One upper game

[MrJibbles]

Very simple, I'll post some accomplishment of mine to start. Then the next poster has to one up me. The next poster after that continues untill something is said that cannot be one upped, then someone admits defeat and starts off with a new accomplishment to be repetitively one upped.

These tend to get rediculous near the 20th post.

once ran 50 miles within 4 min.s and 3.14 secounds while carrying 50 cows on my back simply because I can.

[muguly]

oh yeah? I once swam the entire Atlantic Ocean on my lunch break because I wanted REALLY fresh sushi!!

[PortInStorm]

Did you get hooked by the hundreds of miles of long-lines devastating the ocean? I did, then I cut myself free, and hook by hook, single-handedly saved every tortoise, dophin, shark, seal, and fish that was entangled and dying down the long-line (miles!). All before the cartel's illegal fishermen came to take the 10% they wanted and throw away the bodies of the 90% they didn't want.

Top that!

[Terian]

Oh yeah? Well, I once killed a man in Reno just to watch him die. Win.

[Wapiti]

Well, I was that man you killed and I came back to life.

[Monte314]

Oh yeah?! Well, I once tossed 100 "heads" in a row using a coin that had "tails" on both sides!

[TheLastMohican]

That's nothing. I tossed equal numbers of heads and tails in an odd number of tosses!

[MrJibbles]

I discovered negative 0 and proved it's existence, but the formula is much too complicated for simpleminded people [everyone who's not me]

[rewhu]

*scoff*

I once rescued a runaway stagecoach full of orphans from a raging stampede of bison simply by raising an eyebrow. Those bison know who's boss.

*snaps finger*

[MrJibbles]

I've created everything in existence. I've always been, and I always will be. There is nothing that excedes me.

[PHS Philip]

I've created everything in existence. I've always been, and I always will be. There is nothing that excedes me.

Oh yeah? Well I once spelled "exceed" out loud in a vacuum!

[Wapiti]

Oh yeah, well I once emptied the pacific ocean with a shop vac.

[moon]

Oh yeah, I fuck on the first date.

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[Vagrant]

Oh yeah? I have standards.

[MrJibbles]

Oh yeah? I have standards.

I've reached a higher state of mind and KNOW standards are for pussies

[rewhu]

I see your higher state of mind and raise you total nirvana, which is what I can reach whenever I want. For me, obtaining nirvana is like doing the Hokey Pokey.

*jumps into nirvana*
*jumps out of nirvana*

See. Told you so.

*astral projects to The Song Game (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)thread*

[Wapiti]

I saved the whales.

[PortInStorm]

Oh ya? I rode captive whales back out into the open ocean! It was tough, but I had trained my body to exist on miniscule levels of oxygen.

[Reganon]

Big deal, I carried those whales back to the zoo.

[Zzyber]

What you think carrying whales to a zoo is impressive?

I once kicked Atlas in the balls making him drop the Earth which I caught with my pinkie. I then balanced it until he regained his composure and I tossed it back up to him.

[Wapiti]

I ended the cold war.

[Nikita]

I started WW3.

[rewhu]

Whatever. In the year 2025 I would've already traveled through time to crush your meager uprising. It's gonna take a lot more than an army of sentient robots to intimidate me.

From future rewhu to past rewhu: You were right about the Swiss cheese. I owe you five dollars.

[Zzyber]

SWISS CHEESE IS MADE OF PEOPLE!!! PEOPLE!!!!

But I eat it anyways because it makes me more powerful.

[Gone7]

SWISS CHEESE IS MADE OF PEOPLE!!! PEOPLE!!!!

But I eat it anyways because it makes me more powerful.

Well I dont give a fuck because I drink GRAPE drink and can read your mind WTF IS JUCIE ~~~!! Scream~~!!

