rika!!! I am ok but strung out busy. Samueza is visiting me from Netherlands! We were JUST talking about the forum and how i havent heard from you. How are you?? Miss you

I'm glad my thread could be of help. =) It's good to know that though my problem wasn't resolved nicely that I had a hand in helping someone else's work out for the better. Even if I didn't actually do anything.

RIKA!! What have you been up to?

Rikaaaa! Haven't forgotten about your PM... I am currently busy looking for an apartment which takes up all of my mental energy. Hope you are doing well.

I'm temporary living at home right now. The first month and a half was VERY rough for everything. After that, somehow I have gathered enough energy and insights that had motivated me into move on and clean up my life.

Currently, I was letting peach know that I'm quitting smoking. It kind of partially started from a netfriend that I managed to chill out with, and she told me she's moved to my city and quit "just like that". So I thought "hey, if she could do it.. I could too!".

I am still having existential crisis though--struggling lots with uncovering my mental state/mental health and what not. Apparently a lot of things that I thought was normal, gets slowly revealed to me that it's NOT--eg. sensitivity to colours/light/sound and also my "intensity".

You seem like you're on quite the journey as well!

Haha rika, I was worried too. I miss you and peach (Not too)funny how that works--never met, yet I miss you 2? Maybe I'm just going ridiculously "N" deprived ON TOP of you 2 girls being awesome.

HI! I'm actually alive and trying to survive/deal with myself. Isn't that fun? How have you been Thanks for the hello

Yeah, if the noisy, misbehaving parents and kids could control themselves a little better, that would help a lot.

No more or less useful than anything else here. I guess part of my involvement in that thread has to do with how I dislike the way people make a big deal out of having kids. Spite is quite a motivator, eh?

Ah. Does that apply to every thread here-- just state an opinion, with no reasoning behind it, and get out, without any further discussion? That sounds like it might make things kind of boring here.

Having a different opinion is rationalizing?

He had my attention more than I had his. More like I had to beg for his minimal attention. I must have some sort of psychologilpcal problem.

I just don't know why I liked him so much or care if he replies to my emails. There is really nothing that special about him. He wasn't personable. He was nice sometimes, but not always. I don't get it.

I really tried not to build up hopes. It's not like I started looking at bridal magazines or looking for jobs near where he lives. And I definitely saw the mixed signals from the onset. The entire thing confused the hell out of me.

Thanks!! The good news is, I never got to know him well enough to know what I'm miising. (I guess that's bad news if that knowledge would have made me not want him.) And thankfully, I never altered my life in any way to try to appeal to him. So, no real damage.

I'm just going through an abnormal stage where I've had a crush on a guy for some time. Each time he rejects me I attempt to convince myself I'm better off. I'm slowly getting over it, but it's taking a while.

Yeah, but I thought these pay ones have a higher success rate. Since people are putting up money, they tend to be more serious about it. Ah, I'm not going to do it anyway.

haha, no. I wish.

Become a new person? How so?

I am not doing too well because I just realize today that I'm the exact reflection of my parents' mistakes. I mean of course not as severe, but it's like your typical kid who was say.. raised by alcoholic parents. As hard as they try, they grow up somehow becoming alcoholic. For me, it's other problems. I tried very hard not to be like my mom, but it didn't happen... and I think that's one of the cause for splitting up.

Right now.. I think I hate myself because I'm just screwed for life. No matter how much I refuse to behave like her, I cannot dig my way out.

Hey Rika, how are you?

I've finally moved back to my parents' house. Weird thing is that I miss my cat a lot more than the person. Right now I'm so busy and going through so much that I am trying not to smash my head against the pavement. Who said that I'm understimulated again?!