View Full Version : Just killing time between serious post game.
Sequoia
03-11-2009, 10:15 PM
Q: Where do dust bunnies procreate?
A: It got popcorned.
Nikita
03-11-2009, 10:18 PM
Q: What happened to the Indian's last remaining tooth?
A: No flash photography allowed.
Sequoia
03-11-2009, 10:23 PM
Q: Can my child take pictures of these ancient documents to complete her homework assignment?
A: Billions of ants are in here.
Bobert
03-12-2009, 02:06 AM
Q. You have how many what in there?
A. Tastey Little Cereal Bars all natural soft-baked snack bars.
Sequoia
03-12-2009, 11:53 AM
Q: Whate are Quaker Oat Bars?
A: She went out and purchased far too much of it.
Bobert
03-12-2009, 12:31 PM
Q. What is feminine hygiene spray?
A. Fly by night.
Nikita
03-12-2009, 07:59 PM
Q: What mode of transportation is least recommended by Van Helsing?
A: Juicy Lucy
rwyatt365
03-13-2009, 07:54 AM
Q: What did they call Linus' sister after her unfortunate water cooler incident.
A: It turned blue.
Harmony
03-13-2009, 08:46 AM
Q. What color the results of the pregnancy test turned?
A. She was such a snob.
Sequoia
03-13-2009, 02:37 PM
Q: How could she become so full of herself and her alledged attributes?
A: It's relentless time pressure.
Bobert
03-13-2009, 07:43 PM
Q. What is sitting in traffic having to pee?
A. A deck of nude playing cards.
Nikita
03-13-2009, 07:44 PM
Q: What was found in Grant's tomb?
A: Ping.
Sequoia
03-13-2009, 07:45 PM
Q: What is redundant at strip poker?
A: It reduces to a black gloppy foul smelling substance.
Q: (to Nikita) What's the sound of a fork hitting crystal?
Nikita
03-13-2009, 07:49 PM
Q: What happens when Sequoia cooks the soup?
A: Happy happy joy joy, BOYYYYY.
Sequoia
03-13-2009, 07:53 PM
Q: What does Nikita sing after sex?
A: She stumbled in out of breath.
Nikita
03-13-2009, 07:56 PM
Q: How would you describe Sequoia after she walked from the kitchen into the dining room?
A: Fire ant surprise.
Jonathan Brewer
03-14-2009, 09:59 AM
Q. What was in store for me after kicking over those stupid dirt mounds?
A. About eight, though I'd prefer nine, yet still better than seven.
Nikita
03-14-2009, 12:49 PM
Q: How many wives do you plan to collect for your harem?
A: Bucktooth grin
Sequoia
03-14-2009, 02:54 PM
Q: What do I see a board full of right now?
A: It makes the very best tea.
Nikita
03-14-2009, 07:45 PM
Q: What do you do with your urine on a camping trip?
A: Get nachos at the game.
Reganon
03-14-2009, 07:49 PM
Q: What will be one of Nikita's wedding vows?
A: Once every Thursday
Nikita
03-14-2009, 08:02 PM
Q: How often does Reganon think for herself?
A: Duct tape princess.
Reganon
03-14-2009, 08:23 PM
Q: What is Nikita's official title?
A: Captain Underpants
Nikita
03-14-2009, 08:24 PM
Q: Who is Reganon's wife?
A: Mr. Terrific is a lush
Reganon
03-14-2009, 09:29 PM
Q: Which story made the front page of the Times today?
A: 99 red balloons
Nikita
03-14-2009, 09:32 PM
Q: How did the eHarmony lovebirds identify one another in the Roman piazza?
A: Prescription side effects
Sequoia
03-16-2009, 12:38 PM
Q: How did they figure out of a new medicine really works?
A: It was a most unusual outfit.
Nikita
03-16-2009, 12:45 PM
Q: What was the reaction to Wapiti running around INTJf in his birthday suit?
A: And they're off!
Sequoia
03-16-2009, 12:47 PM
Q: What was shouted in glee when a large group joined him?
A: How many puns were in there?
Nikita
03-16-2009, 12:50 PM
Q: What question was asked by the Idealist who refused to count because it neglected all of the numbers higher than the result?
