Are people inherently unable to change who they are?

**searches89** · 03-26-2012, 05:20 PM

Do you think people are inherently unable to change who they are? Or are they? If they are, what are some life-changing/altering events that change people? I've sometimes heard people say that people might change for a while, but ultimately they revert back to their same self, what do you think?

Also

If you think people DON'T change, what do you think of people who like to think people DO change. Vice versa. If you think people DO change, what do you think of people who like to think people DON'T change?

**Omnipotence** · 03-26-2012, 05:24 PM

People don't change but they can act differently.

**Grave** · 03-26-2012, 05:38 PM

It depends, people are defined by their habits as "who they are", these habits can be changed; however, they take a great amount of discipline, and the deeper in the consciousness a habit originates the harder--and possibly, it may be, impossible-- it is to break or change in this case.

**AlfredSchnittke** · 03-26-2012, 05:42 PM

Only the most dangerously self-aware, and psychotic are capable of changing themselves on a whim.

**Phaze228** · 03-26-2012, 06:10 PM

Experience makes them act differently in certain situations. But they never truly change who they are. It's one thing I learned I can count on.

**Autumnleaf** · 03-26-2012, 06:12 PM

All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.
T.E. Lawrence

**Distance** · 03-26-2012, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by searches89
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Do you think people are inherently unable to change who they are? Or are they? If they are, what are some life-changing/altering events that change people? I've sometimes heard people say that people might change for a while, but ultimately they revert back to their same self, what do you think?

Also

If you think people DON'T change, what do you think of people who like to think people DO change. Vice versa. If you think people DO change, what do you think of people who like to think people DON'T change?

Allow me to ask you a question in return prior to answering your question. Do you behave in identical fashion as you did at 5 years old?

**stealthfighter** · 03-26-2012, 06:36 PM

I think people in general are capable of change, but just don't have the will to do it. Most of the people I know who managed to change themselves did it uncosciously and were probably not even aware that they have changed at all.

**Haumea** · 03-26-2012, 08:35 PM

Yeah, it depends on the extent of "change" you have in mind. People do not change their basic nature, but perhaps they find more constructive uses for their personality aspects as they age.

**Still Standing** · 03-26-2012, 09:15 PM

	Originally Posted by stealthfighter To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I think people in general are capable of change, but just don't have the will to do it.

Reminds me of the old light bulb joke: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

In other words people change because they're truly fed up with being the way they are, not because other people at home, at work/school, in the media, etc. pressure them to change (those are usually superficial changes that don't last because resistance to change eventually kicks in).

	Originally Posted by searches89 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If you think people DO change, what do you think of people who like to think people DON'T change?

I usually don't think anything in particular of people who disagree with me. Different knowledge and experience means different beliefs.

**ascii** · 03-26-2012, 09:32 PM

You can always go Pavlov style and condition yourself to behave differently.

**sentientbeing** · 03-26-2012, 09:34 PM

The self is a collection of behavior and thought patterns. It can be changed permanently by altering the brain using meditation or chemicals. People can change some of their traits.

**Thinker** · 03-26-2012, 09:51 PM

People change but their changes aren't paradigm shifts, they are evolutionary changes over the person's life......it's called growing up

**karenann33** · 03-27-2012, 07:11 AM

Generally speaking I don't think people really want to change. Change and growth is painful and most avoid pain like it's the plague.

The ones I've seen change are the ones whose suffering is HIGHER than that the pain it will take to change. It's why letting someone hit rock bottom is sometimes quite effective.

**adonis** · 03-27-2012, 09:19 AM

I think you need to be very self aware to be able to change yourself.

**mampie** · 03-27-2012, 10:48 AM

People do change. The changes just tend to be small and shaped by reward and punishment more than anything. How rewarding or undesirable any given thing is to a particular person varies greatly, and thus we see differences in which ruts people find themselves in.

I think that life altering events rock people's equilibriums in such a way that cuts off former reward/punishment paths, requiring them to find new ones. Such a process can be very jarring, which I can personally attest to.

I'd say that people who don't think people change are either looking at people who don't need to change for any reason, or they are only looking at a few traits about a person that don't change.

**sevans** · 03-27-2012, 10:54 AM

Some people change drastically, others never change.

