Do You Give Money To The Homeless Person on the St

[mind_wander]

I know one of you must at least exprienced this once in your life. Has anyone off the street[homeless or not], asked you for $1 or $2 for food? How do you respond?

This happened to me before, it really depends. $1 is fine, but nothing over. Because I'm not sure, what that money end up; drugs, alcohol, etc.

[qwerty]

Some of the most interesting people I've met are homeless.
Take Gina the lady who's lived at circular quay for the past decade (in between the opera house and Sydney harbour bridge). She's the only homeless person that the rangers in the area don't move on simply because she's been there for so long. She has a laptop, mobile phone and a job at the newstand 10 metres from her 'stuff'.

I won't give her money because she doesn't ask for it, instead I'll give her food if I have any to spare and if I have the time I'll spend 10-15 minutes talking to her and finding out how she is.

The funny thing is, that she's been offered a house but refuses to live in it (it's department of housing house) because she honestly believes she is safer on the streets (bad experiences with junkies and drunks who attacked her). She knows that there are people are around and the police will aid her as soon as she calls them (she gives them tips about various things she sees during the day and night).

As far as most of the other homeless - I will only give them food and only if they have good character (nothing worse than a junkie homeless person).

[Firelie]

If I see an actual homeless person who asks for change, I'll usually give up whatever I have, but the majority of beggars in Portland are lazy ass wannabe punk kids who lounge around downtown and ask for change rather than getting jobs.

[Raven Queen]

I might if they asked me nicely for it. But mostly beggars here sit somewhere and wait for people to give them change... I mostly ignore them and just walk on.

[ShaiGar]

If I see an actual homeless person who asks for change, I'll usually give up whatever I have, but the majority of beggars in Portland are lazy ass wannabe punk kids who lounge around downtown and ask for change rather than getting jobs.
So many jobs in darwin that if someone wants to work, the jobs there for the asking. More jobs than people, and a lot of unskilled labor. The bums around town are just wastrel drunks. A few are schizophrenics who dont have the money for help. I dont have the money yet to help them but I dont have money to help them.

No, I don't.

[mind_wander]

Some of the most interesting people I've met are homeless.
Take Gina the lady who's lived at circular quay for the past decade (in between the opera house and Sydney harbour bridge). She's the only homeless person that the rangers in the area don't move on simply because she's been there for so long. She has a laptop, mobile phone and a job at the newstand 10 metres from her 'stuff'.

I won't give her money because she doesn't ask for it, instead I'll give her food if I have any to spare and if I have the time I'll spend 10-15 minutes talking to her and finding out how she is.

The funny thing is, that she's been offered a house but refuses to live in it (it's department of housing house) because she honestly believes she is safer on the streets (bad experiences with junkies and drunks who attacked her). She knows that there are people are around and the police will aid her as soon as she calls them (she gives them tips about various things she sees during the day and night).
As far as most of the other homeless - I will only give them food and only if they have good character (nothing worse than a junkie homeless person).
Maybe she cared whats in front of her and don't care about materialistic things [home does count, but for us logic people its a need]. There are people like this in the world, God bless them.

[OneBadMother]

I usually try to donate at least a buck or two. If it's an entire line of homeless people down the street, I probably won't give to all of them. I don't think I'd have that much cash on me.

[Falcarius]

No, I don't give money to homeless people directly, as you don't know what they are going to use it for. At least if I give to a homeless charity I know it would be used more sensibly.

[OneBadMother]

Not really. Especially with the bigger charities, only a relatively small percentage might go to the needy themselves.

[Rei]

No...
Most homeless people I see are young able people.
I refuse to believe it is impossible for them to find any old job.

I soften up a lot when they're with dogs or something. But at the same time it makes me "WTF"
At most I'll give them food, or some other stuff I can spare. Frankly, I'm in need of my money as much as they are, and I (and my parents) work hard for it.

I'd more likely save that up and go take in an animal from the SPCA.


Someone tell me a story where the person is homeless for a reason that's REALLY, TRULY, ENTIRELY not their fault and I might change my mind.

[mind_wander]

There are many varities of homeless quotes like the "I'm a nice homeless guy can you spare some change", "I just broked up with my gf/bf and locked out", "I haven't eaten like 3 days, can you spare something" etc.

[Rei]

There are many varities of homeless quotes like the "I'm a nice homeless guy can you spare some change", "I just broked up with my gf/bf and locked out", "I haven't eaten like 3 days, can you spare something" etc.

Locked out =/= no money. He can go buy his own damn food while he figures out how to make up with his girlfriend.

You haven't eaten in 3 days? Hum, I wonder why? Because you got fired from your last job because you're incompetent? Well then too bad.

Like I said... give me a good story of someone who's on the street and it's not their fault.

