View Full Version : Just killing time between serious post game.
03-11-2009, 11:15 PM
Q: Where do dust bunnies procreate?
A: It got popcorned.
03-11-2009, 11:18 PM
Q: What happened to the Indian's last remaining tooth?
A: No flash photography allowed.
03-11-2009, 11:23 PM
Q: Can my child take pictures of these ancient documents to complete her homework assignment?
A: Billions of ants are in here.
03-12-2009, 03:06 AM
Q. You have how many what in there?
A. Tastey Little Cereal Bars all natural soft-baked snack bars.
03-12-2009, 12:53 PM
Q: Whate are Quaker Oat Bars?
A: She went out and purchased far too much of it.
03-12-2009, 01:31 PM
Q. What is feminine hygiene spray?
A. Fly by night.
03-12-2009, 08:59 PM
Q: What mode of transportation is least recommended by Van Helsing?
A: Juicy Lucy
03-13-2009, 08:54 AM
Q: What did they call Linus' sister after her unfortunate water cooler incident.
A: It turned blue.
03-13-2009, 09:46 AM
Q. What color the results of the pregnancy test turned?
A. She was such a snob.
03-13-2009, 03:37 PM
Q: How could she become so full of herself and her alledged attributes?
A: It's relentless time pressure.
03-13-2009, 08:43 PM
Q. What is sitting in traffic having to pee?
A. A deck of nude playing cards.
03-13-2009, 08:44 PM
Q: What was found in Grant's tomb?
03-13-2009, 08:45 PM
Q: What is redundant at strip poker?
A: It reduces to a black gloppy foul smelling substance.
Q: (to Nikita) What's the sound of a fork hitting crystal?
03-13-2009, 08:49 PM
Q: What happens when Sequoia cooks the soup?
A: Happy happy joy joy, BOYYYYY.
03-13-2009, 08:53 PM
Q: What does Nikita sing after sex?
A: She stumbled in out of breath.
03-13-2009, 08:56 PM
Q: How would you describe Sequoia after she walked from the kitchen into the dining room?
A: Fire ant surprise.
03-14-2009, 10:59 AM
Q. What was in store for me after kicking over those stupid dirt mounds?
A. About eight, though I'd prefer nine, yet still better than seven.
03-14-2009, 01:49 PM
Q: How many wives do you plan to collect for your harem?
A: Bucktooth grin
03-14-2009, 03:54 PM
Q: What do I see a board full of right now?
A: It makes the very best tea.
03-14-2009, 08:45 PM
Q: What do you do with your urine on a camping trip?
A: Get nachos at the game.
03-14-2009, 08:49 PM
Q: What will be one of Nikita's wedding vows?
A: Once every Thursday
03-14-2009, 09:02 PM
Q: How often does Reganon think for herself?
A: Duct tape princess.
03-14-2009, 09:23 PM
Q: What is Nikita's official title?
A: Captain Underpants
03-14-2009, 09:24 PM
Q: Who is Reganon's wife?
A: Mr. Terrific is a lush
03-14-2009, 10:29 PM
Q: Which story made the front page of the Times today?
A: 99 red balloons
03-14-2009, 10:32 PM
Q: How did the eHarmony lovebirds identify one another in the Roman piazza?
A: Prescription side effects
03-16-2009, 01:38 PM
Q: How did they figure out of a new medicine really works?
A: It was a most unusual outfit.
03-16-2009, 01:45 PM
Q: What was the reaction to Wapiti running around INTJf in his birthday suit?
A: And they're off!
03-16-2009, 01:47 PM
Q: What was shouted in glee when a large group joined him?
A: How many puns were in there?
03-16-2009, 01:50 PM
Q: What question was asked by the Idealist who refused to count because it neglected all of the numbers higher than the result?
A: He used the speculum.
03-16-2009, 03:32 PM
Q: How did he frost those brownies? (yuck...)
A: These dangerous dinosaurs are still around and delicious.
03-16-2009, 03:38 PM
Q: What would be the best thing to say just before eating a prefectly preserved, 25 year old box of Twinkies.
A: Bleach and Ammonia.
03-16-2009, 06:16 PM
Q: What's the best way to kill oneself while cleaning house?
A: Ping pong is apparently a lethal game.
03-16-2009, 08:27 PM
Q: What do you call a vindictive housewife?
A: Vacuum cleaner
03-16-2009, 08:45 PM
Q: What did Stiffler use instead of the apple pie?
A: His breast implants popped.
03-16-2009, 08:57 PM
Q: What on earth happened to Arnold?
A: All the time tables scrambled.
03-16-2009, 08:58 PM
Q: Why didn't the earth's technological centers crash when the new millenium hit?
