[Bisclavret]

...Whoops, wrong thread!

INTJ women are probably fascinating in person, as they are online, though the odds of engaging one is rather slim. Since I don't approach women, and they typically don't approach men, we'd have to be trapped in an elevator or in a similar circumstance to even acknowledge eachother's existence.

[sms444]

I used to be in a relationship with an INTJ woman. Probably the most compatible person I've ever met and it likely wouldn't have ended but for distance.

[katwalker]

I'm pretty sure I put off a very "submissive" vibe a lot of the time, probably due to my tendency to avoid eye contact. This hypothesis is based soley on the fact that a large proportion of the men that hit on me are either my father's age (ew!) or foreign (as in Middle Eastern or Asian, which I would guess means they like submissive women). What a shock they'd all be in for!

[Tigey]

	Originally Posted by katwalker To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm pretty sure I put off a very "submissive" vibe a lot of the time, probably due to my tendency to avoid eye contact. This hypothesis is based soley on the fact that a large proportion of the men that hit on me are either my father's age (ew!) or foreign (as in Middle Eastern or Asian, which I would guess means they like submissive women). What a shock they'd all be in for!

I see where you are coming from. I apparently have a cute vibe because I am petite and Indian. People expect me to be quiet and submissive. But they run for the hedges when I open by mouth because I pride myself on my razor tongue :D

[Tough Love]

	Originally Posted by Silverity To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	To be honest I've never noticed an overwhelming like or love for women in general on this forum, let alone INTJ women.

''Women suck''

Response: All hell let loose

''Women suck... Except INTJ women''

Response: Oh yeh, we totally get you!

[SeverusSin]

Originally Posted by Large Coffee To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Speak for yourself, I am a goddamn amazing catch in looks, brains, and personality. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. In all seriousness, attractiveness is subjective to the eye of the beholder. I would easily suggest that for the average member of the population, the INTJ is like a hidden bear trap of logic, wit, and intelligence. It's not always apparent that there's a deep well of, well, everything inside, and the moment someone taps into it, s/he's unprepared to deal with it. The select few that stick around, drill for more, and will love you for it, though? Definitely worth the time.

Personally I agree with this, I have not managed to categorise any of the females I've previously interacted with into the MBTI type INTJ. I would also say that many INTJ traits (male or female) are below the surface and are not as easy to spot as extrovertly expressed traits.

That said, the woman who I know fits the mould the closest is my mother and I do not think I would be able to detect this upon first encounter but then I am her son and that valuation is extremely subjective, maybe I'll get her to take the test.

[UnrequitedMind]

Originally Posted by Thinktress To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I tend to think that I'm not on the same page with a lot of INTJ men. I'm a lot more traditional, but then I'm not. Actually, scratch that. I'm just really confusing for most men. And I tend to like kind of dominant men, and dominant men don't really like me because I seem very aggressive in some ways, while looking very feminine... I don't know. Damn... I need to call my boyfriend back and apologize even though it was totally his fault. I just realized how bad it is out there.

Your whole thought process there was awesome lol. When I think about it though,
it seems like you are being pulled in two directions. I wonder if there is a guy out
there who can meet both for you, and if there is what are the odds that you would
ever meet him.

[catatonic]

I am meaner offline, but I always be in a relationship.
I don't know what kinda sorcery is that.

[Hewholistens]

I find that most people who like you don't tell you because you seem aloof or stand offish and that comes across as intimidating. Women who display INTJ like behavior might discourage guys because they think you are some bitch or something. It might simply be that INTJ women are intimidating.

[Bisclavret]

Introverts, and especially the NT variety are some of the toughest nuts to crack. I would know since I am one. The thing with introverts is that you generally have to approach them to get you to acknowledge your existence at all, which is something that another introvert just isn't programmed to do, especially when it looks like they are intent on not beeing disturbed (on penalty of death).

As an introvert I tend to repel introverts, and attract extroverts, just like two electrical positive or negative charges repel eachother, and opposite charges attract.

[DeadIdealist]

Yeah, I definitely scare (annoy? aggravate?) people IRL more...

No, I do not know why I quoted everyone in this thread.

I had 2 beers now...

Btw, can someone explain to me what a death glare is? I have a theory on what it means (see below) but not sure.