[mind_wander]

lol, that is so funny. I've never heard the last one before. Could you spare a $1? [me asking]

[Firelie]

I soften up a lot when they're with dogs or something. *But at the same time it makes me "WTF"


I get pissed off when I see homeless people with dogs. In my mind, if you can't take care of yourself, you'd better not be dragging a defenseless animal into your situation as well.

[rwyatt365]

Actually, I do give spare change to those who ask – not always, but more often than not. I do it primarily because I've been out of work twice in my "career", and both times for extended periods – to the point where I was afraid that I would become one of the homeless. I know for a fact that "regular people" can be put into extraordinary circumstances not necessarily of their own making. Somewhere, in the back of my mind a voice says, "That could be you".

So, I let them tell me their "story" and then I look them square in the eye. If I see "con" in their eyes then I don't give up a dime. If I see a sincere hurt there, then I will give them a buck or two. I'm not saying that my BS-meter is foolproof but I trust it.

[OneBadMother]

Eh, one of my friends was homeless when he was a kid. It wasn't exactly his fault. It's kind of hard to find a way out of that, especially when you have to support your ailing mom as well. Even if it's not impossible for them to make it out of their situation, it doesn't mean they should have to starve. Plenty of people who just happened to be lucky enough to be born in the right situation.

[aelan]

I usually will give at least a couple dollars. I know, I should probably give them food or something instead...

[phoenix]

I soften up a lot when they're with dogs or something. But at the same time it makes me "WTF"


I get pissed off when I see homeless people with dogs. In my mind, if you can't take care of yourself, you'd better not be dragging a defenseless animal into your situation as well.



How do you know the human and dog didn't hook up AFTER the person became homeless?

[Firelie]

How do you know the human and dog didn't hook up AFTER the person became homeless?

There are plenty of no-kill shelters in this area that would accept a homeless dog and take care of it very well.

A lot of the people with dogs merely use them as a ploy to get more sympathy and therefore more change, though. A homeless person that looks healthy and sitting on the ground with a sign? Easy to ignore. That same homeless person with a dog sitting beside him? Much more likely to get attention. The dog pulls people's heartstrings a little more. Oh poor doggy!

[The Rose]

I will give someone money, but I'd rather buy them food.

[TruorTupnm]

If I am asked for money and not already heading full speed towards whatever goal I'm outside for and therefore ignoring most humans, I will usually toss a couple of dollars at them. Entirely to be left alone. Doesn't always work. I have known some people who are always at one spot while I happen to be. They always ask for more and more money. I always find some alternate route as soon as possible. Garn, yo. This one lady asked if I had a couple of bucks. I gave her two dollars. She then pointed out that two dollars is not enough to buy food for herself and her children. I asked her why she only asked for two dollars, then. She informed me that she meant to ask for more. I tossed her three more, making five. She then eyed my wallet and asked how much money it would normally cost to buy a decent amount of food, as well as to get a bus pass. My eye twitched. I didn't know the answer.

[INTJoe]

I can't stand beggers. If they wanted to participate in society, they easily could. Just bucking society then begging people who are begrudgingly playing the game is chickensh*t.

But I will throw some change or whatever towards a street performer IF I stop and watch. I mean, he's taken it upon himself to be a freelance entertainer, so if I let myself be entertained by him, I feel obliged to pay.

I think I look like an easy mark, too. But I just don't make eye contact and keep walking saying very clearly "No." or "I don't have any."

[mind_wander]

If I am asked for money and not already heading full speed towards whatever goal I'm outside for and therefore ignoring most humans, I will usually toss a couple of dollars at them. Entirely to be left alone. Doesn't always work. I have known some people who are always at one spot while I happen to be. They always ask for more and more money. I always find some alternate route as soon as possible. Garn, yo. This one lady asked if I had a couple of bucks. I gave her two dollars. She then pointed out that two dollars is not enough to buy food for herself and her children. I asked her why she only asked for two dollars, then. She informed me that she meant to ask for more. I tossed her three more, making five. She then eyed my wallet and asked how much money it would normally cost to buy a decent amount of food, as well as to get a bus pass. My eye twitched. I didn't know the answer.

Lol, she eyed your wallet because you an generous ATM machine.

[Todos]

I was going to make a thread asking this then I found this one. I never give anything to beggars in the street, and I think the reason is I think there are worthwhile useful people who add good things to this world, or at least try to, and people who do not and might not try to. I do not want to blindly support the desires of someone who may not be "good".

Just the other day I was in a 99 cent store checking out, and a youngish guy (~25) carrying a bunch of bags from a Walmart shopping trip, was behind me in line. He asked me for a dime since he said he was short for a soda he was buying.

