[Zhen]

Originally Posted by elTee13 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

In my case it was similar to Distance's description in that I waited until it was too late, finally gave up on ever finding someone, then caught the eye of a very promiscuous ESFP. She had a rep but I lived 300 miles away and didn't know it, we kind of accidentally got engaged because I was being flippant and she called my bluff. I swear, it was almost exactly like To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. . 136 days from meet to marriage. My family was relieved, thought I'd die a bachelor. Her parents bit their tongues, it was only 115 days between their meeting and marriage. I did have misgivings and broached the subject of delaying or calling it off but profuse tears made me drop it. Stupid stupid stupid!

lol let us all learn from each others INTJ retard mistakes
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Interestingly I've also noticed the opposite issue that couples that date for ages tend to get divorced several years later because they should have called it quits when they were having issues already rather than try to think they could "work it out"...

---------- Post added 02-11-2012 at 11:19 AM ----------

Originally Posted by Rationality To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Yes, I agree. Marriages work when the 2 people in it make it happen. If you view it as a life partnership and not a dreamy fairy-tale romance, you'll have a better chance of staying together. My husband and I met online. In 1 month and 2 weeks we were living together and engaged. We didn't marry legally until years later because the piece of paper was meaningless beyond the legal/social implications (taxes and Social Security, the right to make medical decisions for one another, travel on a spouse visa possible) but if we had there would have been no difference. It doesn't take that long to determine fundamental compatibility. I can eliminate the vast majority of the population with a handful of basic questions. Our marriage isn't perfect but we've been together for 12+ years so I definitely think it's possible.

I'm actually starting to observe this....which is why I actually think if you don't know by within a year then you probably aren't compatible enough to last a good marriage anyway...some people have said that this observation about KNOWING whether someone is compatible very quickly is "not giving people a chance" and being too judgemental and close minded...

---------- Post added 02-11-2012 at 11:21 AM ----------

Originally Posted by DelphianEtude To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I believe quick marriages can be successful. I couldn't do it myself without a 2 month plan before even knowing who though. And there's a LOT I'd have to know about somebody before even considering a long term relationship, let alone a marriage. It's not really my thing. My parents were married within 7 months of meeting each other, and are still together after over 35 years. It wasn't always picture perfect, and even growing up with them I could tell they both worked hard to maintain it at times. They were a bit on the older side before their marriage though, so I suspect societal pressure may have had something to do with them getting married as quickly as they did.

I think the older and more experienced you are the less risky it is...because you know yourself and what you want better...I got married as a clueless child...disaster was inevitable...