Hey, just sending you a message to see how you are doing. I remember we exchanged messages a while back but I got busy and didn't have time to respond and things trailed off. Anyway I hope you are doing well.

Doesn't LA have a huge social scene?

who else is in Washington?

Yeah, I would agree that too much isolation is bad for a person, and I also feel empathy for those who are suffering alone.

where?

*hint* it's on each members profile page.

Okay cool glad you feel okay, it's just so odd with that one.

The thread from last month is what made me give up on trying to just play nice with him, and that's why this-go-round I wanted to confront him with his .
own quotes to show how antisocial they are.

You may be on to something regarding the idealization of women from tv/movie/comics.

I would caution meeting anyone from the forum, you never how people turn out in real life, so be careful and really make sure people are safe before meeting ones from here, or anywhere else. I think you said you're working on gender modification? Take it slow and take care of yourself!

Well, the people who cling to tradition will claim that it is the elders who are supposed to decide who marries whom due to their superior wisdom. Of course elders merely act in their best interest but respect for elders also seems to be hard coded into many people here to the point where they cannot think of any other way to live.

I didn't know Philippines was such a conservative country - admittedly my only knowledge of the place comes from watching Filipino porn, which is hardly a reliable guide. Seeing the outside world does open eyes for many people, but even there I am continuously surprised by how narrow-minded and conservative some people can be. I can never forget my MBA classmate who had travelled the world, dressed with accessories from Paris, but still insisted that it was a husband's right to beat his wife. She didn't really seem to think that she was being treated like a servant in her in-laws place - in her eyes being married was the pinnacle of achievement for a woman and it should be maintained at all cost, even if the cost was the loss of identity, dignity or even life itself.

Plus he stated several times he hates ENFP's, and ONLY respects INTJ females.

He's playing you.

Just read that thread I put up, or the ones on the INFJ site. The directions to that bloodbath are at the end of his "Are All INFJ Crazy" thread.

Women have a hard enough time in this world, trying to get our lives together, figure out who deserves our love, figure out how to be good to those we care about......last thing we need is a man full of conditions on how we can be "good enough" to him to "earn" his respect.

Just take us as we are or go away. Life is hard enough.

Ugh RedN, don't fall for his shit.

It's funny how he manufactured this "bullying" he's "protecting" you from......
1.) YOU took issue with his post.
2.) OP then responded back to you, and said he wasn't very offended and he would defend you against anyone.

3.) WTF???

It comes across as a manipulation to coax you to not attacking his illogical views on women.

BTW, RedN, if you and I were are a bar, dressed in sexy dresses and heels, and two guys came up and bought us drinks, and started laughing, flirting, and relaxing......guess WHAT? We would be EXACTLY the "scum" "whores" he detests so much.

Don't fall for it.

Read his last thread:
http://intjforum.com/showthread.php?t=82227&highlight=

It's about 8 pages of the most hateful, woman-bashing, sex loathing stuff you could hope to find on the interwebzz, especially among supposedly rational, logical, reasonable human beings.

OH, i don't know about that, but i just can't stand bullies, especially the kind of lowlife that'd pick on adorable baby bunnies

bumpers

i don't want to date you maybe, but i'm glad you're here, listening to me rant about the sins of emotion. don't take it personally. if anyone wants to start with you, i've got yer back, OK? i don't like any instigators and will be the first to turn "on my own people" when they act up. i don't recall seeing you saying anything controversial and as long as you're not talking trash about individuals, let your rants fly too! go on about how high strung and touchy INTJs can be. it's true, i'm like that. hope you stick around.

It is not only to rich families, the vast majority of marriages here are arranged marriages, even when the marriage is between people of equal financial status at any point on the income spectrum. And yes, such a society is highly restrictive, but the weird thing is that those who are frustrated by these practises when they are young perpetuate them when they become parents themselves. It is like we never learn anything. This country runs on tradition, and questioning such tradition can you get lynched or worse depending on where and how you do it.
The god concept is used to justify anything that people use to control others. By the way which country are you originally from (if you don't mind me asking)?

