[Oros Ull]

On average how often do you hate people or things? Do you hold grudges, resentment, regret, malice in your heart? Do you get angry at the drop of a hat? Do you feel abused, abandoned or all around vengeful to those who have brought you pain? Have you grown tired and irritated of how senseless this world is? Have you come to hate yourself because of all this? Or do you relish it?

[HIDE="
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"]I used to be like that. Growing up my family was very abusive and it caused me to be angry for a long time. I would get into fights and do stupid reckless stuff just because I felt worthless and abandoned. But then as a teenager I witnessed how much pain there really is, I watched children die and families fall apart. Was witness to the war torn and the psychologically unstable. Conflict and vendetta were everywhere as people profited off one another’s pain.

At first I found it amusing, it dawned on me that the whole world was in just as much pain as I was if not more, and it caused my malice to get the better of me. I figured if I couldn’t be happy then no one should be.

But then I kept looking. I listened as the kids begged their parents to go home from the terminal children ward. I watched as families fell apart when their children came home from war broken and traumatized if at all. I was there when good people would fall prey to addiction and become shells of their former selves. I fought and pleaded with those who would take advantage of the weak for the sake of profit. I sat helplessly by while I watched the only women I ever loved suffer for years before being taken by illness.

And eventually I realized it wasn’t worth it anymore. It occurred to me how fundamental pain, torture and suffering really are. Not just to man but all manner of beast and ent in this world and the next. And I can’t do it anymore, I can’t hate. I couldn’t allow myself to be so selfish. People wrong me all the time but all I ever see are tortured souls lashing out. I can’t hate them for that, if anything I want to help them. All I want when I see these things are to hold them and tell them it will be ok. But it never is, and I can’t do anything about it. Which is part of what makes it all so awe-inspiringly tragic and beautiful. I mean what good is hatred in such abundance, I would rather love unconditionally.[/HIDE]

[sunitaishot]

I don't hate anybody. Only mentally unhealthy people hate others.

[TheWanderer]

	Originally Posted by sunitaishot To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I don't hate anybody. Only mentally unhealthy people hate others.

You don't hate anyone huh?
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And to avoid the mod's wrath, I don't like it, but I can hate. I try and handle things reasonbly but sometimes when one is overwhelmingly and consistently unpleasant and remorseless its hard not to hate at least a little. I try to clean myself of such feelings, but I have no delusions about being above it all. Though I also have no delusions about hate being a waste of emotinal energy

[Booko]

	Originally Posted by Oros Ull To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	On average how often do you hate people or things?

I hate...cauliflower?

	Do you hold grudges, resentment, regret, malice in your heart?

It takes way too much energy to bother with that stuff. Plus, it's bad for your health in the long run.

	Do you get angry at the drop of a hat?

I get frustrated sometimes, but staying there is pointless. Finding a way out of the frustration is more useful. Or finding a way to get beyond being frustrated in the first place is of more use, since the minor frustrations of life seem to have more to do with ego and attachment anyway.

	Do you feel abused, abandoned or all around vengeful to those who have brought you pain?

No. Has someone brought me pain?

	Have you grown tired and irritated of how senseless this world is?

The world does not appear to be that senseless to me.

[DesertKnight]

Originally Posted by Oros Ull To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

And eventually I realized it wasn’t worth it anymore. It occurred to me how fundamental pain, torture and suffering really are. Not just to man but all manner of beast and ent in this world and the next. And I can’t do it anymore, I can’t hate. I couldn’t allow myself to be so selfish. People wrong me all the time but all I ever see are tortured souls lashing out. I can’t hate them for that, if anything I want to help them. All I want when I see these things are to hold them and tell them it will be ok. But it never is, and I can’t do anything about it. Which is part of what makes it all so awe-inspiringly tragic and beautiful. I mean what good is hatred in such abundance, I would rather love unconditionally.[/HIDE]

This is why I hate. More specifically I see all this pain and suffering and the weakness in the wicked...and I hate. I see that I am powerless to stop any of these things from happening and I hate my lack of strength. Hate and rage are a seething, constant companion of mine, both because of how absolutely horrid the world is and how there is nothing I can do about it. I have tried to release this from myself as I'm quite acutely aware of being able to do nothing but provide comfort for those in pain.

However, I am not a comforting person, I am a person born of violence, bred for violence, and my purpose is to fight; and yet there is nothing to fight so my resent, my guilt, and my regret at my very own helplessness grows steadily. Luckily I am a highly logical person, and so even though I feel this; I do not let it control me.

[deconspire]

	Originally Posted by Oros Ull To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	On average how often do you hate people or things?

All of the time because,

	Do you hold grudges, resentment, regret, malice in your heart?

Yup.

	Do you get angry at the drop of a hat?

Depends on how much I like the hat and who drops it.

	Do you feel abused, abandoned or all around vengeful to those who have brought you pain?

The first two no, because I'm not a little bitch. The third, yessir.

	Have you grown tired and irritated of how senseless this world is?

Please...

	Have you come to hate yourself because of all this?

That's sort of counter-productive.

	Or do you relish it?

Meh.