[rewhu]

I've perfected the art of alchemy, but instead of turning things into just regular ol' gold I have the ability to turn things into gold plated Star Trek memorabilia. Gold plated tricorder? Gold plated Spock ears? Gold plated Ferengi forehead? You name it I got it. Please check out my stuff on ebay.

I'm gonna be so rich.

*rubs hands together*

[Zzyber]

Well I dont give a fuck because I drink GRAPE drink and can read your mind WTF IS JUCIE ~~~!! Scream~~!!

Thats what you get! You brought that on yourself!!! I have head explodie powers btw.

[Nikita]

I have head realignment powers, but use them to put minds together to suit my nefarious ends. With this power I control the masses. I am Obama.

[AJB]

whatever.....

i made pi finite

[Wapiti]

Oh yeah, Well I once stopped a run away train using only my tongue.

[IgnoranceIsKind]

You consider THAT an accomplishment? It's everyday routine! It's warm up for me before I stop a bullet train at full throttle with my right cheek, whose muscular spasms are more pronounced than the left cheeks.

[Zzyber]

Wow...you're braggin about your cheek muscles? I once killed 110 robins (at the same time I might add) with nothing buy a flick of my left ear.

[Wapiti]

I once cut a 3 foot thick oak tree down using only dental floss.

[Nikita]

And I put it back together by commanding it to reseal.

[PHS Philip]

And I put it back together by commanding it to reseal.

And I rearranged it atom by atom into a small floral shop.

[Kisai]

I didn't like the way the atoms were constructed, so I revised Planck's constant. :P

[PHS Philip]

I didn't like the way the atoms were constructed, so I revised Planck's constant. :P

I got rid of it. >:D

[Nikita]

I got rid of everything and everyone and am the supreme ruler of infinite nothingness.

[Wapiti]

I donated my eyes to a blind kid on the street so he could see again, a complete stranger. And you wouldn't believe it if I told you but my eyes grew back.

[hullolife]

Big deal, I carried those whales back to the zoo.

I imagined this and LAUGHED

[Nikita]

I donated my eyes to a blind kid on the street so he could see again, a complete stranger. And you wouldn't believe it if I told you but my eyes grew back.

but how could you do that if i'm the supreme ruler of nothingness and neither you nor him even exist?

[Wapiti]

but how could you do that if i'm the supreme ruler of nothingness and neither you nor him even exist?

Cause after I did this:
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I thought I could do anything.

[Nikita]

Cause after I did this:
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I thought I could do anything.

lol gross


but you still must try and one up me ;D

[PHS Philip]

We're a sort of meta existence, the higher consciousness arising from the emptiness of your realm of emptiness. Insert quantum argument here if it makes you feel better.

[Wapiti]

but you still must try and one up me ;D

I did in post 39.5 - it is written into the infinite nothingness that you rule over. I'm sure you already know that being the ruler of nothingness and all so please don't take offense to me pointing it out. I just point it out for those who can't see into said nothingness. I can see the nothingness you rule over cause of my new eyes and all, they're really special.

[MrJibbles]

I've mastered the vagina to such an extent that I can control the pitch a girl orgasms. I once made your mother moan all the works of Beethoven with perfect timing.

[Zzyber]

Dude...that was my parakeet..:suspicious:

I once caused the retreat of a solar eclipse halfway through when I lost light while reading a book with merely a glare into the heavens.

[muguly]

*out of breath* oh yeah, I just ran to the planet formerly known as Pluto and back AND rearranged Saturns rings. All before the commercial break was over!

[ssnake]

I snapped my finger and the universe was made

[Wapiti]

I snapped my finger and the universe was made

Well, I farted and the whole universe expanded.

[Nikita]

I whispered and the whole universe exploded.

[Zzyber]

And then I burped it back into existence.

[Nikita]

And with a blink of my eyes it vanished into nothingness.

[muguly]

Well...I accidentally farted another dimension.....sorry.