I'm sure a bunch of stuff passed through my mind --
- He is asking me for money in a matter of fact way, not "Excuse me sir.." , just "Can I have a dime, I'm short for a soda".
- he was carrying those bags, and in this part of town, near the public transit line, I took that to mean he doesn't have a working car. From that I figured he must not be a very resourceful/effective fellow.
- he apparently does not have any means to pay other than cash; again, probably not an effective human in todays world.
- what is someone with limited resources doing buying a soda? He doesn't need it.
- he has done a horrible job at planning. He's out shopping but didn't bring enough money, or he foolishly overspent at Walmart. He has failed.

The cashier was handing me my change back, 2 quarters, a nickel and some pennies. I looked at the guy and said "I don't have a dime".

He kind of gave a little chuckle (as if exasperated), and that was that.

I'm not sure what I would have ended up doing if I actually had a dime in my hand; it would have made it harder to say no I suppose, but I probably would have given an obviously fabricated excuse about needing it for something else.

After I did it is when I started to think about why I didn't give the dude a dime. Most people probably would have; I have to wonder if the INTJ traits of competence and planning, and his abhorrent lack of them, is what drove my action.

[PRBori]

It depends...

If the person looks healthy I offer then food, most of the time they will take it, although there was one time the guy got mad... that's when you know they want it for drugs.

If is someone with a physical issue or an older men (60+) I will actually give out money. It really depends...

I remember one time I adopted this homeless older men, I though of him as my grandfather, since I never met either of mine. I remember getting him breakfast and lunch, and even there were times I had no money except for one lunch I would just spend it on him simply because I felt bad for him... we did talk a few times, so it was like a friend... after all, I knew I could eat later that day at home..

I also tend to give $20+ to people with mayor physical impediments or otherwise handicap, although I'm very careful because I knew of one guy who would fake it. You knew he was well fed... but he was in a whealchair, nevertheless I was always suspicious so I really never gave him anything... and I was right, a few days later I saw him standing up talking to someone...

I guess is all about knowing who to help...

If you ask me most of those beggers are young and able to work. I will never help someone I felt was healthier than myself.

If someone approach me in the Metro or a store because they were missing a few cents or less than 2 dollars, if I have it I have no issues whatsoever helping them..

That's just me, although I've done much more for some homeless people...

I took a couple from Cuba into my home once because it was really cold. I did everything to find them a permanent place; however, it was impossible. The men was 77, very clear mind, but very sick, his wife was 66. There was nothing in the world that could separate them. One of the reasons they wouldn't stay at a shelter is because they were told that they had to sleep in separate beds, so they preferred the street.

I felt bad for them, they actually need it care 24/7. Mentally, let's say they were not stable. No shelter wanted them, and a place for elderly wouldn't take care of them because the SS benefits were only 800/month. I wish I could have done more for them, but I couldn't. They end it up back in the street, most likely died a few months later.

Bottom line for me, it depends on many factors before I decide to help someone. Never the less, is rare for m to encounter such situations in my area. I think in DC or those areas closer to DC are more popular, you don't see a lot of them in MD or VA areas far from DC.

Anyway, I'm weird I know...

[dandylion]

Hell no. They're probably just masquerading as bums. If they're authentic bums, well, it sucks to be them. There are always homeless shelters. They're just not looking hard enough. Besides, ever wonder how they land on the streets in the first place? Maybe their lack of self-motivation and diligence. I will not reward them for being pathetic. They have no one to blame but themselves, and they can't expect others to take care of them. All the time they spend walking up and down the streets begging for change could have been spent productively, trying to clean themselves up and get a real job.

I don't even buy from door-to-door fund raisers. However, there was this one kid who was trying to raise funds to go to college by selling magazine subscriptions, and I thought that was nice, but I didn't really trust him. I did question him a bit, and he seemed to be honest enough. He even showed me his pockets full of money that were supposedly collected from my neighbors. I didn't want to turn him away with nothing in case he was the real deal, so I gathered a bunch of change and gave it to him. Hey, there's always financial aid, scholarships, grants, and part-time jobs.

[SeaCzar]

Never. I give to charities, but not to beggars & bums. The only thhing I would ever give them, and I do not carry it with me, is soap.

[anul]

Oh goodness no. I've primarily have dealt with Chicago homeless people. At one point in time when I was younger and foolish I might. Then after years of seeing those same people I grew to hate them.

Then I moved to the Gold Coast area of Chicago. Blocks away from Lake Michigan, also blocks away from Cabrini Green. For those who are unfamiliar with Cabrini Green, they are housing projects that are slowly being torn down. Since Gold Coast is generally filled with out of towner's some residents of Cabrini travel over to the Gold Coast area and panhandle. It's annoying having to deal with them sometimes. Try dealing with them every time you leave your apartment regardless of the hour, and regardless of distance traveled. At least one hobo encounter guaranteed. Most are harmless and will leave you alone, they just look gross and smell like piss. How can the city of Chicago kills pigeons, and not these people.

[Jgib5328]

I don't give any money to the poor. I'm not interested in donating or helping the weak, I'll leave that to the altruists of society.

