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Allie
09-09-2008, 07:55 PM
Or MOST anything (I think). Then again, this may become too risqué with the lot of you involved. I'll leave it to the Mods to remove if need be.

Sheesh, not sure if I want to post this thread. You guys :scared: me when it comes to your dry, dark, sarcastic humor.

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Anything's a Euphemism
I don't think I'm the originator of this axiom, but I don't think I've ever seen it put down in writing before:
You can turn any statement of action into a sexual euphemism simply by adding the phrase "if you know what I mean" to the end of statement.
I derive great amusement by using this fact, in particular, on IRC. Here's the latest example, a particularly good one:

* caitlinb slips Happy, Texas into the VCR
<danfuzz> ...if you know what I mean



But even the most mundane statements work, too. Go ahead, try it.

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Easy enough? (Please don't answer that! See below. Mercy! I am getting paranoid)

Here goes:



Me: Want to try it?

Next poster:

Want to try it?
...if you know what I mean

I posted a thread on INTJf




Next poster replied to the last statement in the same format above.

Evalind
09-09-2008, 09:15 PM
...if you know what I mean.

He just kept tapping away at those keyboard buttons...

Wuchak
09-09-2008, 09:36 PM
. . . if you know what I mean.

Until she took out the trash.

kubrickfan
09-09-2008, 09:48 PM
...If you know what I mean.

I'll apply your head on.

Allie
09-10-2008, 09:01 AM
I'll apply your head on.

...if you know what I mean (that's ghastly!)

My friend just called

rewhu
09-10-2008, 12:05 PM
...if you know what I mean.

Want me to fax that to you?

ScurvyRose
09-10-2008, 12:08 PM
If you know what I mean!

Pull my finger!

tp6626
09-10-2008, 12:10 PM
I spent the day fucking...

Skatt
09-10-2008, 12:20 PM
...if you know what I mean.

I'm going to buy you a ticket for the southbound bullet train.

tp6626
09-10-2008, 12:28 PM
If you know what I mean.

Saa-turday, sa-tur-day, sa-turday night's alright for 'fighting'...

cncracer
09-10-2008, 12:46 PM
It has been raining all day, and the lighting and thunder has us both on edge “if you know what I mean”

Allie
09-10-2008, 03:20 PM
Want me to fax that to you?
...if you know what I mean (almost. but not quite.)





Allie added to this post, 1 minutes and 8 seconds later...

Until she took out the trash.
...if you know what I mean. (heh. sounds about right)





Allie added to this post, 1 minutes and 34 seconds later...

Pull my finger!
...if you know what I mean. (LOL!)





Allie added to this post, 1 minutes and 24 seconds later...

I spent the day fucking...
Heh. No euphemism there.





Allie added to this post, 1 minutes and 26 seconds later...

Saa-turday, sa-tur-day, sa-turday night's alright for 'fighting'...
...if you know what I mean. (my imagination is not up to speed on this one)





Allie added to this post, 1 minutes and 33 seconds later...

It has been raining all day, and the lighting and thunder has us both on edge “if you know what I mean”

I am trying....





Allie added to this post, 1 minutes and 35 seconds later...

I guess this axiom has its limits.

How about this?

My friend and I met for lunch today.

muguly
09-10-2008, 06:41 PM
Shake my little hand

Spread the seed

Eat the Cake

MichaelH
09-10-2008, 07:49 PM
I'll apply your head on.

...If you know what I mean.

I'd like to baste your turkey...

Snail
09-10-2008, 07:58 PM
...if you know what I mean.

We're going to stay up all night watching stand-up comedy...

INTJoe
09-10-2008, 08:29 PM
If you know what I mean...

I plastered her walls.

Ytterbium
09-10-2008, 09:39 PM
How about some smurfing?

...if you know what I mean.

Snail
09-11-2008, 01:52 AM
...if you know what I mean.

How about some smurfing?

...if you know what I...huh?


I'm going to go read a nice, thick book. I like them long and hard.

Ytterbium
09-11-2008, 05:16 AM
...if you know what I...huh?


I'm going to go read a nice, thick book. I like them long and hard.Aha I have what you search for.

...If you know what I mean...

muguly
09-11-2008, 05:55 AM
Go deep sea diving

Snail
09-11-2008, 12:13 PM
Go deep sea diving
...if you know what I mean.



