Return on Investment

Marriage offers little beyond casual relationships (or rather - it constitutes a risk for most men)

I try not to, inevitably it happens from time to time though. A lot depends on my initial character assessment of who im talking to i guess.

hmm -- guess it depends on the person who says it. If it's somebody he respects a lot and will listen to, then they could probably just try to find an opportunity to mention the idea, without accusing. That way, he can hear it, and then start thinking that way without feeling like he was judged. I think most people if you accuse them of something, they get defensive. But if you just mention it as if they already know it, it's like planting the seed.

I can't seem to figure out how to respond to your comment in the thread itself, so guess I'll put my response here - Does "having her" mean sex?

-- Oddly enough, I didn't think of it that way. Though, I'm male so I understand if you don't believe that ..! He actually seems to like "having her" as somebody to go out with, to be seen with, just .. to have around, I guess. Like an ownership type of thing. I guess the classic phrase would be "arm candy" or "trophy", a way to make him feel good about himself

Anger... have to think in terms of where it comes from. What kind of problems its designed to handle (all feelings have an underlying purpose). Anger with the physical and mental changes, the readiness to act, more destructive attitude, willing to ignore niceties, helps you deal with problems that you can't solve using methods you would normally use.

Just as fear biases you towards moving away from the problem and not approaching it.

These emotions don't always work well in dealing with problems in our more complex lives, because at their basis they are simpler approaches to dealing with problems.

I think ur on to something. What do u mean they, ISFXs, get tuckered out from stimuli insensitivity?

I think the word I was looking for was desensitization. They, xSFx's, seem to seek stimuli until the nerve endings are just dulled from overuse.

Have you ever met a guy with a foot fetish? It's both wierd, laughable and repellant all at the same time.......once they look at your feet they can't stop babbling about them.....it's not about the nice things they do for your feet .....it's the obsession.... :P

Well actually the only two women I had real feelings for were both ISFJs, I think I'm just attracted to how loving/caring they can be, to how they make me feel emotionally safe to express feeling I'm not usually comfortable expressing ... I could write a book on how I love ISFJs but that will do for now

	Originally Posted by Angie1988
	Originally Posted by Zsych Trying to get others to understand you better is a risky endeavor... also something that most people aren't interested in doing. I agree but why do u think that is even from people that call themselves family and friends!

First you're risking getting classified as defective. Then if you're being looked at by an E, S, F, there are plenty of ways to see our qualities badly - more so when you're either being apologetic about it or trying to force it down someone's throat (when you're trying to make people understand, there are usually emotions involved, and they additionally complicate things)

MBTI is best for understanding how to deal with other people, more so than having them understand you because if they don't want to understand of change, you're likely fighting a losing war (though you sometimes still want them to understand and accept you as you are)

Yeah, that's basically libertarian when you have the government mediating to make sure rights are not infringed upon. It's when the government starts stepping in and regulating those rights that I don't agree with.

I meant that the people who would argue that protecting against inalienable rights is big government would probably be anarchists. I, however, favor Libertarianism . . . which is basically, do what you want as long as you don't infringe on others' inalienable rights.

That's great . . . I've been on the forum for almost two years, though you wouldn't know it, from the amount of posts I've written. I agree that it is refreshing to interact with people who are rational and level headed.

Thanks again. How long have you been on the forum?

Hey, thanks for the discussion today . . . also, for the reputation comment (I'm glad you agree). Anyway, I don't know how to do those reputation comments (never done one before).

I'm a little more forward these days, but in my younger days total avoidance was the way to go. Didn't know what to say so said nothing at all. Hilarious really.

I'm sure there's a rule whereby you're supposed to gain strength and experience from those kinds of things. Or so I hope. Good luck to you in your endeavours too.

*twitches*

I must have expressed myself incorrectly or been excessively flippant. I'm a little strained due to worrying about her (we've taken a mutual decision not to communicate until we meet again), so I'm covering that up, probably in the wrong way. But no, that's most certainly not how it works.

I'm yet to meet anyone else who even gets close to meeting my specs. I doubt I'd get bored with a rational woman, but I haven't yet met one who piqued my interest. I can't speak for others, but I put up with the irrationality until it becomes a drag when we're seeing each other in person. At that point the relationship will end.

(Or perhaps it won't. She does come very close to being the person I'd describe as my ideal partner. And the rest is something the INTJ is willing to 'work on' )

Well tbh it's slightly more complicated than that. But no, we not together right now. External issues have forced us apart (hopefully only temporarily), otherwise we'd still be together.

I think that LDRs are a problem for this pairing. If you communicate well, it's fine in person. But it's so easy for the Fe and Te clash to lead to misunderstandings in text.

Intuition! Nah, it's from knowing what happens when a young lady follows her instincts and literally screws up (pun intended). Sometimes when we are young, we don't know as much as we need to know. The young lady in question is not me, but rather a close relative who learned the hard way. Fortunately her daughter is grown and knows better than her mother did.