[ENIT]

	Originally Posted by krisl To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I also think you might not have met the right person yet.

As I said, I don't discount the possibility, but I'm 24 and I've never had a relationship (if you can even call it that) that lasted for more than a month, despite having no problems with long-term friendships.

I, personally, think that's indicative of something unusual.

[justmee]

	Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I, personally, think that's indicative of something unusual.

If you really are indifferent about it, then who cares if it's unusual? Why conform just because you are expected to want a relationship? I don't see anything wrong with being single, if you choose to be single.

I admit there are certain aspects of a relationship I'd like, but most of the time it doesn't seem worth it. The way I see it...if I meet the right person and it works out, great. If not, so be it. I'm not going to settle...you shouldn't either.

[Anarkos]

Quite honestly, I'm the same way. I've never found anyone interesting enough to be in a relationship with, which probably reflects poorly on my ability to adapt to societal norms.

[ENIT]

	Originally Posted by justmee To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If you really are indifferent about it, then who cares if it's unusual? Why conform just because you are expected to want a relationship? I don't see anything wrong with being single, if you choose to be single.

It's not that I'm worried or upset about it, but it is something I find curious. I'm a very even-keeled kind of person. I don't have "sparks" or "chemistry" with people in the way others describe it. I was discussing this with a friend and she related the concept of "you just can't be around the other person enough".

I've never felt this with anyone. I spent like seven hours with this girl I'm dating the other day, but I was very ready to be by myself after that and I was somewhat annoyed at getting several text messages the next day.

So while I don't feel like I'm missing anything, I sometimes wonder if I am.

[zibber]

If you don't have a problem, you don't have a problem.

Just don't stifle spontaneity with all of this thinking.

[ENIT]

	Originally Posted by zibber To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If you don't have a problem, you don't have a problem. Just don't stifle spontaneity with all of this thinking.

Spontaneity related to what?

[sergi0]

No it isn't in my opinion, you will be interested if the right person comes along. Don't worry.

[zibber]

	Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Spontaneity related to what?

Being and doing.

[mieu]

IMHO, it's only immature if you can't understand why people would want to be in a relationship. Doesn't sound like you don't appreciate what a relationship can offer someone, it just doesn't interest you currently.

[Nickator]

Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I'm now 24 and I'm no more inclined to be in a relationship now than when I was 17. I started dating a girl in the last few weeks (for the first time in a long time) and was trying to see myself doing the "standard" relationship stuff, but I've concluded that it just doesn't interest me. I like doing stuff with her, but after we do something together, I just want her to go away for a few days. She's fun, but I'm not enamored with her. I've never been enamored with anyone, honestly. Regular sex would be nice, but (sacrilege!) it's not a good enough incentive to be obligated to someone in that way. I like having friends, both male and female. I like spending time with them, I like talking to them, I like doing things together. But most of all, I like being able to NOT do those things when I don't want to without any hurt feelings. Is this bad of me? Does it demonstrate a lack of wisdom or maturity on my part?

I am a bit younger, but I feel the exact same way. I have a real lack of emotions toward anyone, friends and family as well as women.

The lack of feeling bothers me slightly because I know it's different from most people's experience. I vastly prefer to just be friends with everyone, for exactly the same reasons you stated. (I like to be able to do stuff with them, but also pull back).

I don't think anyone can be faulted for who they inherently are, just realize it might have some side effects as people might view you strangely.

[idoj]

Yes it is wrong to not trust that you connect w/someone on an intimate level and that they will allow you to still have seperation from them...
It's wrong to not love so completely that you don't trust...

[ValentinePirate]

I don't think it's something you need to worry about. If you were in any distress over it it'd be a different story. Relationships only work with willing participants. If you don't want to be there, then don't.

