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The private boundary thing is something that will vary from INFP to INFP, but it's generally our feelings, and by that I mean valuations, not emotions. The more important, sacred even, something is to you, the less you'll talk about it as a Fi-dom. The closer you get to someone, the more they may hear about it though.
A lot of it depends on how accepting someone seems they'll be of what I think, or if I think their eyes won't glaze over if I go into theorizing mode.
Not evoking strange feelings because I don't touch many people. I have to get to trust you first.
How long has it been since you too have seen each other? Could that be why she made the greeting a little less personal? Also is she dating someone now so she doesn't want to hug another male?
No, I am not advising you. I am simply saying that if you are unhappy with how things stand then it is within your power to do something about it. I know not the situation, but it seems to be less than ideal.