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I must say for a dude that is only 21? Your very perceptive and way more mature in your outlook wrt dating etc compared to most guys your age.
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lol, I just try not to make the same mistake twice. I think in a way that even though I never dated at all or anything in high school and it kind of sucked, and still have never really been in a relationship, I think I was kind of forced to learn how to find happiness or at least contentment in being single and in my own self. Something I think some people don't learn for a long while.
I had to make the conscious decision to start dating as I came to the conclusion that like some of the other types a relationship wasn't exactly going to fall into my lap or I wasn't just going to stumble into one. I've learned to just treat it like a side project and not get hung up about rejection or you just become more and more bitter and self-defeatist. .