	Originally Posted by sevans To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Personally, I tend to see other people who have a death glare before I see anyone else, I pick people who are angry or introverted out of a crowd like it's my job.

I'm actually beginning to do this... because I often get the inverse results from it. "approachable" people are frequently pretty mean and only want to be friends with specific cool people. On the other hand, this guy who had a death glare of "FUCK OFF" on his fact is extremely kind so far.

	Originally Posted by Large Coffee To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I would easily suggest that for the average member of the population, the INTJ is like a hidden bear trap of logic, wit, and intelligence. It's not always apparent that there's a deep well of, well, everything inside, and the moment someone taps into it, s/he's unprepared to deal with it.

I feel this is very true for me... sometimes, I have trouble dealing with it. In fact, many people here are very smart, but still. Every time I talk to them, I feel like I am giving them too much shit. I remember speaking to this guy about stuff and he was just lost after a while.

I have to slow down and stick to simple terms but instead I go off on tangents about all the random crap I apparently know about so much random stuff. o.O

	Originally Posted by Large Coffee To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	The select few that stick around, drill for more, and will love you for it, though? Definitely worth the time.

Seems like those are the sort of people I tend to stick with, as well. People who are more appearance-based and shallow usually think I am someone completely different.

	Originally Posted by Tigey To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Contrary to the image I am painting, I look and dress very feminine which misleads people.

Yep. I sometimes go off into my more tomboy side, but generally I am just this "cute tiny little quiet girl with a scared look on her face", who later proceeds to: "What the fuck is this I'm outta here!" for various reasons...

	Originally Posted by katwalker To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm pretty sure I put off a very "submissive" vibe a lot of the time, probably due to my tendency to avoid eye contact.

Yup. It's a nice mix of contradictions.

People who do decide to bother with me don't regret it, though. :P

	Originally Posted by JC22 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Maybe you should help it by posting P-I-C-T-U-R-E-S to illustrate exactly what one should be looking for.

I thought you were the one who didn't want a girlfriend? And see what plotthickens said.

Some of us are more... discrete, with where our pictures end up...

	Originally Posted by Beric To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I don't recognize you guys. Speak up! Engage intellectually.

Meh. I've been doing that. I'm afraid most do not want us. Generally, if you give people an easy way out and wave that you are right fucking here they'll go ahead and ignore it.

And why the hell are so many of you in California? People seriously need to spread out more. California is already overpacked. We need more people in Atlanta and Seattle.

Originally Posted by plotthickens To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Unless you have (insert quality/physical attribute man in question is driving for, and even then they'll ask you to prove it/insist it's not relevant/make a creeptasticly awful response). Example: Women are such idiots. All they want is money. I don't. I have my own and don't need a man with money. You wouldn't PM me your contact information even if I BEGGED. I wish I could meet an INTJ woman! We exist. Hi. You're probably ugly and dress bad. How come nice women are so ugly and pretty women are such bitches? INTJs say what they mean and mean what they say and I'm an example. You're not representative of the population, my gross generalization stands. Answer to all of these: You're correct! Enjoy being single, you dork.

This. And reminds me again of that time when I asked out this guy who complained about women valuing men for their salary. I deliberately paid for my share of the dinner. Did he give a shit? No. Figure out what you really want, please.

	Originally Posted by DoubleEntendre To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I think that there is this stigma, among women even, that unless you are an emotional wreck that you have to be a cold-hearted bitch.

Hmm, I'm both. What now?

	Originally Posted by Beric To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If you INTJ women never speak up in the first place, I have no real way to knowing your personality. Unfortunately, it takes a little small talk to get to that point. I'm not going to open a conversation by asking, "are you a fellow nerd?" Intentionally starting/joining conversations with the intent of making them more intellectual is a useful skill, I've found.

Tbh, while spotting a specific INTJ may be difficult, spotting 'different' people, isn't. I may not be showing my INTJness outwardly, but I am certainly very different from others on the surface. If you look for people who are strange you may find them. People who try to pretend will always look different from naturals.

	Originally Posted by Deliberator To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Many of us either have weird difficult-to-interpret social behaviors or have developed a facade that makes it easier to get along with most people, thus hiding our true selves.

Guilty.

	Originally Posted by Deliberator To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Even INTJ-loving men may find that the woman who smiles at him seems more attractive then the woman who doesn't.

Hey, I smile at my men.

Sometimes.