He's out back "feeding" the chickens...

DrEast
09-11-2008, 01:12 PM
He's out back "feeding" the chickens...

... if you know what I mean.


He spent the weekend clubbing baby seals...

Allie
09-11-2008, 02:57 PM
He spent the weekend clubbing baby seals...

...if you know what I mean.

OK. I confessed. I laughed really hard at some of the posts. I must have a corrupt mind :laugh:

It worked best when you quote them back and add "...if you know what I mean" right below them. (I could do that again, but that would be redundant). So, I'll just continue...I think I am going for some commercial tag lines.

Just Do It!

You're in good hands.

Where's the beef?

DrEast
09-11-2008, 05:00 PM
Where's the beef?

...if you know what I mean.

I've gotta go give the baby a bath in the hot tub.

LionsPride
09-11-2008, 05:05 PM
...if you know what I mean.

I have to go tune the organ...

Allie
09-11-2008, 05:37 PM
I have to go tune the organ...

...if you know what I mean. (good one!)

It keeps going, and going, and going...

INTJoe
09-11-2008, 08:25 PM
If you know what I mean...

I need to create human life with a woman.

LionsPride
09-11-2008, 08:38 PM
I need to create human life with a woman.

I think you were going for "I need to fertilize the garden";)

If you know what I mean...

I need to preheat the oven...

Allie
09-11-2008, 08:40 PM
I need to create human life with a woman.

...if you know what I mean.

Once you pop, you can't stop.

Wapiti
09-11-2008, 08:47 PM
If you know what I mean.

I need to put my luggage in the trunk.

Aeroscoper
09-11-2008, 08:48 PM
...if you know what I mean...

Wow, my back is killing me...

Malotis
09-11-2008, 10:24 PM
...if you know what I mean.

I haven't gotten ass in 9 months and counting.

Snail
09-12-2008, 03:35 AM
I haven't gotten ass in 9 months and counting.

...Yeah. I know what you mean. :sick:



I'm eating leftovers.

ScurvyRose
09-12-2008, 05:01 AM
I sealed my floor last night...

...if you know what I mean!

Aeroscoper
09-12-2008, 05:50 AM
If you know what I mean...

Did you still want me to help you lay that pipe in your backyard?

Wapiti
09-12-2008, 10:09 AM
If you know what I mean.

I rode the bull for the full 8 seconds.

ScurvyRose
09-12-2008, 10:15 AM
If you know what I mean.

I rode the bull for the full 8 seconds.

Good one!!

I set up the entertainment system...

If you know what I mean!

INTJoe
09-12-2008, 11:09 AM
If you know what I mean.

I'm preparing for Hurricane Ike.

Snail
09-12-2008, 02:10 PM
I'm preparing for Hurricane Ike.

....If you know what I mean.



So, how about those Cowboys?

Wapiti
09-12-2008, 02:37 PM
if you know what I mean.

Knock on wood?

Allie
09-12-2008, 05:01 PM
if you know what I mean.

Knock on wood?

...if you know what I mean. :laugh:


I can't seem to capture the mundane things for now, so I'll continue with my commercial taglines:

"Like A Rock!"

Wapiti
09-12-2008, 10:06 PM
If you know what I mean.

how about this movie quote: “Look, man, I ain’t fallin’ for no banana in my tailpipe"

Colette
09-12-2008, 10:17 PM
I have to go tune the organ...

if you know what i mean...

Arrrghhh....I pulled out just one of the stops and the whole darn thing blasted a symphony at her

kubrickfan
09-12-2008, 11:22 PM
if you know what i mean...

Arrrghhh....I pulled out just one of the stops and the whole darn thing blasted a symphony at her

If you know what I mean.

"As long as it doesn't get in your face, it doesn't belong all over the place."

Snail
09-13-2008, 01:44 AM
"As long as it doesn't get in your face, it doesn't belong all over the place."

...If you know what I mean.


He's going to vacuum my carpet.

Wapiti
09-13-2008, 12:32 PM
If you know what I mean.

Well, I do like pink.

Synamon
09-13-2008, 12:53 PM
... if you know what I mean.

All in...
Queens over Kings...
I sucked out...
He was short stacked...

(everything about poker is a euphemism for sex)

Colette
09-13-2008, 03:34 PM
if you know what I mean..

