View Poll Results: Which profile is better?
The first one, by a large margin 0 0%
The first one, by a small margin 4 36.36%
The second one, by a small margin 3 27.27%
The second one, by a large margin 4 36.36%
Voters: 11. You may not vote on this poll

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INTJf Personals and Profiles dating, online dating
Old 05-02-2012, 08:39 PM   #726
Storm
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  Originally Posted by Hawkx
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I expanded it. I just hope it's not completely nerdy now...

It's better, but still a bit elementary. Don't worry, writing is hard and a lot of people have difficulty with it. The writers for Toy Story rewrote the ending upwards of 60 times. So, don't get frustrated if it takes you more than 2 rewrites to get it right.

Your writing is boring because you write a general sentence, then a list of examples.

I love to eat out. I love chicken wings and subs.

I like to play sports. I enjoy soccer and football.
Do you see how formulaic that is? Anyone could have written it. You might try telling a story, like so:
I love to attend plays. Just recently I went to see Shakespeare's King Henry V, which I love for the Saint Crispin's speech. Came out of that place ready to fight for freedom!
even that I think could use some sprucing up and rewrites, but you get the idea.
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Old 05-02-2012, 08:40 PM   #727
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  Originally Posted by Zephyranthes
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I was under the assumption the OP was not a female. I would also not make the assumption that a profile suitable to attract men is going to be identical to one that attracts women.

I'm from central Florida. I would have trouble with the idea that your location affects how you should approach women, that women from area X are more open to... whatever, then they are from area Y. Casual, light, amusing or funny profile, no pressure. Isn't dating about having fun?

Eh, I made cases for female and male, so I don't what you are talking about. Why would you assume a profile that would attract men would attract women? Have you ever

Also, we are not talking about dating. We are talking about a dating site profile. One uses dating websites to presumably find a date. If you are doing the singles scene, do you dress like a slob? No. You primp to a certain degree and dress up. By living in NYC as opposed to Central florida, Hawk has to compete against many more men than you would have to. Yes, it is subjective due to taste, but it's also a numbers game. Your assumption that people want something brief might have merit on one day and it might be shit on the next. If his profile isn't working, which is why I assume he came to us to ask for help, he should change it. It's just like dating. Some strategy is needed.

The guy has a profile that basically ensures his never being contacted any women and says stay away to anyone he wishes to pursue. Cutting out a "You should contact me if..." really isn't going to help this guy much. It can only really help his situation. Maybe he might find another aspie to hang with. If that's what he wants, maybe you are right, his profile might be ok, but he still should leave in the "You should contact me if..." to let the aspies know what's up.

---------- Post added 05-02-2012 at 07:44 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by EdR
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Who are you kidding?

Your profile tells me that you know nothing of the city. I'm guessing you are a freshman. If I'm wrong you have never been 10' from NYU and couldn't find the Village if you tried.

NY'ers call it Manhatten or the city. The boroughs are called Brooklyn, Queens, Da Bronx and some will add Staten Island (if they live there).

No resident calls it New York City, or types NYC. The school name is another problem, I do not think I ever heard anyone call it or see it in print referred to as New York University. It is NYU, and only NYU! I do not understand at all how you could refer to it as New York University.

Add in your claim that "shun away" is
Code:
a nyc-er thing
, which it isn't by the way, and I am uneasy about this. Very uneasy.

By the way, it would also be called a NY term. The people are NY'ers. nyc?????

Nyc-er/ny'er...potato/potato. It's an abbreviation for a place full of yankees, so it's no big thing.

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Old 05-02-2012, 09:26 PM   #728
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^ Subgenius

When you live in Rome, the primary focus of your on-line profile is to interest other Romans.

Admittedly, writing your profile so that you appear to be a tourist trying to pass as a native does have a slightly better probability of receiving a response than claiming to be an illegal immigrant living underneath a railroad bridge. On the other hand, there might even be one or two additional options to improve your chances of a favorable response.
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:38 PM   #729
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^ edr.

When in Rome to find a fuckparty, do whatever you can do to get into the fuckparty. Not necessarily what the Romans do. And honestly, why would someone want to go to Rome for a fuckparty? It's like ground zero for gonorrhea. Now Oslo or Stockholm or Copenhagen, yeah buddy.
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Old 05-03-2012, 12:10 PM   #730
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Now Oslo or Stockholm or Copenhagen, yeah buddy.