[curiousgeorge01]

Don't really hate anyone. However....there are some people I would not help if they were ever caught on fire.

[strategist]

I used to hate my father a lot, then I figured it wasn't helping me in any way, I detached and tried to focus on more important things.

[Sethis]

I may not like some people but hate is too strong of a word to use.

[Autumnleaf]

I think hate is akin to anger in the stages of grief. The end stage being acceptance. For the most part I am in acceptance. If I perceive someone criticizing or attacking me or someone I care about then hate/anger comes up. Usually I am able to knock it down to acceptance while dealing with it.

[Lilie]

	Originally Posted by Oros Ull To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	On average how often do you hate people or things? Do you hold grudges, resentment, regret, malice in your heart? Do you get angry at the drop of a hat? Do you feel abused, abandoned or all around vengeful to those who have brought you pain?

Not any more. I used to and then I (here it comes) went to therapy. Hate is just the feeling we get when we perceive something as supremely unfair and uncontrollable. It took a long time and a lot of work to clear out the last of the hate, but things are fantastic now... even though the world hasn't changed.

	Have you grown tired and irritated of how senseless this world is? Have you come to hate yourself because of all this? Or do you relish it?

Yes, but I don't hate it or myself or relish the senselessness. I pretty much just ignore it. Yes, the world is fucked up and a lot of people are suffering and unhappy... but uhm, well. After a long period of honest contemplation and experiments, I concluded that there is nothing I can do about it and therefore there is no sense in thinking about it. So I don't.

[davai]

The Sith had some good ideas, but their conclusions were ultimately a bit off. Not a lot different to what Crowley was doing/attempting to do, he just had a few loose screws - pun probably intended. Seems pointless trying to suppress what's there, how to channel into something worthwhile, that's where he/they ultimately got it wrong.

[Paul Siraisi]

When I commute, daily, and for good reason.

Under most other circumstances I am the soul of generosity.

[Tito]

	Originally Posted by Oros Ull To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	On average how often do you hate people or things?

Not very often. There are a handful of people that I particularly dislike for things they have done to me, but I wouldn't say its hate. For example, if I was to be in a life or death situation regarding one of those people, I would offer them my help without thinking twice. I think that if I'm in a position to help someone, the bs should be put aside and I should just go ahead and help them. Its just part of my motto in life.

	Originally Posted by Oros Ull
	Do you hold grudges, resentment, regret, malice in your heart?

No

	Originally Posted by Oros Ull
	Do you get angry at the drop of a hat?

No, unless the person brings up a topic that was already discussed and cleared. If we've been there and done that, why bother again? The answers are going to be the same and I dislike repeating myself, especially when its bs that should be forgiven and forgotten.

	Originally Posted by Oros Ull
	Do you feel abused, abandoned or all around vengeful to those who have brought you pain?

Its not a question of whether I feel like that or not, but that's what it actually was; but I'm not vengeful towards them.

	Originally Posted by Oros Ull
	Have you grown tired and irritated of how senseless this world is?

I don't worry about things I can't change and that includes the world.

	Originally Posted by Oros Ull
	Have you come to hate yourself because of all this?

No

[Frosted]

	Originally Posted by sunitaishot To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Only mentally unhealthy people hate others.

Citation needed.

[SwedenF]

	Originally Posted by Oros Ull To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Do you hold grudges, resentment, regret, malice in your heart?

Not really, no. My rule of thumb is... did I get in to it? Then suck it up. Is someone intentionally trying to shit my day without any involvement from me? Well, if I react, not only am I giving them power over me, but I'm also helping them achieve their goal. Seems kind of silly and counter-productive.

	Do you get angry at the drop of a hat?

Well, sometimes? I call it being a woman.

	I would rather love unconditionally.

*pictures unicorns, rainbows, flower power and a whole lot of high people*
(Sorry, I mean no harm, but I couldn't resist it.)

[CanrHoldLimes]

I hate things pretty often, but I have a high threshold to put up with them. I guess I do hold a grudge though, I never forget how much I hate/hated it, and I'm out first chance I can get.

By the way, do INTJs generally tend to have anger problems?

[BobtheINTJ]

	By the way, do INTJs generally tend to have anger problems?

I hope not. I don't have time for hate. I'd like to think that INTJ's would be above hating - such a negative emotion. Wouldn't it make more sense to focus on happiness? Granted, there are terrible things that go on in the world, but in our day to day lives, why hate what happens at rush hour, or who did you wrong?

INTJ's are a small percentage of the population. We should use our gifts for doing good, not hating.

