INTJ Girls, Have You Ever Wondered If You'd Make a Great Guy?

[cullenisacreep]

I'm not a lesbian nor do I want to be a man, but sometimes I think if I met a guy who was a lot like me (but a guy) he'd be about my perfect guy. I'm not trying to imply that I'm perfect of course, but I mean in terms of beliefs and on an emotional level. Has anyone else thought about this? I just wonder while looking at the himbo masses of there...

[notthedroid]

Yes, all the time. Especially since only recently did I learn to do girl things like wear makeup and dress up and still feel like myself.

I think things would be easier if I were male. My female friends are also pretty awesome, way more driven and interesting than my male friends. I have one friend I would completely trip over myself to date, if I were male. Don't have a lesbian streak, sadly.

I told my friend if I were a guy I would totally date her, and she said if she were a guy she would already have done me. She rocks so hard.

[Colette]

I'd have made a better guy, I think. Life's been tough as a woman..

[Ligda]

I just started dating a guy who is a lot like me... might be an INFJ, can't decide yet. But we're both on around the same level emotionally and intellectually, and he might be a little more advanced on many areas of those areas than me, especially emotionally. It might work out pretty well. So stay tuned.

But I know exactly what you mean.

[just a user]

I'm not a lesbian nor do I want to be a man, but sometimes I think if I met a guy who was a lot like me (but a guy) he'd be about my perfect guy. I'm not trying to imply that I'm perfect of course, but I mean in terms of beliefs and on an emotional level. Has anyone else thought about this? I just wonder while looking at the himbo masses of there...

First I thought it was only a "social" problem because girls are expected to do ... you know ... girls stuff. However, social equality and dealing with geek stuff did not kill my feeling of not "fitting in". I guess if I had spent a childhood as a man, that feeling would not have existed. INTJ qualities are much more accepted in men.


Being female just forces me to consider or do things (at least to some extent) that I would not care for otherwise.
I would not mind being a guy. But I guess, then I would be gay and still date guys. :)

[invicta]

What a good question.

I often think I am more traditionally male than half of the men I work with. It's easier to be comfortable around men, they seem to have fewer behavioral expectations, or at least the expectations they have don't apply to me, and conversations are not always focused around relationships. However, men DO gossip just as much as women, anyone saying otherwise is full of it.

I think I would have been more successful and had a much easier time in life if I were a man. To answer your question, yeah I think I would have been a great guy. INTJ qualities seem to be held in more esteem if the person exhibiting them is male. I felt broken for many years before discovering MBTI.

[Seppuku Savant]

I'm a lesbian and I'm told quite often that my thoughts and action are very msaculine in nature. It has nothing to do with my sexuality though.

I think most INTJ females are logical and rational which is thought of as a male domain. Of course, you'd make a great guy. Men are stereotypically suppose to be all the things INTJs usually are.

[PeterIMC]

What a good question.

I often think I am more traditionally male than half of the men I work with. It's easier to be comfortable around men, they seem to have fewer behavioral expectations, or at least the expectations they have don't apply to me, and conversations are not always focused around relationships. However, men DO gossip just as much as women, anyone saying otherwise is full of it.

I think I would have been more successful and had a much easier time in life if I were a man. To answer your question, yeah I think I would have been a great guy. INTJ qualities seem to be held in more esteem if the person exhibiting them is male. I felt broken for many years before discovering MBTI.

Interesting subject. I can't really imagine what my way of thinking would be like for a woman. My wife is an ENTJ and all those "female" things are just as important to her as to other women, but she won't get obsessed about many things like the "stereotype" woman would.

I'm guessing that INTJ women (and also the other rationals) are much more independent than the average. Since that's expected from men and not that much from women (in society) I can imagine you say it might be easier to be male than female as an INTJ.

On the other hand, as an INTJ male you have to learn how to deal with women, especially the non rational types. Definitely doesn't come naturally.. :)

[Cuivienen]

No I don`t think I could. I could well imagine it might be `easier`to be a man, especially careerwise, but I don`t think I could be `me` and still be a guy, neither would I want to.
At least in law school circles it is possible to find other logical and critical female students, if you look in the right places - in fact, in my year the best grades are regularly earned by girls. Guys (at least those that count) appear to find INTJ-ness in girls attractive, even though I have yet to make proper use of that. And, practical and non-girly as I am, I still occasionally like to go shopping, dress up etc. (within limits ).
Currently I wouldn`t change places for the world :).