You gotta know when to hold 'em
and when to fold 'em

Allie
09-13-2008, 07:24 PM
If you know what I mean.

how about this movie quote: “Look, man, I ain’t fallin’ for no banana in my tailpipe"

...if you know what I mean. LOL!





Allie added to this post, 1 minutes and 35 seconds later...

if you know what I mean..

You gotta know when to hold 'em
and when to fold 'em

...if you know what I mean! Ahh. Thanks for that Colette.


"Two for me, none for you"

Wapiti
09-13-2008, 08:47 PM
If you know what I mean.....


The stuffed pork was excellent.

EdmontonAspie
09-14-2008, 07:44 AM
The best and simplest one I found was when I was playing a game
of online bridge. One of my opponents stopped in a game
contract instead of carrying on to a slam; here's his reply:

"sorry partner, should have gone all the way"

Wapiti
09-14-2008, 10:03 AM
If you know what I mean.

What can I say. She apparently likes Grande non-fat no whip mochas. Who'd a thought.

Snail
09-14-2008, 12:01 PM
What can I say. She apparently likes Grande non-fat no whip mochas. Who'd a thought.

...If you know what I mean.


I have to work the kinks out of the garden hose to make it spray properly.

Chilibean13
09-14-2008, 12:17 PM
...If you know what I mean.


My printer is out of ink....

JustMel
09-14-2008, 02:34 PM
seen on a t-shirt this morning:

"youtube myspace and I'll google your yahoo"

Rayden
09-14-2008, 07:16 PM
...If you know what I mean.

I'd like to put my penis in your vagina...

Wuchak
09-14-2008, 08:39 PM
eu·phe·mism
Function: noun
Etymology:Greek euphēmismos, from euphēmos auspicious, sounding good, from eu- + phēmē speech, from phanai to speak
Date:circa 1681
: the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant ; also : the expression so substituted

Try again . . .

Wapiti
09-14-2008, 08:42 PM
Try again . . .

That's what she said......

Allie
09-14-2008, 08:45 PM
That's what she said......

LOL. If you know what I mean. (I need to get a hang of this quote in quote)

Come again?

Wapiti
09-14-2008, 08:49 PM
if you know what I mean.

Been there, done that......

schwartzie
09-14-2008, 09:07 PM
Been there, done that.. ...If you know what I mean.


Ah, he has a beautiful swan dive!

Wapiti
09-14-2008, 09:08 PM
If you know what I mean.

We played duck, duck, goose all night......

Snail
09-15-2008, 09:58 AM
We played duck, duck, goose all night......

If you know what I mean.





I like playing the flute.

Allie
09-15-2008, 10:13 AM
I like playing the flute.

...if you know what I mean.




I need a cold drink right now.

Wapiti
09-15-2008, 01:03 PM
If you know what I mean.

How about some Southern Comfort on ice?

schwartzie
09-15-2008, 01:11 PM
if you know what I mean.

I'd have southern comfort, neat.

Wapiti
09-15-2008, 01:12 PM
If you know what I mean.....

Oops, I just spilled mine.

schwartzie
09-15-2008, 01:17 PM
if you know what I mean.

less simon and garfunkle. you be simon.

Wapiti
09-15-2008, 02:42 PM
if you know what I mean.

Wax on, wax off......

Allie
09-15-2008, 06:57 PM
Wax on, wax off......

...if you know what I mean


Ike was really bad.

Synamon
09-15-2008, 08:05 PM
... if you know what I mean.


And here comes Nola...

Allie
09-16-2008, 10:17 AM
And here comes Nola...

...if you know what I mean.




Fannie and Freddie.......and Uncle Sam.

Wapiti
09-16-2008, 03:17 PM
If you know what I mean.

She pinged the IP and found that the server dropped a packet.

Aeroscoper
09-16-2008, 06:50 PM
If you know what I mean...

I don't know if my bike will fit on your rack...

Allie
09-16-2008, 07:29 PM
I don't know if my bike will fit on your rack...

...if you know what I mean.



"Good to the last drop"

Wapiti
09-16-2008, 07:45 PM
If you know what I mean.

I've got reservations on the Polar Express. All aboard.

Allie
09-17-2008, 12:30 PM
I've got reservations on the Polar Express. All aboard.


