[DrCiao]

I was browsing some sites and it's been said that INTJ + INTJ or INTJ + ENTJ is akin to a soulmate experience as NTJs prefer their own type when it comes to relationships. Oes anyone have any stories to corroborate this experience?

[Purgatid]

I knew after only a few hours that I wanted my current SO (INTJ). The day after, talking to her on MSN, I could deduce that attempting to "not have her" would be impossible. It wasn't like I had alternatives and I chose the alternative to be with her. It was more like there only being one alternative - us two together. Other choices didn't exist. Anyting could be sacrificed to achieve this, any cost would be acceptable losses. From what I understand when we've talked, it was the same for her. Other options than being together wasn't available.

I'm a rational being, yet I cannot put into words the sensation of only having this one option, when other options should logically exist. It's like every other alternative you suggest to your own mind comes back as "impossible." Or "irrelevant." I have a pretty strong imagination, but I cannot picture a future where she isn't present. It should be noted that I have had a lot of relationships. During my lifetime, I've had at least two dozen women whom I have attempted relationships with. But this stands outside all of those experiences.

I can't put into words the difference between being in love, and finding that someone. Language doesn't represent the difference. If one were to try and compare to bodily needs, it's the difference between love being the need to drink water, and this situation being the need to have a heart. I don't know if this situation is permanent, I don't know if it is an actual need or if my brain has simply blocked out any and all alternatives to this situation.

I am not a man of faith. I don't believe very intensly in rigid structures and social structures like marriage. We've been living together for 6 months now (moved in together the first week) but still - I see no purpose for the legal unification of two individuals.

Yet last night, I proposed.

So... I wish I could offer a better explenation to what this is.
But I can't.

To me, you're a blind man asking what the color of blue is.

[DrCiao]

That's a beautiful story.

I think that kind of experience changes people and perhaps lifts a filter of perception that is based on linear logic. People can seem great on paper, but that ineffable "the one" transcends that linearity and opts for that all consuming gut feeling called intuition that tells you not to let that person go.

I have encountered other INTJs and typically I find our minds start to sync and we can finish each other's thoughts. I wouldn't necessarily call this a soulmate experience but wonder which other factor(s) contribute to that kind of "knowledge" without proof of what you know is true? Which is that person is my soulmate?

[blerq]

Originally Posted by Purgatid To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I knew after only a few hours that I wanted my current SO (INTJ). The day after, talking to her on MSN, I could deduce that attempting to "not have her" would be impossible. It wasn't like I had alternatives and I chose the alternative to be with her. It was more like there only being one alternative - us two together. Other choices didn't exist. Anyting could be sacrificed to achieve this, any cost would be acceptable losses. From what I understand when we've talked, it was the same for her. Other options than being together wasn't available. I'm a rational being, yet I cannot put into words the sensation of only having this one option, when other options should logically exist. It's like every other alternative you suggest to your own mind comes back as "impossible." Or "irrelevant." I have a pretty strong imagination, but I cannot picture a future where she isn't present. It should be noted that I have had a lot of relationships. During my lifetime, I've had at least two dozen women whom I have attempted relationships with. But this stands outside all of those experiences. I can't put into words the difference between being in love, and finding that someone. Language doesn't represent the difference. If one were to try and compare to bodily needs, it's the difference between love being the need to drink water, and this situation being the need to have a heart. I don't know if this situation is permanent, I don't know if it is an actual need or if my brain has simply blocked out any and all alternatives to this situation. I am not a man of faith. I don't believe very intensly in rigid structures and social structures like marriage. We've been living together for 6 months now (moved in together the first week) but still - I see no purpose for the legal unification of two individuals. Yet last night, I proposed. So... I wish I could offer a better explenation to what this is. But I can't. To me, you're a blind man asking what the color of blue is.

How did you meet? I'm INTJ and have dated ISTJ and ISTP in the past but I think the INTJ + INTJ connection sounds like it could be as good for me as it is for you. I'm just very particular, even with INTJs I'm sure. Do you have a lot of similar interests and a lot of freedom and understanding?