True, but why should I try that particular experiment? Even without conducting the experiment I could guess that it would result in a range of reactions ranging from amusement/admiration to someone calling security, based on the personality of people around me. If I can already guess the outcome with a fair degree of accuracy what do I learn about the way the world operates that I didn't know before conducting the experiment?
Living with someone... very difficult in my culture, it is socially unacceptable and most prospective partners wouldn't consider it. Most marriages here are arranged marriages. Amongst my friends only one had a love marriage and even she didn't live with her boyfriend even though they were in the UK when they started their relationship and she could have easily done so if she wanted to. Even dating isn't that easy here, though admittedly many do seem to manage it nowadays but I would still say they are a rather small minority.

I read it and it reminded me of when a guy stopped talking to me and was hurt even though I suspected it coming, so I felt for your response.

yes

Well, the point of fun is that what one considers fun varies from person to person. I know the world will not end if I bust a few moves in a public place, but what do I get out of it? It is just not the sort of thing that excites me. I favour solitary pursuits, I go for long walks at sunrise and sunset along the beach (no, really) but by myself, and I only stop to take photos. If anyone stops me for conversation (not that anyone does) I just find it annoying. The one time I went with a girl I spoke about the international price of rice and its effect on developing and underdeveloped economies (true story).
Yes, perhaps my life would be richer with a significant other, but it could just as easily be poorer; there are so many unhappy couples around, and I don't plan to add to their number. If I do find a person with whom I can click... sure, that would be great, but until then I don't have an urge to work on finding such a person. I would rather do things that I enjoy.

With regard to relationships, yes, we have to be know ourselves first before we can set a meaningful goal (of what we seek in someone else). If you are extremely uncomfortable in social situations where the sole purpose is socialising, then even a blind shot takes a lot of effort in stepping out of your comfort zone. I can be very outgoing at the workplace because my job requires me to go around talking to people to get things done and people get to see a side of me they don't otherwise encounter, but put me in an office party with the very same people and I become a wallflower.
I cannot speak much more on relationships never having been in one myself but I can say that I do not seem to need a partner the way many of my friends seem to do, which means that I do not have much of an incentive to push myself out of my comfort zone and pursue someone. As for dancing, I was hoping to dance by myself

The difference between this conversation and posting on forum threads is that the latter is for a larger group, even if it is in response to an individual post, and therefore not personal, similar to how speaking at a meeting isn't socialising, though chatting around a water cooler is. However I do see where you are coming from, and when I spoke of socialising over the internet, I included posting on the forum as well which you can see from my posting record isn't something I do much of.
I completely agree that we all perform in our own way, and we all like to have attention from someone but it is fairly easy to plot a relationship arc in our head, see that it is not going to end well and dismiss that person as a prospect. That the journey might bring more riches than the destination doesn't hold much appeal for those focused on outcomes.
By the way, I do plan to take up dancing some day, and I do joke a lot - in fact in certain circles I am known as a guy who is flippant, irreverent, and never serious. It takes two to tango, and a lot depends on the person with whom I am speaking.

Yes, that is true, though alone doesn't necessarily mean lonely – but going by the R&D topics there are quite a few who are lonely. I do accept your point about trying different things, but for a person like me this conversation with you itself counts as trying something different. It has taken me quite a while to consider socialising over the internet. Being willing to accept someone else into your life, even if it just for a short conversation, requires one to open up, expose oneself, be just a teeny weeny bit vulnerable, as well as expend some effort to be nice. This seems to come easier to some than to others.

Going out to enjoy oneself has become so deeply ingrained in mainstream culture that it has become difficult to avoid it. I have been there, done that, didn't like it and prefer to connect with the world using the internet. I am fairly sure that it would be a similar case for many others here. I do go out occasionally, but not to the kind of places most would want to. I suppose I could be described as reclusive, but it doesn't feel that way to me, I have so much going on inside my head and I just don't need the outside world as much as some others do. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

You aren't seriously suggesting that we get a life, are you?