Reply
Thread Tools
"Head hunter" aka recruiter None
Old 05-02-2012, 02:41 AM   #1
Qjiggy
Member [07%]
MBTI: Intj
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 317
 
So I've been adding recruiters on my linkedIn and to my surprise, someone has messaged me for a lunch meet. Having never done this before and seeing the movie "friends with benefits", i don't want to disappoint myself rather get ahead of myself; so easily done by us long-range thinkers.

What would be an appropriate response? I'm happy enough at my current job, but I can point out negatives that will out-weigh the positive. I will be changing career in the near future, maybe this could land me a lead? I could totally mess this opportunity then have my boss find out about the meeting and ruin my current work. Or i'm Justin Timberlake and she's my Mila Kunis and we'll live happily ever after - lol!

So what would you do, if your in the same situation. Lunch does sounds interesting; especially if she's paying. But who really pays, or do we go dutch on the bill?
Qjiggy is offline
Reply With Quote

Old 05-02-2012, 03:33 AM   #2
ppu6502
Special Snowflake
MBTI: INTj
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 15,348
 
Why would you meet with a recruiter if you aren't looking to change jobs?

I get recruiter contacts every week. Just reply and say thanks, that you aren't actively pursuing new opportunities at the moment.
ppu6502 is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 03:40 AM   #3
Autumnleaf
Core Member [294%]
MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 11,794
 
Ask her. Tell her you can't do it if word will get back to your boss.
Autumnleaf is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 03:41 AM   #4
Qjiggy
Member [07%]
MBTI: Intj
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 317
 

  Originally Posted by ppu6502
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Why would you meet with a recruiter if you aren't looking to change jobs?

Well it says right on my profile that I'm not looking for opportunities. I'm leaning towards meeting with her for free lunch and chance to practice my small talks with a stranger. But how do I address who pays the bill?

---------- Post added 05-02-2012 at 03:45 AM ----------

  Originally Posted by Autumnleaf
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Ask her. Tell her you can't do it if word will get back to your boss.

Oh I'm not worried about my boss haha I taunted him weeks ago to fire me. The job isn't what I expected but again it could be worse, I had expectations. Even though they aren't being met, it pays the bills and still enjoy the job. But really if he finds out I had a meeting, maybe he can address some issues that I have or find someone else. He'd be doing me a favor if he does so; and I say that in the nicest way

Qjiggy is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 03:56 AM   #5
Mogura
Core Member [182%]
I am not the droid you're looking for...
MBTI: INFJ
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 7,291
 

  Originally Posted by Qjiggy
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Well it says right on my profile that I'm not looking for opportunities. I'm leaning towards meeting with her for free lunch and chance to practice my small talks with a stranger. But how do I address who pays the bill?

E-mail or telephone her saying that you would like to schedule a meeting sometime after your next pay day. Mention vaguely that you recently made some big purchase, so you're being proactive with regards to your budget. At that point she would clearly mention that lunch is 'on her' if indeed it is...

Mogura is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 07:04 AM   #6
colonelburger
Member [02%]
MBTI: XNTJ
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 87
 
If you are interested in seeing what you're worth, go right ahead with it, there won't be any negatives, just don't let your current workplace know about it.

I get cold calls monthly from recruiters via LinkedIn, it's a good indicator that you're valuable
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
colonelburger is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 09:24 AM   #7
Polymath20
Core Member [755%]
MBTI: ENTP
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 30,209
 
Yes, this is called networking - it's always good to maintain connections to well-connected people.

I used to have a good connection that found me plenty of work, but he moved on to different fields, so I had to get very good at finding/forging my own connections.
Polymath20 is online
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 11:17 AM   #8
Qjiggy
Member [07%]
MBTI: Intj
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 317
 
Alright this is what I have

"Your invitation sounds interesting. I just recently enrolled myself to UTSC and not actively looking for new work but my days tend to repeat itself so a break from it doesn't sound bad at all. I can meet you sometime next week after Thursday unless lunch is on you?"

Does that sound okay? I haven't sent it yet. I just don't want to sound like a jerk and yeah my networking skill is poor
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Qjiggy is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 11:18 AM   #9
ppu6502
Special Snowflake
MBTI: INTj
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 15,348
 
I don't understand why a random person you didn't already know would contact you on LinkedIn, asking to go to lunch, when you aren't even looking for a job.

