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That seems to happen a lot. Most of the international couples I know end up speaking only one language or the other. Recently my wife and I have implemented an 'English day' once a week, partly so our hypothetical child could have a bilingual advantage.
Paul, I'm praying and hoping you and your family feel comfort. Sometimes when I've gone through difficult times and want to feel some serenity, one of the songs I like is: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=82xxh-k18tw