[spect]

Originally Posted by Oros Ull To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I used to be like that. Growing up my family was very abusive and it caused me to be angry for a long time. I would get into fights and do stupid reckless stuff just because I felt worthless and abandoned. But then as a teenager I witnessed how much pain there really is, I watched children die and families fall apart. Was witness to the war torn and the psychologically unstable. Conflict and vendetta were everywhere as people profited off one another’s pain. At first I found it amusing, it dawned on me that the whole world was in just as much pain as I was if not more, and it caused my malice to get the better of me. I figured if I couldn’t be happy then no one should be. But then I kept looking. I listened as the kids begged their parents to go home from the terminal children ward. I watched as families fell apart when their children came home from war broken and traumatized if at all. I was there when good people would fall prey to addiction and become shells of their former selves. I fought and pleaded with those who would take advantage of the weak for the sake of profit. I sat helplessly by while I watched the only women I ever loved suffer for years before being taken by illness. And eventually I realized it wasn’t worth it anymore. It occurred to me how fundamental pain, torture and suffering really are. Not just to man but all manner of beast and ent in this world and the next. And I can’t do it anymore, I can’t hate. I couldn’t allow myself to be so selfish. People wrong me all the time but all I ever see are tortured souls lashing out. I can’t hate them for that, if anything I want to help them. All I want when I see these things are to hold them and tell them it will be ok. But it never is, and I can’t do anything about it. Which is part of what makes it all so awe-inspiringly tragic and beautiful. I mean what good is hatred in such abundance, I would rather love unconditionally.

why did you hide all that? i think its one of the more telling and personally poignant posts i've read here, and its all very infj. although from the bolded part, from what you've been through there's a chance you are on the opposite end of coming out of it, havent fully established the right perspective in setting boundaries in the absence of previous blocks that indirectly served the same functions. you could slowly be moving towards an even balance between the two extremes... or at least i hope so.

infj's can be natural martyrs, finding deep meaning in giving themselves for a cause in the process of exercising internalized pain and depression of a very hard life. there's only so much you can do to benefit this world, and allowing continued mistreatment of yourself isnt admirable, making a positive difference in peoples lives is while living an example of a positive and self-healthy life.

and to answer your question - yes, i've been through all that myself from my own history of abuse. even now, i occasionally have the unhealthy tendency to subjugate myself in certain situations to exercise others angers and resentments in making a solid difference in improving social situations and peoples lives. but self-sacrifice doesnt mean much when its spent on those where a difference cant really be made, in those situations it often has an adverse effect of reinforcing their behavior towards others rather than helping them resolve it.

abuse often repeats us into similar patterns of subjugation, replacing one form with another. your attempts at forgiveness are also extroverted feelings of an infj that comes from your unconscious emotional needs rooted in intuition, i honestly believe with abused infj's... you are giving something outward thats needed inside of you and thats how its being expressed in your beliefs and behaviors. socially, as an evolutionary force i believe it ends up serving the same purpose in the end - where your attempts actually do make a positive difference and hence, leads to a better environment for yourself that ends up establishing that balance, but it does so externally through the environment and others rather than internally in yourself, definitely a powerfully extroverted emotional orientation being used as intended.

[nwfn]

There are very few people in the world who I hate, and I hate them for very specific reasons. For example, the doctor who murdered my sister in the womb with her negligence.

Most of the time I am able to deal with an unfair personal attack within a week or two and continue dealing positively with the person who dealt it. But I do not forgive or forget. Anyone who wounds me once is on the "do not trust fully" list forevermore. I have a semi-close friend who falls into that category. We still chat on a daily basis about unimportant matters and workplace gripes, but he humiliated me publicly once, and that forever removed him from the list of people I would ever allow myself to get close to.

[Booko]

	Originally Posted by Frosted To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Citation needed.

Gautama Buddha.

Possibly Socrates. Although I believe he referenced ignorance rather than mental illness.

[anticlimatic]

I hate exactly half.

[CanrHoldLimes]

Originally Posted by BobtheINTJ To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I hope not. I don't have time for hate. I'd like to think that INTJ's would be above hating - such a negative emotion. Wouldn't it make more sense to focus on happiness? Granted, there are terrible things that go on in the world, but in our day to day lives, why hate what happens at rush hour, or who did you wrong? INTJ's are a small percentage of the population. We should use our gifts for doing good, not hating.

Well I asked because when I remember being tested INTJ when I was a kid as well. Also as a kid, I remember getting extremely angry about stuff, like explosive angry, and very, very quickly. It was simple stuff, like people not respecting my privacy or people telling me to do something I didn't think made sense.
Basically I got angry about a lot of the things that I look at today and think, "wow, that's some bullshit" but don't necessarily react to, just internalize as bullshit.

Today I'm a pretty calm person, to the point that friends ask me if I ever get mad. Is that just me? I wonder if anger is something common in INTJ kids, or something that the INTJ simply grows out. Is the fact that we don't tend to show our emotions something that comes naturally or something we actually teach ourselves to suppress.
I clearly remember almost having an epiphany one day when I was 14 or so and saying, I hate how I feel after I blow up and I felt like other people have the upper hand when I showed my emotions.
At the same time though, because I started burying them in my late teens and as an adult I know when I DO get mad I get REALLY mad, like beyond mad.... so I was curious...

[Tactical Panda]

Hmm. For me holding onto hate is somewhat a choice of path.

I can get angry frequently if I am under stress and people seem to be doing needlessly stupid or inconsiderate things. But people aren't that differerent - usually if I hate someone else there doesn't tend to be a great divide between hating them and hating myself if I'm consistent and thoughtful about the standards.

Theres other reasons not to hate too.

[squarebox]

I hate 99% of the human species.