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Old 04-02-2012, 02:01 PM   #26
Causa Mortis
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  Originally Posted by namaste
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Today i met a therapist. We travelled all the way to town and was waiting for her half an hour
she came late and started the theraphy.
she sat there for 15 minutes and in that 5 minutes went on phone conversation then she started promoting her book and asking me to buy it...and come back next week after reading it
also she said that i might not need any type of testing...
is she a genuine therapist ??? any guidance.

The most important component of therapy is your relationship with the therapist - that you believe they care about your concerns. If you can't do this, its a waste of your time and money. That she wants to provide fifteen minutes of therapy and bill an hour is awful.

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Old 04-02-2012, 03:16 PM   #27
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  Originally Posted by thod
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Those with 'problems' rarely do have problems. They just don't realise how ordinary, how banal, their problems are. Like other men my age, I don't feel any desire to help them. I just avoid them and let them sort themselves out. That is the trick, nobody can do it but themselves. No 'therapist' can do it for them. IMHO most of it is princess syndrome. Nobody gives a darn, why do they think anyone would.

there's a young woman you should meet - as a child had been repeatedly raped by her father on a weekly basis, beaten, then intentionally given potent narcotics to drive her insane so none would believe her abuse story. there's a guy you should meet - as a child his father beat him and his mother regularly, until one night when he shot his mother dead in front of him while blaming it on the child, who believed him and never said anything out of fear for being imprisoned. then there's this other guy who was repeatedly raped by his uncle, a summer caretaker from his parents, and taught that saying anything about it would get his throat slit while sleeping. then there's this other woman who...

... well, you may probably get a good idea of a small sample of the thousands of people who you can come across. and many of these men who were physically abused? i would almost dare you to tell them their problems are 'ordinary and banal', but i honestly wouldnt want to see getting your ass beaten straight into a hospital despite my strong dislike of your comments, because thats another reason why we treat them... so you dont have to live in a society where these things would happen to you.

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Old 04-02-2012, 03:20 PM   #28
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  Originally Posted by thod
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Yes. These days I am probably borderline schizoid. All issues have already been internally resolved. Those with 'problems' rarely do have problems. They just don't realise how ordinary, how banal, their problems are. Like other men my age, I don't feel any desire to help them. I just avoid them and let them sort themselves out. That is the trick, nobody can do it but themselves. No 'therapist' can do it for them. IMHO most of it is princess syndrome. Nobody gives a darn, why do they think anyone would.

It's your right to lack that desire. Some people, however, are too far gone due to neurochemical issues that they need external assistance. There are also plenty of those that suffer from Pervasive Developmental Disorders. "Nobody gives a darn" is precisely why in some cases a therapist or neuropsychologist is needed, they're paid to concern themselves with the issue.

And I think sometimes others are just looking for a way to rationalize their lack of empathy or willingness to help. Which is fine, but it doesn't deal objectivity with someone's deficiencies. It's funny that those who dismiss psychiatry also constantly dismiss reality. Some people have experienced things you couldn't begin to imagine.

To the OP, if a therapist isn't making an effort to aid me, I wouldn't waste any further money.

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Old 04-02-2012, 04:13 PM   #29
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The most important component of therapy is your relationship with the therapist - that you believe they care about your concerns. If you can't do this, its a waste of your time and money. That she wants to provide fifteen minutes of therapy and bill an hour is awful.

This is an incredibly important comment. You need to feel that the therapeutic relation is the kind you are seeking. It clealy is not and I would suggest finding someone else. My first idea would be to look into the major type of psychological therapy:
- Cognitivo-behavioral
- psychoanalysis
- humanist

Then think about the kind of problem you want to resolve and how much time/money you are willing to spend. Before the taking an appointment or during the first appointment ask about what style they prefer and communicate your desire.

The therapist should then take at least 20-30 minute asking questions about different aspect of your life to get an overall idea of who you are.
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Old 04-03-2012, 02:16 AM   #30
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  Originally Posted by mormeguil
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[B]T
The therapist should then take at least 20-30 minute asking questions about different aspect of your life to get an overall idea of who you are.