[Nikita]

I hold your new dimension in the palm of my hand. A funny thing these baby dimensions. With a flick of my wrist I bring dementia to this new dimension and it implodes in a great suicidal effort to restore sanity.

[ssnake]

Although there is a particular dimension designed by myself, it's called hammer dimension, you can't touch it.

[moon]

then someone admits defeat

Yeah, right :thinking:

[dandylion]

Although there is a particular dimension designed by myself, it's called hammer dimension, you can't touch it.

That's okay. I have access to other dimensions that you don't.

[Nikita]

I don't need to touch it, I need simply to blink and it will be banished into nothingness. And I've password protected danylion's dimensions so (s)he no longer has access to them. Into the shredder they go!

[metamagnet]

I had a shot of Early Times and didn't vomit

BEAT THAT!

[Nikita]

I force fed you your vomit and ordered you not to vomit again. You obeyed.

[ssnake]

I forced you to eat crayons and poop rainbows. You obeyed.

[metamagnet]

But I didn't vomit
I'm confused :thinking:

[Zzyber]

I'm not. But then again I have an extremely high tendency to understand things that most are not able to understand. Like why did the chicken cross the road. Because I commanded him to with an armpit fart.

[zibber]

What is this triviality?

I killed god. Nietzsche didn't mean it symbolically, he was referring to me.

(Then I sneezed out Chuck Norris.)

[Nikita]

I killed Chuck Norris and became all of the powers of God in an indestructible, eternally mutable form.

[Wapiti]

Oh yeah. Well I ate Chuck Norris' body you left lying and digested him. When I went to the bathroom, he rose up from out the toilet. He said he's coming to get you, be very afraid.

[muguly]

Oh yeah, I whenever there's an earthquake it's not the ground moving, it's the vibration from me scratching an itch.

[Nikita]

I faced Chuck Norris again and this time reduced him to ashes. Then I stilled the earth with one blink of one eye and ordered it to remain immobile. To test my command, I coated muguly in itching powder and though he scratched until he bled to death, the earth did not move.

[Tragic Hero]

Well, I directed a movie which won Jessica Simpson an Oscar for best supporting actress. That's right, I directed Jessica Simpson to an Oscar.

[Nikita]

Oh yeah? Well I got Jenna Jameson into a nunnery!

[auriga vega]

I made president Bush dance in pink bikini!

[Nikita]

I made Obama humble.

[Wapiti]

Well I made Obama dance with George W. in his pink bikini.

[Nikita]

I made Obama dance with Dubya without his pink bikini while making Palin and Monica Lewinsky mud wrestle.

[ssrprotege]

That's nothing. I just proved Riemann's Hypothesis and the String Theory.

[Nikita]

And I disproved it using Occam's razor.

[Zzyber]

I petted Schrödinger’s cat...without opening the box. :ninja:

[auriga vega]

I actually live in the year 2882. I went back to 2008 after I successfully built a time machine.
Why are computers in 2008 so inconvenient?? Thank god Mavrice DeLauxee invented Magnum1000 10 years ago. Even if you add up all the technology values in 2008, it won't match up the amazing Magnum1000!
Ha! You people MUST be jealous!!
(And you actually have to push this thing called keyboard?)

[Zzyber]

The funny thing is you need a machine to travel in time. Wave of my pinkie finger my friend..wave of my pinkie finger.

[Nikita]

I snap off Zzyber's pinky finger like a toothpick, smelt it, and forge it into a ring that allows me to control the world. One ring to rule you all!

[Tragic Hero]

I was the one who told her to do that.

[Nikita]

I laughed in your face and obliterated you with one tickle.

[Tragic Hero]

Well, I was the one who first suggested that they put seats on bicycles. Until my input; well let's just say that 'Hell was a Bumpy Road.'

[Zzyber]

We used to have two moons until I was playing home run derby one day and obliterated one of them.

[ClydeB]

I took such a massive dump one say someone remarked. "I cannot believe THAT just came out of your anus" So I put it in orbit around the sun and named it that. I thought it was appropriate.