A: He used the speculum.
Sequoia
03-16-2009, 02:32 PM
Q: How did he frost those brownies? (yuck...)
A: These dangerous dinosaurs are still around and delicious.
Wapiti
03-16-2009, 02:38 PM
Q: What would be the best thing to say just before eating a prefectly preserved, 25 year old box of Twinkies.
A: Bleach and Ammonia.
Sequoia
03-16-2009, 05:16 PM
Q: What's the best way to kill oneself while cleaning house?
A: Ping pong is apparently a lethal game.
callmemigs
03-16-2009, 07:27 PM
Q: What do you call a vindictive housewife?
A: Vacuum cleaner
Nikita
03-16-2009, 07:45 PM
Q: What did Stiffler use instead of the apple pie?
A: His breast implants popped.
Sequoia
03-16-2009, 07:57 PM
Q: What on earth happened to Arnold?
A: All the time tables scrambled.
Nikita
03-16-2009, 07:58 PM
Q: Why didn't the earth's technological centers crash when the new millenium hit?
A: 6 feet, I fathom
callmemigs
03-16-2009, 08:00 PM
Q: What does U.S.A. really stands for?
A: Universal Stalagmites of Arcadia
Nikita
03-16-2009, 08:02 PM
Q: Who is organizing the next presidential election in Rwanda?
A: He is our Morrie.
callmemigs
03-16-2009, 08:03 PM
Q: Why is the Philippines called the Philippines?
A: Because everybody in the Philippines are named Philip.
Nikita
03-16-2009, 08:13 PM
(callmemigs - you do know that this works like Jeopardy, right? the question you ask is supposed to be the question to which the previous answer applies, then you post the next answer for someone to derive a question for)
Q: Why were the Philippines voted the least original country?
A: Breathing is tied to performance.
rwyatt365
03-17-2009, 12:06 PM
Q: Why did the first underwater Channel-Crossing attempt fail 20 yards offshore?
A: Up, then to the right 13cm.
Nikita
03-17-2009, 12:30 PM
Q: What is the curvature of rwyatt's...piston?
A: Slingshot bunny
altoid
03-17-2009, 03:16 PM
Q: What sport will make its Olympic debut in 2012?
A: A car full of wet monkeys.
Sequoia
03-17-2009, 05:20 PM
Q: What is that bundle of wet quivering fur in there?
A: This is proof that schedules are an illusion.
Nikita
03-17-2009, 06:54 PM
Q: What is the content of the XNTP's brain?
A: Just as I said.
Sequoia
03-18-2009, 05:55 PM
Q: You sure that she's supposed to insert that liquid into that solution? Are you absolutely sure?
A: The result was that city sized crater over there.
Nikita
03-18-2009, 07:25 PM
Q: What happened just after the ISTP grabbed a satchel of homemade gunpowder, a PVC pipe, a can of aerosol hairspray, and a screwdriver and called out, "Hey guys, watch this!"?
A: She snickered when he dropped his pants.
Sequoia
03-19-2009, 02:51 PM
Q: Why won't he talk about last night's date to his friends?
A: That's the most creative use of a word in awhile.
Bobert
03-19-2009, 06:11 PM
Q. Have you ever heard anyone say something like that?
A. Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.
Sequoia
03-19-2009, 08:31 PM
Q: What is sex education at its most basic?
A: That's an awful lot of hot air.
Nikita
03-19-2009, 08:33 PM
Q: What did the doctor say when he looked into Jessica Simpson's right ear at her last check-up?
A: You can see your reflection in there!
Sequoia
03-19-2009, 08:42 PM
Q: What did the doctor say looking into Jessica Simpson's left ear at her last check-up?
A: That's quite an echo effect.
Nikita
03-19-2009, 08:43 PM
Q: What did the ENTP say when listening to the gaggle of INTJs trading religious beliefs?
A: I apologize for my rudeness earlier, but you see, I recently got a bad Hummer.
Sequoia
03-19-2009, 08:46 PM
Q: What did Arnold say about explaining his infamous "Girly men" remark?
A: Ah....now that is really relaxing.