[Linwenilid]

INTJ Girls, Have You Ever Wondered If You'd Make a Great Guy?

All the time, and for exactly the same reasons people has already said: our traits are more socially acceptable coming from a man than a woman, and the things that 'traditional' women care about are things we don't give a damn about.

But I like being me, even with all the contradictions: gives people and myself something to think about.

[wotrabbit]

Yeah, but it's hard to imagine. I have some traits that might be considered masculine (good at spatial/distance assessment, good at & love reading maps, building and assembling things with my hands, physically aggressive), but otherwise I love being a girl. I love complementing whatever partner I might have by being the softer, more emotional half of a relationship, and I can't wait to have a kid. I've been accused of being boy-crazy too :/

[Queen Mum]

No I don`t think I could. I could well imagine it might be `easier`to be a man, especially careerwise, but I don`t think I could be `me` and still be a guy, neither would I want to.
At least in law school circles it is possible to find other logical and critical female students, if you look in the right places - in fact, in my year the best grades are regularly earned by girls. Guys (at least those that count) appear to find INTJ-ness in girls attractive, even though I have yet to make proper use of that. And, practical and non-girly as I am, I still occasionally like to go shopping, dress up etc. (within limits ).
Currently I wouldn`t change places for the world :).

I did find law school a place where I could finally have a rational conversation with other females. But I still tended to feel more comfortable hanging out with guys (who nonetheless never seemed to notice that I was, you know, a girl). Not until I met my husband did I really feel comfortable being a woman. Finally met someone who was attracted to someone who would argue back.

[Avid]

I'm convinced I was meant to be female if not for the sole purpose of breaking conventions. But guy or girl would have been fine with me (like I had a choice anyway).

[sundance]

I'll be fine in both gender..

you can always make the best of you in whatever condition
if you put your gut and work hard enough for it

[Nikita]

I sometimes wonder what it would be like, but there are definite advantages to being a girl with a mind of her own. You can play both to the thinkers (mind) and the feelers (femininity...sort of, lol) and it just expands your options. Plus, when you start to get attention for the way you look, people start underestimating your ability to think and to reason and it leaves them quite vulnerable when you show what you're capable of. (I know I shouldn't end the sentence with "of," but think of it as common vernacular!)

[taintedkitty]

I spent my early childhood thinking I would make a fantastic guy, but as everyone above me has said, typical INTJ qualities are valued in a man.

It's so intriguing to me, I actually chose to do my Major Work (critical response, no less) on the male side of gender. I was arguing for a continuum to be accepted in gender expression, and I would have liked to write about both sides, but unfortunately, time/space constraints.

However, I guess I was lucky in finding someone who was so accepting and willing to let this duality of some obvious, masculine traits (pragmatism, logic) and an obviously feminine exterior (appearance, sensuality) exist comfortably.

[zibun]

I would make a great guy.

And I'm not an INTJ.

[AliTree]

i mean, i think that i do think like a guy more then a girl, but i like being a girl w/ the brain of a guy because i am more comfortable w/ guys then i probably would be otherwise and i can get closer to them faster/easier so yeah. i actually enjoy the fact that we're similar minded and opposite genders. haha, it aids me and helps mask the social awkwardness.

[dandylion]

Yes, I've thought about this on occassion. I think I'd make an excellent guy. I grew up with two brothers and plenty of male relatives, and I fit in quite well. But I'm pretty balanced as far as feminity and masculinity goes.

....I think if I met a guy who was a lot like me (but a guy) he'd be about my perfect guy. I'm not trying to imply that I'm perfect of course, but I mean in terms of beliefs and on an emotional level.

I've met a guy like me. We share the same values, interests, characteristics, and even some of the same habits. Unfortunately, he's my roommate's boyfriend of three years, and he just moved back to Germany. It's a pity--I missed having a bigger, taller, blond, blue-eyed version of myself around all the time. Not that I'm in love with him or want to steal him away or anything, but it's nice to have someone to connect to, and I genuinely appreciated his companionship. Where can I find myself another one like that? *ponders*

[ricearoni]

I've thought about this quite a few times too, but I'm not an INTJ.