My old ex said he always liked acting silly around me because it made me smile and he liked seeing me smile.

	Originally Posted by sms444 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I used to be in a relationship with an INTJ woman. Probably the most compatible person I've ever met and it likely wouldn't have ended but for distance.

My best relationship was with someone I suspected to be an INTP. Don't have much of an opinion on others.

	Originally Posted by Hewholistens To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I find that most people who like you don't tell you because you seem aloof or stand offish and that comes across as intimidating. Women who display INTJ like behavior might discourage guys because they think you are some bitch or something. It might simply be that INTJ women are intimidating.

Heard it, guys? LOOK FOR WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE BITCHES!

[PhilipJFry]

I honestly think we should all wear INTJ t-shirts when possible.

I'm.. not sure if I'm kidding.

[Makira]

As a INTJ woman, men hit on me pretty often in RL. It usually ends by me teaching them on how to properly hit on a woman in an intelligent and respectful manner.

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[sircockburn]

Myownlittlefungus,

You INTJs don't register on compasses, period! We can't see you, which is also why you're all serial killers.

[YupItsMe]

	Originally Posted by mllebrie To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm pretty convinced that women--any women--just scare the bejeebies out of men. We ladies probably seem more "attractive" on here because we are comfortable discussing things like ideas. If this were all about hotness, we'd probably be less comfortable and less attractive.

Then you need to get out more and spend time with men that arent pathetic.

These overgeneralizations tarring everyone with the same brush are totally absurd

[Bluesea]

	Originally Posted by Gloed To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	intj women can't give. that's why it's smart to stay away from them. even if they don'y mean to : they don'y give... and that's detrimental to ones self-esteem : stay away and save yourself!! they have been hurt or scared too bad...

Talking about ridiculous over generalisations ... how many have you dated to note this as the norm with INTJ women? If, even, the one you did date was an INTJ, or perhaps was just someone who was not that into you or not ready for what you wanted.

Perhaps we should get teeshirts and bumper stickers with this warning, might be quite funny
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[savichick]

They only like us in theory.

It's ridiculous, the number of guy friends that I've had talk to me about how much they hate overly-dramatic, overly-emotional, impossible to understand, psychotic girls, and how it would be such a relief to find a girl who has a brain and can still use it in a relationship setting. But in the end, they end up with ditzy, cute, and crazy. It's what they really want. The few short relationships I've had have ended when the guy got weirded out by my lack of psychotic, girly episodes. I even freaked one guy out during the breakup simply because I didn't cry. I think it scares them, intimidates them. At least psycho girlfriends give guys something to complain about to their other guy friends. And insecure, dumb girls make guys feel more secure and more in control.

[Distance]

From the pics thread of the membership, INTJf women aren't much different than other types, in that they vary in attractiveness level and varying style.

Much like INTJ men, if INTJ women were to get out and connect with others more, there'd be fewer single INTJs.

[RationallyAlpha]

Originally Posted by Tigey To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I mean private in the sense of these anonymous internet forums. The men here and in other forums are always saying how much they love INTJ women. But in the public I don't think we INTJ women get the same sense. Rather, I am convinced (from personal experience) that we terrify men more often than not. Is is the incapability to recognize INTJ women in public or do you guys just like us in theory? Of course this is for those who actually like INTJ women, not for those you who hate us. In which case, excuse you To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

For me, the INTJ traits are attractive for a suitable partner/companion/mate but just because someone is an INTJ doesn't mean I am going to be attracted to them automatically. The attractiveness comes from my high standards and by being an INTJ they have already met some of my standards more then the other personality types.

The difficulty in public vs private such as with my case, is that in public I am looking for the INTJ girl (which is difficult for many reasons), in public I come off as extroverted, confident, and dominant but INTJ women don't seem to be looking for the ENTJ but if I act like my normal INTJ then they wouldn't be able to find me. While in private with fellow INTJs we get along great, have wonderful conversations, treat each other as intellectual equals even tho I tend to be more dominant. (But to clarify I am interested in the Alpha females, but I want to be their Alpha male)

INTJ women are desirable in public and private, but due to how rare and introverted INTJs are to find in public compared to the abundance of INTJs on this forum (private) seems more to exemplify that INTJ women tend to be more dominant and scare less dominant men off, but INTJ men like to take charge and have a challenge while other types can be more prone to not being challenged for dominance. This is why it can seem that INTJ women may seem less desirable in public.