[ElstonGunn]

I'll give them money. I said "other" because I remember giving a guy $12 once.

It would be nice if they took that money and used it to turn their lives around, but if they just want to go buy a bottle of bourbon, that's fine with me. A lot of them don't seem to be interested in becoming normal, productive members of society, anyways. But I don't think that I have the authority to tell a person how he should be living his life.

[AgentofGaming]

I never give it to them either. If I did that, they would become dependent on it. The last thing I want to do is give someone the impression they can make a living off asking others for money.

I don't give to charity solictors either, if I supported the cause and I'm sure it was authentic then fine, but otherwise they shouldn't bother me so much, that just destroys the whole thing.

[sriv]

This is one of the few threads on charities/philanthropy and I am somehow not surprised at the results.

I would give them the money. They need it a lot more than I do, even though I will feel really insecure and suspicious of ulterior motives after the interaction.

[mkay]

Used to frequently. Less so now. I donate more to nonprofits.

[notoppings]

Rarely. I have actually tried to give a person food when they asked for money for food, as I was exiting the market and he got upset saying no I want the money not your food. Since then never give to older people only young kids and only clothes or food.

[catd]

I lived in NY briefly and there was a homeless man on a corner that I passed everyday. I had never seen a homeless person before then. I would pass him everyday and finally one day I stopped and gave him ten dollars and told him that the next day I better see some socks on his feet. The next day he had socks. So I gave him twenty dollars and told him to get some shoes (he had old flip flops on and it was cold). The next day he had shoes. This went on for a couple of weeks and he always did what I told him and he started to physically look better - healthier. I don't know what happened to him, we moved shortly after this started.

I have had some ups and downs in my own life and I think if enough things went wrong in a short enough period of time, who knows? Life isn't fair to everyone, some people get the short end of the stick. I usually give them $10-$20, when I am making money, I'll give them $50. So what if they spend it on booze, if I were living on the street I'd want a drink too.

[jesse]

Very rarely do I give money to homeless. My reasoning being that you cannot feed them all and once you get a reputation for being a giver, you might as well find yourself swamped by the sick and the needy. Call me cynical, but I am not entirely sure of non-profits or charities. They might be for a so-called good cause, but you do wonder how much of the actual funds goes to their intended recipients, rather than in administrative fees.

Maybe a better way is to volunteer yourself into this line of work, without donating money because at least then you can see what you are accomplishing. Of course everything needs money to an extent, but there's nothing like the old school elbow grease.

[Hdier]

One time, I saw somebody with a 'homeless vet-need money' sign. The only odd thing about him was that he was wearing a tuxedo...

(true story)

[EsoteriEccentri]

The answer is to go and buy them what they say the money is for - e.g. a sandwich. Unless your reason for not giving to them is something other than the fear they'll spend it on drugs.

[mkay]

Call me cynical, but I am not entirely sure of non-profits or charities. They might be for a so-called good cause, but you do wonder how much of the actual funds goes to their intended recipients, rather than in administrative fees.

Maybe a better way is to volunteer yourself into this line of work, without donating money because at least then you can see what you are accomplishing. Of course everything needs money to an extent, but there's nothing like the old school elbow grease.

If you actually care to give money and are cautious, you can easily check out nonprofits. The legit ones tell you exactly how much of each dollar they spend on overhead and how much goes to recipients. They will be open to any financial questions. If you prefer to donate labor and see direct results, Habitat for Humanity is a good one.

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[Jakalwarrior]

Give em a quarter and tell em to dial 211 (social services hotline) and ask where the nearest food pantry is. They probably already know where it is though. Most will give a box a month or so, not to mention they are probably elligble for food stamps even being homeless. They will need a mailing address, they can also ask the 211 operator about that.

I dont know about other places, but here there are resources to help if you dont want to be homless anymore. Where I work they can get a case manager that helps them get into a shelter, get a job, find an apartment, get IDs, Birth Certificates, Bus passes for work, etc... You have to not try or not be able to give up drugs if you want to stay homeless.

[azelismia]

I get pissed off when I see homeless people with dogs. In my mind, if you can't take care of yourself, you'd better not be dragging a defenseless animal into your situation as well.


well don't be too judgemental about that.. getting a dog while homeless is irresponsible but what if they had that animal when they became homeless.

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I think this is a serious problem with our system right now that does need to be addressed.

[Night Runner]

When I was younger and more idealistic, I used to give money to the homeless. Then they spread the word and started targeting me whenever I was outside. :suspicious:

I toyed with the idea of telling the homeless to entertain me, or to give me some wisdom, or something of any value in exchange for money. I then discarded this idea because it sounded a bit cruel.

Lately, I just say "No." Just that word, and nothing else. I found that saying "sorry" or "I don't have any change on me" shifts the balance of power in their favor. Some of the more talented/charismatic/persistent among the homeless could take advantage of that.

