View Full Version : Just killing time between serious post game.
12-10-2008, 09:33 AM
Q. What do most people pee into the wind by?
A. Refractive lens.
12-10-2008, 10:24 AM
What is it that you can do without, in order to see me...ahem :p ...as a very beautiful woman?
A: All work and no play.
12-10-2008, 10:28 AM
Q. What will make you successful and crazy?
A. The reason why dead frogs now encircle the globe.
12-10-2008, 10:33 AM
Q: What is the result of an unfortunate incident on the Space Station?
A: Two left feet.
12-10-2008, 01:41 PM
Q. What is the most obscure disfigurement that the president-elect suffers from?
A. When jujubes become the most prominent dental appliance.
12-10-2008, 02:34 PM
When are you gonna be absolutely happy, huh?? Ok then! :laugh:
A: Whether the weather is wetter
12-10-2008, 02:40 PM
Q. What is a sentence that would make you head hurt?
A. Misappropriated funding finished the deal.
12-10-2008, 02:41 PM
Q: How would you describe the contract finalizing the bid for the leaning tower of Pisa?
A: Mandarin Oranges.
12-10-2008, 02:43 PM
Q. What are the most menacing of the oranges?
A. Apparently it was caused by an insane drilling accident.
12-10-2008, 02:45 PM
Q: How were the brains of ESFPs first developed?
A: Pickled bricks.
12-10-2008, 02:46 PM
Q. What will be shat when you find out what pickles are really made of?
A. The Nicene creed.
12-10-2008, 02:50 PM
Q: What have the NFs tried repeatedly to impose on scathing NTs?
12-10-2008, 02:52 PM
Q. What has baffled idiots for centuries?
A. Because he let her down.
12-10-2008, 03:09 PM
Q: Why did she fall off the horse?
12-10-2008, 04:35 PM
Q: What do all the girls say when the Prax twins walk in the room.
A: The supreme being.
12-10-2008, 04:39 PM
Q: How does rywatt prefer to be addressed? ;)
12-10-2008, 08:30 PM
Q: What is the goat?
A: The answer.
12-10-2008, 08:35 PM
Q: What is the question?
A: Misery loves company.
12-10-2008, 08:37 PM
Q: If love is the answer, what was the question?
A: Where are the car keys.
12-10-2008, 09:20 PM
Q: What did mayumi ask herself when she got out of the OR after performing open heart surgery?
A: Blue, like jazz.
12-10-2008, 09:27 PM
How are you feeling?
A: Rule of thumb.
12-10-2008, 09:28 PM
Q: By what is a man measured in the adult industry?
12-10-2008, 09:59 PM
Q: If I like JP and JP likes me, will we fall in love?
12-10-2008, 10:48 PM
Q: Which food is the spawn of Satan on Earth?
12-11-2008, 06:19 AM
Q. Who will be the destroyer of modern civilization?
A. Multinational secrets.
12-11-2008, 08:22 PM
What's the deodorant brand name that were made especially for UN officials.
A: Stressed and dessertS.
12-12-2008, 05:36 AM
Q: How do you feel, surrounded by E's at a dinner party that your SO insists that you attend, and what do you eat in order to achieve a sufficient sugar-high?
A: You have to pee.
12-12-2008, 06:36 AM
Q. What does it mean when people tell you that your eyes appear to be a tinge jaundiced?
A. Political reformation.
12-12-2008, 09:47 AM
What do you call the modern religion for ego-centric public servants?
A: Apples and oranges.
12-12-2008, 10:22 AM
Q. What do people always try and use to describe the difference in things when they are too dumb to think of a better analogy?
A. That's why the equation was eventually solved.
12-12-2008, 11:07 AM
Allie was involved, wasn't she? :cool:
A: Cat on a hot tin roof.
12-12-2008, 11:11 AM
A: What is the award winning Broadway musical that you take your gay brother to see while he is in town?
Q: An unhealthy obsession with drawing of genitals, Velveeta cheese and steamrooms.