I've been told that STD rates in Sweden and Denmark are pretty high. Was I misinformed?

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Old 05-03-2012, 12:48 PM   #731
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  Originally Posted by Subgenius
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Also, we are not talking about dating. We are talking about a dating site profile.

Pretty sure you're going to be doing dating on a dating site, how are the two not basically the same? If you can approach and attract a woman in real life, you can likely do it on the internet just as easily.

 
One uses dating websites to presumably find a date. If you are doing the singles scene, do you dress like a slob? No. You primp to a certain degree and dress up. By living in NYC as opposed to Central florida, Hawk has to compete against many more men than you would have to. Yes, it is subjective due to taste, but it's also a numbers game. Your assumption that people want something brief might have merit on one day and it might be shit on the next. If his profile isn't working, which is why I assume he came to us to ask for help, he should change it. It's just like dating. Some strategy is needed.

Yeah, and how do you initiate on women in real life, by wearing a tshirt with your life history written across it? Dating sites somehow lead to the idea that the more information you plaster across your profile, the HIGHER your chance of getting a date becomes. If you approach a woman anywhere else, you know what she knows about you? Nothing except how you look, and within about 10 seconds she knows if she'd go out with you or not, almost before you even open your mouth, though communication and confidence while speaking can influence her interest in you. If she knows that quick, why do I need to tell her anything more to get a date? I could write anything under the sun anyways, true or not, and humor can be difficult since text has little in the way of indicating tone. You leave her nothing to discover about you if she can read everything about you before she even replies back, boring much?

 
The guy has a profile that basically ensures his never being contacted any women and says stay away to anyone he wishes to pursue. Cutting out a "You should contact me if..." really isn't going to help this guy much. It can only really help his situation.

Guys don't get much first messages from women anyways, it's very very leaning in the opposite direction. Some girls get so much attention they likely don't have time to even send out messages unless they hire a secretary to sort through messages. :P

 
Maybe he might find another aspie to hang with. If that's what he wants, maybe you are right, his profile might be ok, but he still should leave in the "You should contact me if..." to let the aspies know what's up.

The aspie part is probably somewhat of a special case, meaning I should probably give up on this discussion.

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Old 05-03-2012, 10:30 PM   #732
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  Originally Posted by Zephyranthes
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Pretty sure you're going to be doing dating on a dating site, how are the two not basically the same? If you can approach and attract a woman in real life, you can likely do it on the internet just as easily.

Yes I can approach women in real life thank you very much.


 
Guys don't get much first messages from women anyways, it's very very leaning in the opposite direction. Some girls get so much attention they likely don't have time to even send out messages unless they hire a secretary to sort through messages. :P

That's great and all but I dont have time for girls like that.

 
The aspie part is probably somewhat of a special case, meaning I should probably give up on this discussion.

I was misdiagnosed with aspergers. I found a better explanation
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. If you want some type of proof of whether or not I'm an aspie. I never happened to have a "meltdown", and I'm mostly cool tempered.

Plus yes I am an illegal immigrant who happens to live under a bridge. I find it humorous because I have more than one property in Europe yet someone's bringing this insane idea up.
If you want to know more about my life, because apparently it interests some of you. I have been educated in Europe for serveral years.

Now that everything is wrapped up I have New York University (I would love you to argue how I'm not a "real" New Yorker for saying New York University rather than NYU) finals to deal with which is much more important than this nonsense. I would also prefer all of those who hyper analyze, and correct every little thing, to look into the possibility of getting diagnosed with autism. Plus I don't give a rats behind the correct way to say "the" city, NY'ers, New York City, NYC-er. Now get back on topic, or would you prefer to talk about which European country has the best orgy parties?

Note: Edr you don't even live in New York *State*. How can you judge what's correct?

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Old 05-03-2012, 10:35 PM   #733
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  Originally Posted by Haumea
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I've been told that STD rates in Sweden and Denmark are pretty high. Was I misinformed?

I don't know. I was just being ethnocentric towards swarthy broads.