[Silence]

	Originally Posted by DrCiao To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I was browsing some sites and it's been said that INTJ + INTJ or INTJ + ENTJ is akin to a soulmate experience as NTJs prefer their own type when it comes to relationships. Oes anyone have any stories to corroborate this experience?

Some people truly believe the "opposites attract" adage, but I've always found that commonalities are preferable to the 'charming idiosyncracies' that so quickly pale in a relationship.

[Homini Lupus]

The only thing I know for sure is that, even if you find as close as a match as you could ever hope to find, things may go wrong anyway. Such is life. You have to accept it and go on, even if you know that every other person you'll meet is not likely to connect with you on a similar level.

[Purgatid]

	Originally Posted by blerq
	How did you meet?

Through a common friend, who was ill at the moment. We had talked some over the internet prior to meeting, but none of us considered the other one as a potential partner. It was only after we met that the sense of "one alternative only" appeared.

	Originally Posted by blerq
	Do you have a lot of similar interests and a lot of freedom and understanding?

I adopt her interests, and she adopts mine. In the cases where we do not share an interest, we simply leave one another alone. We share a lot of opinions, which might be necessary for two INTJs. Then again, we have some opinions that separate us, yet those are dismissible. We have argued, but our arguments are all focused on solutions, rather than dominance - which seems to be the case for a lot of other couples. There's two winners each time an argument is settled, regardless of whose suggestion wins merit. We do not need to socialize just because we share the same space.

[zippikay]

Soulmate? perhaps...

SO is ENTJ and we've grown together for years, good thing is that we share the same value and belief and knowing that we will always be on the same side no matter what. when we fight, we fight, but no matter how bad the fight is, neither of us run away nor give up from it because there is only one thing in mind: how to make the relationship works at any cost

It is great that you can be who you are and show your true self, the full length of your fangs, the ugly dark side of you and knowing that you will be accepted in full and the pair of eyes are looking at you with compassion, not fear... and i reciprocate

we both met when we were in 7th grade for the first time...

[totoro]

My partner is INTJ. It really works.

I have dated other types and they were good experiences for the most part - but they didn't have what I have with another INTJ. He understands who I am. I don't have to explain things. We both truly enjoy the same activities and have the same goals. There is no need to compromise on ANYTHING. I can say the most outlandish, non-conventional plan and he will think about it and say, "good idea, lets do that".

When I was younger I might've been bored with another INTJ. I was looking for life experience, and I found it. Now I feel like I've done all the experimenting I need to do and I'm happy to have peace and harmony and fabulous conversations and problem-solving together.

[DelphianEtude]

The two INTJ females I know personally... I could see it working out. It's almost magical and creepy how we can see where our trains of thought are going. Many times we'll finish each others' sentences or I'll drop the conclusion before they're done explaining the logic behind it because I already know what's going on. They do the same to me many times too. I remember reading the first meeting between Howard Roark and Gail Wynand in The Fountainhead and laughing because it was a lot like what goes on when I'm communicating with any INTJ I know.

That being said, I don't think an INTJ will be my soulmate. They make awesome friends if you go through the effort of making and maintaining friendships with them. In my experience we're a lot less mysterious to each other than we are to other personality types too. And those few times when life tries to trick my rational mind, they're always there to put me back on the right track. But it's just too heavy for me to deal with every day I think. I don't know any ENTJs personally so I can't comment on that.

[Async]

I don't think I would want an INTJ or ENTJ as a partner. It is great to hang out with an intj/entj but life partner? Who would be the caregivers for the kids?
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I don't buy opposite attract either, complimentary is more like it. For me, it would be either infx or ixtp.

[Excelsius]

I really don't think that MBTI type is enough to claim someone is a "soulmate." Think about it - INTJs are pretty dogmatic. So what do you think would happen if a tea bagger INTJ (assuming it's even possible) got together with an uber-liberal INTJ? It probably will be ugly.

To further show this, my first girlfriend of seven years was an ENTJ. We had so many rough patches, but I always worked through them. It was always me coming up with solutions. However, over time I lost respect for her and didn't find her as intelligent. We also had too many arguments about not socializing enough. I broke up last year, now she realizes her mistakes and wants me back. The INFP I met recently connects with me far better than the ENTJ. I also have another work experience where a much older ENTJ was competing with me, and I lost respect for his "authority" also, and publicly too, because he overextended his skills and was clearly not intelligent. Thus, my conclusions are quite the opposite. If anything, I'd think that ENTJs might not be compatible with me.