12-12-2008, 11:43 AM
What does the latest music video from Britney Spears show?
A: Nails tofu to the wall.
12-12-2008, 12:18 PM
Q. Whenever Mom discoveres that the dishes are not clean and the bird not stuffed Mom angrily... (due to the syntax of the above answer this was the only way I could justifiably arrange this question without losing my mind over improper grammar)
A. Only when the dirt sweeps up the cleaner.
12-12-2008, 12:31 PM
Q. When is it absolutely, positively time to vacuum/sweep the floors?
A. I swear it was the dog.
12-12-2008, 01:13 PM
Q. What was the first words out of the cats mouth when on trial for murder?
A. Causing monkeys to destroy the space station.
12-12-2008, 02:31 PM
Why did you have to go and remove that Madonna poster?!
A: Toot your own horn.
12-12-2008, 02:32 PM
What to do when someone really "honks" you off?
12-12-2008, 02:39 PM
Q: What do you put in your cornflakes?
A: It fell fron the sky.
12-12-2008, 03:17 PM
Q. How did that huge chunk of frozen poo get here?
A. 42 days.
12-12-2008, 03:39 PM
Q: How long does it take an INTP, immersed in the theory of the light bulb, to actually change the lightbulb?
A: Priced to sell.
12-12-2008, 06:54 PM
Q. What is another description for an Illinois senate seat??
12-12-2008, 08:30 PM
I realize you have a stuffed nose from a cold...So, do you mean "what's goin' on"?
A: Two thumbs up!
12-12-2008, 09:19 PM
Q: What did Allie give the pool boy after he filled her pool with his chlorine?
12-13-2008, 06:55 AM
Q. What the dim doctor diagnoses as a nasty back strain?
A. Two bob.
12-13-2008, 07:30 AM
Q: How much does it cost for the florin-ated toothpaste?
A: A bushel and a peck.
12-13-2008, 03:15 PM
Q: What are you likely to get when trying to grab the bird in the bush?
A: Grandfather's clock and three mice.
12-13-2008, 03:52 PM
Q. What did my Black Lab. eat last night when I was asleep?
12-14-2008, 10:26 PM
Q: Where do you get your money for nothin' and your dicks for free?
12-15-2008, 06:25 AM
Q. What happens when a papaya sings opera?
A. Only after dark.
12-15-2008, 08:07 AM
Q. When does the moon punch his time card?
A. Reformation Sunday.
12-16-2008, 04:39 PM
Q: When will the Luther nail his feces to the door?
A: Twin soul.
12-16-2008, 04:58 PM
Q. What did Samuel L. Jackson absorb whilst in the womb?
A. He fell into a pit of quicksand.
12-16-2008, 07:50 PM
Q How can you explain Dick Cheney's sense of humor?
A. 14 unless the sun has set.
12-16-2008, 07:52 PM
Q: What is the age of consent in Disturbia?
A: Parental supervision.
12-16-2008, 08:01 PM
What is necessary to operate a glue gun?
ear of camel
12-16-2008, 08:12 PM
Friend, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ----------?
12-17-2008, 06:19 AM
Q - What is a fatback with meat?
A - Bling bling
12-17-2008, 08:30 AM
Q. What has been the major contributing factor of steady decline of the American economy?
A. Because his head exploded from the rage.
12-17-2008, 10:46 AM
Q: Why there are pieces of Brad Pitt splattered all over a papparazi?
A: Twice on Tuesday, unless there are children in the house.
12-17-2008, 10:51 AM
Q: How often do you light a fire on the floor of your house and run around it naked and pretend your in the movie Dances With Wolves?
A: Half baked.
12-17-2008, 11:05 AM
Q: What is the answer to this question?
A: Fifteen inches or three meters.