---------- Post added 05-03-2012 at 10:30 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by Zephyranthes
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Pretty sure you're going to be doing dating on a dating site, how are the two not basically the same? If you can approach and attract a woman in real life, you can likely do it on the internet just as easily.

No, it is not like dating at all, in my opinion. It's basically similar to the small chat in a library/supermarket/ in a bar that gets you a date. Only the filtering mechanism for either party is quite a bit more involved than the "Yes, here's my number" or "Fuck off, creep/weird skank" distinction. It ismore similar to chatting someone up in class where you hold back because you don't want to have the class go tits up because you/she fuck something up.

  Originally Posted by Zephyranthes
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Yeah, and how do you initiate on women in real life, by wearing a tshirt with your life history written across it? Dating sites somehow lead to the idea that the more information you plaster across your profile, the HIGHER your chance of getting a date becomes. If you approach a woman anywhere else, you know what she knows about you? Nothing except how you look, and within about 10 seconds she knows if she'd go out with you or not, almost before you even open your mouth, though communication and confidence while speaking can influence her interest in you. If she knows that quick, why do I need to tell her anything more to get a date? I could write anything under the sun anyways, true or not, and humor can be difficult since text has little in the way of indicating tone. You leave her nothing to discover about you if she can read everything about you before she even replies back, boring much?

Yeah, I am not advocating writing the bible, nor writing your life story. I said that in one of my first couple of posts. I also think your minimalism approach is flawed, from my own experience. Might have worked where you are, but for me, no such luck. I had periods of time where I got contacted multiple times daily. I also had more periods, however, where nothing happened. With that, I believe you do need a certain amount of information on there to make sure interests mesh when they contact you or screen you when you contact them. It's not just the pic. People do read the profiles. This guy just doesn't have that much information. The info he did have basically was concentrated nerdiness. He needs to dilute it.

As for making decisions about a person in 10 seconds, maybe-maybe not. It all depends. I've had instances with women where that is most definitely true. I've had instances where, unless it's some long ass plan they concocted during that first 10 seconds, it didn't seem to be true. I know that's how it works for me.

  Originally Posted by Zephyranthes
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Guys don't get much first messages from women anyways, it's very very leaning in the opposite direction. Some girls get so much attention they likely don't have time to even send out messages unless they hire a secretary to sort through messages. :P

I used to get quite a few message back in my time on OKC, so I disagree. A lot of it was profile based, sometimes it was pic based. OKC was probably better for me than my frat, minus the fucking. Definitely dated more from OKC.

  Originally Posted by Zephyranthes
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The aspie part is probably somewhat of a special case, meaning I should probably give up on this discussion.

alrighty.

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Old 05-04-2012, 02:22 AM   #734
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--------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
Ok ignoring everything before this line here is what I have


My self-summary
Hello there!
I live on an isolated Island called Staten Island, but I set sail using the ferry towards Manhattan--the trip to Manhattan is a story of itself. I'll try to give it shot--clear his throat. Its rough environment offers difficulties even the most experienced travelers can not overcome. Once trampled upon by waves of tourists at the terminal. You then endure the fight to get on board only to find that you are left to stand for 40 minutes.

I love Manhattan and my favorite place is Washington Square. Plus, I go there frequently since my university is located there. You'll find me studying a lot, but when I'm not I love to socialize. After all its the city that never sleeps!
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New York City isn't the only city that I've lived in. I've also experienced the romantic culture of Istanbul, Turkey. I would love to experience such a culture in New York
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.

Perhaps the most popular thing is to grab a cup of coffee from Starbucks. There's always room for one more...

What Iím doing with my life
I'm currently another depressed NYU student
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. I'm majoring in bio-molecular engineering and I'm aspiring to become a medical doctor. I shadowed one of my fathers friend who happens to be a gastroenterologist. I felt great sense of pride on that day because I saw how a doctor makes a different. Not to mention the surprise disimpaction :S...which I found out the hard way.

Iím really good at
I'm really good at what I do which is bio-molecular science. However, I still have a great deal of passion towards the arts and theaters.