**TheWanderer** · 03-27-2012, 01:01 PM

People can change, but are inheriatnly resistant to it, even postive change from within. And plenty of people can fake it

**Atamagahen** · 03-27-2012, 01:05 PM

I believe...people can change how they are, not who they are truly. Only certain people have the will to do this, and even then, they'll need to be given the right instances in most cases.

**idoj** · 03-27-2012, 01:19 PM

Uh huh.

**millifly** · 03-27-2012, 01:24 PM

From my experience, I feel that people don't change as much as they gradually become the person that they really are. When you are young and growing, your identity is shaped significantly by your environment. Your attitudes, reactions, coping strategies were developed based on the opportunities and demands of your surroundings. As you grow and perhaps be able to dissassociate yourself from your past, you are then free to be who you really are.

**cyd0nia** · 03-27-2012, 01:33 PM

Capacity to change decreases as one becomes older

The major milestones take place during the earlier formative years and they form a base upon which less apparent changes take place

IMO, a definition of change is one that implies a transition from x to y, with no return.

**BERZERKER** · 03-27-2012, 01:59 PM

I think that even though many think/feel that they and others are able to change, its only possible for the few, if anyone, and depends largely on what we mean by change. Its like an illusion many of us carries, like how people in new years spirit "decides" to change their lifes for the better, this be more healty, work harder and so on, only to fall back to old habbits after some time. Those few who are able to more permanently alter their personality and relation to the objects somewhat, I think is more due to selfdiscovery and "bildung"/refinements of your better qualities on the expence of worse sides (or reverse if you regress), rather than installing some new hardware/software, to put it blunt. My view is therefore somewhat on the line of what millifly speaks of

**spect** · 03-27-2012, 02:38 PM

i've done it, still doing it, and have experienced others that have.

no its not easy at all, which is why they have my respect and admiration, they absolutely deserve it. your question shows it and its reflected in most people's beliefs that many people think its impossible, and maybe thats for a good reason since so few people do. but that should also reflect with validation on the strength and persistence that people develop to change, because its an accomplishment that deserves high recognition.

**Daes** · 03-27-2012, 04:12 PM

People change their behavior based on their circumstances, but they do not change their nature. The behavior they show is basically just a reaction to their environment based on their nature.

It's similar to those toys which change their color based on the heat around them; if you run the hot water over them, they'll turn yellow (or whatever color) for as long as the heat is on. Once it's cold, however, they'll go back to their first color pretty quick.