I have more guy friends than female friends, but then I've noticed I tend to meet a lot of feminine guys. So I don't know if I'd be the guy with lots of female friends or if I'd fit in better with guys because I was actually a guy.

The only thing I'm pretty sure about is that I'd probably be a real ugly dude.

[NZPixie]

Hmmm, interesting topic. I like being female because I think in some regards females have it alot better than men, at least over here in New Zealand where we have a very strong culture of strong women. Our Prime Minister for the past 9 years has been a woman, and so is the chief justice of our supreme court. At the same time I feel a bit like lots of men are not all that attracted to professionally successful and intelligent women, and that other women feel threatend and jealous of other women who are succesful.

All I want to be is successful at whatever I decide to do in life. And sometimes I am afraid that this will impair my chances of finding a male partner who might want to marry me and have kids, because I really really want to have kids one day.

Sometimes I do wish I was a man because it seems like everyone likes a successful man, that this is encouraged in men and that the sillier women of the world fall all over themselves for successful men. And then I think how can strang, bookish, geeky little me compete with all the tall fawning silly women falling all over themselves for the men I'd quite like for myself.

I do think I would make a brilliant man though.

[SongofSeptember]

I guess, but I don't know for sure. I've complained loads of times about the woes of being female, but I can't imagine myself being anything other than that, either.

Not an INTJ.

[Deliberator]

I don't wonder, I know. ;)

[MtnMama]

Wow, so I'm not alone!

I've always felt that I'd make a better guy and I married someone who has stronger feminine traits than most men. He is emotional and sensitive and I am logical and have difficulty responding to other people's emotions.

It is difficult for me to interact with the women that are available in church or at play groups. Typically, when our family goes out, I talk more easily with the husbands-- often being the only female out in the garage talking to the guys.

[intj1999]

Growing up, I wanted to be a boy, so I was a tomboy.
I get along better with men than I do with women. I am physically attracted to guys, so I guess I would want to be a gay male ????

[Deepdelver]

Society divides "roles" by gender not by individual. The "roles" men and women play are very different. Not desiring to stay within these "roles" brings conflict to those wanting to have more freedom in their "role" and confusion to those wanting to remain within that "role". Society finds women to be more desirable as "feelers". If this didn't exist, I would be comfortable as a "thinking" woman.

[Vagrant]

To refer to the OP: Although I'm obviously male, I dated a female INTJ last year. Didn't end up so well -- there were a lot of communication errors because we simply didn't understand the signals the other was sending. However, I feel a lot of what caused the damage were things that I had no control over, but she had some control over. So it could really just have been circumstance.

On the other hand, as an INTJ male you have to learn how to deal with women, especially the non rational types. Definitely doesn't come naturally..

Oh, agreed. It's especially annoying that it's expected of men to be the one to initiate the relationship. Since it's so difficult to read signals already, plus a lot of irrational women, it just makes me pick and act very slowly, which is kind of frustrating.

One of the other problems with being an INTJ male: Dealing with emotions. Not only do INTJs naturally repress emotion, but being a guy, it's also implied that we shouldn't have emotions. I know I've come under enough duress on occasions for my personality to invert because I couldn't get my emotions out.

[Fanowene]

I've always thought of myself as a female with a lot of male interests. But that just makes me rare/special and it's easier to get scholarships. ;)
I would not want to be a guy.

[Kuu]

I'm convinced I was meant to be female if not for the sole purpose of breaking conventions. But guy or girl would have been fine with me (like I had a choice anyway).

I feel like this too sometimes. Haha.

I'm a very masculine female, though completely straight. (Not that it has anything to do with sexuality.) I was a tomboy growing up, and almost all of my friends are guys.

As it's been said typical INTJ qualities are valued in men, but tried to be trained out of women by society.

One reason I want to be a man?
I'd be the best football player in history.

[PRBori]

I guess I would make a good guy, but I love being a female. I do however can deal better with men than with women. Women tend to annoy the hell out of me, at least most of them.

I'm probably not the most feminine women in the planet either, but I'm not a full blown tomboy. I just happen to be extremely independent, have strong confidence, overly ambitious, and well extremely responsible compare to other females, not to mention interested in Computer and Mechanical Engineering topics which don't tend to be womens favorites...