12-17-2008, 12:25 PM
Q. What is the distance between your heart and your beliefs?
A. The plant died.
12-17-2008, 12:40 PM
Q. What is the reason Johnny isn't allowed to have a puppy?
A. Invented Post-It notes
12-17-2008, 12:50 PM
Q. How did that guys life get ruined?
A. When he said no.
12-17-2008, 12:58 PM
Q. Why did she shoot him?
A On the beach.
12-17-2008, 01:03 PM
Q. Where did they find the missile?
A. Because of the atmospheric converter.
12-17-2008, 01:07 PM
Q. What is the real reason for Global Warming
A. She parallel parked the wrong way on a one way street.
12-17-2008, 02:13 PM
Q. How did Britney Spears get pregnant?
A. an inch worm
12-17-2008, 03:39 PM
Q: What is the proper description for a computer virus designed to take down computers only in the United States?
A: A watched pot never boils.
12-17-2008, 04:39 PM
Q. What where the last words before Abraham Lincoln died?
A. Never. Eat. Soggy. Worms.
12-17-2008, 06:56 PM
What was the first rule Pappa Fish said to Baby Fish, when playing in the lakes, especially when there are some sort of strings attached to them?
A: Money talks
12-18-2008, 05:47 AM
Q: Complete the phrase, "Bullsh** walks, while...".
A: In a cup on the counter.
12-18-2008, 06:43 AM
Q: Where is my mind??
A: My big toe.
12-18-2008, 07:03 AM
Q. What was cut off in the horrible ice skating incident?
A. A roll of duct tape, paper clips, sunflower seeds, and super glue
12-18-2008, 08:38 AM
Q: What you need to bring to have a "good time" after calling that number written on the wall of the hotel bathroom stall.
A: 14 thumbtacks and a large mirror.
12-18-2008, 08:47 AM
Q: What should always be included in your emergency kit in case of being stranded on a deserted island?
A: A piece of self-adhesive velcro.
12-18-2008, 10:08 AM
Q. What did McGyver use to seal the tear in reality?
A. 21 by 47 meters.
12-18-2008, 12:53 PM
What is the size of Governor Blago's ego?
12-18-2008, 02:41 PM
Q.. What do the ladies call you?
A. twice a day
12-18-2008, 02:55 PM
What is the minimal number for checking the Game threads on INTJf?
A: A jiffy.
12-18-2008, 03:09 PM
Q: What is a peanut butter-coated toddler called?
A: A rocky beach.
12-18-2008, 03:09 PM
Q. Where will the answer to life be found?
A. Which lead him to serve 5 years in prison.
12-18-2008, 06:45 PM
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
A: Mother's grandmother's aunt.
12-18-2008, 07:05 PM
Q. Who was found to be guilty of the triple homicide involving the grenade launcher?
A. Because the door squeaked ominously when it shut.
12-19-2008, 07:27 AM
Q: Why am I going to the hardware store to buy a can of oil?
A: An elephant in the trunk.
12-19-2008, 07:33 AM
Q. What do you get when an elephant inhales sharply when walking behind each other in a straight line?
A. That's preposterous!
12-19-2008, 07:44 AM
Q; What is the response when the aforementioned elephant explanation is given at a zookeepers convention.
A; 5 inches and rising.
12-19-2008, 07:57 AM
Q. What is the predicted snowfall we're supposed to get tonight?
A. Baby clothes.
12-19-2008, 07:59 AM
Q: What's hanging in your closet?
A: Nerd Herd
12-19-2008, 08:30 AM
Q. What you will see the day after Christmas at Best Buy?
A. Because I said so.
12-19-2008, 09:16 AM
Why was Wapiti not allowed to show his face wearing his Santa hat? Yes M'aam...We dare not go against librarians ;D
A: Over the river and through the woods
12-19-2008, 09:31 AM
Q. How we got the heck away from grandma's house?
A. It was all in the memo...
12-19-2008, 01:03 PM
Q. Why are you having problems with my TPS reports?
A. Because he all of a sudden went batshit crazy!
12-19-2008, 01:52 PM
Q: Why did he sleep alone after the party?