A: 6 feet, I fathom
03-16-2009, 09:00 PM
Q: What does U.S.A. really stands for?
A: Universal Stalagmites of Arcadia
03-16-2009, 09:02 PM
Q: Who is organizing the next presidential election in Rwanda?
A: He is our Morrie.
03-16-2009, 09:03 PM
Q: Why is the Philippines called the Philippines?
A: Because everybody in the Philippines are named Philip.
03-16-2009, 09:13 PM
(callmemigs - you do know that this works like Jeopardy, right? the question you ask is supposed to be the question to which the previous answer applies, then you post the next answer for someone to derive a question for)
Q: Why were the Philippines voted the least original country?
A: Breathing is tied to performance.
03-17-2009, 01:06 PM
Q: Why did the first underwater Channel-Crossing attempt fail 20 yards offshore?
A: Up, then to the right 13cm.
03-17-2009, 01:30 PM
Q: What is the curvature of rwyatt's...piston?
A: Slingshot bunny
03-17-2009, 04:16 PM
Q: What sport will make its Olympic debut in 2012?
A: A car full of wet monkeys.
03-17-2009, 06:20 PM
Q: What is that bundle of wet quivering fur in there?
A: This is proof that schedules are an illusion.
03-17-2009, 07:54 PM
Q: What is the content of the XNTP's brain?
A: Just as I said.
03-18-2009, 06:55 PM
Q: You sure that she's supposed to insert that liquid into that solution? Are you absolutely sure?
A: The result was that city sized crater over there.
03-18-2009, 08:25 PM
Q: What happened just after the ISTP grabbed a satchel of homemade gunpowder, a PVC pipe, a can of aerosol hairspray, and a screwdriver and called out, "Hey guys, watch this!"?
A: She snickered when he dropped his pants.
03-19-2009, 03:51 PM
Q: Why won't he talk about last night's date to his friends?
A: That's the most creative use of a word in awhile.
03-19-2009, 07:11 PM
Q. Have you ever heard anyone say something like that?
A. Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.
03-19-2009, 09:31 PM
Q: What is sex education at its most basic?
A: That's an awful lot of hot air.
03-19-2009, 09:33 PM
Q: What did the doctor say when he looked into Jessica Simpson's right ear at her last check-up?
A: You can see your reflection in there!
03-19-2009, 09:42 PM
Q: What did the doctor say looking into Jessica Simpson's left ear at her last check-up?
A: That's quite an echo effect.
03-19-2009, 09:43 PM
Q: What did the ENTP say when listening to the gaggle of INTJs trading religious beliefs?
A: I apologize for my rudeness earlier, but you see, I recently got a bad Hummer.
03-19-2009, 09:46 PM
Q: What did Arnold say about explaining his infamous "Girly men" remark?
A: Ah....now that is really relaxing.
03-19-2009, 09:48 PM
Q: What did the deadbeat say after the hooker climbed off and grabbed a cigarette?
A: A bit of somethin' somethin'.
03-19-2009, 09:52 PM
Q: What did the really distracted person say when asked what was in the meal he just ate?
A: It's used to make really beautiful music.
03-19-2009, 09:57 PM
Q: What did the entomologist lament upon wiping his cricket off of the sole of his now ex-girlfriend's stiletto?
A: You're my hero!
03-20-2009, 08:21 AM
Q: What did the aforementioned girlfriend exclaim after seeing the squished cricket?
A: Big...really, really big.
03-20-2009, 08:32 AM
Q: What does Wapiti not hear often enough.
A: Toothpicks and tater tots.
03-20-2009, 04:36 PM
Q: What does Wapiti hear wayyyyy too often?
A: Just kickin' it.
03-20-2009, 07:43 PM
Q: What do people do to egos in the Rumors thread?
A: That's a great bought of whimsey.
03-21-2009, 12:26 AM
Q: How much whimsey is that?
A: 16 shots ago.
03-21-2009, 03:37 PM
Q: When was he last walking upright?
A: Hard salami and an ironing board
03-21-2009, 08:32 PM
Q: What is that WEIRD smell?
A: I have to keep reminding myself that repetative housework isn't futile.
03-23-2009, 12:42 AM
Q: What was Lizzie Borden thinking upon straightening up the house in anticipation of police entry?
A: A dime a cousin.
03-23-2009, 01:49 PM
Q: What is the going rate for marriages in Tennessee?
A: 14-inches, but only when you straighten it out.
03-23-2009, 08:26 PM
Q: How long was the pig's tail that won the blue ribbon at the state fair?
A: That's really a tough competition.