It's a real problem here in Reno... Last year, the homeless situation downtown got so bad that tourists (and locals) couldn't go outside without being harassed. The local PD had to intervene and detain (or threaten to do so) all pan-handlers. Because of the recent "economic downturn" (what a great substitute for "depression") and the collapse of the housing market, there is a record number of the homeless on the street - and quite a few of them were homeowners in the recent past. Local shelters don't have nearly enough capacity to accommodate all of them, and we got our very own tent town last year. I have no idea how they managed to survive the winter (though it was unusually warm), nor how much worse the situation will get this year and later on, if this "economic downturn" doesn't get better.

[pure potential]

If I have some to share, always.

btw, I love how the percentage went to 33.33% after I voted.. neat :)

[altoid]

I do when I actually have cash with me.

[eternaltriangle]

I will give $20 but only once every five years or so, and only if it is an important day for me. I want to make sure my karma aligns just right on such days, on the off chance karma exists. I have a preference for interesting and unique homeless people.

I think giving them money is probably feeding a drug habit though.

[pure potential]

I have a preference for interesting and unique homeless people.

Me too, they are truly fascinating creatures! Many sages were considered to be wandering a similar path.. searching.. they just lucked out being "found".

I think giving them money is probably feeding a drug habit though.

Agreed, this is why I prefer to give them a sandwich and my time.

[Solus]

If I have no reason to doubt that they are not "genuine" I will try to help them. I'll give what change I've got in my pockets though if I've got time to spare I prefer going to a near-by shop and buying what they suggested the money would be for. I don't know why they ended up on the street but something obviously went wrong. Whether or not they contributed to their plight is none of my business. I suppose I don't know what future holds in store for me. I would never ever want to end up in a situation like that.

[Cocoa]

I really dont...I just don't know how safe interacting with strangers is.... since I don't know them, as well as someone above said... I donno where that money ends up.

What I do when I have money tho, I donate to like a food bank for example, either food or money.

[music221]

One time when I went to Philadelphia,PA to see the Decedents on the Caffeine Nation Tour, I spent the weekend there and seen many homeless. One homeless man approached my friends and I and offered us a drink from his booze bottle for some money. I of course refused the drink but I gave him my pocket change. There's no way I would ever drink from someone Else's bottle, yuck!

[Kisai]

I once dated a social worker who worked for Catholic Charities. She told me that giving money to beggars allows them to circumvent the institutions that are there to actually help them get their lives back in order.

I personally don't give American beggars any money. They know where the food stamps and soup kitchens are.

[dalidaisy]

I give money to beggars when I have some to spare. I don't really care what they spend it on. I'll also give them leftovers if I have some on me & I've even given clothes before that I had in the back of my car. It doesn't really matter to me why they are begging. I don't want to hear an emotional sob story. I know it would take a lot for me to get to that level (I've been homeless before & had to depend on the help of others, in a foreign country no less), so I don't question them. If they want a drink, fine by me. I also happen to know where shelters are in my town, & if they are interested, I'll point them in the right direction.

[JustMel]

Normally we pull into the first fast food place we see and buy a large combo meal and take it back to them be it chicken or a burger meal.

I was living in Denver and it was cold with temps dropping into single digits at night and there was a homeless man who was also a Vietnam Vet at a local McDonald's and the manager was telling him he was going to have to leave because the cup of coffee he'd bought earlier in the day wasn't enough of a purchase to have him taking up space all evening.

I went over and bought him a double quarter pounder meal with a large coffee and a med soft drink and added an extra burger to the meal and me and the kids took it to him. I told the manager that should cover him staying until closing and she agreed and said it wasn't her policy but that of corporate that would have made her make him leave. He was as well groomed as possible and while somewhat dirty he wasn't crawling with bugs or anything that you could see and he'd washed his hands and face until they were red.

When we gave him the meal he teared up and thanked us. When he opened the bag and saw the $40 I'd slipped in on top of the meal he started to cry and told me he appreciated it and hoped that we'd have a good night. I told him I hoped the money would see him through his next few meals and he said he didn't drink like a lot of "other homeless people" and the manager had already told me he was a regular who never smelled of alcohol or anything but just didn't have a place to live and was down on his luck. My kids will often ask to give a dollar or two to a person with a sign on the side of the road and I let them if they want to. If it's one of the signs that says "hungry" we go buy them a meal.

I figure that if you help where you can when you can someday when you need help someone might help you.

[NoStoneUnturned]

I like to think that as an INTJ I don't just see someone who is lazy, addictive, or just out of luck. Instead, I see someone who is probably effected by society in an abstract way; pushed into a negative situation from a negative surrounding; the whole situation is probably prophesizable from birth. I wish I could help him/her hands on. However, I know I really don’t have the power, or the knowledge, to make much of an effect. As such, I give a dollar or something when I see it can be adequately used.

