[Zsych]

The focus here is controlling how you feel inside. And a lot of people here seem unhappy due to not being accepted. They'll be more genuinely happier once they are more accepted.

Being happy or being positive are ways you can choose to feel.

[Angelos]

I'd say to be interesting in any way. Any eccentrities, when not taken too far, draw people in. Being fun is also guaranteed success. It's got a lot to do with local culture though.

I can guarantee that to some people a slight air of melancholy is excellent. Some people are what I like to call ''saviours'', they like to help people with problems and get a boost to themselves about it. It depends on the individual.

[BellaBianca]

	Originally Posted by Angelos To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Some people are what I like to call ''saviours'', they like to help people with problems and get a boost to themselves about it. It depends on the individual.

Yes, and they are sooo pissed off when you don't invite them in!

There are people out there who will be insulted when someone wants to deal with their problems on their own....

[ms infp]

	Originally Posted by elizabeth lover To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	maybe i'm just better at prediction than you. hmmmm?

Originally Posted by cannotseethe To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

You do have a point. There is a fine line between confidence and manipulativeness, or between confidence and obliviousness. I think some of the reactions against flattery we've seen in the thread are indicative of a skepticism meant to protect against the manipulative/oblivious people who employ it. If the aim is presentation of a self that strikes others in a pleasant way, one would do well to avoid risking these negative labels when interacting with a person who'd readily apply them. I'd say it's much the same as the distinction between smiling with genuine happiness vs. affecting a permasmile because gramma said you should always smile. You're done as soon as someone detects the fake.

That's just it. The negative labels would not be necessary in the first place when meeting someone who is genuine.

EL asserts that we will fall for the fake's game every time, only to consider the facade later.

[irini]

I have a general urge of feeling positive inside. That helps me to approach people easily. I don't know, but it seems that possitive thought migh be "contagion"-if you know how to deal with people.
I don't like the word "shell" for intimate relationships though. We don't shell and buy in such relationships. We give and take. We exchange, maybe. Exchange opinions, feelings, support, ideas. The most successful is that exchange the most succesfull is the relationship.

[katrin]

As an introvert, I'm not inclined to want to get to know everyone I see or meet. However, I am inclined to find things to like about nearly everyone I see or meet. I'm also inclined to compliment people on things I like about them and to be supportive of my acquaintances and friends. None of that is fake.

I'm not an unconfident person but I do have a tendency toward self-deprecating humor. I try to tone that down when meeting new people so that I can appear fairly neutral--not under- or over- confident.

As for being "fun", I can be fun but usually I am more relaxed and fun around people I've gotten to know at least a little. Around complete strangers I may seem shy. Not necessarily for very long though. With the right "click" here or there, I can let go of my reserve.