[Antares]

Originally Posted by Tigey To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I mean private in the sense of these anonymous internet forums. The men here and in other forums are always saying how much they love INTJ women. But in the public I don't think we INTJ women get the same sense. Rather, I am convinced (from personal experience) that we terrify men more often than not. Is is the incapability to recognize INTJ women in public or do you guys just like us in theory? Of course this is for those who actually like INTJ women, not for those you who hate us. In which case, excuse you To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I'm not attractive at all in public. Despite being told I have an attractive face, men rarely hit on me. Most girls can hook up pretty easily but for me, even if I try, it happens several times a year at most. I think it's because I'm standoffish and very visibly in my own world: book in hand, music playing. My mother told me whenever she sees me like that it's always the "don't interrupt me if you value your life" vibe she gets. When people interrupt me, I fix them this stare because I'm trying to get a sense of who wants what from me, but my mother gets very offended at the look and she says it's hostile. I don't mean to project such an image, but that doesn't mean I don't do it.

In social situations I'm not very approachable. I never really know what to say and because of that, I turn on my music and pretend not to notice anyone. I was discussing two INTJs with some people, and I commented that they would be very compatible, but I don't see how I can even get the two of them to start talking to each other, and I think I have the same dilemma.

I'm attracted to the idea of an INTJ man too, but I would never make the first move and he wouldn't either. The few INxx I've been attracted to were all too shy to do anything, and needless to say I was too shy too. So we end up having an extremely close friendship- closer than most romantic relationships, while neither side does anything.

[RationallyAlpha]

	Originally Posted by Antares To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm attracted to the idea of an INTJ man too, but I would never make the first move and he wouldn't either. The few INxx I've been attracted to were all too shy to do anything, and needless to say I was too shy too. So we end up having an extremely close friendship- closer than most romantic relationships, while neither side does anything.

While I agree many INTJs are shy, not all of us are. Through being raised by a Fe mother I was raised to be outgoing and I have met a few others that have also been quite outgoing (actually I have met more(2) outgoing INTJs in person then shy(1) INTJs) but while I am in social settings I do not seem to be the typical INTJ until I am in small group of intelligent friends or in a 1 on 1 setting.

As for "neither side does anything" I can relate that to not wanting to take the risk in ruining the rare relationship with fellow INTJs for what would appear to be a slim possibility for additional benefits.

Also, as a side note my extroverted *public* personality seems to me to push away other INTJs so I haven't had many relationships with shy INTJs and I am curious as to how they often progress in person.

[jillINTJ]

	Originally Posted by Gloed To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	intj women can't give. that's why it's smart to stay away from them. even if they don'y mean to : they don'y give... and that's detrimental to ones self-esteem : stay away and save yourself!! they have been hurt or scared too bad...

Really?! ... I mean really?!? In my past relationships I repeatedly gave too much, to compensate, probably, for being an INTJ woman who cannot get accepted any other way ...

[catzama]

Hahahaha nobody loves you!

[The Dan Keizer]

You know what's funny is the INTJ males that I know in my life, I can read them probably better than I can read anybody else. I can tell what mood they are in, if they like something or not, if they are lying or not, all that. Even the couple INTJ males I know but I am not very well acquainted with, I still feel like I can read them and they can read me.

But the couple females I can think of that I believe were INTJs, I can't figure them out to the point that it is frustrating. Conversations are painful with them because it is always both sides trying to figure out what the other is thinking and it becomes like a shitty chess match.

I still love them, though.

[Traverser]

Originally Posted by Beric To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I think the big problem is you guys' 'I'. I'm taking an extra effort to meet people as of late. If you INTJ women never speak up in the first place, I have no real way to knowing your personality. Unfortunately, it takes a little small talk to get to that point. I'm not going to open a conversation by asking, "are you a fellow nerd?" Intentionally starting/joining conversations with the intent of making them more intellectual is a useful skill, I've found.

I share the same perspective. On top of INTJ women being ultra rare (which is saying a lot since most INTJs are male), the vast majority don't seem interested in taking initiative when it comes to dating. Granted, an INTJ is more likely to act outside the status quo, but females in general (with few exceptions) don't have a strong incentive to do otherwise. And why should they? Just look at online dating sites, for example.