...if you know what I mean.




It's that time of day, again.

elsdfr
09-18-2008, 02:22 AM
Whoops... oh, if you knows what I mean.

NHere
09-18-2008, 04:33 AM
Whoops.

...er, if you know what I mean... :sick:

300 posts and counting!

Wapiti
09-18-2008, 08:38 PM
If you know what I mean......

I conjugated some verbs.

Synamon
09-18-2008, 08:42 PM
... if you know what I mean.


Did you dot the i's and cross the t's?

Wapiti
09-18-2008, 08:47 PM
if you know what I mean......

Well, lets just say the vehicle got the full 207 point inspection.

Sequoia
09-18-2008, 09:14 PM
...if you know what I mean....

I got the marshmellows

dragonsscout
09-18-2008, 09:19 PM
...if you know what I mean.

I like puppies!

Snail
09-18-2008, 10:54 PM
I like puppies!

...if you know what I mean.


I wish I had my very own robot.

dragonsscout
09-18-2008, 11:26 PM
...if you know what I mean.

I didn't get any Christmas presents.

Allie
09-19-2008, 10:24 AM
I didn't get any Christmas presents.

...if you know what I mean (cute!)


Need to finish this...now!

dragonsscout
09-19-2008, 01:22 PM
...if you know what I mean.

I had an appendectomy...

Sequoia
09-19-2008, 05:57 PM
...if you know what I mean.

I had an appendectomy...

Actually, I don't know what you mean....:huh:


I'm floating on a sea of music

if you know what I mean.....:nice:

dragonsscout
09-19-2008, 10:13 PM
...if you know what I mean?

An appendectomy is the removal of someone's appendix.

All the world's a stage...

Wapiti
09-19-2008, 10:20 PM
If you know what I mean... coookooooo


I rang the bell....

dragonsscout
09-19-2008, 11:53 PM
...if you know what I mean.

To sleep, perchance to dream...

Sequoia
09-20-2008, 01:07 PM
...if you know what I mean...

The universal constant is possibly known...

dragonsscout
09-20-2008, 01:17 PM
...if you know what I mean.

Hmm, I'm just not seeing it in the last few here.

Such stuff as dreams are made on...

Sequoia
09-20-2008, 02:03 PM
...if you know what I mean....
(okay, something easier)

that's one huge pile of feathers....

dragonsscout
09-20-2008, 02:09 PM
...if you know what I mean (lol).

What piece of work is a man...

Sequoia
09-20-2008, 02:17 PM
Oo la la

(oh) ..if you know what I mean...

floating on a sea of music

dragonsscout
09-20-2008, 02:57 PM
...if you know what I mean.

Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind...

Sequoia
09-20-2008, 07:43 PM
...if you know what I mean.

Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind...

There's no innuendo there; that is quite romantic and true.



...if you know what I mean....

We need some olive oil.

Truth
09-20-2008, 11:18 PM
If you know what I mean....

my little boy needs a spanking

dragonsscout
09-21-2008, 01:44 AM
... if you know what I mean!

Thanks Sequoia! I thought so too! I have to admit though, these beginnings aren't mine. Guess who I'm lifting them from!

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark...

schwartzie
09-21-2008, 10:37 AM
I have to admit though, these beginnings aren't mine. Guess who I'm lifting them from!Its fromArmaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one:
("And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.")

and, for my euphemism:

....we'll not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite...

dragonsscout
09-21-2008, 10:49 AM
... if you know what I mean! :laugh:

I wish!

All that glitters is not gold...

theJarrett
09-21-2008, 05:08 PM
If you know what I mean...

if p, then q
if q, then r
:. if p, then r

dragonsscout
09-21-2008, 10:54 PM
...if you know what I mean! How kinky!:whip:

The play's the thing...

NHere
09-21-2008, 11:08 PM
...if you know what I mean...



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Read the fine print

dragonsscout
09-21-2008, 11:37 PM
Umm... yeah... what's the innuendo?

NHere
09-21-2008, 11:45 PM
Read the fine print.

zibber
09-22-2008, 03:25 AM
Are you into photography? Nudge nudge, say no more. Do you go?

dragonsscout
09-22-2008, 12:47 PM
... if you know what I mean!

...if you know what I mean? I don't get the photography bit. Wait, never mind I got it.

