Visitor Messages

Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 20 of 2281
  1. Iota Null
    Today 07:25 PM
    Iota Null
    Nah, it's fine. I have mentioned this a lot before, but I know you don't read my blog much. Long story short, it's difficult for me to find single women, it's difficult for me to find assertive ones (especially ones who have an interest in taking control in bed), it's difficult for me to find women I like, and ridiculously difficult to find someone who meets all three conditions. I thought the last (and so far only) girl I dated did, but that didn't work out and she really wasn't as assertive as I'd initially hoped.
  2. Iota Null
    Today 07:14 PM
    Iota Null
    Finding an assertive woman? Believe me, I've been trying.
  3. Mattandsuch
    Today 06:26 PM
    Mattandsuch
    I know ! This is the best one yet !
  4. Mattandsuch
    Today 05:43 PM
    Mattandsuch
    Such jelly
  5. Zsych
    Today 04:45 PM
    Zsych
    heh.
  6. Zsych
    Today 04:38 PM
    Zsych
    My mom has an English Lit. masters
  7. Zsych
    Today 04:33 PM
    Zsych
    What exactly is your field?

    (And I personally think that your personality sounds plenty fine )
  8. Rudy
  9. Rudy
    Today 04:25 PM
    Rudy commented on The Magic Words are Squeamish Ossifrage
    You missed about 3,000 posts of him saying that such women are inconceivably rare. :/
  10. Zsych
    Today 04:16 PM
    Zsych
    There's always that difference between "Will do", "Will do well", and "Will do amazingly".

    I think there are definitely professors that have stronger reputations for being effective in conveying things in various ways and that are thus more sought after.
  11. Zsych
    Today 12:45 AM
    Zsych
    I think the underlying reason to the issue in both of these last posts is: The need for other people to recognizably and predictably be certain kinds of people... If you assume a more primitive level of intelligence in the group as a whole, being able to depend on someone holding a certain view or core set of qualities and not changing, simplifies managing your interaction with them and lets you put them in a certain "bucket" of "Type of person with x characteristics" (objectification makes people easier to deal with in the real world )

    An intellectual / scientist type, typically must be more changeable, at least within certain areas, or he can't do his job meaningfully (because we are often not yet near the point of approaching dependability, when we are in a context where things are uncertain and new ideas need testing)... Even with us though, the ability to react positively to your team members, and maybe be naturally inclined to teach and mentor (taking more direct interest in the needs of individuals), is a useful preference for contributors to teams.

    What the guy's essay shows is less emotional holding back in sharing. Like say if you're a genius and understand what people around you need to know. Are you naturally inclined to share or maybe go give lectures in ways that help the spread of the key aspects of your understanding? (I can honestly tell you that I share up to a point and generally not stuff I consider brilliant, not unless I expect at least some decent return for what I offer (with exceptions made for people in desperate situations))

    --

    There is a context where no team skills might be needed in certain individuals. That requires superior skills by whoever is managing the person and coordinating the overall effort, or better defined and specialized, pre-existing organizational structure (just a more controlled and specialized environment - likely dedicated to specific kinds of tasks where roles also are more specific)... Pretty cool if your company could automatically handle someone being a douche and still get him to perform at his best for the team as a whole
  12. Zsych
    Yesterday 12:34 PM
    Zsych
    I like the formality...
  13. Zsych
    Yesterday 02:42 AM
    Zsych
    In regards to your Harvard question, since we didn't finish that discussion: The essay is like a cover letter with your resume - a chance to speak and differentiate yourself (although I honestly write my resume with a focus on the various aspects of things I've done... and have considered adding supplementary case studies to help give people insight into how I actually do things and what matters to me, so there is more clarity on how we can really work together)

    And, going back to the priority of not just getting people in Harvard who will get good GPAs, but also ones who will actually be successful, be valuable to the network, maybe help bring additional funding to Harvard itself: You're looking for qualities that identify real world success... As it happens, GPA has been found to have almost no correlation with work performance and real life success, so in being practical - they do have to prioritize other variables also (The academic environment just has a very weak correlation with how things work in the business world... that was one of the points I wanted you to see in the article I gave you a link to earlier).
  14. Zsych
    Yesterday 01:59 AM
    Zsych
    I think there are aspects of our intelligence that certainly facilitate working with other people. "Interpersonal intelligence" - but I think that what that mostly is, is being more in tune with your own feelings and older human instincts so that you can connect more easily with those who share similar feelings and instincts.

    If you don't leverage your instincts and your own feelings, it takes a far higher level of intellect to rationally understand how those things work, and then alter your habits to effectively leverage your knowledge in ways that benefit you or get you what you want.

    (And then there's the problem of whether or not you take responsibility for your problems and thus put the burden of action on yourself or not - when things aren't going your way - most people don't seem to like changing or accepting that they might be at fault and that the burden of change is on them :) )
  15. Zsych
    Yesterday 01:56 AM
    Zsych
    Most sales people, for example, develop much better social skills over time (or at least ones that get them profit somewhat consistently - even if they can't make every sale).
  16. Zsych
    Yesterday 01:53 AM
    Zsych
    Don't think they'd be able to stay at the job if they didn't have "basic social skills" (that goes more to the "as good as you've had to be and, refined by different experiences dealing with people in situations where you have to get them to be comfortable or buy into what you want" issue)
  17. Zsych
    Yesterday 01:44 AM
    Zsych
    Us would be most people. Most people stick to some range of behavior that works for them, some groups of people they can relate to, and don't really easily adapt much to handle people that don't fall within that range.

    Someone with what are commonly seen as good people skills - may still not be able to relate to a strong intellectual or their perspective enough to be able to change their mind on something (approaches refined by working with certain kinds of groups don't always translate to other groups - and what are typically considered good people skills are more targeted at the mainstream population )

    ... Naturally there would be variation in skill levels and ability to adapt - in part defined by the spread of people you've really had to deal with and learned to get buy in from ... but most people don't really need to be able to work with all kinds of people (although if they are forced to, and it matters enough, they may adapt their strategies to handle new groups that appear to really matter in their lives)... You might also not be able to use a single strategy to simultaneously deal with conflicting groups, or certain groups in specific situations (so there are also environmental factors - that need to be controlled).
  18. Zsych
    Yesterday 01:38 AM
    Zsych
    As with most things, one adapts if one has to

    In reality, most people don't really matter enough to us in our lives, to force us to up our game.

    -

    And what've you been up to? New, kinda hot avatar, I see... This one looks like she's in more of a hard to get mood...
  19. Zsych
  20. anticlimatic
    08-28-2014 07:01 PM
    anticlimatic
    Click the image to open in full size.

About Me

  • About Madden
    Biography
    always questioning
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    Female
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    University Professor
  • Personality
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