I am now communicating with my first INTJ now and will be meeting her for a date soon. So far, the predictions have been right on because I have been creeped out by how similar we think. In fact, something hit so close to home that it almost prevented us from ever meeting. If I remember, I'll report back.

[sevans]

I do not believe in the idea of an individual person that completes you. I do however believe that there are many many people that, given the right circumstances, could be just the person you're looking for at that point in time in your life.

Recently I heard a story on NPR about a man and a woman who were in a relationship for 3 years or something, about to be married, but they wanted one last chance to make sure they really loved each other. They decided to take a 30 day break from each other before the wedding, have sex with as many people as they could, and see if they still wanted to get married. Long story short, the guy fell in love with another girl, his first girlfriend understood they broke off the wedding and he proceeded to get married to the other girl later on but is still extremely close with the girl whom he was engaged to. The still talk all the time.

This is the kind of relationship I'd like, this is the kind of person I'm looking to meet, the first girl not the second. I'd like someone that will be close to me, understand that even though I'm 22 this is my first relationship and that it shouldn't be expected to work out and she shouldn't expect to have me forever. I'd like to be able to mutually end a relationship and still be close friends like I am with a girl I've known since I was 8. I'd never want to fuck up a relationship like that, I would however like to be given the chance to prove that I'm much more stable and in control than I sometimes seem.

I'm aware much of this is divergent of the topic, but maybe it gives some insight into my view of "the one".

[totoro]

Who would take care of the kids? I have four and am an INTJ and love being a mother. INTJs, in my experience, are excellent and devoted parents. I love helping my children succeed in life and cooking for them and facilitating their friendships.

As for INTJ and INTJ being too similar. Maybe sometimes but I'm gathering from this forum that INTJ's are pretty diverse as well. I am a nurturer of my home and family. Many on this forum don't want a family or conventional home. I am terrible with computers - lots here seem like geniuses. A lot of posters are very academic, I've got a high level of education but I spend my free time reading teen fantasy.

What I do know for sure is that to find a high degree of compatibility and not have conflict with your partner is a blessing.

[DrCiao]

Originally Posted by dennisevans To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I do not believe in the idea of an individual person that completes you. I do however believe that there are many many people that, given the right circumstances, could be just the person you're looking for at that point in time in your life. Recently I heard a story on NPR about a man and a woman who were in a relationship for 3 years or something, about to be married, but they wanted one last chance to make sure they really loved each other. They decided to take a 30 day break from each other before the wedding, have sex with as many people as they could, and see if they still wanted to get married. Long story short, the guy fell in love with another girl, his first girlfriend understood they broke off the wedding and he proceeded to get married to the other girl later on but is still extremely close with the girl whom he was engaged to. The still talk all the time. This is the kind of relationship I'd like, this is the kind of person I'm looking to meet, the first girl not the second. I'd like someone that will be close to me, understand that even though I'm 22 this is my first relationship and that it shouldn't be expected to work out and she shouldn't expect to have me forever. I'd like to be able to mutually end a relationship and still be close friends like I am with a girl I've known since I was 8. I'd never want to fuck up a relationship like that, I would however like to be given the chance to prove that I'm much more stable and in control than I sometimes seem. I'm aware much of this is divergent of the topic, but maybe it gives some insight into my view of "the one".

If a couple wants to take a break- it usually means the relationship is already over. Perhaps they were getting married for the wrong reasons- social pressure, family, what they thought they had to do etc yet they "cared and loved" each other.

That is not what I'm really talking about. Of course no one gets married at 22, unless they have short foresight- although I think there may be exceptions. The kind of love I think you're trying to refer to is the agape kind- the sacrificial love in which you wish the best for your partner, even if it won't be with you.

[Moxiie]

I'm curious (and relatively new to this whole forum MBTI thing) Do people actually base their emotional decisions based on the outcome of a typology test?