20 minutes again is too less it almost feels that the theraphy started and ended at the sametime

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Old 04-04-2012, 03:19 AM   #31
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My understanding is that modern therapy is frequently a 15 minute interview followed by drug prescription and not the Freudian talk sessions of yesteryear.

There is a common English expression for what you feel "To be given short shrift". Failure to fully satisfy like when the meal is too small or your husband ejaculates too soon. The phrase originates from the Catholic practice of confession. The priest would 'shrive' you and after your confession you be 'shriven'. In such traditional societies the priest was acting in the capacity of the therapist. A sympathetic ear to tell your problems to.

Clearly you need to change therapist and find one focussed on talking cures. I suspect that you are not ill. All you need is a friend.
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Old 04-04-2012, 07:34 AM   #32
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Whatever she is or isn't, it sounds like she handled your therapy session in a very unprofessional and disinterested manner. If it were me, I would tell her very that very directly and seek someone with more evident professional competence and genuine interest in focusing on the client and their particular issues.
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Old 04-04-2012, 07:46 AM   #33
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  Originally Posted by thod
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My understanding is that modern therapy is frequently a 15 minute interview followed by drug prescription and not the Freudian talk sessions of yesteryear.

There is a common English expression for what you feel "To be given short shrift". Failure to fully satisfy like when the meal is too small or your husband ejaculates too soon. The phrase originates from the Catholic practice of confession. The priest would 'shrive' you and after your confession you be 'shriven'. In such traditional societies the priest was acting in the capacity of the therapist. A sympathetic ear to tell your problems to.

Clearly you need to change therapist and find one focussed on talking cures. I suspect that you are not ill. All you need is a friend.

ya i need friend and today one of my colleague commented that i have opened up more which is good so i asked was i closed earlier so she said that yes i was quite closed or reclusive earlier....
i dont want people to make such comments about me or look at me differently

---------- Post added 04-04-2012 at 05:17 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by MissionPossible
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Whatever she is or isn't, it sounds like she handled your therapy session in a very unprofessional and disinterested manner. If it were me, I would tell her very that very directly and seek someone with more evident professional competence and genuine interest in focusing on the client and their particular issues.

she is a celebrity therapist and was only there for i dont know why
but i also felt that she was not interested in seriously working with me
i just want some ordinary therapist not this celebrity

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Old 04-04-2012, 07:50 AM   #34
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  Originally Posted by thod
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What is the deal with all these therapists? I have never seen one, I have never met one. Neither have any of my friends. I see it as a thing for those locked in mental institutions. No normal person would ever dream of seeking one out, if they could find one. Normal people chat with their friends not with therapists. They are preying on your insecurities and your need for companionship. They have no answers to give.

I would disagree. part of the problem is that you say "normal people". What is normal people? Friends are people who are not bound by professional ethics or law to keep your confidence or remain your friends. Friends don't always tell you the truth (or tell you the truth for the wrong reasons or in problematic ways), nor are they impartial, and they may be far more lacking in knowledge, objectivity and other critical thinking skills in understanding how human behavior, thinking, and feelings work together in a person in society.

There are some professions, ages, and life situations in which therapy is very valuable to many people. Just because you don't know any or don't think you do, doesn't mean that many don't use such professionals. If, as you say, "no normal person goes to them" then one, how could the field be so full of such professionals...and two.....maybe that is why our daily lives seem full of "normal" people who obviously don't deal with their problems in any responsible way by getting the help that they need and instead wind up subjecting others to their problems....sometimes by killing or murdering. Oh, he seemed so norrrrrmal...yeah, he was normal until he went abnormal, right?

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Old 04-04-2012, 10:25 AM   #35
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Find a new therapist and report this loser.

It is possible to get a good reputation while sucking, if your good at working the hype machine. Or maybe she was good but the fame has corrupted her. Either way she isn't acting like a proper therapist, you can do better and you should make sure others are less inclined to use her.
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Old 04-04-2012, 01:04 PM   #36
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My understanding is that modern therapy is frequently a 15 minute interview followed by drug prescription and not the Freudian talk sessions of yesteryear.

Depends if you go to a psychiatrist or psychologist, the latter is meant to engage the client in conversation, to find and solve the root of the problem. If it is neurochemical, the psychologist may give a referral to a psychiatrist.