03-23-2009, 11:49 PM
Q: How did the judges of the Little Miss Wooden Teeth America pageant feel about the contestants?
A: Job hunt season requires a special permit.
03-24-2009, 10:37 AM
Q: What was on the banner page of Monster.com yesterday?
A: Squishy, but only if you hold it too hard.
03-24-2009, 03:25 PM
Q: How does a gerbil feel in your fist?
A: It's leaking on the carpet.
03-24-2009, 08:10 PM
Q: What is your child doing?
A: Going in circles seems preferable
03-24-2009, 08:48 PM
Q: What are your thoughts on linear problem solving?
A: Semantics bit him in the ass.
03-24-2009, 10:08 PM
Q: Why was he comptemplating wienie roasts?
A: That's a great example of a fractal food.
03-24-2009, 10:19 PM
Q: How would you describe Thanksgiving dinner that was inhaled and later regurgitated?
03-25-2009, 03:23 AM
Q: Was he really as drunk as he "seemed"?
A: Lefty-loosey 20 lbs when he took a crap on spiraling.
03-25-2009, 11:34 PM
Q: What was gestalt's experience with peyote?
A: Humanoid breeding.
03-26-2009, 08:09 AM
Q: What was the answer to the Venusian food shortage problem?
A: I pushed the button but nothing happened.
03-26-2009, 08:15 AM
Q. What happened when rwyatt found the clitoris?
A. The devil's playground.
03-26-2009, 08:22 AM
Q: What is the clitoris to Bobert?
A: It's way too tight.
03-26-2009, 08:29 AM
Q. What's the purpose of this here condom anyway?
A. There's a lot of moisture in here.
03-26-2009, 09:09 AM
Q: What does Bobert say to himself while taking a cold shower.
A: The flag pole fell over.
03-26-2009, 09:52 AM
Q: What does she say when you...you know?
A: And then the sky brightened.
03-26-2009, 10:46 AM
Q: What does she say when...you know?
A: 35 cents an hour.
03-26-2009, 11:29 AM
Q: What is the reason why my consulting business never quite got off the ground?
A: First gray, now blue.
03-26-2009, 11:44 AM
Q: What colors have you painted your finger nails?
A: Peanut butter toast.
03-26-2009, 12:05 PM
Q. What is this next to my banana?
A. Tennis elbow.
03-26-2009, 12:32 PM
Q. What was throwing his golf swing off?
A. You can't handle the truth.
03-26-2009, 03:32 PM
Q: What did she tell him as he peeked inside her covers?
A: It's an overabundance of enthusiastic glee.
03-26-2009, 03:48 PM
Q: What did he tell her when she peeked under his covers.
A: Coke and a smile.
03-26-2009, 03:53 PM
Q: What did he present to her at the end of the evening?
A: This game can be deadly.
03-27-2009, 12:59 PM
Q: What is the first warning on the cover of the "Hand Grenade Badmitten" box?
A: Small, blue, and has wheels.
03-27-2009, 02:45 PM
Q. What was rwyatt's first car...at the age of 3?
A. She gave him spiked punch.
03-27-2009, 08:09 PM
Q. What did Kim give Bobert with intentions of seduction?
A. My hands are tied.
03-29-2009, 02:30 PM
Q. What happened after Bobert accepted the drink?
A. Apples and Oranges
03-29-2009, 03:57 PM
Q. What's so important about your toe-nails?
A. You vote with your feet, not your fingers.
03-29-2009, 09:33 PM
Q: how do you protest a rigged election?
A: It's even better than keylime pie!
Q: What does a boy say after giving his first kiss to his neigbor sweetheart?
A: Las Vegas, Nevada
04-05-2009, 05:00 PM
Q: Where can you have the best and worst time of your life at once?
A: Five dollars and a cup of coffee.
04-05-2009, 05:42 PM
Q. What do you get for $20 at Starbucks?
A. Mystery meat.
04-06-2009, 11:10 AM
Q. What'd the Big Mac say to the Big and Tasty?
A. I'm going to quarter you alive!
04-06-2009, 04:02 PM
Q: What did the irate man say to the fed reserve when he found what inflation was about to do to his portfolio?
A: Like lemmings, they perrished.
04-07-2009, 11:22 AM
Q: What is one possible way to misspell "perish" and use it in a sentence?
A: A sudden increase in temperature.
04-07-2009, 12:12 PM
Q: What happens when you rub two SF's together?
A: A small, green pill.
04-07-2009, 02:31 PM
Q: What would make me really happy right now?
A: Spearmint saddle.
04-07-2009, 04:39 PM
Q. What's another word for "spearmint saddle"?
04-07-2009, 08:04 PM
Q: What do you get when you do a sliding dive for that last m&m that rolled across the floor?