A: 2 tacos with salsa.
12-19-2008, 02:02 PM
Q. What will Charles Manson's last meal be?
A. Supersonic booms and blinding explosions.
12-19-2008, 02:03 PM
Q: What is like in the bedroom of Wapiti every night?
A: Scotch tape and a tooth pick.
12-19-2008, 02:05 PM
Q. What I need to pick that pesky lock to the safe?
A. Elmo and Oscar the Grouch
12-19-2008, 02:14 PM
Q: Do you have a split personality and if so, how would you best describe the 2.
A: Valle del oro.
12-19-2008, 03:01 PM
Q: What does a good girl pretend she has that a guy cannot access without a 5 carat diamond, only to find out upon purchasing the cow that it is all dried up and closed for business, citing Caveat Emptor?
A: Fickle foes.
Q - What are some arbitrary woes?
A - Porridge
12-20-2008, 07:48 PM
Q: What did strangers offer children before the days of candy?
A: A crock.
12-21-2008, 11:24 AM
Q. What's this shit?
A. 16 degrees.
12-21-2008, 12:15 PM
Q. What replaced 6 degrees of separation?
A. Sleeping with the enemy
12-21-2008, 10:27 PM
What's the best way to calm the nerves before a battle?
12-22-2008, 02:47 PM
Q. What is a girls worst enemy?
A. Duh! That's why she kicked him in the junk!
12-22-2008, 09:40 PM
Did he tell her about Susan?
12-22-2008, 09:42 PM
Q. What came out of her nose when she sneezed?
A. Who insisted that I take a nap?
12-23-2008, 07:24 AM
Q: What was the question asked by the 6-year old that you are currently babysitting?
A: An icicle and a catcher's mitt.
12-23-2008, 07:52 AM
Q. What items do you need to have a good time in San Francisco after 2 am?
A. A full cavity search.
12-23-2008, 08:19 AM
Q: What happens the next morning after you've had a good time In San Francisco at 2AM in the morning?
A: A chocolate turtle.
12-23-2008, 08:22 AM
Q: What happens the next morning after you've had a good time In San Francisco at 2AM in the morning?
A: A chocolate turtle.
Q. Name the snack with the most disturbingly euphamistic name.
A. Elevator music.
12-23-2008, 08:24 AM
Q: What is the highest form of music known to mankind? (oops! wrong thread!)
A: He slipped and fell, but no one laughed.
12-23-2008, 11:03 AM
Q. How did Jerry Lewis finally realize he had no career?
A. Ever since she began bleeding from the eyes.
12-23-2008, 11:07 AM
Q. How long has your sister been screaming at the walls?
A. It was about six feet long, covered in scales and spoke fluent Russian.
12-23-2008, 12:51 PM
If A = 3 and B = 4, what does C = on a right triangle.
12-23-2008, 05:11 PM
Q: Name an obscure prophet made famous by a sci-fi film.
A: And then he pee'd himself.
12-23-2008, 05:17 PM
Q: Jimmy was confused when his instructor told him that the first step to learning to swim was to learn to get wet.
A: So if you can't find me, look to the Western sky, as someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly! And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free! To those to ground me, take a message back from me: Tell them how I'm defying gravity! I'm flying high defying gravity...and soon, I'll match them in renown!
12-23-2008, 05:20 PM
Q: What did Harry Chapin tell the Taxi driver?
12-23-2008, 05:21 PM
Q: What does it take to satisfy you?
A: Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. (I'm pregnant...inside joke) I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap...
12-23-2008, 05:24 PM
Q: What were Jimmy Joe's famous last words as he set out to prove that he could fly by simply flapping his arms?
A: Medicine balls.
12-23-2008, 05:26 PM
Q: How big are your balls?
A: Can't I make you understand, you're having delusions of grandeur, I'm through accepting limits, cause someone says they're so, some things I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know, Too long I've been afraid of losing love like time lost, well if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost!