What light from yonder window breaks...

Sequoia
09-22-2008, 04:54 PM
...If you know what I mean....

Shakesphere and snuggles....

Wapiti
09-22-2008, 05:49 PM
If you know what I mean.

Time to glaze the donuts.

Sequoia
09-22-2008, 06:15 PM
If you know what I mean....

it's all better now....

dragonsscout
09-22-2008, 06:34 PM
if you know what I mean.

My words fly up, my thoughts remain below...

Sequoia
09-22-2008, 07:52 PM
if you know what I mean...

now that has possibilities....

Jakalwarrior
09-22-2008, 11:34 PM
... if you know what I mean

Headon! Apply directly to forehead

dragonsscout
09-23-2008, 01:07 AM
...if you know what I mean! Yeah...

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet...

INTJoe
09-23-2008, 10:45 AM
... if you know what I mean.

All in...
Queens over Kings...
I sucked out...
He was short stacked...

(everything about poker is a euphemism for sex)

If you know what I mean.

Don't splash the pot!

Sequoia
09-23-2008, 01:07 PM
If you know what I mean.

Don't splash the pot!

If you know what I mean...

I have the nuts...

dragonsscout
09-23-2008, 02:37 PM
...if you know what I mean!

The lady doth protest too much...

theJarrett
09-23-2008, 06:20 PM
If you know what I mean...

f(x) = 2y + 3

dragonsscout
09-23-2008, 11:17 PM
... if you know what I mean. Hmm, odd function.

¿Et tu Brute...

INTJoe
09-24-2008, 10:20 AM
¿Et tu Brute...

If you know what I mean.

He was stabbed by his friends!

dragonsscout
09-24-2008, 11:06 AM
... if you know what I mean! :laugh:

Cowards die many times before their deaths...

ScurvyRose
09-24-2008, 11:22 AM
...if you know what I mean!

I finished the trim in the bathroom last night...

Wapiti
09-24-2008, 03:24 PM
If you know what I mean.....


I went for the win but came in second. Second place isn't all that bad.

dragonsscout
09-24-2008, 08:59 PM
...if you know what I mean!

What light through yonder window breaks?

Wapiti
09-25-2008, 11:31 AM
Hey, you used that one already.......Still don't know what you mean

If you know what I mean.

I smoked some meat.

dragonsscout
09-25-2008, 04:30 PM
...if you know what I mean. :laugh:

Sorry about the repeat.

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears...

Wapiti
09-25-2008, 05:22 PM
If you know what I mean....


Sorry about the repeat.


No worries, we'll just sweep it under the rug.....

Snail
09-25-2008, 06:01 PM
No worries, we'll just sweep it under the rug.....

If you know what I mean....



I can reach the last chips in the Pringles can.

dragonsscout
09-25-2008, 07:53 PM
...if you know what I mean.

We should be woo'd and were not made to woo...

theJarrett
09-25-2008, 10:12 PM
if you know what I mean...

Is it possible to have just one serving of the fruitcake, and not accept the whole thing?

INTJoe
09-26-2008, 03:37 PM
If you know what I mean!

I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky.

Allie
09-26-2008, 04:15 PM
If you know what I mean!

I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky.


...if you know what I mean. :laugh:


Need to stock up on fruits and vegetables.

dragonsscout
09-27-2008, 12:29 AM
... if you know what I mean. (I'm trying to decide what this means, exactly)

A plague on both your houses...

Terian
09-27-2008, 01:15 AM
...if you know what I mean.

My butt is sore.

IgnoranceIsKind
09-27-2008, 10:13 AM
...If you know what I mean. (Dude, that invoked very wrong imagery in my head man)

I'd like you to meet a very close relative of mine

Terian
09-27-2008, 10:33 AM
...If you know what I mean. (Dude, that invoked very wrong imagery in my head man)

I'd like you to meet a very close relative of mine
...If you know what I mean. (Why, because I'm male, or because my avatar's upside down?)

My throat is sore... I think I caught something from _____. (I actually said this at work sans innuendo. I think it's hilarious.)

Fineline
09-27-2008, 10:01 PM
If you know what I mean.

We talked about theoretical physics...

dragonsscout
09-28-2008, 11:54 AM
...if you know what I mean!

Blow, blow, thou winter wind...