Nikita
03-19-2009, 08:48 PM
Q: What did the deadbeat say after the hooker climbed off and grabbed a cigarette?
A: A bit of somethin' somethin'.
Sequoia
03-19-2009, 08:52 PM
Q: What did the really distracted person say when asked what was in the meal he just ate?
A: It's used to make really beautiful music.
Nikita
03-19-2009, 08:57 PM
Q: What did the entomologist lament upon wiping his cricket off of the sole of his now ex-girlfriend's stiletto?
A: You're my hero!
rwyatt365
03-20-2009, 07:21 AM
Q: What did the aforementioned girlfriend exclaim after seeing the squished cricket?
A: Big...really, really big.
Wapiti
03-20-2009, 07:32 AM
Q: What does Wapiti not hear often enough.
A: Toothpicks and tater tots.
Nikita
03-20-2009, 03:36 PM
Q: What does Wapiti hear wayyyyy too often?
A: Just kickin' it.
Sequoia
03-20-2009, 06:43 PM
Q: What do people do to egos in the Rumors thread?
A: That's a great bought of whimsey.
ranwayslo
03-20-2009, 11:26 PM
Q: How much whimsey is that?
A: 16 shots ago.
Nikita
03-21-2009, 02:37 PM
Q: When was he last walking upright?
A: Hard salami and an ironing board
Sequoia
03-21-2009, 07:32 PM
Q: What is that WEIRD smell?
A: I have to keep reminding myself that repetative housework isn't futile.
Nikita
03-22-2009, 11:42 PM
Q: What was Lizzie Borden thinking upon straightening up the house in anticipation of police entry?
A: A dime a cousin.
rwyatt365
03-23-2009, 12:49 PM
Q: What is the going rate for marriages in Tennessee?
A: 14-inches, but only when you straighten it out.
Sequoia
03-23-2009, 07:26 PM
Q: How long was the pig's tail that won the blue ribbon at the state fair?
A: That's really a tough competition.
Nikita
03-23-2009, 10:49 PM
Q: How did the judges of the Little Miss Wooden Teeth America pageant feel about the contestants?
A: Job hunt season requires a special permit.
rwyatt365
03-24-2009, 09:37 AM
Q: What was on the banner page of Monster.com yesterday?
A: Squishy, but only if you hold it too hard.
Nikita
03-24-2009, 02:25 PM
Q: How does a gerbil feel in your fist?
A: It's leaking on the carpet.
Sequoia
03-24-2009, 07:10 PM
Q: What is your child doing?
A: Going in circles seems preferable
Nikita
03-24-2009, 07:48 PM
Q: What are your thoughts on linear problem solving?
A: Semantics bit him in the ass.
Sequoia
03-24-2009, 09:08 PM
Q: Why was he comptemplating wienie roasts?
A: That's a great example of a fractal food.
Nikita
03-24-2009, 09:19 PM
Q: How would you describe Thanksgiving dinner that was inhaled and later regurgitated?
A: 5!
gestalt
03-25-2009, 02:23 AM
Q: Was he really as drunk as he "seemed"?
A: Lefty-loosey 20 lbs when he took a crap on spiraling.
Nikita
03-25-2009, 10:34 PM
Q: What was gestalt's experience with peyote?
A: Humanoid breeding.
rwyatt365
03-26-2009, 07:09 AM
Q: What was the answer to the Venusian food shortage problem?
A: I pushed the button but nothing happened.
Bobert
03-26-2009, 07:15 AM
Q. What happened when rwyatt found the clitoris?
A. The devil's playground.
rwyatt365
03-26-2009, 07:22 AM
Q: What is the clitoris to Bobert?
A: It's way too tight.
Bobert
03-26-2009, 07:29 AM
Q. What's the purpose of this here condom anyway?
A. There's a lot of moisture in here.
Wapiti
03-26-2009, 08:09 AM
Q: What does Bobert say to himself while taking a cold shower.
A: The flag pole fell over.
rwyatt365
03-26-2009, 08:52 AM
Q: What does she say when you...you know?
A: And then the sky brightened.
Wapiti
03-26-2009, 09:46 AM
Q: What does she say when...you know?