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Old 04-04-2012, 01:15 PM   #37
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I hope you can find a new therapist and it's too bad you had to deal with that.
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Old 04-04-2012, 01:48 PM   #38
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  Originally Posted by thod
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Those with 'problems' rarely do have problems.

  Originally Posted by spect
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... well, you may probably get a good idea of a small sample of the thousands of people who you can come across.

Good to see that you two can agree on something.

For clarity : I believe that Thod does acknowledge that there are individuals who have experienced trauma or who have systemic(read:chemical,neurological,...) issues. What he is saying is that most people do not even have the knowledge to determine whether or not they are one of those individuals who need help, and that of all the people who go to see a professional, those in need are outnumbered by those who just "have no friends".

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Old 04-04-2012, 06:24 PM   #39
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20 minutes again is too less it almost feels that the theraphy started and ended at the sametime

I do agree, but it's still the bare minimum. I once had some therapy paid by my current job, but they only offered to pay 3 session. I could not afford more and said so to the psychologist. He shortened things up and used about 20 minutes to ask questions about my life before going more into what I felt was the problem.

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Old 04-05-2012, 01:04 PM   #40
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  Originally Posted by thod
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What is the deal with all these therapists? I have never seen one, I have never met one. Neither have any of my friends. I see it as a thing for those locked in mental institutions. No normal person would ever dream of seeking one out, if they could find one. Normal people chat with their friends not with therapists. They are preying on your insecurities and your need for companionship. They have no answers to give.

Friends don't have training in mental health. Friends don't always have a new perspective to give you. Friends aren't going to challenge you with new ideas.

I'll give you an example. Once, when I was having a depressive episode, I reached out to my friend. He said some pretty insensitive stuff, because he hasn't been trained on how to deal with something like that. It made me feel worse. So I then reached out to my therapist, who helped me realize why I was feeling depressed, and helped me see how to resolve the issue.

It's awesome that you feel satisfied and fulfilled in your life. I don't, and I feel pretty "normal". I don't think I belong in a mental institution either. I am certainly not psychotic, nor delusional. However, I value my therapist's input, and I can see how I have become a better and happier person since I started seeing him. My quality of life has gone up, and I feel hopeful towards the future.

I should note, that a therapist cannot fix anyone. You have to fix yourself. However, a good therapist can certainly give you the tools you need to do so.

---------- Post added 04-05-2012 at 12:21 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by thod
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Yes. These days I am probably borderline schizoid. All issues have already been internally resolved. Those with 'problems' rarely do have problems. They just don't realise how ordinary, how banal, their problems are. Like other men my age, I don't feel any desire to help them. I just avoid them and let them sort themselves out. That is the trick, nobody can do it but themselves. No 'therapist' can do it for them. IMHO most of it is princess syndrome. Nobody gives a darn, why do they think anyone would.

What may be difficult for one person, may be super easy for another. You yourself stated that you had a good childhood. Childhood and adolescence is the time period in which most people develop coping mechanisms which can damage them in adulthood. Since you did not have a difficult childhood, you likely did not develop damaging behaviors which hurt you now. However, many many people have, and it hurts them a great deal. These behaviors can cause people to act in irrational ways. To take great hurts for ordinary, banal problems. You may be able to deal with these problems in a constructive way, and if so, good for you! However, not everyone has the tool set that you do, and that doesn't make them any less of a person, or any more of a "princess" than you are. (I mean, seriously, you're kind of tooting your own horn, here, talking about how you don't need a therapist. Who is the special princess here?)

The job of a skilled therapist is to deconstruct these behaviors, so that the client can move on and fulfill their potential as an adult. It's a waste of resources for us to NOT try to maximize everyone's abilities. Study after study have indicated that when a person feels happier, they are more productive. This means that businesses can make a better profit, that schools can teach more effectively, etc. This also feeds on itself, a happy person who is more productive can feel pride in their accomplishments, and gets a boost in happiness as a result.

I don't understand how anyone who is at all educated can dismiss psychotherapy, considering the great amount of evidence indicating that it not only works, but actively benefits society.