Reganon
10-31-2008, 08:51 PM
"I invaded her bay of pigs...if you know what I mean" - JFK from Clone High

Allie
10-31-2008, 09:47 PM
...if you know what I mean.

"Out. :whip:" - Syn

Solaris
10-31-2008, 10:55 PM
...if you know what I mean.

My laptop is overheating...

dragonsscout
11-02-2008, 12:45 AM
...if you know what I mean.

I didn't kill it!

rahdam
11-02-2008, 01:43 AM
If you know what I mean...

I love salmon!

Zzyber
11-03-2008, 09:10 AM
If you know what I mean...

I accidently broke her back.

SeaCzar
11-03-2008, 12:39 PM
If you know what I mean...

I played the back nine.

Zzyber
11-04-2008, 05:30 AM
If you know what I mean...

I checked out her groceries

SeaCzar
11-04-2008, 11:08 AM
If you know what I mean...

I was playing the be-bop solo on the spunk trumpet.

Zzyber
11-04-2008, 11:11 AM
If you know what I mean...

There's always room for Jello

bladeserver
11-15-2008, 05:55 AM
If you know what I mean ....

Teamwork…means never having to take all the blame yourself

Nikita
11-15-2008, 09:26 AM
The movie had us reaching for the tissues all night, if you know what I mean.

SeaCzar
11-15-2008, 02:40 PM
....if you know what I mean.


I've got enough.

dragonsscout
11-15-2008, 04:17 PM
...if you know what I mean!

Though this be madness, yet there is method in it...

INTJoe
11-16-2008, 06:55 PM
if you know what I mean...

Last night I watched In Diana Jones and the Raiders of the Most Dark

Nikita
11-16-2008, 07:15 PM
I'm eating a taco, if you know what I mean.

INTJoe
11-16-2008, 08:58 PM
If you know what I mean...

I added sour cream to her vertical taco.

SeaCzar
11-17-2008, 04:44 PM
If you know what I mean...

My resolve is stiffening.

zibber
11-20-2008, 02:19 AM
Mr. Johnson spilled some milk on my rug, if you catch my cold.

The movie had us reaching for the tissues all night, if you know what I mean.

:laugh:

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 05:07 PM
My resolve is stiffening.
...if you know what I mean.

Mr. Johnson spilled some milk on my rug, if you catch my cold.
Time for me to nerd out here and say how that sounds like the second story told here (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

O happy dagger!
This is thy sheath...

Nikita
11-23-2008, 05:11 PM
Helmet hair really freaks her out, if you know what I mean.

NephilimAzrael
11-23-2008, 05:11 PM
... if you know what I mean.

Where's the beef?

Nikita
11-23-2008, 05:12 PM
I'm sick of eating out, if you know what I mean.

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 05:16 PM
...if you know what I mean.

Off with his head...

Nikita
11-23-2008, 05:18 PM
I don't want no minute man, if you know what I mean.

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 05:19 PM
Done to death by slanderous tongue, if you know what I mean.

Nikita
11-23-2008, 05:21 PM
"Fuck off with your sofa units," if you know what I mean.

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 05:27 PM
Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie, if you know what I mean!

Nikita
11-23-2008, 05:27 PM
"It's all bigger and scarier than we ever thought," if you know what I mean.

"Do you wish to ride me?" If you know what I mean....

"If you value your life, come no further!" If you know what I mean....

(all from the same source)

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 05:35 PM
Is this a dagger which I see before me?

Nikita
11-23-2008, 05:38 PM
She went from 0 to bi**h in 30 seconds, if you know what I mean.

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 07:00 PM
Come, let's away to prison; We two alone will sing, if you know what I mean.

Nikita
11-23-2008, 07:01 PM
You shook me all night long, if you know what I mean.

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 07:03 PM
Get thee to a nunnery, if you know what I mean.

Nikita
11-23-2008, 07:04 PM
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, if you know what I mean.

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 07:13 PM
One that loved not wisely but too well, if you know what I mean.

Nikita
11-23-2008, 07:17 PM
Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong, if you know what I mean.

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 07:21 PM
And thus I clothe my naked villany, if you know what I mean.

Nikita
11-23-2008, 07:22 PM
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap, if you know what I mean.

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 07:34 PM
A hit, a very palpable hit, if you know what I mean.