12-23-2008, 05:28 PM
Q: How did Tom rationalize his one night stand as he sat twirling his wedding ring, lost in guilty thought?
12-23-2008, 05:32 PM
Q: For what was the Greek goddess Brita responsible?
A: Nothing's fine, I'm torn, I'm all outta faith, this is how I feel, I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor, illusion never changed into something real, I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn.
12-23-2008, 05:36 PM
Q: How would you describe your last acid trip?
A: Burn baby burn.
12-23-2008, 05:37 PM
Q: How does Nikita feel when she urinates?
A: Open mouth insert foot.
12-23-2008, 05:39 PM
Q: What is rahdam's natural inclination?
12-23-2008, 05:41 PM
Q: For what song is Marilyn Manson famous?
A: It was domination, punctuated by brutal submission.
12-23-2008, 05:42 PM
Q: How did Nikita pwn rahdam's ass?
A: Picture perfect.
12-23-2008, 05:45 PM
Q: What's wrong with this picture?
A: Icarus left his guide, and drawn by a desire to reach the heavens, took his course too high. the burning heat of the nearby sun softened the scented wax, that fastened the wings...and the wax melted. Icarus moved his arms, now uncovered, and without the wings to drive him on, vainly beat the air. The sea recieved Icarus, and from him, took its name.
12-23-2008, 05:46 PM
Q: How is pride served by the fall?
12-23-2008, 05:48 PM
Q: What is a silent heart calling?
A: Ready, steady, go!
12-23-2008, 05:49 PM
Q: What did the jockey tell the horse after bending down in front of it?
A: Wash your mouth out with soap.
12-23-2008, 05:52 PM
Q: what did Nikita's mom tell her every day, 3 times a day?
A: Tonight I'm seeing stars.
12-23-2008, 05:53 PM
Q: What was the effect of the uppercut and knee to the groin Nikita gave rahdam?
A: Swish and flick.
12-23-2008, 05:56 PM
Q: How does Nikita drink her milk...if you know what I mean?
A: I can't stop falling when my heart comes calling, do you feel me? Warming you like rays of sunshine. Can't stop falling when my heart comes calling, do you feel me? Warming you like rays of golden light.
12-23-2008, 05:56 PM
Q: What did rahdam sing as he sprayed urine all over his girlfriend?
A: Free the beast!
12-23-2008, 06:00 PM
Q: What does Nikita say to every guy she walks by?
A: Hell no we won't go!
12-23-2008, 06:09 PM
Q: What does rahdam chant while Bubba has him bent over threatening to kill him if he defecates?
12-23-2008, 06:11 PM
Q: What was Nikita trying to spread when she let fly all over the room?
A: Booty call.
12-23-2008, 06:12 PM
Q: What will rahdam NOT be getting tonight?
A: Sharper Image.
12-23-2008, 06:17 PM
Q: What will Rahdam get for Christmas?
A: A lump of coal.
12-23-2008, 06:20 PM
Q: What will rahdam get for Christmas?
A: A pierced tongue.
12-23-2008, 06:24 PM
Q: What does Nikita use to lick the ground on which I walk?
A: Forward mounted rocket launchers.
12-23-2008, 06:34 PM
Q: How does Nikita respond to cheese like that?
A: Kid gloves.
12-23-2008, 06:37 PM
Q: What does Rahdam have to put on before he handles Nikita.
A: Bare knuckle.
12-23-2008, 06:41 PM
Q: How does Nikita handle rahdam's advances?
A: Velvet fist.
12-23-2008, 06:42 PM
Q: What do Nikita's shots feel like.
A: Nikita is frail.
12-23-2008, 06:46 PM
Q: What is one thing Nikita is not?
12-23-2008, 06:47 PM
Q: What separates the superior Rahdam and the inferior Nikita?
12-23-2008, 06:49 PM
Q: What is being kicked off by our conversations?
A: Intelligent Design.
