View Full Version : What are the Pros/Cons of an INTJ/ENTJ relationship?
09-21-2008, 07:47 PM
I'm an INTJ female and I like an ENTJ guy... Just wondering.
09-22-2008, 10:48 AM
My younger brother is an ENTJ,his girlfriend is an ENFJ (a deadly combination according to some websites) and I am like you.
They are ok as a couple together but he often blows his top at her irrationality and basically treats her like a child.
I, on the other hand usually a good relationship with him as he respects my sense of logic but occasionally makes fun of how far I stretch things.
He values my advice and I his, but he sometimes feels the need to take over in -typical field marshall way- as soon as he detects any form of ignorance or inadequacy on my part, whether it's real or only perceived.
Thus, he can sometimes become a real dictator (benevolent or not). Now imagine having an argument with someone who is as logical /rational as you are and as equally convinced that they are right....not always fun but very informative.
The pragmatism of ENTJs seems to be rooted more in the "operational" side of things, rather than in their intellectual appeal and potential applications. This is a subtle difference, but a real one.
As for what it would mean to actually date one well...I honestly don't know.
* You both are one the same wavelength.
* You have the same kind of humor.
* You can give each other solid advice.
* Constant struggle for power.
* You have similar weaknesses.
* Since you are so alike, you might not truly appreciate each other. For example I wold appreciate ability to make many friends a lot more than logic in a partner. That way I can free myself from the daunting task of making friends with all our neighbors. I personally prefer someone who can complement my weaknesses and vice versa.
You can always give it a try though..
09-22-2008, 10:54 PM
oh, this one confounds me to no end. I am attracted to ENTJ males above all others. I enjoy their presence more than any other type. They are also the most incredibly FRUSTRATING people i have ever been around, and that includes my ISFJ mother in law!
Power struggles... expect endless power struggles. One thing i have noticed is that every ENTJ male i have known has been exceedingly unaware and insecure about their own emotional processes. They have a tendency to strike out and "I'll hurt you, before you hurt me!" They avoid examining or talking about their feelings (and in a lot of ways, showing them) - whereas it seems we INTJs are able to at the very minimum cognitively examine our emotions and thought processes. Expect an ENTJ man to neglect you often in social settings - they seem to always have endless social circles. You have to have a supreme patience with them and be willing to endure a lot of alone time in public... which i suppose isn't that hard for us, considering we're already introverts.
The pros.... unspoken communication seems to be very in tune. An ENTJ respects the opinion and ideas an INTJ can generate - and will implement them in ways an INTJ would never be so brave to do. My ENTJ friends are the best at prodding me to TAKE ACTION on my ideas and stop arguing with myself. And when an ENTJ has a grand scheme in mind... they always bounce their ideas off of me and seem to genuinely respect my opinion, even more than their own sometimes.
Sexually.... WOWZERS.... but thats another story ;)
anyways.... my favorite type... also the most frustrating. Good luck!
09-22-2008, 10:57 PM
You'd be stealing that ENTJ away from an INTP.
...you might not consider that a con though.
09-22-2008, 11:17 PM
-ability to rationalize issues and there be an overall understanding
-a common need for structure in the relationship
-INTJ helps to finalize collaborated plans, ENTJ puts the plans into action
-a good possibility of common interests
-social clashes; INTJ wanting to socialize less while the ENTJ wants to socialize more; possibility of the INTJ ignoring the ENTJ and the ENTJ becoming an annoyance to the INTJ
-the ENTJ wanting to control, the INTJ wanting to be free
-lack of importance on feelings; perhaps ignored to an unhealthy state of the relationship
09-25-2008, 09:41 PM
I don't know about a male ENTJ with a female INTJ, but one of my ENTJ friends has an INTJ husband I know at least that she is very happy with him.
Anyway, ENTJs can be a lot of fun. I've never been in any sort of romantic situation with this friend, but I do enjoy hanging out with her. Strangely, I get the impression that I intimidate ENTJs a little on some level (I know, it doesn't make any sense, but I definitely get that vibe), so I've never really had any issues with them being too overbearing.
09-25-2008, 10:37 PM
My best friends are an ENTJ male and his INTJ wife. They work together seamlessly. Both understand each other's differences and similarities. They know how to have fun together and give each other the freedom to be independent. They have different tastes in both movies and music, but both are eccentric and don't mind each other's tastes. They'll grow old together.
Skatt added to this post, 1 minutes and 18 seconds later...
I should add that the INTJ is the dominate one when it comes to decision making but the ENTJ doesn't mind, she's good at it.
11-05-2008, 05:46 PM
Yeah. I noticed that we do argue a lot. Hm... It's pretty balanced though.
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