Nikita
11-23-2008, 07:35 PM
The oak shall send his roots abroad, and pierce thy mould, if you know what I mean.

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 07:37 PM
A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse! ...if you know what I mean.

Nikita
11-23-2008, 07:37 PM
To be a brother to th' insensible rock and to the sluggish clod, if you know what I mean.

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 09:58 PM
That was an epic sword fight, if you know what I mean.

Nikita
11-23-2008, 10:03 PM
Thou shalt lie down, With patriarchs of the infant world--with kings The powerful of the earth--the wise, the good, Fair forms, and hoary seers of ages past, All in one mighty sepulchre, if you know what I mean.

(I was hoping you'd post before I went to bed!)

dragonsscout
11-23-2008, 10:22 PM
If I was drinking milk, it would have come out of my nose, if you know what I mean.

(Yeah, it might be my last post for a few days here. Tomorrow's Monday.)

INTJoe
11-25-2008, 08:52 PM
Tomorrow's Monday.

...if you know what I mean.

Et tu, Brute?

Nikita
11-25-2008, 08:59 PM
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels, Doorbells and sleighbells And schnitzel with noodles, Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, These are a few of my favorite things...if you know what I mean

schwartzie
11-25-2008, 09:55 PM
IYKWIM
tomorra's the start of a long holiday!

Nikita
11-25-2008, 10:31 PM
That came from out of nowhere if you know what I mean.

INTJoe
11-26-2008, 05:56 AM
Nikita, you keep doing it wrong...

Allie
11-26-2008, 10:06 AM
Nikita, you keep doing it wrong...

If you know what I mean. (sorry INTJoe, but I couldn't resist!! You can get back at me next time.)

Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire.

Nikita
11-26-2008, 04:57 PM
Nikita, you keep doing it wrong...

I'm doing it the way that actually makes sense. I'm not using the other format because it is awkward and does not flow.


He gave me a pearl necklace for my birthday, if you know what I mean.

muguly
11-26-2008, 05:06 PM
When I was in the military, my lady used to shine my helmet if you know what I mean....

Zzyber
12-03-2008, 10:39 AM
If you know what I mean...

I applied her lipstick

Wapiti
12-03-2008, 12:26 PM
If you know what I mean.


I really like coffee.

Zzyber
12-03-2008, 01:31 PM
If you know what I mean...

She shook it like a salt shaker.

Nikita
12-03-2008, 03:38 PM
spit
–noun
1. a pointed rod or bar for thrusting through and holding meat that is to be cooked before or over a fire.
2. any of various rods, pins, or the like used for particular purposes.
3. a narrow point of land projecting into the water.
4. a long, narrow shoal extending from the shore.
–verb (used with object) 5. to pierce, stab, or transfix, as with a spit; impale on something sharp.
6. to thrust a spit into or through.
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

If you know what I mean....

elsdfr
12-04-2008, 05:32 AM
If you know what I mean...

What are you doing? Thats not how its supposed to work.

Zzyber
12-04-2008, 05:36 AM
More of a That's what she said...

I turned up her speakers.

Nikita
12-04-2008, 10:44 PM
I am a rock, I am an island, if you know what I mean.

Zzyber
12-05-2008, 11:37 AM
If I knew what you meant.

My CAC card worked in her key card slot.
(wow that was almost dirty in and of itself!!!)

rewhu
12-05-2008, 11:45 AM
My coworker went to go buy wrapping paper...if you know what I mean.

Zzyber
12-05-2008, 11:49 AM
I double clicked her mouse

rewhu
12-05-2008, 11:55 AM
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...

Zzyber
12-05-2008, 12:00 PM
If you know what I mean.

(In keeping with the Christmas theme)

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

sounds painful though :cry:

INTJoe
12-05-2008, 02:36 PM
Mary had a little lamb.

rara avis
12-05-2008, 02:40 PM
...if you know what I mean.



I've heard that ENTPs are pretty gifted.

Zzyber
12-05-2008, 03:08 PM
If you know what I mean.

You better not hit me with that truck!

Nikita
12-05-2008, 05:49 PM
I got his DNA, what a double helix! If you know what I mean....

INTJoe
12-05-2008, 08:35 PM
An apple a day keeps the Doctor away.

Zzyber
12-05-2008, 08:55 PM
If you know what I mean.