12-23-2008, 06:50 PM
Q: What is a masquerade party?
A: High school prom.
12-23-2008, 06:55 PM
Q: Where do virgins become mothers?
A: The price is right.
12-23-2008, 06:56 PM
Q: What's wrong with Drew Carey?
12-23-2008, 06:57 PM
Q: Of what is Monte God?
12-23-2008, 06:59 PM
Q: What are black holes?
A: That is disgusting!
12-23-2008, 07:01 PM
Q: What did rahdam say when offered a plate of fruit to eat?
12-23-2008, 07:04 PM
Q: What is something that makes no connection in Rahdam's mind.
12-23-2008, 07:05 PM
Q: What is something many strive for, but few obtain?
A: Twist and shout.
12-23-2008, 07:07 PM
Q: What does Nikita's mom do when Rahdam comes by?
A: Nikita's mom
12-23-2008, 07:10 PM
Q: Who looked at me raking the leaves and told me I should be inside cleaning instead?
12-23-2008, 07:18 PM
Q: Who lived with Seven Dwarfs?
A: Ariel Sharon
12-23-2008, 07:21 PM
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
About 30 minutes north of Trier Germany.
12-23-2008, 07:30 PM
Q: Where is The Bulge in my pants?
12-23-2008, 07:32 PM
Q: What it rahdam's bank password?
A: Jingle bells.
12-23-2008, 07:33 PM
Q: Batman smells?
A: Guano bay.
12-23-2008, 07:34 PM
Q: What did the bats rename the Bay of Pigs after they conquered Cuba?
A: Peace out.
12-23-2008, 07:37 PM
Q: What was Hilter's motto?
A: Let's slap!
12-23-2008, 07:38 PM
Q: What does rahdam play with the boys in his hood?
A: Pillow fight!
12-23-2008, 07:39 PM
Q: What did Rahdam do with The Girls Next Door?
12-23-2008, 07:40 PM
Q: How did rahdam pay for entrance to The Playboy Mansion?
A: May the force be with Jew.
12-23-2008, 07:42 PM
Q: What did George Bush say to Hank Paulson?
A: Dick, Bush, and Colin
12-23-2008, 07:44 PM
Q: Who is on Michelle Obama's hit list?
A: Stars and Stripes.
12-23-2008, 07:45 PM
Q: What is Nikita's favorite stripper bar?
A: Desert Eagle, 50-cal Action Express
12-23-2008, 07:47 PM
Q: What knocks rahdam flat on his ass?
12-23-2008, 07:48 PM
Q: What made the Ninja Turtles the way they are?
A: Leonardo, Donetello, Michaelangelo, Raphael
12-23-2008, 07:49 PM
Q: Who misses Splinter since I kidnapped the dirty rat?
A: Your father.
12-23-2008, 07:51 PM
Q: Who is Darth Vader?
A: So, you've constructed a new lightsaber.
12-23-2008, 07:52 PM
Q: What did rahdam say to the doctor tasked with repairing his junk after an unfortunate incident involving a fork and a tub of hot oil?
A: Laps R Us.
12-23-2008, 07:53 PM
Q: What is Nikita's place of employment?
A: Scene of the Massacre, Vibrant Display of a Thousand Cherry Blossoms.
12-23-2008, 07:54 PM
Q: How would you describe the slaughter of the thousand virgins?
A: A funny thing happened on the way to the forum...
12-23-2008, 07:57 PM
Q: What is a horrible way to start a story?
A: Tear off, Golden Animal-Killing Monster
12-23-2008, 07:58 PM
Q: What is the description on rahdam's trading card?
A: One size fits all.
12-23-2008, 07:59 PM
Q: Is it the size of the boat or the motion in the ocean?
A: It's very elastic.
12-23-2008, 08:01 PM
Q: What is the consistency of rahdam's mind?
A: Edge of nowhere.
12-23-2008, 08:03 PM
Q: What is the name of the sword in the Legend of Zelda?