Does them existing on LinkedIn somehow imply they are a safe and worthwhile person to randomly meet under no specific premise?

I'm honestly baffled by this entire interaction.

As far as calling this "networking" -- it doesn't work like that. To follow the network metaphor, establishing a link between effectively random nodes is pointless, and in fact counterproductive, from the standpoint of both trust and relevance networks.
ppu6502 is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 11:24 AM   #10
Qjiggy
Member [07%]
MBTI: Intj
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 317
 
I've read her profile, she's a female or else I wouldn't give it a second thought. And it's true my days are repetitive, so little outside interaction isn't bad at all. Lunch is common among business meetings. Dinner is too informal. It's not like she's inviting me to her place to have lunch lol. It's gonna be in the public.

And I have no idea how this works. I've only heard stories, seen on movies, mostly I'm on the otherside if the table going after HR people and convince them for a job. So I'm treating this like a once in a blue moon thing. I need help what to say, and maybe hopefully from someone who has had same encounter.

---------- Post added 05-02-2012 at 11:31 AM ----------

  Originally Posted by ppu6502
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I don't understand why a random person you didn't already know would contact you on LinkedIn, asking to go to lunch, when you aren't even looking for a job.

Does them existing on LinkedIn somehow imply they are a safe and worthwhile person to randomly meet under no specific premise?

I'm honestly baffled by this entire interaction.

As far as calling this "networking" -- it doesn't work like that. To follow the network metaphor, establishing a link between effectively random nodes is pointless, and in fact counterproductive, from the standpoint of both trust and relevance networks.

Btw linkedIn is probably the most underrated network site to many peoples eyes. Most of my connection I met face to face, some I met because we have a common goal and interest. I use it all the time at my work, use it as my new business calling cards. I'm sure others have found ways to make great use of it, mine is just a sample, and I'm constantly evolving into other ideas. it's not like Facebook, by far it's not. To those who think it is, better not bother spend time on it

Qjiggy is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 11:31 AM   #11
ppu6502
Special Snowflake
MBTI: INTj
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 15,348
 
It may sound paranoid, but having some link to people you know and trust is pretty important both from general social and career perspectives. Especially if it's sort of a freelancing headhunter, not affiliated with an organization you have good reason to trust.

It almost sounds like you're expecting this to be like a date.

Anyway, maybe there's more to this story, just my two cents. Good luck whatever you end up doing.
ppu6502 is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 11:41 AM   #12
Qjiggy
Member [07%]
MBTI: Intj
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 317
 
Like I mentioned, I've read her profile. Her old job intertwine with my industry, she has done many work all around and right now her profile suggest that she handles projects for Rona, Staples and some others (I just named the ones maybe more familiar).

Haha damm straight I'll treat this like a date. A date I have rules and one of things I cannot talk about is my work. On this one, I'm guessing I CAN talk about work haha. It's not a date -.-

And I sent what I posted earlier. Who cares, I spend enough time thinking about that it doesn't mean much right now. Thank you all that helped out. Glad to see skeptics out here :/
Qjiggy is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 01:36 PM   #13
Selene
Veteran Member [94%]
Bourgeois interruptus
MBTI: XXXX
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 3,794
 

  Originally Posted by Qjiggy
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
So what would you do, if your in the same situation. Lunch does sounds interesting; especially if she's paying. But who really pays, or do we go dutch on the bill?

If you're in it for a free meal (feels weird for me to say this because knowing how society works, there's no such thing as free lunch), she's paying. After all, she asked. Even in Hollywood, Mila Kunis wanted something from Timberlake in the beginning.

Headhunters in the right frame of mind know better than to waste a minute of their time on bad targets.

If you want to impress upon someone who may potentially benefit your career, treat. Have fun.