[Zzyber]

I conducted a fire sale all by myself with a Comadore 64.

[ClydeB]

That's nothing. My last fire sale involved evacuating 34 people and six different fire departments.

[Zzyber]

I single handedly killed Duncan McCloud of the clan McCloud with a karate chop to the neck.

[azelismia]

I set the moon on fire and sold it to the martians as a giant fondue. Thats why it has all those craters, they ate gigantic bits of molten moon cheese.
They dined and dashed. I tracked em down adn put it to them for being mean. I told em I was gonna set mars on fire too if they didn't pay up. . I am just hanging around on this planet until the sale is complete. they're hauling that useless White dwarf Diamond over here in exchange. they have one billion years and then mars gets it, sees!

[Zzyber]

I pooped out said Whit dwarf Diamond so when it gets here its mine...sees.

[ClydeB]

I was in Colorado doing some logging one day and got a hankering for some fresh shrimp. So I headed off down to the Caribbean. I drug my axe behind me on the way. Once I got there I realized I had accidentally made a furrow in the dirt with my axehead. I think the locals started calling it Rio Grande.

[Zzyber]

Yesterday I got really bored so I figured out how to make time travel possible. If you meet me on your porch yesterday at noon I'll tell you what it is.

[ClydeB]

One day I was fooling around with a photo of my cat and jokingly labeled it with what he had just done to my lunch when I wasn't looking. Maybe you have seen it on the web?
"I can has cheezburger?"

[Zzyber]

Ceiling cat was named after me when I was having a good day; I didn't like that so I fell and became basement cat.

[Nikita]

I tossed a bunch of live grenades in the basement.

[Zzyber]

Is that what the fireworks where about? They were pretty..thanks!! :thumbsup:

[Wapiti]

Well I killed this thread with this post!

[Rudy]

In the beginning, there was nothing.

Then I bitch-slapped nothing in the face, and told it to get a job.

The story of time.

[Nikita]

I laugh at your concept of time. I have the ability to warp reality. Time and space bend to my will. I can rewrite the laws of physics. Puny mortal.

[Rudy]

Hmm... I don't think it's logically possible to beat Nikita's omnipotence, so time for a restart. I recommend starting small, and building up gradually. More fun that way =D

I ate an entire large pizza for lunch today!

[RoadieRich]

I ate an entire large pizza and an entire bottomless pepsi a couple of days ago.

[Rudy]

Oh yeah! I drank five milkshakes, and then ran five miles!

[OmegaPsi]

Ya? I beat Chuck Norris in a staring contest.

[Rudy]

That's nothing; I beat Tom Cruise in a crazy contest!

[auriga vega]

I own EVERYONE in this forum.

[altoid]

I own the internets. All of them.

[Reganon]

That's funny, cause I bought auriga vega at an upscale department store.

I also forgot to mention that I own every drop of water on the planet.

[Rudy]

I'm afraid I already have a claim to all of the hydrogen, Reganon, so hand over the water.

[Reganon]

That won't be necessary because God sold me the universe to pay the rent.

[Rudy]

The rent that he owes to me, in fact.

[Reganon]

RudyHenkel is $400 richer- I still own the universe.

[Rudy]

Reganon doesn't realize that you get what you pay for. At $400, she got a model universe. Admittedly, the design of the tiny twirling galaxies is pretty cool.

Anyway, I'm evicting God for being a bum this week. Anyone interested in renting the place?

[Zzyber]

Meh. I took this piece over awhile ago. I've just been on vacation down in Fiji. I'm back now and you have no ability to "evict" me. Now get back in your place mortal and do what I say.

[Wapiti]

Yeah, well I'm sleeping with this thread.

[Weirdo87]

Well I'm sleeping with your mom.

[Wapiti]

I know you are dad. I have the film, remember?