A: Jabba the Hutt is her nickname.
12-23-2008, 08:04 PM
Pizza the Hutt's sister
12-23-2008, 08:04 PM
Q: What does MacGuffin call Big Bertha in the love shack?
A: Freedom from all restraints.
12-23-2008, 08:13 PM
Q: What caused the astronaut to drift aimlessly the rest of his life?
A: (favorite quote) The reason why I have killed you was simply because you pointed your blade at my pride.
12-23-2008, 08:14 PM
Q: What did the murderous hooker say to the John?
12-23-2008, 08:16 PM
Q: Name a shitty movie about vampires.
12-23-2008, 08:17 PM
Q: Answer your own question.
A: Titanium rubbers.
12-23-2008, 08:18 PM
Q: What is the final frontier of material science?
A: A Trojan man.
12-23-2008, 08:19 PM
Q: Who likes to take in big horses?
A: The biggest waste of money.
12-23-2008, 08:21 PM
Q: What is the Horde in the Warcraft Universe?
A: Father Time and Mother Earth.
12-23-2008, 08:22 PM
Q: What is the most perfect illustration of man's attempt to control woman?
A: Gender equality?
12-23-2008, 08:27 PM
Q: What is the craziest idea you ever heard?
A: Men are better than women.
12-23-2008, 08:28 PM
Q: What is the biggest lie postulated by man?
12-23-2008, 08:30 PM
Q: Of what organization is Nikita the founder?
12-23-2008, 08:31 PM
Q: What did Bambi change its name to after it escaped the burning forest so it could make a living?
A: God, I miss the screaming.
12-23-2008, 08:32 PM
Q: What comes to mind when Nikita reminesces about her pygmy boyfriend?
12-23-2008, 08:33 PM
Q: What is the only way rahdam has ever experienced an orgasm?
12-23-2008, 08:37 PM
What cannot be found on a bicycle?
12-24-2008, 09:45 AM
Q: Which type of tea contains the most caffeine?
A. Tabasco Jones and the Peppers.
12-24-2008, 10:15 AM
Q. What was the name of the first Mexican salsa band?
A. 42 years and 9 days.
12-24-2008, 12:23 PM
Q. What did Desi Arnaz use to get rid of Lucille Ball?
A. Visine, its gets the red out.
12-25-2008, 02:29 PM
Q. What was the original plan of Charles Manson to erase the evidence?
A. After he shouted "I'll have your head"!
12-26-2008, 06:49 AM
Q. What is the average carrying capacity of a swallow?
A. American or European?
12-26-2008, 08:51 AM
Q. Is it only made harder when the original question is already asked?
A. Because of the ticks and leaches.
12-26-2008, 12:24 PM
Q: Why should you never, ever swim in the Detroit River?
A: And then his head blew off.
12-26-2008, 01:45 PM
Q. What happened 10 years into his life between sexual interludes?
A. Thats why he missed the ferry.
12-26-2008, 02:21 PM
Q. Does this sound like a cry for help to you?
A. Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line and your call will be answered in the order in which it was received.
12-26-2008, 02:22 PM
Q. What were the last words spoken before the gunshot?
A. How can you know that I needed you?
12-26-2008, 02:28 PM
Q. How do I know if God wants me to stop?
A. If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try your number again.
12-26-2008, 07:39 PM
Q:What does my friend keep telling me while I'm still in the room?
A: there are ants in my pants
12-26-2008, 07:41 PM
Q. What was said right before the invention of the newest dance craze?
A. That, my friend is inconsievable!
12-26-2008, 09:43 PM
Q. What is the likelihood that Inigo Montoya actually became the Dread Pirate Roberts?
A. Red and green toothpicks.
12-26-2008, 09:50 PM
Q. What does the Jolly Green Giant use to pick the human carcases from his teeth during Christmas time?
A. A suicide club.
12-26-2008, 09:58 PM
Q. What would I join if Christmas was celebrated year round?
12-26-2008, 10:00 PM
Q. What melts into skin really well if you stand too close to a fire?
(saw this at work (I work at a hospital) once..not pretty)
A. Halloween was officially canceled thereafter.
12-26-2008, 10:04 PM
Q. What the nuns did after little Johnny came to school dressed as Satan and threatened to eat the other children's souls?