I don’t like giving them money, though. Even more, there are some who are obviously scamming. I think it's in Baltimore, near the aquarium, where some guy is obviously scamming people out of there money, whether or not he is "death and mute" as the pre-printed card he hands you says. (I really dont know, however, my intuitions tell me he is scamming; I could be wrong)

[DanteFalling]

I have differing views on this.
It depends on what city I am in.
People are homeless for many reasons.
Homeless people are both exploiters of society and exploited by society.

There is no way to know.

When a person who appears or chooses to appear homeless approaches you for money, a person who is showing themselves to be outside the social contract is attempting to make a personal contract with you.

Personally, I have to go off of intentions. I am very tall but look incredibly delicate.
I also look snooty and stuck up. This is because of my facial expressions and also because of the fact I have to wear very nice clothes for work. The type of person to approach me is often attempting to "teach" me a lesson, scare me, or get a rise out of me. If someone is respecting my space and not threatening me, then I admit I have no money, ignore them, or ask if they'd like some food I have. This is easy because I almost always have food. Rarely, if I have someone with me, I'll ask that person to go back and give the person money. I've been out with my very huge brother during the day. I was walking quite a bit ahead of him, and we look nothing alike. The homeless person took one look at me and did not ask, but asked my brother if he could spare any change. My brother gave him all of his tip money (about $50). The guy was incredibly appreciative. When my brother caught up with me, I had no qualms about giving him a few bucks to go back to the guy. I appreciated that he hadn't tried to intimidate me, and I wanted to make sure he was okay. He wasn't someone who appeared to be purposely trying to hurt others.

I especially find myself unwilling to compromise my safety for a person (usually male, but even a strung out, strong female) who is endangering me or putting me in a compromising situation or otherwise attempting to say I am someone I am not. I do not like when adult men approach me at night.

I live in an area with one of the highest percentages of crimes against women in the U.S. I do NOT appreciate when someone, especially someone bigger than/stronger than me approaches me by moving into my space, touching me, or attempting to stop/block me. I ignore these people, or bark at them to leave immediately. I've been followed by a meth addict who chased me. I called the police on my cell and they picked the guy up on outstanding warrants for his arrest.

I've been depressed and feeding swans and geese alone at night by a river and been accosted by a drunk, overweight 6'5" man with vomit and beer still hanging in his beard. He asked, in a petulant voice, if he could have some of the ducks' bread, would I feed him crumbs too? It was insulting and meant to terrifying me, as if I was slumming. I did not have my usual weapons on me. There was nothing I could do other than run or say something. In an odd move for me, I offered him the bread in a very polite voice and moved toward him. It both scared the sh*t out of him and made him immediately apologetic. I suppose I had refused to acknowledge him as NOT apart from society. He realized this and, leaving and apologizing, said, "No, thank you. That was very nice of you." He scurried away with a look of shame and awe.

If someone doesn't approach me for money, I find that it can be a rude assumption on my part that they want my "charity."

In London or other large cities, I've actually been in weirder situations. I was surviving off of food from a small grocery for the week and had no money. I couldn't even buy another ticket on the underground. A guy in a sleeping bag asked for money. I was carrying all of the food I'd bought for the week; he assumed I was loaded. I said the truth that I'd just come back from France, and so had no pounds yet (yet? ha), but would he like some food? "I don't eat sweets," he scoffed at me.


3/4 of my life has been spent under the poverty line, but people have always assumed I was wealthy, I think this may have something to do with being approached for money so often. In high school some female I barely knew existed (and therefore couldn't have bothered) saw me wearing ripped '80s jeans shorts instead of my usual office attire (I had to rush to work everyday after school to survive). She yelled at me under her breath (is that possible?), "Why are you wearing shorts today, Rich Girl?" I found it frightening and hilarious. She knew nothing about me, especially that I looked aloof because I had clinical depression and was going through a bad time at home.
The easy trump card is that I am a dirt poor, below the poverty-line student who has put herself through college and some of grad school so far. I have almost no money to give anyway. What I do give away I prefer to give to a sick friend I have or to a charity with accountable year end reports.

I wonder sometimes if people begging have any less money than I do.

[loosefanbelt]

I voted OTHER.

I donate to charities on a routine basis that addresses the problem of the poor. On occasion I will volunteer.

I have given food... usually they decline the granola bar, but sometimes they do take it.

If it is where I live, I make a point of knowing what organized assistance is around so that I can make referrals. Usually they are not interested, but sometimes it works.

There is a difference of someone being in a crisis and someone who has been homeless for a long time as a lifestyle. The longer they are out there, the harder it is for them to retool for any homesteading functions.