[Weirdo87]

The film I made of you in the shower?

[Rudy]

...

Rather than call the exterminator, I catch and crush mice with my bare hands.

[Nikita]

I grind men into a powder with a smile.

[Rudy]

I destroy the spirits of men with a thought.

[Shorgenfunkel]

I revive exanimate flesh without a thought.

[Nikita]

i revive thoughts using exanimate flesh

[Reganon]

I can revive the threads Nikita kills using only a twist tie and a pair of scissors.

[ClydeB]

I'm still getting syndication royalties from the TV Series based on my real life. Perhaps you've seen it? It's called MacGyver.

[Shorgenfunkel]

Well. I synthesize indications of royalty using a Macintosh whose circuits had been shorted out in the water by an Olympic diver.

[Rudy]

Oh, yeah! I can speak Braille!

[ranwayslo]

Hah. I lost my virginity before my dad did.

[Rudy]

Pfft. I came before the chicken and the egg.

[Nikita]

(apparently RudyHenkel is the Rooster)


I created language as we know it and determine which ones become archaic in accordance wtih my will.

[Rudy]

Hah! The very concept of communication, by any means, only came into being at my direction.

[Reganon]

RudyHenkel might have invented the concept of communication, but he lacks the social skills to carry it out. That's why he came to me to help make his theory a reality.

[Rudy]

It's true that I made Reganon to aid me in my work. I created her out of an idle thought.

[Wapiti]

Well I co-created the internet with Al Gore.

[Nikita]

I weave the world wide web. One snip of one thread and technology as we know it will come to a crashing halt as I plunge the earth back into the fourth world.

[Rudy]

I gave fire, the wheel, and paperclips to mankind.

[azelismia]

I refrained from the eradication of human kind on a whim. the red button is tempting.. but I did not.

[Rudy]

I made the red button. And also gave it an override switch. Right now, if azelismia touched it, it wouldn't do anything.

[Wapiti]

Well I made the green button that provides you all with oxygen to breath. I may just have to take my hand off of it to prove a point, we'll see.

[walden]

Are you some sort of jokester? I created the very elements that your green button is made of!

[Wapiti]

Well I swallowed said green button and you can have it back in a day or so. I'm not touching that button again. And I never joke, life is too short to have fun.

[Sequoia]

Well, I weave the alternate universes you practice your crafts in.

[Rudy]

I taught the basket-weaving class where Sequoia learned to do that.

[ClydeB]

Oh yea, I came up with the whole "Lets stick some quarks together and see what happens" idea. Really shed some light on things.

[Nikita]

I create, manipulate, and wield worm holes. You have no idea what I can do.

[Wapiti]

Well I lay golden eggs and don't have to work.

[Rudy]

I stole all your golden eggs. So I don't have to work and, unlike you, I don't have to squeeze lumps of metal out of my rear either.

[Wapiti]

ha, you fell for the gold foil covered "chocolate" egg trick, sucka.

[ranwayslo]

Well, I finished singing the song that never ends...in less than 30 seconds.

[Nikita]

Well I can count backwards from infinity.

[Rudy]

*yawn* After taking infinity to the infinity power, I can take the square root of negative numbers, and get a real number answer. And I'll still have time for lunch afterward.

[ranwayslo]

Pfft...I proved women are evil while eating lunch.

Money(Money) = Evil {Money is the root of all evil}
Women = Time(Money)
Time = Money
Women = Evil

[ClydeB]

I was playing with some explosives one day and set off a chain reaction. I hear your scientists are calling it the big bang theory now?

[Wapiti]

I created those explosives you were playing with.

[Maayan]

Oh, I could have done it myself, but I tricked you into doing it so that I could take the afternoon off to have sex with Eros instead.

(This is the way of the ESFP.)

[Wapiti]

(This is the way of the ESFP.)

Exactly why you failed. For I tricked you into thinking you tricked me. You ESFP's always fall for the sex thing.

