Visitor Messages

Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 20 of 144
  1. Mandinka
    Very insightful post. Why are some men so mealy-mouthed and cowardly when it comes to accepting the truth about themselves? Anyways, thanks for sharing.
  2. pip
    03-31-2014 11:02 PM
    Tell me about it.....
    Sometimes you're fine. Then comes along that one day where you crave some random forbidden thing, and it just doesn't leave you alone. Teasing you. Tempting you. Saying to you "go on, it'll be fine just this once".
  3. Mitchewd
    03-10-2014 09:47 AM
    Thank you, it has worked pretty well for me!
  4. oberonblue
    02-21-2014 08:59 PM
    You want wings AND a job AND a kid? Ugh. You're a woman. You're out of luck. :-P
  5. ness2361
    01-20-2014 08:37 PM
    I'm so glad for you.
  6. ness2361
    01-20-2014 06:41 PM
    ness2361 commented on Who else thinks it's fucking awesome...
    I'm one of the ones think you've grown: So easy to condemn; so hard to forgive--and we do the first, need the second...
  7. YellowSubmarine
    01-14-2014 11:41 AM
    Yes--at least you will never be so clueless about normal human interactions that you accidentally turn dates into business meetings.

    I hope your week continues to get better and that you can get away and do something fun for yourself at some point in the near future!
  8. The Dan Keizer
    01-14-2014 11:17 AM
    The Dan Keizer
    Bah, you always come across as a great person.
  9. The Dan Keizer
    lol nothing says, 'back on the market' like a new av, huh?
  10. zibber
    01-14-2014 08:46 AM
    Hahaha, I've been there.. If you want to vent via PM, I am a nonjudgmental and I like to think not very trite listener
  11. zibber
    01-14-2014 07:55 AM
    I think it would be really great to talk to people face to face, but I think it should be people you wouldn't feel embarrassed around, spilling the proverbial beans. Why not let go and accept crying when it happens?
  12. zibber
    01-14-2014 07:50 AM
    zibber commented on Who else thinks it's fucking awesome...
    Hahaha shut up, I'm 30 and this made me feel bad.
  13. zibber
    01-14-2014 06:50 AM
    zibber commented on Who else thinks it's fucking awesome...
    That really sucks. I hope work didn't go too horribly. I also had a multi-year relationship suddenly finish shortly after a really successful Christmas dinner party, weirdest timing ever.
  14. jndiii
    01-13-2014 08:25 PM
    I totally identify with what you're saying. I don't "avoid" conflict, but if I press for a discussion, and they evade the discussion, I don't keep pressing. I think the only clue that we get is that the discussion never really happens. It gets discussed, perhaps, at a very abstract level, but never becomes a "heart-to-heart" kind of talk.
  15. jndiii
    01-13-2014 08:16 PM

    While it's partly an INTJ issue (it's difficult for INTJs to understand and deal with others), it's MOSTLY a 9 issue: we avoid conflict in the hopes that the conflict will resolve by ignoring it. The funny thing is that most of the time, this is true. Most potential conflicts are worth avoiding. Relationship conflicts, however, are a primary exception. You have to have the conflict in order to keep the relationship.

    (For the record, this is a lesson that *I* need to learn, also. It is NOT obvious to type 9s, on its face - too often it's only obvious as 20/20 hindsight.)
  16. jndiii
    01-13-2014 07:53 PM
    The therapist is a good idea. That helped me in the early part of my breakup. The main thing she pointed out to me was that while I had a role in the breakup, the breakup was going to happen eventually, based on how my ex reacted to me in general. We 9s need to make that which we suppress more visible to ourselves.

    Even then, it isn't wrong for you or I to take on those extra burdens, but we need to set up boundaries w/r to those burdens.

    The problem as INTJ 9s dealing with ENFPs, both INTJ 9s and ENFPs tend to AVOID conflict. I was actually kind of hoping that the interaction that caused my ex and I to break up would bring about an honest discussion that would bring us closer together. Really, the only thing that I had wrong was what my therapist pointed out: if I had conscoiusly brought it up sooner, we would have broken up sooner.
  17. ummon
  18. jndiii
    01-13-2014 07:39 PM
    And even then, we 9s forgive one or two violations, and they're upset that we don't forgive the 3rd. It's the overall 9 pattern. We need to speak up earlier rather than later. I went to a therapist (Jungian!) about my breakup, and she wondered why I hadn't broken up with my ex years earlier. In my particular case, my ex's 3-yr-old got diabetes type 1, and I attributed a lot of her bad behavior to the stress from that, and not to a fundamental incompatibility.
  19. jndiii
    01-13-2014 07:30 PM
    jndiii commented on Who else thinks it's fucking awesome...
    Yeah, this is the typical problem of 9s. We're "ideal" until we aren't. Why? We put up with just about anything. Then they get upset that we won't put up with one particular thing or another.
  20. Monte314
    01-13-2014 07:29 PM
    Yes, wounds that are the result of deliberate choices by those to whom we have made ourselves vulnerable are the most hurtful.

    I wish we could do more for you... but listening is about all we've got. I wish you all the best, ma'am.

About Me

  • About GrlSailorAngele
    Houston, TX
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