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Yes, it's definitely tough. I don't have it all worked out yet, but I figure I'll take it as it comes. I've been told by women in profession that I'm undermining them, that I should never have been offered money to get my degree because I'm "wasting it" - blah, blah. I'm fully convinced that if I had stayed in the workforce, I would have gotten hit from the other side.
I always said I'll go back to work after the kids reach a certain age. But lately I'm not sure I want to, I'm feeling a bit old and depressed, have some plans brewing but nothing definite. I agree completely with your post and had decided to have it all but not at the same time. we'll see.