[Freedom Geek]

I invented sex. Thus allowing the INTs to do awesome stuff while everyone else was busy.

[Nordenstorm]

20 years ago I invented the Matrix, and plugged all of you guys into it. So you're all living inside of a computer. (very very manic laughter)

[Maayan]

20 years ago I invented the Matrix, and plugged all of you guys into it. So you're all living inside of a computer. (very very manic laughter)

My name is Neo.

[Nikita]

^Thus, you are fictitious. I am pure reality.

[ranwayslo]

Your reality is only a figment of my imagination.

[callmemigs]

Your imagination is your reality.

[ClydeB]

Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here, we was hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road. All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon in the middle of the road. And he said: "Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls!

Well me and Kyle,... we looked at each other, and we each said "Okay."

And we played the first thing that came to our heads, Just so happened to be, The Best Song in the World, it was The Best Song in the World.

And this is just a post, tribute.

[gestalt]

Walked 5 miles barefoot down the middle of the highway. Muhaha.

[Nikita]

I walked 5,000 miles on the Atlantic Ocean's surface.

[Reganon]

I ran a marathon on the surface of the Sun.

[Nikita]

I won a triathlon spanning the Sun, Pluto, and an enormous Black Hole.

[gestalt]

I cleaned a fishing guide's boat with a toothbrush. Then tried eating a few of the leftover worms. You ever eat worms? Bang-bang!

[Nikita]

I yawned while reading gestalt's failed one upper.

[Reganon]

I managed to stay awake while reading Nikita's

[Nikita]

I hung Reganon out to dry.

[Reganon]

I left Nikita high and dry

[Nikita]

Interaction with me produces a natural high in Reganon and all other INTJs. Coming down from the high caused by me makes INTJs self-destruct.

[Reganon]

I own the largest manufacturing plant of Nikita in the world.

[Nikita]

We may be mass-produced, but that just means I'll take over the world faster. I manage to enslave INTJs so that they are all begging to fulfill our diabolical vision.

[intellael]

And then you woke up... Put the gun down and back away from your imagination.

[Nikita]

I pressed the red button and made intellael implode. I then ordered her bits and pieces to decorate the night sky in a new constellation I call Intelaeus.

[intellael]

Matter can not be created or destroyed. My phase has changed. Each bit will regenerate into more MEs. Now I can really take over the universe. You did exactly what I wanted. MUAHHHHH

[Nikita]

The bits remain eternally under my control. I use your particle matter to infiltrate the world's government institutions.

[Reganon]

I corrupted all of the world's government institutions

[Nikita]

I destroyed them all through implosion.

[Reganon]

I recovered them all through explosion.

[Nikita]

I covered the Earth in clay, glazed it red, then baked it with the Sun.

[Polymath]

I covered the sun with clay, honey-glazed it, and baked it with a single match.

[Reganon]

I destroyed the Universe by "accidentally" dropping it on the sidewalk.

[Polymath]

I once destroyed four universes with a single hiccup.

[Reganon]

I can get rid of hiccups without drinking any water.

[Nikita]

I can teleport through time and space with hiccups.

[Reganon]

My hiccups could power New York City for five years.

[Nikita]

My power could cause NYC to burn, indefinitely.

[Reganon]

I can cook scrambled eggs by glaring at them.

[Nikita]

I can scramble any INTJ's brain by glaring at eggs.

[Reganon]

At least I can still count to ten.

[Nikita]

I can count backwards from infinity.

[Reganon]

I can divide by zero.

[Nikita]

I can make American teenagers obey.

[Reganon]

I can, too- and without the assistance of a handgun.

[Nikita]

I can reason with terrorists and get them to lay down their arms, while unarmed myself.

[Reganon]

I can beat anyone in a fight with both arms and legs tied behind my back.

[Nikita]

I can create, launch, and detonate nuclear bombs with my mind.