I love eatin' me a Georgia peach.

Nikita
12-05-2008, 09:37 PM
Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire! if you know what I mean

INTJoe
12-05-2008, 10:40 PM
Squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg.

Nikita
12-05-2008, 11:06 PM
"Hey, you're off the monkey! Mazal tov!" (from Golden Girls)

Zzyber
12-10-2008, 12:43 PM
If you know what I mean.

Her binder was so full that it no longer closed all the way.

Nikita
12-10-2008, 12:48 PM
He put on his cat ears and meowed, if you know what I mean.

Zzyber
12-10-2008, 12:51 PM
I answered her phone.

Nikita
12-10-2008, 01:22 PM
I put on some earmuffs and rode all the way home.

Zzyber
12-10-2008, 01:29 PM
The last thing I heard was the squealing of tires.

Nikita
12-10-2008, 01:31 PM
I ripped outta there so fast I left skidmarks.

Zzyber
12-10-2008, 01:41 PM
She caught me squeaking the gator.

Nikita
12-10-2008, 01:42 PM
I'm late, which is ironic, because I started out 9 hours and 23 minutes early.

Zzyber
12-11-2008, 09:05 AM
When the tree died the townsfolk all despaired.

Nikita
12-11-2008, 11:18 AM
"Dean started packing Jason's pipe, and Jason got pretty excited, so I told him I'd take a hit. To be honest, it didn't do anything for me. Anything good. Like I said, I was already pretty drunk, and [it] just put me over the edge. I got sick about five minutes into it. I felt like I was stuck in a suitcase at the bottom of a ship in the middle of a storm. Everything started sloshing around in my stomach. My hands and forehead began to sweat and my knees felt weak" if you know what I mean.

Zzyber
12-11-2008, 11:23 AM
Like I just overheard a coworker say:

I don't know how it works either..flip that bitch over and read the back.

rewhu
12-11-2008, 11:34 AM
Coworker A: I need more blue ink. My stamp is dry.

Coworker B: I can wet it for you.

Inside rewhu's head: That's what she said.

Nikita
12-11-2008, 11:37 AM
"Share your scent expression with the world," if you know what I mean.

Zzyber
12-11-2008, 11:38 AM
Where's the beef! If you know what I mean.

ClydeB
12-11-2008, 01:16 PM
What cha looking at in your avatar's hand? If you know what I mean.

Nikita
12-11-2008, 02:11 PM
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

ClydeB
12-11-2008, 05:02 PM
Did you put that into the mail yet? If you know what I mean.

Wapiti
12-11-2008, 06:27 PM
It was an electrostatic discharge. If you know what I mean.

ClydeB
12-11-2008, 07:30 PM
I bet she was shocked when that happened. If you know what I mean.

Nikita
12-11-2008, 08:07 PM
Plug it in, if you know what I mean.

Zzyber
12-12-2008, 05:38 AM
The loose change scattered all over the floor. If you know what I mean.

ClydeB
12-12-2008, 06:15 PM
Why don't you bend over and pick it up. If you know what I mean.

Franklin71
12-12-2008, 06:18 PM
The copy machine needs more toner. If you know what I mean.

Nikita
12-12-2008, 09:59 PM
"Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live."

If you know what I mean....

Zzyber
12-15-2008, 07:28 AM
I actually have no idea what you mean.

I C+'d her +. If you know what I mean.

Nikita
12-15-2008, 11:33 AM
(think S...think M)

He had a 3.5 inch floppy, if you know what I mean.

Zzyber
12-15-2008, 01:22 PM
I was hiding in the sweater rack. If you know what I mean.

ClydeB
12-19-2008, 03:34 PM
Not that there's anything wrong with that, if you know what I mean.

Nikita
12-19-2008, 04:27 PM
Hello. If you know what I mean....

ClydeB
12-19-2008, 10:24 PM
Ok. If you know what I mean.

Franklin71
12-19-2008, 10:28 PM
It plumps when you cook it. If you know what I mean.

ClydeB
12-20-2008, 01:29 PM
You know what I'm talking about. If you know what I mean.

MacGuffin
12-20-2008, 01:30 PM
10 inches last night! If you know what I mean.

ClydeB
12-20-2008, 01:41 PM
Big words get me all hot and breathy. If you know what pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis means.