The first things people usually notice about me
My twitching eye. I'm just kidding.
People notice that I love to dress fancy(*Spoiler Alert* fancy not in a weird way like the Tisch students), but who doesn't? After all, It's an essential part to attract others.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Shows: Greys Anatomy, House, The Big Bang Theory, Fringe, X-Files, Bones

Movies: Interception, V for Vendetta(2005)

Books: The Road, The Next Fifty Years, anything by Stephen Hawking and Dan Brown

Favorite Word: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (my all time favorite!)

The six things I could never do without (Should I write what I have?)
The opposite sex. Yep, I only have one thing that I can't do without.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm thinking about.

On a typical Friday night I am
Relaxing at home or going out with friends after a hard week.
Of course we could always make our own typical "Friday" night
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...

The most private thing Iím willing to admit
I'll save it for later.

Iím looking for

Straight girls only
Ages 18Ė22
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

You should message me if
You should message me if......well why not.
You shouldn't message me if you want a stripper.
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Old 05-04-2012, 03:07 AM   #735
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  Originally Posted by Hawkx
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[HIDE="latest profile"]--------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
Ok ignoring everything before this line here is what I have


My self-summary
Hello there!
I live on an isolated Island called Staten Island, but I set sail using the ferry towards Manhattan--the trip to Manhattan is a story of itself. I love Manhattan and my favorite place is Washington Square. Plus, I go there frequently since my university is located there. You'll find me studying a lot, but when I'm not I love to socialize. After all its the city that never sleeps!
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New York City isn't the only city that I've lived in. I've also experienced the romantic culture of Istanbul, Turkey. I would love to experience such a culture in New York
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.
Sounds creepy and impossible since NYC is so diverse. Unless you are just looking for Turks, then it's ambiguous.
Perhaps the most popular thing to do is to get coffee from Starbucks. There's always room for one more... Creepy again

What Iím doing with my life
I'm currently another depressed NYU student
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. I'm majoring in bio-molecular engineering and I'm aspiring to become a doctor.(No real need to state that when you go into detail later) I shadowed one of my fathers friend who happens to be a gastroenterologist. I felt great sense of pride on that day because I saw how a doctor makes a difference. Not to mention the surprise disimpaction :S...which I found out about the hard way.

Iím really good at
I'm really good at what I do, which is bio-molecular science. However, I still have a great deal of passion towards the arts and theaters.( do you act? help out with crew? or are you just good at watching? Also should be for not towards.

The first things people usually notice about me
My twitching eye. I'm just kidding.
People notice that I love to dress fancy(*Spoiler Alert* fancy not in a weird way like the Tisch students), but who doesn't? After all, It's an essential part to attract others.
super creepy. (Don't use the metalanguage we use to talk about your profile in your thread.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Shows: Greys Anatomy, House, The Big Bang Theory, Fringe, X-Files, Bones

Movies: Interception, V for Vendetta(2005)

Books: The Road, The Next Fifty Years, anything by Stephen Hawking and Dan Brown

Favorite Word: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (my all time favorite!)

The six things I could never do without (Should I write what I have?)
The opposite sex. Yep, I only have one thing that I can't do without. (Creepy, but could be good. Have a couple lists of 6 ready to go.)

I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm thinking about. (Good, might want to have another couple handy. The minimalist thing probably won't work for you, but if you want to try it, it's no skin off my ass. Take my advice, and have some more lengthy stuff ready to go if you don't get hits in the amount of time you feel is tolerable.)

On a typical Friday night I am
Relaxing at home or going out with friends after a hard week.
Of course we could always make our own typical "Friday" night
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...
Creepy, and you are using the emoticons too much. Are you a German 20 year old male or a 14 year old American girl? It's super creepy.)

The most private thing Iím willing to admit
I'll save it for later. (probably pretty good. A lot of folks don't really like this one and do answer with something like that or "it's private for a reason sucka" or some shit like that, but this is probably one of the areas where you can admit some inane shit. Try to keep away from the creepy shit.)

Iím looking for

Straight girls only
Ages 18Ė22
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

You should message me if
You should message me if......well why not.
You shouldn't message me if you want a stripper.[/HIDE]

(is someone feeding you the wrong stuff to say? You went from Sheldon to the masturbating subway bum in couple of tries. Cut that out quickly.)

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Old 05-04-2012, 03:10 AM   #736
Hawkx
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  Originally Posted by Subgenius
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(is someone feeding you the wrong stuff to say? You went from Sheldon to the masturbating subway bum in couple of tries. Cut that out quickly.)

