, though they made perfect sense in other contexts. That was the important part - she pointed out that my view of certain people and situations made sense in one context, but not in another. She was like a good friend who "gets" you and validates your feelings and beliefs, but also doesn't indulge them if they are unproductive.

We never had a catharsis, and I think the closest I came to crying was when I was talking about taking my cat to the vet. Still, the sessions were useful. For example, she told me that before you ask somebody for something, you need to accept the possibility that they will say no. If you can't accept that possibility, you'll try to manipulate them into saying "yes," and that often doesn't go well. If they do say "no," that may be the end of the relationship, or it may be the start of a deeper discussion about why they cannot meet your needs.

[Lilie]

Originally Posted by greyangel To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

A year ago I decided to seek therapy due to stress/anxiety about career change process. The first day I met my therapist something clicked and I was able to open up to her (she was only a little older than me, came off very down to earth and not rehersed at all- she wasn't that experienced though however her desire and dedication to help was obvious). You just need to find someone who makes you feel comfortable, and its not easy to find.

Yes. I've been to three therapists, and only one was worth opening up to. It was still very very hard to do, but I did it.

That actually led to one of the few times she misread me. She told me I always looked scared when she came to get me from the waiting room and asked if it was because I thought she was "going to be different". I was primarily in therapy to recover from a lifetime of being surrounded by people with BPD, so this was a reasonable assumption, but really it was just that I was girding my loins for more opening up. Eep.

[greyangel]

Originally Posted by Lilie To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Yes. I've been to three therapists, and only one was worth opening up to. It was still very very hard to do, but I did it. That actually led to one of the few times she misread me. She told me I always looked scared when she came to get me from the waiting room and asked if it was because I thought she was "going to be different". I was primarily in therapy to recover from a lifetime of being surrounded by people with BPD, so this was a reasonable assumption, but really it was just that I was girding my loins for more opening up. Eep.

Yeah, it really isn't that easy to find someone. I got lucky with finding mine. I think a lot of the work comes from us though...I think just talking about stuff made me feel better right away. BTW- I too had a past where I was surrounded by people with BPD and Schizophrenia.