Why, did I offend you?

[muguly]

After reading a thread about what is offensive I pondered another question:who decides these words are offensive? It seems like every century there is a new batch of words that some how manage to end up on the offensive list. Who decides these (besides my mom, she's the "curse police) and what makes them find the words offensive?

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[Well Then]

You're looking at the transfer of various memes - no one person or group really decides what is or is not offensive for everyone. People and/or organizations in positions of power have large sway over what large groups of people often find offensive, however.

People learn what they find offensive from various places. On the other hand, there are some people don't get "offended" when they think about how irrational the basis for taking offense is. It's a learned behavior, one of the prime effects of claiming indignation is that it tends to provoke people to stop prodding a belief, which in turn helps the belief to escape scrutiny and ultimately propagate itself.

The unfortunate thing about memes is that there's often no one to blame for the more virulent and efficacious ones, and those ones also seem to be the most detrimental to useful discourse.

[Skatt]

I personally am never offended by words. I think that words are meant to be used and no word should be avoided because of an invisible standard that only becomes tangible when someone reacts. I hardly ever censor myself though, and that creates some problems for me. I don't do well when communicating with adults while I'm near other people's children, and when someone mentions my choice of words to me, my lack of concern for their decision to be irrational usually offends even more. I usually just read up on the etymology of words that are supposedly offensive so that when I'm in the right mood I can pull something out and blow someone's mind for a chuckle.

[Monte314]

We all grow up in some culture that has estaablished linguistic mores. To intentionally flout them with the *intention* to offend is wrong. To intentionally flout them to make a point is sometimes (though rarely) necessary. To unintentionally flout them is to be ignorant or careless.

As I see it, then, using language your culture has determined is offensive is, except in rare cases, either wrong, careless, or an expression of ignorance.

[Skatt]

We all grow up in some culture that has estaablished linguistic mores. To intentionally flout them with the *intention* to offend is wrong. To intentionally flout them to make a point is sometimes (though rarely) necessary. To unintentionally flout them is to be ignorant or careless.

As I see it, then, using language your culture has determined is offensive is, except in rare cases, either wrong, careless, or an expression of ignorance.

This response is very intriguing to me. I think my view is a result of my P side a bit more probably, but censorship isn't really functional in terms of what is progressive. I never intentionally use offensive language, but I never intentionally censor myself either. I can't see it as practical. I think in a way, offensive words have a negative impact in that they are one of the earliest forms of elitism that a child witnesses in life. Every child has to know what a bad word is to avoid saying it. So even though it's way establish some authority over a child, it is counter productive to the reparation of social standards however minute that may be. I see the solution as finding ways to stray away from authoritarianism. In this age everything is so connected that it is a way more practical thought to put more power into the hands of all the people effected by it. Will this change the way things work? Not likely, but I'm an inventor at heart and that makes me value change for the sake of change a great deal. There is a lot more I could talk about on the subject of authoritarianism, but this thread isn't for that discussion.
I guess I am careless about offensive words, but I don't see that as a problem.

[cncracer]

I see our personality type as being direct, and when I offend a person it is in most cases because I have been too direct. I am told when in debate mode I prefer to go for the throat right off the starting line. It is not intentional, but as a non political correct person and one who is not offended by the direct approach, I seem to look for the heart of an issue which can cause many to take a deep breath.

[Aeroscoper]

I think that the issue of offense is a completely subjective one, and one that's determined by the "offended". Each individual has the option of being offended, or not. To me it can be regarded as today's version of speech control, and now with "hate crimes", thought control.

To illustrate consider this. I'll contend that for any controversial opinion in the world, you'll be able to find someone out there that would find it "offensive". Therefore a premise that states people should curb what they say due to someone getting offended, that would pretty much mean no one was able to speak their mind. I have a feeling this was exactly what was being addressed when the whole "freedom of speech" thing was being enacted. With this scenario you have two options, put limitations on what and what can't be said, and today that's usually based on consensus, and that consensus in our society typically being driven by emotional arguments. Or, allow true freedom of expression, and tell everyone to get over themselves.

Of course that's completely theoretical and in reality today it'd be unwise to live that way, the whole "when in Rome" thing. To me there is reason and need for "sensitivity", but that should be up to the individual and not some populist mandate or legislated law intended to dictate behavior.

[cncracer]

We all grow up in some culture that has estaablished linguistic mores. To intentionally flout them with the *intention* to offend is wrong. To intentionally flout them to make a point is sometimes (though rarely) necessary. To unintentionally flout them is to be ignorant or careless.