Well everyone said to try something with a bit of sex appeal and with some stories
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. Hope its ok...

My picture has been getting a lot of hits from girls--up to like 15. I still have not received a message.

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Old 05-04-2012, 11:21 AM   #737
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  Originally Posted by Hawkx
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Now that everything is wrapped up I have New York University (I would love you to argue how I'm not a "real" New Yorker for saying New York University rather than NYU) finals to deal with which is much more important than this nonsense. I would also prefer all of those who hyper analyze, and correct every little thing, to look into the possibility of getting diagnosed with autism. Plus I don't give a rats behind the correct way to say "the" city, NY'ers, New York City, NYC-er. Now get back on topic, or would you prefer to talk about which European country has the best orgy parties?

Note: Edr you don't even live in New York *State*. How can you judge what's correct?

Your ad makes you sound like a tourist. I've spent a ton of time in NYC for work, and you don't sound like a local. The locals will pick up on this, and they are quite insular, so you might as well save yourself the trouble and acknowledge that you're from elsewhere, which will explain everything for them. If you're European and/or have studied in Europe, there's some status attached to that for many Americans, so you should sell it. It also will explain your occasional awkwardness with English, and they will be more forgiving.

As far as the current state of the ad, it needs an injection of humor, mirth, passion, and flirtatiousness. You sound like a dull boy.

Don't go there...dating in NYC is highly competitive and women/men have many more choices than elsewhere.

Are you Turkish? If so, you need to be aware that middle eastern/west Asian men (i.e., Turkish) tend to have the most difficulty in dating in NY. For that reason, your ad needs to be even more polished.


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<---consider some suggestions from this.

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Old 05-04-2012, 11:34 AM   #738
Storm
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I think it's a lot better. I like your introduction a lot. I would take out some of the sexual innuendos. The coffee thing is cute, the "Friday" night with the smilie face and the "After all, It's an essential part to attract others." is a bit too strong for talking to strangers. Think about it this way - you'd ask a girl for coffee after meeting her, but would you ask her to make a new "Friday" night tradition with you? Probably not.

Are you actually from Germany? If so, a bit of grammar mistakes are fine as long as you mention that you are from Germany in your profile. That will also add a bit of allure. If you are a native English speaker, fix that grammar! Otherwise people will assume you're just a poor writer/dumb.
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Old 05-04-2012, 12:13 PM   #739
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(your 'revised' edition) Too many "I", "me", "my" words (38)!!!
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Suggestion: make an effort to rephrase expressions to reduce the sheer volume of times the reader encounters the word "I", "me" and "my".

A few are fine. An army of them, tends to grate on the readers' sensibilities.
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Old 05-04-2012, 01:15 PM   #740
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  Originally Posted by catzmeow
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As far as the current state of the ad, it needs an injection of humor, mirth, passion, and flirtatiousness. You sound like a dull boy.

Ill try.

 
Are you Turkish? If so, you need to be aware that middle eastern/west Asian men (i.e., Turkish) tend to have the most difficulty in dating in NY. For that reason, your ad needs to be even more polished.

Nope, I'm mostly of eastern/central european descent- Greek, Austria/German, Italian, Albanian. Turkey used to have more Europeans.

 

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<---consider some suggestions from this.

Okay, I'm a bit hesitant since I prefer not to copy but Ill use some aspects of it.

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Old 05-04-2012, 01:21 PM   #741
thecase
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The main thing I look for in a profile is ambiguity, nuance, and a sense of humor this is the opposite of that.

- an intj female.
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Old 05-04-2012, 01:26 PM   #742
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  Originally Posted by Storm
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I think it's a lot better. I like your introduction a lot. I would take out some of the sexual innuendos. The coffee thing is cute, the "Friday" night with the smilie face and the "After all, It's an essential part to attract others." is a bit too strong for talking to strangers. Think about it this way - you'd ask a girl for coffee after meeting her, but would you ask her to make a new "Friday" night tradition with you? Probably not.

Took out the Friday and rephrased after all it's essential... to After all, It's an essential part to represent yourself to others.

