[Autumnleaf]

Can anyone else identify with this? I feel this way sometimes.

[ppu6502]

I like being alone.

[Tahiti]

I love being alone and have grown towards loving it. Knowingly having the option to do otherwise is comforting enough.

[plotthickens]

I adore being alone. Other people are ok sometimes.

[kari]

i love being alone as well, but its always nice to know you have someone you could hang out with if you wanted to, even if you never want to. when i dont have even that i feel really lonely and thats when being alone can be a pain. but the reason that frequently happens to me is because i have no one id really want to hang out with. so yes, i can relate.

[RBM]

Hahahaha

My relatively new employment has one co-worker who runs his mouth constantly - no exaggeration. I - and others - make polite references to this fact, occasionally.

At break time there is a table indoors and a table outdoors, primarily for smokers (I'm not, most everyone else is.)

This co-worker is totally flummoxed why I don't take break outside with 'everyone'. His questions have resulted in a couple others jumping on the bandwagon.

[Income]

Originally Posted by RBM To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Hahahaha My relatively new employment has one co-worker who runs his mouth constantly - no exaggeration. I - and others - make polite references to this fact, occasionally. At break time there is a table indoors and a table outdoors, primarily for smokers (I'm not, most everyone else is.) This co-worker is totally flummoxed why I don't take break outside with 'everyone'. His questions have resulted in a couple others jumping on the bandwagon.

Amusing. Did he make other people go outside on breaks because they heard the questions he asked you? I would never show that i value someone's opinion like they do, it gives that person more value, and the person might not deserve it. Maybe they aren't aware of it, or they are aware of it but afraid of being seen as outsiders. It could be that they see you as an outsider and don't want to be in the same category as you, to avoid being viewed as outsiders and/or to avoid feeling like an outsider. It could also be that they think it will show their affection to him in a good way, to score some points. Interesting scenario though.

[Haumea]

I like other people, just need a lot of alone time.

[MechanicalSun]

	Originally Posted by Autumnleaf To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Can anyone else identify with this? I feel this way sometimes.

I think you actually don't like anyone, including yourself.

[Bluesea]

	Originally Posted by Autumnleaf To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Can anyone else identify with this? I feel this way sometimes.

I like being alone and like people however at times where I can't decide between the two due to a need to withdraw to process something and work it through I am choosing to be alone but not necessarily wanting to be alone, but don't want to be with people either, as I need to work it through on my own. Time of being caught between two worlds is probably where I could identify with it. Having animals around helps at these times, if you have a pet, and knowing what it is about and doing something you need to do to work it through - even if that is time out and distracting yourself while you sit with it and allow it to simmer for a while before ready to fully process it.

Isolation as a form of coping can become a bad habit though and when someone is stuck with this well after the event and it is time to move forward and connect with people again this type of feeling could be the signal to take a risk and get back out there again - too much alone time is often signalled by the loneliness and tiredness of being only with oneself. The issues and reasons they isolated could still be there, however it is time to feel the fear and do it any way, so they can be aware of the double edged sword and be procrastinating over taking action when feeling this way.

However some people who might feel this way, can also have very little tolerance to doing any time on their own as they are more aware at these times, of what is going through their mind and how they are feeling, and they want to escape this awareness, as it is too painful. Often these thoughts and feelings relate to hurts or perceived hurts from others so it creates this double bind. Time to talk to someone about this, or learn to build a good relationship with oneself, so the person can enjoy their own company and manage the feelings and thoughts they are having, so they don't get too distressed by them, can help with the not liking being alone side of things. Working with someone on understanding relationships and how to manage the issues that come up in them can help with the other side.

[sircockburn]

Sounds like prison is your natural habitat then.

[CrudeHypothesis]

	I don't like people and I can't stand being alone.

First of all, define your terms. What do YOU mean when you say "don't like people", "can't stand" and "being alone".