I've two absolutely wonderful relationships, turns out (retrospectively) that one was an INTJ and the other ISFP. I will say that the intensity of the intuitive (and physical) connection with the INTJ was far deeper (again retrospectively) than with the ISFP. I find that I am definitely more attracted to NTJ's...but again, I usually find this out afterwards, so I imagine there's something to it.

But I would never NOT date someone based on a test. Pfft. I don't date based on types but can say that I have only dated introverts...period. Not sure why that is. (maybe because my E/I are essentially equal, but do tend to view the world through a Ne lens a bit more)

Meh. Love is love is love

[DrCiao]

Originally Posted by Moxiie To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I'm curious (and relatively new to this whole forum MBTI thing) Do people actually base their emotional decisions based on the outcome of a typology test? I've two absolutely wonderful relationships, turns out (retrospectively) that one was an INTJ and the other ISFP. I will say that the intensity of the intuitive (and physical) connection with the INTJ was far deeper (again retrospectively) than with the ISFP. I find that I am definitely more attracted to NTJ's...but again, I usually find this out afterwards, so I imagine there's something to it. But I would never NOT date someone based on a test. Pfft. I don't date based on types but can say that I have only dated introverts...period. Not sure why that is. (maybe because my E/I are essentially equal, but do tend to view the world through a Ne lens a bit more) Meh. Love is love is love

Mbti is by no means an end all, my point is that after time one can determine how people will interact based on a variety of methodology including personality type. For us, personality type of the woman matters less than how hot she is
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[Moxiie]

	Originally Posted by DrCiao To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Mbti is by no means an end all, my point is that after time one can determine how people will interact based on a variety of methodology including personality type. For us, personality type of the woman matters less than how hot she is To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Completely agree - I found out their types long after we had discontinued our relationship. But in looking back realized just how "typed" they were and how their individual behaviors did ring true to their MBTI.

I also believe that this isn't a hard, fast rule (that sounded dirty!) and that upbringing, cultural prevalence and a myriad of other factors also play into the personality development.

As a side note, thank god I'm hot and intelligent. Appears to give me an edge with you picky INTJ cats. lol. (See? INTJ's aren't the only ones with a corner on the arrogance market..)

[rhee]

	Originally Posted by Async To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I don't think I would want an INTJ or ENTJ as a partner. It is great to hang out with an intj/entj but life partner? Who would be the caregivers for the kids? To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. .

I'm an INTJ married to an ENTJ and I can assure you our kids are well cared for.
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My attraction for my husband was instant. We meshed well mentally and physically and I consider him my "soul mate". It doesn't mean our relationship is all flowers and chocolate. Any relationship requires work and experiences conflict. However, we deal with our issues in a similar manner and have very similar values. I personally do not see myself with anyone else.

[krisl]

NT guys tend to attract me, once we've talked enough for me to realize they are. I think it's partially like it must feel to be a foreign land and meet someone from the same country you're from. It's like meeting someone who speaks your language. Meeting someone who gets ideas the same way I do. I think a strong perceiving type would drive me crazy as a significant other. I'm fairly flexible, but I'm not really spontaneous.

So for those reasons, I think an INTJ or ENTJ might be great for me, but it would depend on a lot of other factors. We'd need to have a lot of other things in common.

[HAL 9000]

I find I click best with female INXX's.

[idoj]

I seem to have a lot of friends that read and have cats... Thoughtful funny people
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[stealthfighter]

I think I met mine during my first year in college but was never really interested in pursuing a relationship with anyone so there was really no connection between us. She does seem like an introverted type and I thought I won't be able to meet anyone like her. Even now, almost 10 years after first seeing her, I still can't stop thinking that she's the perfect woman for me.

[krisl]

stealthfighter, have you tried finding her on facebook? I've connected with a lot of old friends that way.

[stealthfighter]

	Originally Posted by krisl To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	stealthfighter, have you tried finding her on facebook? I've connected with a lot of old friends that way.

I'm not fond of social networks but I did found her profile. Didn't bother to find out more about her anymore as I really don't think of myself as interested in a formal commitment. Besides, she seems to be happy and stable in her current relationship. I've been trying for years to move away from my feelings for her by focusing on my career. Even if I get to be engaged in a relationship, I probably won't manage to forget her as the "could have been" woman for me.