 
Are you actually from Germany? If so, a bit of grammar mistakes are fine as long as you mention that you are from Germany in your profile. That will also add a bit of allure. If you are a native English speaker, fix that grammar!

Not a native English speaker but I don't have an accent.

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Old 05-04-2012, 02:06 PM   #743
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I didn't get a chance to see Interception. What is that, a football movie?
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Old 05-04-2012, 02:40 PM   #744
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  Originally Posted by zibber
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I didn't get a chance to see Interception. What is that, a football movie?

Yep, interception football with perception difficulties.

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Old 05-04-2012, 02:48 PM   #745
Subgenius
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  Originally Posted by Hawkx
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Took out the Friday and rephrased after all it's essential... to After all, It's an essential part to represent yourself to others.



Not a native English speaker but I don't have an accent.

---------- Post added 05-04-2012 at 01:30 PM ----------



Yes I'm pretty sure I'm an INTJ. Just really inexperienced socially.

I'm the least bit sensorish truthfully. Being an N dosent automatically make you witty and clever by the way. I have S friends who happen to be very humorous.

Don't forget that communicating in real life is a whole different game as opposed to writing a profile.

Yeah, if you don't think being from another country isn't something interesting, well, you would be wrong. Put that in...and the country you're from.

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Old 05-04-2012, 02:48 PM   #746
catzmeow
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  Originally Posted by Hawkx
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Okay, I'm a bit hesitant since I prefer not to copy but Ill use some aspects of it.

I write professionally, consider it a donation to the "Get Hawk a Date" fund.

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Old 05-04-2012, 03:04 PM   #747
Hawkx
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  Originally Posted by catzmeow
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I write professionally, consider it a donation to the "Get Hawk a Date" fund.

I'll start on the website!
Headline: Donate your quotes to help poor ol' Hawkx find a date online.
It only takes one quote a day to help this young man reach his full potential in the world.

I'm starting to open up my true personality
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, except in the wrong place.

---------- Post added 05-04-2012 at 04:12 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by thecase
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Are you sure you are not an S, N's are usually much more witty and clever. (sorry to be blunt).

The main thing I look for in a profile is ambiguity, nuance, and a sense of humor this is the opposite of that.

- an intj female.

To exclude that possibility I played around with the cognitive functions a lot. The only one that made sense was INTJ cognitive functions. I have an extreme desire to connect everything to something else which is my Ni working. Second most dominant is the Te which I use to understand topics, and I have a strong preference for spatial visual learning.

Perhaps I haven't fully developed my introverted feeling side.

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Old 05-04-2012, 06:06 PM   #748
Lilie
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  Originally Posted by Subgenius
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Yeah, if you don't think being from another country isn't something interesting, well, you would be wrong. Put that in...and the country you're from.

I really don't get the reluctance over this. Obvious non-native English speaker trying to pretend he's a native of New York to get dates... it makes NO sense. If you're too embarrassed to admit what country you're from, it doesn't bode well for success in relationships.

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Old 05-04-2012, 06:14 PM   #749
thecase
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  Originally Posted by Hawkx
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To exclude that possibility I played around with the cognitive functions a lot. The only one that made sense was INTJ cognitive functions. I have an extreme desire to connect everything to something else which is my Ni working. Second most dominant is the Te which I use to understand topics, and I have a strong preference for spatial visual learning.

Perhaps I haven't fully developed my introverted feeling side.

Fair enough, I agree the Ni is the desire to connect everything- but for me that includes human behavior and emotions- but it makes sense if you are inexperienced in that field that those connections aren't there to make.

I was thrust into a crazy extroverted society by my mother at a young age, so while that wasn't all that thrilling for me, I spent a lot of time, around a lot of people, observing them..

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Old 05-04-2012, 07:04 PM   #750
Subgenius
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  Originally Posted by Hawkx
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Well everyone said to try something with a bit of sex appeal and with some stories
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. Hope its ok...

My picture has been getting a lot of hits from girls--up to like 15. I still have not received a message.

How long has your picture been up? 15 isn't necessarily a great number, for you live in NYC which is a huge city. You also have to recognize that if you haven't had the pic up long you are going to get some initial hits but they quickly stop once people have decided to stop looking at you when you come up, either through the ignore feature or just not clicking on you.

Also, is that A-list feature up? You might want to consider that.

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