A: 35 cents an hour.
rwyatt365
03-26-2009, 10:29 AM
Q: What is the reason why my consulting business never quite got off the ground?
A: First gray, now blue.
Wapiti
03-26-2009, 10:44 AM
Q: What colors have you painted your finger nails?
A: Peanut butter toast.
Bobert
03-26-2009, 11:05 AM
Q. What is this next to my banana?
A. Tennis elbow.
Harmony
03-26-2009, 11:32 AM
Q. What was throwing his golf swing off?
A. You can't handle the truth.
Sequoia
03-26-2009, 02:32 PM
Q: What did she tell him as he peeked inside her covers?
A: It's an overabundance of enthusiastic glee.
Wapiti
03-26-2009, 02:48 PM
Q: What did he tell her when she peeked under his covers.
A: Coke and a smile.
Sequoia
03-26-2009, 02:53 PM
Q: What did he present to her at the end of the evening?
A: This game can be deadly.
rwyatt365
03-27-2009, 11:59 AM
Q: What is the first warning on the cover of the "Hand Grenade Badmitten" box?
A: Small, blue, and has wheels.
Harmony
03-27-2009, 01:45 PM
Q. What was rwyatt's first car...at the age of 3?
A. She gave him spiked punch.
Bobert
03-27-2009, 07:09 PM
Q. What did Kim give Bobert with intentions of seduction?
A. My hands are tied.
Harmony
03-29-2009, 01:30 PM
Q. What happened after Bobert accepted the drink?
A. Apples and Oranges
gestalt
03-29-2009, 02:57 PM
Q. What's so important about your toe-nails?
A. You vote with your feet, not your fingers.
Sequoia
03-29-2009, 08:33 PM
Q: how do you protest a rigged election?
A: It's even better than keylime pie!
Q: What does a boy say after giving his first kiss to his neigbor sweetheart?
A: Las Vegas, Nevada
Synchronicity
04-05-2009, 04:00 PM
Q: Where can you have the best and worst time of your life at once?
A: Five dollars and a cup of coffee.
Bobert
04-05-2009, 04:42 PM
Q. What do you get for $20 at Starbucks?
A. Mystery meat.
gestalt
04-06-2009, 10:10 AM
Q. What'd the Big Mac say to the Big and Tasty?
A. I'm going to quarter you alive!
Sequoia
04-06-2009, 03:02 PM
Q: What did the irate man say to the fed reserve when he found what inflation was about to do to his portfolio?
A: Like lemmings, they perrished.
Synchronicity
04-07-2009, 10:22 AM
Q: What is one possible way to misspell "perish" and use it in a sentence?
A: A sudden increase in temperature.
rwyatt365
04-07-2009, 11:12 AM
Q: What happens when you rub two SF's together?
A: A small, green pill.
Wapiti
04-07-2009, 01:31 PM
Q: What would make me really happy right now?
A: Spearmint saddle.
gestalt
04-07-2009, 03:39 PM
Q. What's another word for "spearmint saddle"?
A. Rugburn.
Sequoia
04-07-2009, 07:04 PM
Q: What do you get when you do a sliding dive for that last m&m that rolled across the floor?
A: Like lemmings, they perished.
(:p)
Q: What happened to those ants when that boy showed up with his magnifying glass.
A: "Ah, they'll get over it"
rwyatt365
04-08-2009, 04:36 AM
Q: What does the psychopathic mom say about the grandparents who discover her handywork in their basement?
A: The cup was half-empty.
Q: Why didn't Joey die after drinking the Kool-Aid?
A: Sunday morning in Church.
Sequoia
04-08-2009, 02:40 PM
Q: What is the place you're least likely to find me?
A: That's vintage perfection.
rwyatt365
04-09-2009, 08:39 AM
Q: What did the 10 year-old think while watching Madonna on MTV?
A: First green, then yellow, then red.
Wapiti
04-09-2009, 01:18 PM
Q: What are the fastest colors known to man. Listed fastests to slowest.
A: Free the rice.
gestalt
04-09-2009, 02:36 PM
Q. What happened last time the rice was cleaned too quickly?
A. Someone broke a tooth.
Sequoia
04-09-2009, 10:02 PM
Q: Who put the stones in the stone soup?
