ESFJs

[mind_wander]

The inside self jokes, is a perfect example our own used encrypted tricks. I used them too, keeping note who is who. As for my team partner, I thought was ESTJ is not, but ESFJ.

Here is some key things:

ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.

The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves[Luckily I am INTJ to help fix that]. With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.

ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought.

All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment.

ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.

Alot of these things listed I totally agree. Speaking with an ESFJ felt very different. Someone actually understand me and not really question me so often. If it is a question on most cases its on topics, then moved onto the next thing. If its 2 things coming at once, my mind can sort it out. It does felt good to be felt accepted without being truely judged, but on most cases be juded on that we have some similar personality traits [counter-balance]. The E and F did not throw me off.This was a thread split.

[Firebert]

I have no clue why, but I absolutely cannot stand ESFJs. They drive me nuts because people are so drawn to them. Maybe it's because we are so alien to that kind of person, but it just drives me up the wall when they try to understand me...even when they're right.

[deicruxified]

I have no clue why, but I absolutely cannot stand ESFJs. *They drive me nuts because people are so drawn to them. *Maybe it's because we are so alien to that kind of person, but it just drives me up the wall when they try to understand me...even when they're right.
my mom is esfj :'( :scared:

[The Rose]

The ESFJ is a "How can I serve you" kind of a person. My sister in law is one. I like her. She seems very nice, friendly, honest, always smiling.

[INTJoe]

ESFJ's are great in like, 5 minute increments. Anything over that is overkill. My girlfriend's (ISTJ) mother is ESFJ.

Cool things she does: Cook dinner for me, save food for me, bring me clothes, buy me shoes, buy me wallet (none of which I would do on my own). It took a long time to get used to this, as I'm very proud and never ask for financial help, but I eventually gave in because it seemed to give her great pleasure. Also, they have plenty of money so I stopped feeling bad about it long ago and figured why fight it?

Crappy things: Ask me 17 times if I want more green beans, after me saying no thanks 16 times. Clean my apartment, stack my papers in "one neat pile" <--- why? I know where everything is. When my girl and I go on vacation, she will come over that morning AND BEGIN PACKING MY CLOTHES FOR ME FOR PETE'S SAKE! All the while I'm flat out telling her, "Please, let me pack my own stuff. It'll be fine." That is her and I clashing at the apex. She CONSTANTLY complains, or at least, makes it known, about all the work she has to do and people to help, while never being able to say "no". I really, as an INTJ, don't want to hear this crap. Learn to say "No". Hell, learn to LIE. Stop helping people!!!

Mainly I wish she could relax as her heartbeat is like 120 bpm. And she constantly uses her hands which are arthritic, and she'll dust the kitchen ceiling at 2am and fall on her hip. She does not take good care of her physical self.

[Vayate]

I have no clue why, but I absolutely cannot stand ESFJs. They drive me nuts because people are so drawn to them. Maybe it's because we are so alien to that kind of person, but it just drives me up the wall when they try to understand me...even when they're right.
my mom is esfj :'( :scared:
Mine too. :'( It's horrible. She interrupts me when I'm concentrating on a project, I am annoyed with her and ask her to come back later because I'm busy, she asks why I'm "being mean, I ignore her, she goes away. Rinse and repeat. That, or she bothers me with inane things at inappropriate times, eg shoving my mail under the bathroom door when I'm in the shower. WTF? Couldn't it wait for like 10 minutes? Argh. Hate.

[mind_wander]

ESFJ's are great in like, 5 minute increments. *Anything over that is overkill. *My girlfriend's (ISTJ) mother is ESFJ.

Cool things she does: *Cook dinner for me, save food for me, bring me clothes, buy me shoes, buy me wallet (none of which I would do on my own). *It took a long time to get used to this, as I'm very proud and never ask for financial help, but I eventually gave in because it seemed to give her great pleasure. *Also, they have plenty of money so I stopped feeling bad about it long ago and figured why fight it?

Crappy things: *Ask me 17 times if I want more green beans, after me saying no thanks 16 times. *Clean my apartment, stack my papers in "one neat pile" *<--- why? *I know where everything is. *When my girl and I go on vacation, she will come over that morning AND BEGIN PACKING MY CLOTHES FOR ME FOR PETE'S SAKE! *All the while I'm flat out telling her, "Please, let me pack my own stuff. *It'll be fine." *That is her and I clashing at the apex. *She CONSTANTLY complains, or at least, makes it known, about all the work she has to do and people to help, while never being able to say "no". *I really, as an INTJ, don't want to hear this crap. *Learn to say "No". *Hell, learn to LIE. *Stop helping people!!!

Mainly I wish she could relax as her heartbeat is like 120 bpm. *And she constantly uses her hands which are arthritic, and she'll dust the kitchen ceiling at 2am and fall on her hip. *She does not take good care of her physical self.
lol, Did you ever thought of saying. No more green beans, I am very full, really I am grateful. Too much green beans, then I will turned green, for sure.

[Firelie]

That, or she bothers me with inane things at inappropriate times, eg shoving my mail under the bathroom door when I'm in the shower. WTF? Couldn't it wait for like 10 minutes? Argh. Hate.


ROFL WTF indeed. Can't she just...I dunno... put it on your bed? Does she think you'll gleefully rip into the envelopes as soon as they're visible or something? What a strange behaviour.

[Jennywocky]

ROFL WTF indeed. Can't she just...I dunno... put it on your bed? Does she think you'll gleefully rip into the envelopes as soon as they're visible or something? What a strange behaviour.