Regular sex is awesome though. I'll admit that much. If you develop romantic or committal feelings for someone you get to know, worry about the relationship stuff then

[Toktyn]

This is really interesting to me, because I'm in a similar-yet-different scenario. Through high school and college I had quite a few intimate relationships, one girl I even fell in love with, but I ultimately left all of them and couldn't be happier for it. Like you, I've found myself to be uninterested in that level of attachment. I can fake it for a while, but I can't keep it up. It isn't who I am.

Everyone has a preference for their own lifestyle, and sometimes that can become confusing when it conflicts with the culture in which we were raised. Being uninterested in relationships is totally cool, because it's just a personal choice. People should respect that about you just as they respect any of your other unique quirks that make you you.
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[Naiha]

Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I'm now 24 and I'm no more inclined to be in a relationship now than when I was 17. I started dating a girl in the last few weeks (for the first time in a long time) and was trying to see myself doing the "standard" relationship stuff, but I've concluded that it just doesn't interest me. I like doing stuff with her, but after we do something together, I just want her to go away for a few days. She's fun, but I'm not enamored with her. I've never been enamored with anyone, honestly. Regular sex would be nice, but (sacrilege!) it's not a good enough incentive to be obligated to someone in that way. I like having friends, both male and female. I like spending time with them, I like talking to them, I like doing things together. But most of all, I like being able to NOT do those things when I don't want to without any hurt feelings. Is this bad of me? Does it demonstrate a lack of wisdom or maturity on my part?

No. In fact, by my opinion it demonstrates your individuality and maturity to be able to admit this when society seems to demand a lifestyle of "standard relationship stuff" and marriage.
This kind of stuff does not interest me, as well. I am a 19 year old female. I detest obligations more than I want sex (which I do want). I can relate so well to your post, so thank you for posting. It is nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way. I too like having the option of not seeing friends without hurting their feelings, whereas in standard relationships it seems I am expected to "make time" for the other person.
This is not bad of you at all!
In fact, I know a male who is in his fifties, had been married when he was younger, but simply decided that this was not for him. I am not a close friend to him, obviously, but I know this person well enough to tell that he is very content with his life and being single. Him, you, and I all share very similar feelings...

[Booko]

	Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Absolute right. But without making any definitive claims, 24 is pretty late in the game for no one to have ever even been in the ballpark. I'm sure older people will smile patronizingly at me for that, but I think there's some truth to it.

I'm older, but I won't smile patronizingly at you for that, because our son is 23 next month and has hasn't been either.

There was one person at school he was interested in, but she was already taken. And as our son's mom I was pretty glad that was so. I didn't think the woman's attitudes to relationships was anything that would work for our son anyway. Too flaky by half.

Apparently he does think in terms of marriage and eventual family, but he's pretty now and he'll get around to it when he does.

[zibber]

Don't let anyone tell you what constitutes maturity.

[reckful]

Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I'm now 24 and I'm no more inclined to be in a relationship now than when I was 17. I started dating a girl in the last few weeks (for the first time in a long time) and was trying to see myself doing the "standard" relationship stuff, but I've concluded that it just doesn't interest me. I like doing stuff with her, but after we do something together, I just want her to go away for a few days. She's fun, but I'm not enamored with her. I've never been enamored with anyone, honestly. Regular sex would be nice, but (sacrilege!) it's not a good enough incentive to be obligated to someone in that way. I like having friends, both male and female. I like spending time with them, I like talking to them, I like doing things together. But most of all, I like being able to NOT do those things when I don't want to without any hurt feelings. Is this bad of me? Does it demonstrate a lack of wisdom or maturity on my part?

Your attitude toward relationships (with people you're not in love with) sounds very similar to mine, and I don't think there's anything immature about it. I'd say it's normal-range INT (in particular).

The main difference between you and me is that I've fallen in love a few times. But I'm currently contentedly single. I think INTs are probably more likely to be contentedly single than any of the other types — which is not to say they can't also be contentedly partnered. If I had to bet, I'd bet you'll fall in love at least once before you're 30.

[ZeroRequiem]

I like things simple so I'll be short.
You don't have to follow the standard that everyone else has set. If you're not ready or don't want to then don't. Its your life so live it the way you want it.

