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Unrelated, but sometimes i go through periods of sadness in reminiscing about stuff. I'm not sure what brings it on, but it is Si cognitive mode. It reminds me of Roy in Blade Runner who was nearing his 4 year life cycle: "I want more life...."
I do not like isolation and being alone for some time may contribute to these spells. I was alone for nearly 3 days as wife was out of town. It seems to cause and inner-world to be born and i'm focused on the self - myself. I don't like it. Really. It causes a bit of a disconnect and it's hard to reconnect with people. It's a strange inertia kind of effect it seems. The longer there the deeper you go in. It reminds me the Incredible Shrinking Man. He just kept getting smaller until he couldn't relate to the world.
Tired no. Never. I can work anybody under the table, Stranger. Really.
My unclel-poo was relating on a philosophical tangent of how artificial the 'working' world is. Everyone imbibes it and tells everyone to subscribe to it. It's Gospel because the 'stars and stripes' say so; but the animal kingdom says noooo.
He was quite a character. I watched him weld a swimming pool deck in no time flat. It was a custom creation of tubular steel pipe bent in a curve to wrap around the circumference of the pool. It was overlaid with redwood as a deck material. It was a very creative piece of art with the railings. It was blue welding arc all day and into the night. I was 9 then.
He once made a canoe and it was a real beauty. It was crafted out of teak wood. It was very light weight......
Stranger, i had an uncle who popped 7 kids ( Catholic) and paid child support. He complained he never had any money. Real hard working guy. ISTP @ 62k a year in '81. Good money. "Tired of it all" was common. One insight that he uttered that stuck with me is the regimented and unnatural lifestyle of punching a clock. He said look how a dog operates. It rises when it wants to and notice how it's never in a hurry - how it rises naturally?
I think it boils down to patience. I'm fast with things and details that pop up kill me. " Slow down" i hear. It's not wanting to take the time with it. Plus parents are the same -they chromo-ed it over.
I remember pulling into a gas station and someone confronted me about driving too fast "whipping around the pumps" and he was ready to swing at me. Black dude.