I know what those mean to me, but I doubt we think of the exact same thing when we use those terms. If "don't like people" is in the same way as I "don't like TV" (find it boring, draining, mindless, utterly devoid of intellectual content, annoying, loud and distracting) then yes we mean the same thing. Does "can't stand" mean you fall to the floor, get tics, invert your cognitive functions, or start getting symptoms of stress? Does being alone count the voice in one's head, involve isolation or sensory deprivation?

Of course you're going to generate a thread from difference of opinion if you don't define your terms.

[Bluesea]

Originally Posted by CrudeHypothesis To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

First of all, define your terms. What do YOU mean when you say "don't like people", "can't stand" and "being alone". I know what those mean to me, but I doubt we think of the exact same thing when we use those terms. If "don't like people" is in the same way as I "don't like TV" (find it boring, draining, mindless, utterly devoid of intellectual content, annoying, loud and distracting) then yes we mean the same thing. Does "can't stand" mean you fall to the floor, get ticks, invert your cognitive functions, or start getting symptoms of stress? Does being alone count the voice in one's head, involve isolation or sensory deprivation? Of course you're going to generate a thread from difference of opinion if you don't define your terms.

I am not sure it needs that; the predominant question was quite open, and about whether anyone can at all relate to this experience - which is a subjective experience and can be open to however a person relates to it. We can all relate to it from our own interpretations and experiences, of anything like this, or say we have never ever had any kind of experience anything like this. Or can see how someone might even if we have not, to generate a stimulus for others to reflect on, for their own answers. All answers are ok I think, and the OP has left it open to generate diverse responses of an individual nature. Can't see what is wrong with that?

[qwee]

im the same way.

[CrudeHypothesis]

Originally Posted by Bluesea To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I am not sure it needs that; the predominant question was quite open, and about whether anyone can at all relate to this experience - which is a subjective experience and can be open to however a person relates to it. We can all relate to it from our own interpretations and experiences, of anything like this, or say we have never ever had any kind of experience anything like this. Or can see how someone might even if we have not, to generate a stimulus for others to reflect on, for their own answers. All answers are ok I think, and the OP has left it open to generate diverse responses of an individual nature. Can't see what is wrong with that?

Asking if someone can relate their subjective experience to ones own subjective experience. That's like asking someone to describe what they picture when one says dog, just to see how close it matches to ones own picture. How can that possibly be healpful other than collecting statistics, which is void due to the narrow biased sample (a forum full of INTJs and a thread full of responses by only those who were interested enough to post).

The whole idea of starting a thread just to see what others will say seems utterly absurd. That's like asking other people questions just to see what they will say, as opposed to doing research on a topic.

[Booko]

Oh, I like people well enough, so long as they don't imagine they need to "fix" me or run my life for me.

@CrudeHypothesis: Ticks are arachnids. Tics are sudden movements of some part of the body.

Normally I wouldn't say anything, but you had me confused for a moment thinking about Lyme disease.

[DesertKnight]

I'm with you, can't stand people at all (I'm aware of the generality of that statement, and it is meant to be general), but I do like having the option of hanging out with people I choose when I choose to do so. I'm also married so even if I wanted to be completely alone, which I do often want, I can't be which is sometimes frustratingly complicated.

[True Rune]

Eh, I love doing the non-social tasks at work.

[Bluesea]

Originally Posted by CrudeHypothesis To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Asking if someone can relate their subjective experience to ones own subjective experience. That's like asking someone to describe what they picture when one says dog, just to see how close it matches to ones own picture. How can that possibly be healpful other than collecting statistics, which is void due to the narrow biased sample (a forum full of INTJs and a thread full of responses by only those who were interested enough to post). The whole idea of starting a thread just to see what others will say seems utterly absurd. That's like asking other people questions just to see what they will say, as opposed to doing research on a topic.

Not sure I understand your dilemma. The forum is filled with situations that start out with - here is something I experience do others also experience it? And with INTJ having a healthy Ni the subjective element is often the focus of discussion.