[thecase]

Originally Posted by ENIT To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I'm now 24 and I'm no more inclined to be in a relationship now than when I was 17. I started dating a girl in the last few weeks (for the first time in a long time) and was trying to see myself doing the "standard" relationship stuff, but I've concluded that it just doesn't interest me. I like doing stuff with her, but after we do something together, I just want her to go away for a few days. She's fun, but I'm not enamored with her. I've never been enamored with anyone, honestly. Regular sex would be nice, but (sacrilege!) it's not a good enough incentive to be obligated to someone in that way. I like having friends, both male and female. I like spending time with them, I like talking to them, I like doing things together. But most of all, I like being able to NOT do those things when I don't want to without any hurt feelings. Is this bad of me? Does it demonstrate a lack of wisdom or maturity on my part?

I'm not sure if it demonstrates a lack of maturity. You are at least aware of it, which inclines me to think, you may have a change of heart.

If you are honestly happy, and driven by other aspects of life, then keep doing what you're doing!

That being said, I do find a type of maturity in INTJ that while mastering their own mind, are open enough to take the next step and share their brains? hearts?.. shall I go there. s..o..u.. nahhh, with another person. There is always an aspect of selflessness involved in a (good) relationship, and I guess that is one aspect of maturity.

[DesertKnight]

I agree with the above poster here. Good relationships will undoubtedly require some self-sacrifice on both sides, and being able to do that in an objective manner requires a level of self-awareness I think a lot of people often don't have .

I've been married to my wife for seven years now (no great feat I suppose) and I've had to sacrifice much of myself for this relationship to work; however I do this only because I care enough about her to do so, if I didn't care or stopped caring I would leave. So yea, if you never find someone who you care enough for to do that, then its no big deal. Would only be a problem if you made it one.

[Saggita]

I don't think so... Have you ever heard of something called aromanticism? This is when you don't feel romantic attraction towards people. I would classify myself as an aromantic because I really... Don't do dates, and I really understand your train of thought.

You don't have to push yourself to do it if you don't want, which doesn't mean you can't have friends or a functioning life. I don't see why I should bother -- I don't see why you should either.

[jawa]

I think it demonstrates you not being super needy as most people are. I enjoy the company of others as well, but I am such a low-maintenance person that there is often great clashing with others. I want to hang out with someone maybe once or twice a week tops, but in order to be a friend to many people you have to talk daily and such. So all that happens is I have temporary friends that forget me and I them after not seeing each other much.

This is not immaturity, it's just not extroversion.

[doritogasm]

I can relate to your post very well. I'm a 19 year old female INTJ and haven't had a relationship longer than 3 months, but I've had friendships for years. I'm aromantic and asexual, so I guess that explains it. I detest cuddling and holding hands.

[Cozzine]

	Originally Posted by mieu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	IMHO, it's only immature if you can't understand why people would want to be in a relationship. Doesn't sound like you don't appreciate what a relationship can offer someone, it just doesn't interest you currently.

I often wonder why people want to be in a relationship. How would this make me immature? I look at the logic of it to come to a conclusion.
What logic?

1. Look at the divorce rates. They are staggering to look at.
2. Relationships often amount in emotional turmoil and drama. I myself don't deal well with emotional turmoil and drama.
3. The work you put in can be lost due to breakup. Unlike my own development, relationships are fickle things that can be destroyed because of an unstable source of mistaken reliance: Emotions.

Why do people want to be in a relationship? Emotionally satisfying? Is that really necessary. Because it is better to have loved than to not have loved at all? I call BS on that (that is just a phrase people use to justify why you should date; social pressure).

To the OP, I've never had a relationship, nor do I really care to get involved in one. I can relate to you.

[PetarI]

if you ask me i would read the Kundera book Selene recommended it is very hard to find in the ex yu countries and to get a translated copy handed on a silver platter is just dumb luck. Than decide what is important for you. Immature, normal and other descriptions are not important.