[Reganon]

I can save the world with duct tape.

[Nikita]

I can make duct tape disintegrate by spilling one tear.

[Reganon]

I can make people disintegrate by looking at them.

[Nikita]

I can will them to reform with a smile.

[Reganon]

I can summon them to the dark side with one eyebrow.

[Nikita]

I can entice them to perform acts most evile with a batch of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

[Reganon]

I can entice them with freshly cooked cauliflower.

[Nikita]

I can make cooked cauliflower smell like warm sugar cookies.

[Reganon]

I can make sesame oil smell like rotten cucumbers. (And that is a significant improvement indeed)

[Nikita]

I can unorphan orphans.

[Reganon]

I return dogs to their families after they go away to live on farms.

[Nikita]

I can raise an army of the dead.

[Reganon]

I can raise an army of snowmen.

[Nikita]

I can raise an army of planets.

[Reganon]

I can raise an army of happy endings from chick flicks.

[Nikita]

I can dismantle happy endings and replace them with deepest fears.

[callmemigs]

I can become the deepest fear to everyone, even Incredible Hulk.

[Nikita]

I can become the deepest fear of the deepest fears.

[Reganon]

I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.

[ScurvyRose]

I beat a dead horse so often it started to dance on it's own.

[Nikita]

I am the Sun.

[ClydeB]

I actually taught both Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee how to suck eggs.

[Nikita]

I taught Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee how to beg.

[Reganon]

I convinced Scooby Doo to go to rehab for his catnip addiction.

[Nikita]

I made Scooby and Shaggy hate food.

[Charly]

I can unspoil food.

[Nikita]

I can simultaneously get salmonella poisoning, be bitten 5 times by a black mamba, contract the ebola virus, AIDS, and aggressive breast cancer, and be hit directly with a nuclear bomb and live to tell about it.

[Reganon]

I can make up innumerable excuses so I don't have to sit around listening to Nikita's crazy stories.

[Nikita]

I can prove Reganon wrong.

[Reganon]

I can defeat Nikita in any logical argument using only the Pythagorean Theorem.

[Nikita]

See?

[Reganon]

I can light up the world with a smile.

[Wapiti]

I bought the world a Coke!

[Nikita]

I created the acid that can eat through anything and found a way to contain it.

[gestalt]

Technically it was me who ate the acid and transformed it into a benign hallucinogenic substance using only my internal biodigestive black magic skills.

[Nikita]

I laughed at gestalt and made him explode, spreading the black magic out among the Earth's plants which ingest it like radioactive waste and become my most covert minions.

[gestalt]

I reconstituted myself from a single neutron and mastered Time; Space; Mind; Soul; Reality; Power and Ego thereby going back in time and obliterating the very essence of Nikita from existence itself. Her consciousness was erased, instantly forgotten by all who had known her as I bent the universe to my will and personal parallel dimension, the only dimension therefore. I am omnipotent: I embody the general who, skilled in defense, hides in the most secret recesses of the earth as well as he who, skilled in attack, flashes forth from the topmost heights of heaven. Whew.

[Reganon]

I can make bubbles with my spit. (not that anyone will get the reference)

[Doppelbock]

I'm what Willis was talkin' 'bout.

[Reganon]

I can stop the beat.

[ranwayslo]

I won a staring contest with the sun.

[Nikita]

I AM what she said!

[ClydeB]

I am the one people refer to when they say "Infinity +1"

[Charly]

I am greater than the greatest thing since sliced bread.

[Nikita]

I eat rainbows, poop butterflies, cry acid, and breathe tornadoes.

[Charly]

I took away your heartbreak.

[Nikita]

(who said i had heartbreak?)

I brought Peace to the Earth.

[Charly]

I brought the alcohol.

[Nikita]

I annihilated all alcoholic and drug substances from the planet.

[Nemesis]

Ya well I have the recipe for all of those things and now have a monopoly over the booze and drug business.