A. Homer Simpson-like attitude.
12-26-2008, 10:05 PM
Q. What do you get after being poked in the soft spot as a baby?
A. And then he jumped in front of the train!
12-26-2008, 10:09 PM
Q. What happened when someone asked the INTJ for a hug?
A. Cucumber slices
12-26-2008, 10:10 PM
Q. What was the last thing that Rewhu saw before his eyes melted?
A. Nobody really knew him but they said he was a nice quiet neighbor.
12-26-2008, 10:12 PM
Q. What was said about Zzyber after the killing spree had ended?
A. A jar full of toenail clippings.
12-26-2008, 10:12 PM
Q. What did they find at Rewhu's house after he framed Zzyber for the murders?
A. A hundred billion million.
12-26-2008, 10:15 PM
Q. How much would I pay to see the look on Zzyber's face when he finds out that I really am stalking him?
12-26-2008, 10:16 PM
Q. What could you live without as long as you don't break your big toe?
A. But he already knew that.
12-27-2008, 05:25 PM
Q. If a disk spins at one revolution a minute. How big would it be for the outer edge to break the sound barrier?
A. A pair of cute fluffy bunny slippers that squeak when you walk.
12-27-2008, 05:40 PM
Q. What did Satan buy the Pope for Christmas?
A. Because he followed the golden arches.
12-27-2008, 06:46 PM
Q. What is with this sudden craving for Taco Bell?
A. The threat that Dihydrogen Monoxide poses is very real.
12-27-2008, 08:25 PM
Why are people afraid of the new, but extremely influentail new music sensation Dihydrogen Monoxide?
12-27-2008, 09:17 PM
Q. What was the year that Al Gore finally became popular?
A. After that he lived through her vicariously.
12-28-2008, 05:45 PM
Q. how much melamine in food is safe?
A. Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
12-28-2008, 10:30 PM
Q. What was the last thing President Bush said before the press?
A. How many stairs do you have to take before you can qualify as a "stair master"?
12-29-2008, 12:03 PM
Q: What were the last words of Tiffy "Legs" Obradovich before she collapsed on the StairStomper 9000 at the Buns-O-Rama in Poughkeepsie, NY.
A: No one heard it, but it sure stank up the place.
12-29-2008, 12:34 PM
Did you hear what I hear?
A: Lost and found
12-30-2008, 06:45 AM
Q. Where did they finally find that elephant at?
A. Some kind of music tour.
12-30-2008, 10:41 PM
Where exactly did you say you got tomatoes thrown at you?
A: Your familiar avatar is back!!
12-31-2008, 08:35 AM
Q. What do you see when you look next to my post?
A. We met on the airplane.
12-31-2008, 04:33 PM
Q. Where you met the spy that asked you to keep a close eye on rewhu?
A. After the tennis match.
12-31-2008, 04:35 PM
Q. Where did he find out that he was broke?
A. The cops couldn't help.
01-01-2009, 08:26 PM
Q. what did the mime say when his pants caught fire?
01-01-2009, 09:21 PM
Q: How would you describe Clyde's brain?
01-02-2009, 07:23 AM
Q: What was George Bush's previous occupation?
A: In a ditch on the side of the road.
01-02-2009, 12:36 PM
Q. Where will they find Rwyatt's tire if he ever lands?
A. An encrypted phone.
01-02-2009, 01:01 PM
Q. What do you call a tomb robbers lost mobile?
A. Three blind cats.
01-03-2009, 07:03 PM
Q: What caught the mouse?
A: tootsie roll
01-03-2009, 07:09 PM
Q. In desperation what did he use as a final out?
A. Around 46 inches.
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