A: Like lemmings, they perished.
Q: What happened to those ants when that boy showed up with his magnifying glass.
A: "Ah, they'll get over it"
04-08-2009, 05:36 AM
Q: What does the psychopathic mom say about the grandparents who discover her handywork in their basement?
A: The cup was half-empty.
Q: Why didn't Joey die after drinking the Kool-Aid?
A: Sunday morning in Church.
04-08-2009, 03:40 PM
Q: What is the place you're least likely to find me?
A: That's vintage perfection.
04-09-2009, 09:39 AM
Q: What did the 10 year-old think while watching Madonna on MTV?
A: First green, then yellow, then red.
04-09-2009, 02:18 PM
Q: What are the fastest colors known to man. Listed fastests to slowest.
A: Free the rice.
04-09-2009, 03:36 PM
Q. What happened last time the rice was cleaned too quickly?
A. Someone broke a tooth.
04-09-2009, 11:02 PM
Q: Who put the stones in the stone soup?
A: He really enjoyed the fried tarantula.
04-10-2009, 01:25 PM
Q: What do you tell your guests wife after she turns green at the sight of your Bug Souffle?
A: Deep, deep wrinkles.
04-10-2009, 02:04 PM
Q: Why does Joan Rivers use so much makeup?
A: Double wide bonanza.
Q: What do you call a party at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch?
A: "It was uncomfortable at first, but then I really liked it"
04-10-2009, 04:31 PM
Q: What happens after staring at Rudy's avatar too long?
A: She took the remote control.
04-10-2009, 04:34 PM
Q. Who got grandfathered in?
Q: What do you say to your girlfriend when she calls you "daddy" during sex?
04-11-2009, 10:13 PM
Q: What word do you use when &*)% *%$#@ isn't appropriate under the circumstances?
A: That's how those tubes that keep children afloat got their name.
05-16-2009, 09:39 PM
Simple. I'll make a statement, and the poster that replies after me has to come up with a question that suits that answer. Then they in turn make a statement that the next poster will fashion a question for, and so on.
Reply-ee: What's the main ingrediant in Borscht?
Except hopefully more creative and funny than my example... :bucktooth:
Okay. My statement:
05-16-2009, 10:07 PM
What did he wear to this year's Thanksgiving?
05-16-2009, 11:12 PM
Ah, so basically it's Jeopardy without a matrix of TV screens? Wait... this seems familiar. Was there a thread like this before? Ah well, no matter.
What's the main reason there aren't more vegetarians in the world?
Many passionate kisses.
05-16-2009, 11:16 PM
What usually happens right before the INTJ wakes up?
Lots of bubbles.
05-16-2009, 11:34 PM
How to describe individual realities?
Because there's popcorn flying all over the place.
05-16-2009, 11:39 PM
Why is it again, that we can't land in this flaming corn field?
If you do, then you'll probably end up with the wrong underwear.
05-16-2009, 11:48 PM
I'm too self-conscious. Can't I just get dressed with the lights still off?
Everyone just stood silent.
05-16-2009, 11:50 PM
What was the reaction to that awful gaffe?
They jumped up and down and clapped, laughing hysterically
05-17-2009, 12:11 AM
What did all the kids do when Grandma installed The Clapper on Grandpa's life support machine?
Because you didn't use nails.
05-17-2009, 06:16 PM
Why did Jesus survive the crucifixtion?
It's like string cheese, only not as yummy.
05-17-2009, 10:53 PM
How did your drunk mother describe String Theory, again? :)
Don't ask me. I only saw her face.
07-09-2009, 06:47 AM
Did that woman have a target sign on her back? :suspicious:
A simple raspberry souffle.
07-09-2009, 07:15 AM
Why does your underwear have red skid marks?
Synch smiled broadly when Zebra posted her comment.
07-09-2009, 07:50 AM
What happened when Zebra decided to proclaim undying love for Synch?
A duck with a flamethrower
07-11-2009, 03:18 PM
What's the lastest weaponry in water-based warfare?
Too many notes. Just cut a few and it'll be perfect.
07-11-2009, 03:19 PM
What did the instructor say to the student who wrote flight of the bumblebee?
07-11-2009, 03:29 PM
What's another, more polite name for a cow patty?
By that time, my lungs were aching for air.
07-11-2009, 03:32 PM
What did the woman say describing when her guy had taken 20 minutes of pumping and hadn't finished, yet?
07-13-2009, 04:01 AM
What book series is recommended by prison therapists to awaken criminals to the perils of evil's search and yearning for unlimited power?
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