[imfrndly2u]

I usually grab a handful of change out of my pocket and throw it at them as I drive by..... just kidding
I live by a strip club in Houston, there is a dude on the corner by the club with a cardboard sign that says "why lie, I just wanna beer". On the back side of the cardboard sign it reads "and a hooker would be nice also" He's been on that same corner for about 2 years and does pretty well I guess. I stopped giving him money after he made me wait to give him money because he got a call on his cell phone.

[Ender]

I usually just tell I don't have any change to spare, essentially. Maybe if I had actual money to give them I would, but the cash I have on me these days is loan money that I used in part to pay for tuition and such, so I need to spend as little as possible.

[floramacivor]

Aside from the philosophical reasons why someone may be asking for money and how they got there and whether handouts help or hinder - I have an Intj discomfort in having to deal with a stranger. I'm more likely to point the person out to my companion and let them decide what to do, or else give my companion something to give the person. I won't do it myself.

[Polymath]

I don't even acknowledge their existence anymore. Almost all around here are alcoholics and druggies, who I don't have a shred of pity for, and as for the rest, I'll be the one going hungry if I give away any money...
But no, I have been known to give once in a blue moon to really "legit-looking" homeless people who actually elicited pity.

[Elfrun]

I don’t really have any problem giving someone who’s homeless money, I also could care less if they’d spend it on booze, hell that’s probably what I’d spend it on anyway, who am I to judge them for that ;D

I voted '$1 or $2 don't hurt' and I mean it but I usually don't, my issue is getting my wallet out, I don’t trust the intentions of some stranger asking me for money so don’t want them to see my wallet or the place where I keep it so unless I have money in my hand at the time of felt 100% safe that they’re not planning to mug me then I won’t do it. I prefer to give to those who are busking.

[imfrndly2u]

As Marvin Zindler (a houston t/v personality) used to say "It's hell to be poor".

If I have cash I almost always give money to homeless people if I can.

What I like to do is help people who aren't expecting help, but I know need it.

Right after Christmas I saw a kid in Walmart with his family looking at a bicycle. He'd wanted it for christmas but they couldn't afford it. I bought him the bike. Never met them before and will probably never see them again. It was quite self satisfying.

A teacher at my daughters school had a sister die unexpectedly. I heard they didn't have money for the burial, I gave them $1500. I told them there were no strings attached except I didn't want them to tell anyone I had given them the money.

I saw a dude who I didn't know putting 2 dollars worth of gas in his truck the other day so I paid to fill it up. I'm not positive it was his last 2 bucks, but based on his reaction, it think it was.

Makes my wife really irritated when I give like this, but I almost feel obligated to do it. When I first moved away from home I lived about 5 years being totally broke and everything going wrong. Came real close to being on the street a couple of times. I swore if I ever had money I would always try to help those in need.

I don't know any of you so I'm not trying to get the "greatest guy" award here, just letting you know my take on giving.

[Amphorian]

No money. Food or advice on how to get a job? Sure.

[Seriously]

I don't usually have any cash but if I do I'll usually give something. I figure it can't be easy asking people for money and getting constant rejection. I can't imagine the humiliation. So yea I give sometimes.

[tekkite07]

I have found it very interesting, reading all the responses. I almost never give money, because I am female, very petite, and fearful of being harmed. One of the cities in which I spent some time growing up, was a big, bad city. There were druggies who would literally put their hands on you as you went by. I always went around accompanied by one of my brothers. One of the favorite scams going at that time, was for a single person to approach you and ask for spare change. While you fumbled around for it, another person would go jogging by, and snatch your purse. Or, they would merely do the jogging by part, and snatch it if you weren't paying attention.

Sometimes, the panhandler would accept the change, quickly assess the contents of your wallet or purse, and signal an accomplice, who would mug you at the next alley or corner. So, I tend to ignore panhandlers and keep walking, just to be on the safe side. I prefer to volunteer at the local soup kitchen on holidays. And I donate used household goods to homeless people, such as old pillows, dishes, toilet paper, and loaves of day old bread. In my city, you can put things like this at the curb, and they will "disappear."

[Xanthippe]

I avoid eye contact and walk straight ahead. However, I'll give money to buskers (if they're not atrociously annoying), because at least they're doing something. In general, though, I'm not big on charity or interacting with strangers. They have no claim on me, and society has plenty of altruists anyway.

[Ralphamale]

I will give up one or two dollars. I don't know why I do; it may be through a sense of mercy. I figure if I was homeless, I would like spare change as well.

It doesn't even matter what they are going to use it for. If it's for heroin, so be it. At least they'll die a happier death as a result.

[Visum]

Rarely will I give, but there are times when it is warranted.