As I see it, then, using language your culture has determined is offensive is, except in rare cases, either wrong, careless, or an expression of ignorance.

I think I may have gotten off on a wrong tangent, or we might be discussing two types of offensive issues (language and content). I don’t cuss, and was raised to see it as a lack of education. It just does not sound right even when I try to use it in jokes or humor. As such I don’t use it. When I hear it; I will note it not as disrespect nor will I take offense with it, but my view of the person using it will be somewhat colored.
Direct “content” is my problem as I am very direct and that was how I look at the offense question in the post. I am sure I do offend some with my direct approach to issues.

[Monte314]

I think I may have gotten off on a wrong tangent, or we might be discussing two types of offensive issues (language and content). I don’t cuss, and was raised to see it as a lack of education. It just does not sound right even when I try to use it in jokes or humor. As such I don’t use it. When I hear it; I will note it not as disrespect nor will I take offense with it, but my view of the person using it will be somewhat colored.
Direct “content” is my problem as I am very direct and that was how I look at the offense question in the post. I am sure I do offend some with my direct approach to issues.

Yes, both kinds of offense are being kicked around here. I think both discussions are interesting.

[MindOverMatter]

Words change in meaning as time grows forword. Some words are described as offensive because they have strong emotions attached to them for some people. But these words change also. "Breast" and "thigh" used to be extremely offensive to many people but today they are considered normal words.

People really need to get over being offended by certain words. Words are only defined as offensive based on cultural norms which change over time.

[Sliderule]

Old Timer

Wow, I couldn't stop laughing for about a minute after I read that one.

[LionsPride]

Geez, I just used the word 'foxy' in a different post. If I keep at this I might be banned. :laugh:

[dragonsscout]

I don't know why certain words are offensive. I guess I'll have to ponder that. Also, the list was incomplete *sigh* there were so few racial and ethnic slurs. :rolleyes:

[Tablelamp]

Any word repeatedly used with the intention of offending becomes and offencive word over time.

That is why there is very little real pattern to modern curse words. In older days a "curseword" was any word by which you meant ill will towards another, since then most curses were based on the foulest things people had experiance with. Since culture has taken an extremely odd turn in the last century, so have what words could be considered offencive.

[Autoptic]

Culture dictated to morality too. As in, look up the old definition of vulgar. It just means common. Vulgar in the old sense was vulgar in the current sense to the ladies and gentlemen in the old sense as it was lowly. Notice ladies and gentlemen. That and related though modified bullshit is still around too. Socially correct politeness is almost entirely based on it and other such nonsense.

[Tablelamp]

Hahaha, a "wordly" fashion sense. Facinating from a evolutionary perspective of sociology, but as useless and independant an entity as a current clothing fashion.

Bravo, Autoptic!

[Futuremouse]

i didn't see two of my favorite ones on there: mongoloid & front-bottom.

unfortunately, i tend to offend people at a pretty steady clip, due mostly to the way i like to use language. words are fun to twist and arrange and organize, and i will deliberately structure sentences and expressions into cadences that i find appealing. sometimes i'll choose words that are just plain more fun to say or more challenging to segue in or out of as a bit of a game.

the stumbling block is that a lot of people have knee-jerked so many words into 'un-PC' or 'offensive' based on archaic, negative connotations, and i like to rail against it, sometimes.

not to say that it doesn't get me in trouble from time to time, and depending on circumstance, i will offer disclaimers.

ex:

me - 'this shit is so gay'

them - :frown:

me - 'not homosexual gay, pejorative gay.'

them - :frown:

doesn't always work, mind you.

[SongofSeptember]

We, of course, are the only one who decide what's offensive and what's not.

I saw an article just last week about why so many swear words were related to God, sex, and ethnicity. If you think about it, aren't those some of the main "morality conflicts" people never cease to have with each other.

I can't find it anymore, but if anybody sees something like that on the net, please tell me.

[Colette]

I think I may have gotten off on a wrong tangent, or we might be discussing two types of offensive issues (language and content). I don’t cuss, and was raised to see it as a lack of education. It just does not sound right even when I try to use it in jokes or humor. As such I don’t use it. When I hear it; I will note it not as disrespect nor will I take offense with it, but my view of the person using it will be somewhat colored.
Direct “content” is my problem as I am very direct and that was how I look at the offense question in the post. I am sure I do offend some with my direct approach to issues.

Yep I'm the same. I don't like swearing...and like you was raised to regard it as showing a lack of breeding/education. Even though it's apparently more socially acceptable in a wider range of circles now than it once was, I still don't like it. I wouldn't say I'm actively 'offended', I just cringe inwardly when I hear it..