I have to admit this one left me giggling... such a typical xSFJ move! :D

[orange]

I have no clue why, but I absolutely cannot stand ESFJs. *They drive me nuts because people are so drawn to them. *Maybe it's because we are so alien to that kind of person, but it just drives me up the wall when they try to understand me...even when they're right.

could it be that the ESFx sees everything the oposite way that you do and the xxxJ makes them know that their way of thinking is correct?

[thegnat]

I have no clue why, but I absolutely cannot stand ESFJs. They drive me nuts because people are so drawn to them. Maybe it's because we are so alien to that kind of person, but it just drives me up the wall when they try to understand me...even when they're right.
my mom is esfj :'( :scared:
Mine too. :'( It's horrible. She interrupts me when I'm concentrating on a project, I am annoyed with her and ask her to come back later because I'm busy, she asks why I'm "being mean, I ignore her, she goes away. Rinse and repeat. That, or she bothers me with inane things at inappropriate times, eg shoving my mail under the bathroom door when I'm in the shower. WTF? Couldn't it wait for like 10 minutes? Argh. Hate.

I believe mine is too. That's the *exact* same way my mom acts. Except I'm at college and away from her - but she calls me while I'm working usually, what not because I don't have a life outside of academics and tennis, etc. frustrating for sure. Then she gives me the "try to see it from my standpoint" and I'm thinking "Why don't you try to see it from my standpoint some time?" And then she gives the "ungrateful" speech...all probably due to a comment I said about oh something trivial that she disagreed with. mountains out of molehills.....

orange I think your theory is pretty good. Mom and I disagree a lot with opinion and thought processes and she always believes she's right and I always believe I'm right....Then it goes long because she gets offended so easily then she has to start a new argument that say I'm mean or what not...and so on....

I believe my cousin is that way too. Mom and her get along - but the cousin is a lot louder and more annoying about it - and annoys mom, too. Especially since they have some disagreements in opinion. I can't stand to be around my cousin for longer than 1 hour. I can be around mom because I'm used to her. Unless she's picking on me for something like being anti-social or what not....

they're great for short periods of time....

edit: I'm cool about it all though because I recognize it as a difference in personality.

[GOD]

ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.

Sticky Icky marshmallows.


The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves[Luckily I am INTJ to help fix that]. With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.

LOL.. but also, "often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whomever" Yeah, wimps and turn coats. I call then "YES MEN".


ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought.

Potentially very gullible I read.



All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment.

ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.

Yip, a small house with a picket fence and 2.2 kids. Job for life, pension and a frontal lobotomy.

Sorry, but these types just don't do it for me. Not feisty, not aggressive, not perceptive and not prepared to back their convictions. Sure they are nice... but GOD DAMNED BORING.

Oh, the sarcasm is on a roll.... *:P

[deicruxified]

Crappy things: *Ask me 17 times if I want more green beans, after me saying no thanks 16 times. *Clean my apartment, stack my papers in "one neat pile" *<--- why? *I know where everything is. *When my girl and I go on vacation, she will come over that morning AND BEGIN PACKING MY CLOTHES FOR ME FOR PETE'S SAKE! *All the while I'm flat out telling her, "Please, let me pack my own stuff. *It'll be fine." *That is her and I clashing at the apex. *She CONSTANTLY complains, or at least, makes it known, about all the work she has to do and people to help, while never being able to say "no". *I really, as an INTJ, don't want to hear this crap. *Learn to say "No". *Hell, learn to LIE. *Stop helping people!!!


something i hate about my mom being an esfj. not only that, my mom was really pushy about me taking law and she often says, "it's for your own good..." yack yack as if i don't know what i really want.

[deicruxified]

I have no clue why, but I absolutely cannot stand ESFJs. *They drive me nuts because people are so drawn to them. *Maybe it's because we are so alien to that kind of person, but it just drives me up the wall when they try to understand me...even when they're right.
my mom is esfj *:'( :scared:
Mine too. *:'( It's horrible. She interrupts me when I'm concentrating on a project, I am annoyed with her and ask her to come back later because I'm busy, she asks why I'm "being mean, I ignore her, she goes away. Rinse and repeat. That, or she bothers me with inane things at inappropriate times, eg shoving my mail under the bathroom door when I'm in the shower. WTF? Couldn't it wait for like 10 minutes? Argh. Hate.
i can relate *:'( there are times when i need to be alone. then she opens my door without knocking asking me if i wanted something to eat or if i have a problem etc... i tell her, "i'm ok, please knock next time". whenever she "bashes" through the door, i think i'm going to have a heart attack. so one day, i tried locking the door, she knocked, yack yack.... then the knocking was gone. after a few minutes i hear keys and gawd... opened my door!!! and gave me fruit juice, junk food, whatever food, turns on the tv, tries to start a conversation, calls some of my friends to come over... aaaaaaaaaa!

[mind_wander]

lol, talking about enforcing you to opened up.

[Firebert]

could it be that the ESFx sees everything the oposite way that you do and the xxxJ makes them know that their way of thinking is correct?

haha, that's what I was thinking. It wouldn't be so bad with a P, then at least they'd shut up about it. They're just so darn stubborn about their ideas, and then they get really offended when you get upset because they won't consider another idea.

[wolf]

I dislike them, they are so illogical. Some of the things you mention are also traits of ISFJs, and I do appreciate when they do many of these things, though they often go overboard about it.

The packing thing reminds me of her, the mail under the door, etc. I constantly wonder what's wrong with them or why they think there's something wrong with my ability to do things for myself. The problem is they seem to get hurt when you insist they don't need to do these things. As a result, I just let them do what they're going to do... Then again, it irks me when they hold it over my head that I let them... There's just no way to win with them, you always end up looking bad, and I hate that I can't win anything involving them.