That sounds great!! I deeply enjoy the little family time I get. I am envious of your fresh start, nothing like the taste of a new challenge!

And thank you for the kind words. I, too, find you the greatest of friends Good luck!!

Happy Holidays, Wolfyx!! I hope you find joy. I know you are at a rough point in your life right now, and I just wanted you to know that I care for you and think about you often.

Decisive yes, organized... not nearly as much as I wish to be. Thatcher's not even in the ballpark. LOL
It's good that you realize these things about yourself. I remember your experimentation. Your open relationship thread was quite entertaining.

I apologize for the ruffling of feathers
Perhaps I should have been more clear. Joker in the sense of seeing the world as the ultimate experiment, not in the sense of a wish to destroy it.
As for Thatcher, I do not own even one pair of shoulder pads.

Did you just call me Margaret Thatcher? Also, you remind me emphatically of my husband...there's hope for you yet!

Interesting. I haven't been following him or know much about him.

Yeah, he does seem a bit emotionally motivated and seems way to deep in his head.

Yeah, this thread has lifted of waaaaaaay out into outer space into some galaxy far far away. I don't know if it's the Ni-Fi loop. I'm not even really sure what he's going on about.

Because I am deer-like.

Good.

If you opened a thread, then talked about your mother and your background, of course, it would be personal. duh! Introspection is like peeling layers. I find that on occasions, I can go deep into an issue then I have to go back up, and reexamine the whole set of problems with a different light. You have capacity for introspection as well as the desire to do that. I have noticed in few threads, sometimes your emotion get ahead of you.

As INTJ, I went through life, got frustrated because people just don't make sense to me. Similarly to how you felt about your mother's actions. It recently dawned on me that if I take people's behaviours and evaluated that against their traits (meaning using different frameworks than the one I used for myself), then their behaviour make totally sense. I think this is the first step of acceptance. Now, if certain behaviour that we don't think it is in the best interest of that person, then maybe we can figure out ways to help the person to get away from such behaviour. However, certain behaviour are perfectly acceptable to them, then it is wise for us to leave those alone.

You realize that your comments came across very harsh to Mayu. Probably it doesn't sound that harsh irl. Some INTJs don't enjoy getting into tit-tat back and forth. However, I have to agree with you that Mayu's comment sounded defeatist. Some people, regardless of their type, came from an abusive backgrounds and it will take them a long time to stand up for themselves. I don't know Mayu's background, though. Not every Fi sounded like that. I am not sure if I agree with you that Fi is responsible for not having objective perspective or willingness to debate. Sometime people engage in non-engaging tactics because they can't be bother or it was their day off. I know I do that sometime. But I feel sorry for anyone who tried to bullied me though. Well, ok, not very sorry at all

before acceptance of others, one starts with acceptance of self. If one doesn't know himself, how could there be acceptance, you may ask? That is the riddle of acceptance, accept without ever knowing for sure.

You're welcome. It is hard for people to challenge their understanding of themselves, probably why many of the exploratory topics do not get much contribution. For some of us, it is in our nature and we've been at it a for more years than most.

"probably only real maturity will help me forget, forgive and accept." May you find what you are looking for. Continue to talk if that helps you. Good luck

but of course, it made perfect sense.

not a problem and you're welcome had a rough childhood myself, and i have been learning how those things can affect different people. so its not specifically emotional intelligence, but more about knowing how emotions can be affected in some situations.

You got me scratching my head. Some of your posts are very level-headed, thoughtful. Ones that referred to your family, not so much. Some of your earlier posts were just full of angst, then you calmed down. What gives?

"I just play dumb" there will always someone dumber than us; the converse is also true;

I barely talked to my parents. Not because I hate them, it just because there are very little to talk about. Recognize that they can't change you, nor you can change them. I know they love me and are going to be there for me. But the cultural gap (believe it or not, it does exist even within family) and life experiences are too large to bridge. Find other things in life to keep you happy.