03-26-2012, 05:20 PM	#1
searches89 Member [04%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 172	Do you think people are inherently unable to change who they are? Or are they? If they are, what are some life-changing/altering events that change people? I've sometimes heard people say that people might change for a while, but ultimately they revert back to their same self, what do you think? Also If you think people DON'T change, what do you think of people who like to think people DO change. Vice versa. If you think people DO change, what do you think of people who like to think people DON'T change?
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03-26-2012, 05:24 PM	#2
Omnipotence New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 24	People don't change but they can act differently.
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03-26-2012, 05:38 PM	#3
Grave Member [07%] MBTI: INFP Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 305	It depends, people are defined by their habits as "who they are", these habits can be changed; however, they take a great amount of discipline, and the deeper in the consciousness a habit originates the harder--and possibly, it may be, impossible-- it is to break or change in this case.
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03-26-2012, 05:42 PM	#4
AlfredSchnittke Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 1,268	Only the most dangerously self-aware, and psychotic are capable of changing themselves on a whim.
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03-26-2012, 06:10 PM	#5
Phaze228 Member [26%] MBTI: ENTP Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 1,048	Experience makes them act differently in certain situations. But they never truly change who they are. It's one thing I learned I can count on.
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03-26-2012, 06:12 PM	#6
Autumnleaf Core Member [228%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 9,143	All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible. T.E. Lawrence
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03-26-2012, 06:36 PM	#8
stealthfighter Veteran Member [84%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 3,394	I think people in general are capable of change, but just don't have the will to do it. Most of the people I know who managed to change themselves did it uncosciously and were probably not even aware that they have changed at all.
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03-26-2012, 08:35 PM	#9
Haumea Veteran Member [85%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 3,439	Yeah, it depends on the extent of "change" you have in mind. People do not change their basic nature, but perhaps they find more constructive uses for their personality aspects as they age.
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03-26-2012, 09:32 PM	#11
ascii Member [03%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 131	You can always go Pavlov style and condition yourself to behave differently.
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03-26-2012, 09:34 PM	#12
sentientbeing Member [12%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 482	The self is a collection of behavior and thought patterns. It can be changed permanently by altering the brain using meditation or chemicals. People can change some of their traits.
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03-26-2012, 09:51 PM	#13
Thinker Core Member [117%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 4,685	People change but their changes aren't paradigm shifts, they are evolutionary changes over the person's life......it's called growing up
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03-27-2012, 07:11 AM	#14
karenann33 Member [31%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 1,278	Generally speaking I don't think people really want to change. Change and growth is painful and most avoid pain like it's the plague. The ones I've seen change are the ones whose suffering is HIGHER than that the pain it will take to change. It's why letting someone hit rock bottom is sometimes quite effective.
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03-27-2012, 09:19 AM	#15
adonis New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 68	I think you need to be very self aware to be able to change yourself.
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03-27-2012, 10:48 AM	#16
mampie New Member [01%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 17	People do change. The changes just tend to be small and shaped by reward and punishment more than anything. How rewarding or undesirable any given thing is to a particular person varies greatly, and thus we see differences in which ruts people find themselves in. I think that life altering events rock people's equilibriums in such a way that cuts off former reward/punishment paths, requiring them to find new ones. Such a process can be very jarring, which I can personally attest to. I'd say that people who don't think people change are either looking at people who don't need to change for any reason, or they are only looking at a few traits about a person that don't change.
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03-27-2012, 10:54 AM	#17
sevans Member [48%] MBTI: INtJ Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 1,949	Some people change drastically, others never change.
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03-27-2012, 01:01 PM	#18
TheWanderer Member [16%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 652	People can change, but are inheriatnly resistant to it, even postive change from within. And plenty of people can fake it
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03-27-2012, 01:05 PM	#19
Atamagahen Member [49%] MBTI: INTX Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 1,999	I believe...people can change how they are, not who they are truly. Only certain people have the will to do this, and even then, they'll need to be given the right instances in most cases.
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03-27-2012, 01:19 PM	#20
idoj Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 2,603	Uh huh.
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03-27-2012, 01:24 PM	#21
millifly Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 82	From my experience, I feel that people don't change as much as they gradually become the person that they really are. When you are young and growing, your identity is shaped significantly by your environment. Your attitudes, reactions, coping strategies were developed based on the opportunities and demands of your surroundings. As you grow and perhaps be able to dissassociate yourself from your past, you are then free to be who you really are.
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03-27-2012, 01:33 PM	#22
cyd0nia Member [06%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 242	Capacity to change decreases as one becomes older The major milestones take place during the earlier formative years and they form a base upon which less apparent changes take place IMO, a definition of change is one that implies a transition from x to y, with no return.
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03-27-2012, 01:59 PM	#23
BERZERKER New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 9	I think that even though many think/feel that they and others are able to change, its only possible for the few, if anyone, and depends largely on what we mean by change. Its like an illusion many of us carries, like how people in new years spirit "decides" to change their lifes for the better, this be more healty, work harder and so on, only to fall back to old habbits after some time. Those few who are able to more permanently alter their personality and relation to the objects somewhat, I think is more due to selfdiscovery and "bildung"/refinements of your better qualities on the expence of worse sides (or reverse if you regress), rather than installing some new hardware/software, to put it blunt. My view is therefore somewhat on the line of what millifly speaks of
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03-27-2012, 02:38 PM	#24
spect Veteran Member [56%] MBTI: inxx Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 2,262	i've done it, still doing it, and have experienced others that have. no its not easy at all, which is why they have my respect and admiration, they absolutely deserve it. your question shows it and its reflected in most people's beliefs that many people think its impossible, and maybe thats for a good reason since so few people do. but that should also reflect with validation on the strength and persistence that people develop to change, because its an accomplishment that deserves high recognition.
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03-27-2012, 04:12 PM	#25
Daes Member [05%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 216	People change their behavior based on their circumstances, but they do not change their nature. The behavior they show is basically just a reaction to their environment based on their nature. It's similar to those toys which change their color based on the heat around them; if you run the hot water over them, they'll turn yellow (or whatever color) for as long as the heat is on. Once it's cold, however, they'll go back to their first color pretty quick.
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