Selene is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 02:50 PM   #14
Qjiggy
Member [07%]
MBTI: Intj
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 317
 
Haha she hasn't responded, guess there goes the free meal
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Yeah I didn't want her to waste her time on me as well. I think my reply was appropriate. The worse that anyone can do is give false hope. In customer service, many still embrace that notion, I myself from experience hate when given false information and lead me into bigger disappointment down the line. The saying "peel the bandage off quick rather than doing it slow", suggests the negativity quickly fades into the shadows if done quick as possible.
Qjiggy is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2012, 01:05 PM   #15
Autumnleaf
Core Member [294%]
MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 11,794
 
I just remembered. My old boss would have people occasionally call and act like they were head hunters just to see if we where thinking of leaving. He wanted to test our loyalty. One of my peers did tell the caller she was interested in new opportunities. She wasn't there long after that.
Autumnleaf is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2012, 01:48 PM   #16
SilentRequiem
Member [14%]
...
MBTI: INTx
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 581
 

  Originally Posted by Qjiggy
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
So I've been adding recruiters on my linkedIn and to my surprise, someone has messaged me for a lunch meet. Having never done this before and seeing the movie "friends with benefits", i don't want to disappoint myself rather get ahead of myself; so easily done by us long-range thinkers.

What would be an appropriate response? I'm happy enough at my current job, but I can point out negatives that will out-weigh the positive. I will be changing career in the near future, maybe this could land me a lead? I could totally mess this opportunity then have my boss find out about the meeting and ruin my current work. Or i'm Justin Timberlake and she's my Mila Kunis and we'll live happily ever after - lol!

So what would you do, if your in the same situation. Lunch does sounds interesting; especially if she's paying. But who really pays, or do we go dutch on the bill?

I think this thread should be moved to R&D.
If I was in the same situation? What do you mean? Is this a question about career or bill splitting?
If it was the former, that wouldn't be general its specific to your career consideration. Unless of course the whole point of the post is to see how career can get you to ask her out?
If it is the later, I'd invite the connection, as the connection is doing the work that is in my advantage.

SilentRequiem is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2012, 09:57 PM   #17
Mogura
Core Member [182%]
I am not the droid you're looking for...
MBTI: INFJ
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 7,291
 

  Originally Posted by Qjiggy
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Alright this is what I have

"Your invitation sounds interesting. I just recently enrolled myself to UTSC and not actively looking for new work but my days tend to repeat itself so a break from it doesn't sound bad at all. I can meet you sometime next week after Thursday unless lunch is on you?"

Does that sound okay? I haven't sent it yet. I just don't want to sound like a jerk and yeah my networking skill is poor
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Better:

Hi [Name],

I would defintely be open to meeting sometime soon to discuss opportunities. I am pretty busy at the moment (hence my reason for not actively looking for work), so this week might not be so good. How about sometime after next Thursday?"

-----

As for lunch, don't push the issue of who pays. Either she will pay for the both of you and expense it, or you two will be going dutch. It's not about the meal, it's about networking and finding a job, should you need one...

Mogura is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2012, 08:21 AM   #18
colonelburger
Member [02%]
MBTI: XNTJ
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 87
 

  Originally Posted by Autumnleaf
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I just remembered. My old boss would have people occasionally call and act like they were head hunters just to see if we where thinking of leaving. He wanted to test our loyalty. One of my peers did tell the caller she was interested in new opportunities. She wasn't there long after that.

Wow, that's some stone cold shit right there.

colonelburger is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2012, 09:56 AM   #19
Qjiggy
Member [07%]
MBTI: Intj
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 317
 
I sent her another email, apologizing for me getting a big head and saying "i am extremely flattered...not actively looking for opportunity...after my certificate i have no plans...if willing to meet up; i'm down." This time i didn't mention anything about whos' expense it will be, other than from the initial apology sentence

i think @mogura gave the best response to make me realize of my action.
Qjiggy is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2012, 10:03 PM   #20
mormeguil
Member [32%]
MBTI: Intj
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,298
 
Well this might be a bit late for an answer. But I would simply accept and be upfront about it. Ideally if you are scared of the restaurant cost you can suggest one yourself thats in the ballpark of what you feel good paying.

It can be nice to inform your employer, but It truly depend of your work culture and environement. I would not voice it clearly, but if anybody ask questions don't try to hide it.

Worses comes to worse it will be a nice networking opportunity and you can learn about a different workplace.
mormeguil is offline
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:37 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Myers-Briggs, and MBTI are trademarks or registered trademarks of the
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Trust in the United States and other countries.