[OIFveteran1980]

Look, I know that there are people who are homeless by choice, but there are people who are homeless because of circumstance as well. Remember this always.... God places people in our plain view to test us. You might be walking passed an angel and the only reason you notice is because he or she was put in front of you just to see if you are run by greed and selfessness. Yes, we pay taxes, but God doesn't praise you for money you didn't volunteer yourself, you are praised for your actions. I lost my job and could have easily been homeless, but I was not going to put my children in the streets because of my selfishness and pride. We have now been given a second, hell, maybe a third chance, who knows, but we are all living well and very comfortable. Because of this, I would give my last dollar to a homeless person.

---------- Post added 07-10-2011 at 09:40 AM ----------

As long as you are making an effort to better our society with donations, I am sure you are better than most and deverve recognition. Selflessness is key.

[Anderson]

There are no homeless or destitute people in the places I frequent, for some reason. I think the last time I even saw a homeless person on the street was three years ago.

[ppu6502]

Living downtown in a fairly big city, I usually just say No. I used to give, but if you do it every single day, it's a big distraction and I don't really like reaching into my pocket and showing a wad of cash in front of strangers who could very well be interested in robbing me once they see the money.

[envirodude]

I'm pretty selective, but I sometimes help out up to $10 max.
I don't like to enable street living as a life-choice, however.

I've also received - I told my kids they couldn't have a picture taken with Santa (because I thought it was a waste of $$), and this young guy about half my age came up and gave me $20 and said he didn't need it. So the kids got their Santa pic after all, and I learned an odd lesson too.

[INTroJect]

I know one of you must at least exprienced this once in your life. Has anyone off the street[homeless or not], asked you for $1 or $2 for food? How do you respond?

This happened to me before, it really depends. $1 is fine, but nothing over. Because I'm not sure, what that money end up; drugs, alcohol, etc.

If they want me to buy them food, I'll do it, otherwise, I give them a free customized stare of contempt.

[Elena]

If I have spare change I will give them some, but not daily. Most likely to buy a sandwich or something similar, like a bottle of water on warm days etc to give to a homeless person.

[The Prince]

I'm actually working on a self-sustaining and synergistic system of employing the homeless.

If my plan works out, I will at least raise the standard of living of the homeless 10x and at best eradicate it in America.

Oh, and not for profit also.

[Betamax]

I once while drunk at a gas station ask a homeless person "spare some change" in a mocking voice. I was punched in the face, my friends say I was so drunk it didn't seem to phase me.

As for what I'd do, I'd give them some cigarettes and say I didn't have change. Not sure why, but that feels kinder to me.

[JJ Palooka]

I always try to spare some cash, if I have it on me.

Unless, of course, they have nice teeth. That just doesn't compute to me.

[storm eyes]

I do, if I have it on me. I also do not ignore them if I do not. If I give someone money, I do not feel the need to "police" how they spend it.

[peppersasen]

I can't really tell whether beggars/buskers in my area are homeless or just poor. But as I've already said on another thread (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.), I only give my change to poor people if I'm 101% certain they are not some part of an organized crime (trafficking or slavery) and there are no exploited children involved:

It's kind of like this: have you ever lived in a developing country where children beg? I have. Well, in reality (just like on Slumdog Millionaire (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)) the begging is actually organized by a "beggar businessman". You're NOT supposed to give those children your change--if you're well-informed about human rights. But when I lived in that country, half of the time my F defeated my T and I kept giving my small change to those children because they chopped my heart into pieces (the only time I wouldn't give them my change was when I was at red lights where it's dangerous for lone women to be opening their car windows). I know it sounds cruel to not give small children beggars money, because when I don't give them money, their "boss" beats the shit out of them or starves them for not making enough money. But by not giving the beggars money, we're teaching the boss a lesson that exploiting children to become beggars for him doesn't work and he'll have to start a different business (which hopefully doesn't involve exploiting children the next time). Yes, it's cruel of me to get these children further abused, but I've got to think long-term and see the big picture. It's cutting a cycle by being cruel to the first generation/batch, cruel but I believe it's necessary. ALTHOUGH, last time I did give the kids my change. Meh, I need to toughen up. :(
I make tough decisions every day: it's because I empathize (because I nearly became homeless myself (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)), but I also want to contribute to eliminating a more serious human rights issue in the long-term. I try to detach and not take things too personally because pampering the part of myself that empathizes with someone similar to myself will hurt them in the long run. It kills me when I say, "sorry, no." It literally is an emotional/mental struggle, but I'm an adult. And I can see the bigger picture and the long-term impacts of giving away a penny through the wrong avenue. I'd like to believe I'm being smart and doing the right thing although it kills me on the inside. Because I know I can afford to share a couple of cents.

[Gromit]

I've even given money to regulars in the neighborhood even when I know they're going to buy beer with it. If that can or bottle is all they have to hold onto that night, let them have it. Scammers (or those I perceive as scammers) are another matter. I was stunned when a well-dressed and coiffed post-adolescent was standing outside the grocery store recently asking people, "Could you spare a dollar". No pride...