I would be interested in the dog thread, it is a form of research to see how many dog variants might occur and be interesting to see if one generic dog image is in common for all or for different populations - i.e. men see more fighting and working dogs and women see more lap and pretty looking dogs etc.

I am not sure everyone here is posting for some global level of statistical accuracy to their questions. We come here knowing it is a narrow population of mostly INTJ's and further narrowed by people who choose to post. We are often interested by the commonality and variance of response to questions given that fact.

[BlSH0P]

its not that i dont like being alone, its that i hate the feeling that i have no friends.

I dont mind being by myself, i just dont like the idea that i have no social life

[Booko]

	Originally Posted by BlSH0P To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	its not that i dont like being alone, its that i hate the feeling that i have no friends.

Yeah, I have never been very fond of that either. For the most part I had at least one person I could consider a good friend, but there were some times when I was still living with my parents it slipped to zero.

[CrudeHypothesis]

	Originally Posted by Booko To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	@CrudeHypothesis: Ticks are arachnids. Tics are sudden movements of some part of the body. Normally I wouldn't say anything, but you had me confused for a moment thinking about Lyme disease.

All fixed now :3

	Originally Posted by Bluesea To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Not sure I understand your dilemma. The forum is filled with situations that start out with - here is something I experience do others also experience it? And with INTJ having a healthy Ni the subjective element is often the focus of discussion.

I think I understand my dilemma now. Speaking of dilemma, this describes the thread:


To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


It uses intimacy, but the same can apply for human contact. But yea, I can't shake the feeling that threads are a waste of time, and that I can figure everything out myself faster by reading. See, I knew of the Hedgehog'd dilemma a decade ago because I researched it and someone already gave a name, description and analysis on the phenomenon. That's my point.

	Originally Posted by Bluesea To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I would be interested in the dog thread, it is a form of research to see how many dog variants might occur and be interesting to see if one generic dog image is in common for all or for different populations - i.e. men see more fighting and working dogs and women see more lap and pretty looking dogs etc.

You can't be serious. Ok, it may be a good Gedankenexperiment. I'll start it.

[Bluesea]

Originally Posted by CrudeHypothesis To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

All fixed now :3 I think I understand my dilemma now. Speaking of dilemma, this describes the thread: To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. It uses intimacy, but the same can apply for human contact. But yea, I can't shake the feeling that threads are a waste of time, and that I can figure everything out myself faster by reading. See, I knew of the Hedgehog'd dilemma a decade ago because I researched it and someone already gave a name, description and analysis on the phenomenon. That's my point. You can't be serious. Ok, it may be a good Gedankenexperiment. I'll start it.

That is really interesting about the Hedgehog's Dilemma, had not heard of that metaphor before. Not sure the "substantial' is helpful but is a good analogy about the inevitability of discomfort at times within relationships and like the final statement about consideration to others due to this.

I was a bit tongue in cheek about the dog one but it could be interesting to see what emerges - maybe it would be like a giant inkblot experiment and no patterns exist however also maybe not too. Perhaps a demographics poll with it could allow you to do an ANOVA on the data and like the picture association thread people could post an actual picture of the type of dog they were imagining so you could classify them?

[CrudeHypothesis]

Originally Posted by Bluesea To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

That is really interesting about the Hedgehog's Dilemma, had not heard of that metaphor before. Not sure the "substantial' is helpful but is a good analogy about the inevitability of discomfort at times within relationships and like the final statement about consideration to others due to this. I was a bit tongue in cheek about the dog one but it could be interesting to see what emerges - maybe it would be like a giant inkblot experiment and no patterns exist however also maybe not too. Perhaps a demographics poll with it could allow you to do an ANOVA on the data and like the picture association thread people could post an actual picture of the type of dog they were imagining so you could classify them?

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[dvdhrns]

I like people. I would just prefer to read about them or see them in a movie or something. Owning a ranch in Montana has long been a dream of mine. Lot's of space...