Is every therapist great? Of course not. Some therapists are pretty screwed up people, just like there are screwed up people in every profession. But what do you do when you get a doctor who is crap? Do you just stop going to doctors? Or do you find one that works well with you and can help you address your health issues? I'm willing to bet it's the latter.

---------- Post added 04-05-2012 at 12:29 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by thod
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My understanding is that modern therapy is frequently a 15 minute interview followed by drug prescription and not the Freudian talk sessions of yesteryear.

There is a common English expression for what you feel "To be given short shrift". Failure to fully satisfy like when the meal is too small or your husband ejaculates too soon. The phrase originates from the Catholic practice of confession. The priest would 'shrive' you and after your confession you be 'shriven'. In such traditional societies the priest was acting in the capacity of the therapist. A sympathetic ear to tell your problems to.

Clearly you need to change therapist and find one focussed on talking cures. I suspect that you are not ill. All you need is a friend.

Okay, I get it now. You're not at all educated about how mental health works. You should really look into a subject, and research it, before dismissing it. While Wikipedia isn't the best source for scholarly work, I recommend you start reading about psychology there, and look into the vastly different types of therapy (there're much more than the drug therapy / psychoanalytic dichotomy you've got going on there). Just a thought.

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Old 04-05-2012, 01:43 PM   #41
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  Originally Posted by JulietCapulet
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I hope you can find a new therapist and it's too bad you had to deal with that.

right now i am not searching
kind of tired with all this nonsense

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Old 04-05-2012, 02:02 PM   #42
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  Originally Posted by namaste
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right now i am not searching
kind of tired with all this nonsense

I can dig that. I've been 'burnt' by several therapists and it becomes hard to trust any of them at some point. But you might have better luck than I did if you give it another try.

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Old 04-05-2012, 02:12 PM   #43
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You know what, skip therapy. These therapists usually have no clue, most of them are just charlatans.
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Old 04-06-2012, 12:44 PM   #44
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  Originally Posted by DarthKelly
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I'll give you an example. Once, when I was having a depressive episode, I reached out to my friend. He said some pretty insensitive stuff, because he hasn't been trained on how to deal with something like that. It made me feel worse. So I then reached out to my therapist, who helped me realize why I was feeling depressed, and helped me see how to resolve the issue.

Another major issue with reaching out to your friends is that like attracts like. When I was in therapy I tried talking about it with my friends. I'd say 90% of them had the exact same problem (frighteningly incompetent parents incapable of love) but weren't ready to admit it yet, if they ever will be. They were universally defensive which is worse than just being insensitive, because they knew right where to strike. I was beyond doubt but it was still really upsetting because I knew how they were feeling too so instead of feeling better I got to deal with my own sadness along with their miserable feelings.

Definitely get a new therapist. You need someone you feel comfortable with and who listens, at a minimum. If that happened to me I would rage, demand my money back and report her to any quality control board I could find, which is why those things don't often happen to me. She could tell you wouldn't complain and took advantage imo. Seeing someone like this isn't going to help your confidence in any way.

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Old 04-06-2012, 01:35 PM   #45
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  Originally Posted by Dung
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You know what, skip therapy. These therapists usually have no clue, most of them are just charlatans.

ya i agree

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Old 04-06-2012, 01:44 PM   #46
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Where did you find this therapist?
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Old 04-06-2012, 02:13 PM   #47
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  Originally Posted by namaste
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<snip>then she started promoting her book and asking me to buy it...and come back next week after reading it

The rest of it is bad enough, but this would end it for me. She's a movie star in her own mind.

Do you really want to continue on with someone who treats you like this? What does she have to do to before it's the last straw for you?

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Old 04-07-2012, 04:02 AM   #48
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  Originally Posted by jgregulus
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Where did you find this therapist?

my husband found her through google search and bullshit website

---------- Post added 04-07-2012 at 01:33 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by Shoshana
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The rest of it is bad enough, but this would end it for me. She's a movie star in her own mind.

Do you really want to continue on with someone who treats you like this? What does she have to do to before it's the last straw for you?

my moron husband wants me to continue with her the glamour queen with 15mins to spare
i am not one bit interested in her and her cheap marketing strategies

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