A: He really enjoyed the fried tarantula.
rwyatt365
04-10-2009, 12:25 PM
Q: What do you tell your guests wife after she turns green at the sight of your Bug Souffle?
A: Deep, deep wrinkles.
Wapiti
04-10-2009, 01:04 PM
Q: Why does Joan Rivers use so much makeup?
A: Double wide bonanza.
Q: What do you call a party at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch?
A: "It was uncomfortable at first, but then I really liked it"
rwyatt365
04-10-2009, 03:31 PM
Q: What happens after staring at Rudy's avatar too long?
A: She took the remote control.
gestalt
04-10-2009, 03:34 PM
Q. Who got grandfathered in?
A. Sonny.
Q: What do you say to your girlfriend when she calls you "daddy" during sex?
A: Noodles
Sequoia
04-11-2009, 09:13 PM
Q: What word do you use when &*)% *%$#@ isn't appropriate under the circumstances?
A: That's how those tubes that keep children afloat got their name.
Stratego
05-16-2009, 08:39 PM
Simple. I'll make a statement, and the poster that replies after me has to come up with a question that suits that answer. Then they in turn make a statement that the next poster will fashion a question for, and so on.
Example:
Me: Beets.
Reply-ee: What's the main ingrediant in Borscht?
Milan.
Except hopefully more creative and funny than my example... :bucktooth:
Okay. My statement:
Bridal Gown.
Sequoia
05-16-2009, 09:07 PM
What did he wear to this year's Thanksgiving?
It's tofurky.
Synchronicity
05-16-2009, 10:12 PM
Ah, so basically it's Jeopardy without a matrix of TV screens? Wait... this seems familiar. Was there a thread like this before? Ah well, no matter.
What's the main reason there aren't more vegetarians in the world?
Many passionate kisses.
SelfInflected
05-16-2009, 10:16 PM
What usually happens right before the INTJ wakes up?
Lots of bubbles.
Sequoia
05-16-2009, 10:34 PM
How to describe individual realities?
Because there's popcorn flying all over the place.
SelfInflected
05-16-2009, 10:39 PM
Why is it again, that we can't land in this flaming corn field?
------------------------------------------------------
If you do, then you'll probably end up with the wrong underwear.
Synchronicity
05-16-2009, 10:48 PM
I'm too self-conscious. Can't I just get dressed with the lights still off?
Everyone just stood silent.
Sequoia
05-16-2009, 10:50 PM
What was the reaction to that awful gaffe?
They jumped up and down and clapped, laughing hysterically
SelfInflected
05-16-2009, 11:11 PM
What did all the kids do when Grandma installed The Clapper on Grandpa's life support machine?
Because you didn't use nails.
Stratego
05-17-2009, 05:16 PM
Why did Jesus survive the crucifixtion?
It's like string cheese, only not as yummy.
SelfInflected
05-17-2009, 09:53 PM
How did your drunk mother describe String Theory, again? :)
Don't ask me. I only saw her face.
Night Runner
07-09-2009, 05:47 AM
Did that woman have a target sign on her back? :suspicious:
A simple raspberry souffle.
paleoeco
07-09-2009, 06:15 AM
Why does your underwear have red skid marks?
---------------------
Synch smiled broadly when Zebra posted her comment.
themuzicman
07-09-2009, 06:50 AM
What happened when Zebra decided to proclaim undying love for Synch?
A duck with a flamethrower
Stratego
07-11-2009, 02:18 PM
What's the lastest weaponry in water-based warfare?
Too many notes. Just cut a few and it'll be perfect.
themuzicman
07-11-2009, 02:19 PM
What did the instructor say to the student who wrote flight of the bumblebee?
Pumpernickel
Stratego
07-11-2009, 02:29 PM
What's another, more polite name for a cow patty?
By that time, my lungs were aching for air.
themuzicman
07-11-2009, 02:32 PM
What did the woman say describing when her guy had taken 20 minutes of pumping and hadn't finished, yet?
Harry Potter
Nikita
07-13-2009, 03:01 AM
What book series is recommended by prison therapists to awaken criminals to the perils of evil's search and yearning for unlimited power?
Cambridge boys
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