What are INTJs like as teenagers and children?

[jtskinner]

I scored as an INTJ for the pass few months and I can't find a reliable resource that describes what INTJs are like as teenagers or children, so just what are they like? Do they fit the nerd/bookworm stereotype like I do? Do any INTJs have Asperger's Syndrome(I scored 42 AQ)?

[Evalind]

I don't have a specific answer for you, but I will share one childhood experience that exemplifies my I and J parts quite well.

On my 9th birthday, I went to the video rental store with my dad and brothers to pick out a movie. It took forever because my dad had to sign up for a new membership at the rental place. While we waited, my brothers and I made plans to play T-ball when we got home, before watching the movie, because it'd still be daylight outside. When we got home I, instead, found my house was full of my future 4th grade classmates. I started bawling because a) my plans had been interrupted and b) I now had to spend time with 10 people I didn't know very well. (I'd only lived in the town for a year at that point.) The way my parents finally got me to calm down was by organizing the girls into T-ball teams. :P

[Zeinland]

Well, Im still a teenager. Im still 14. I like to be ALONE, for a great amount of time. I only have few friend's that I talk with ( Tecnology, Military, Racism, Strategy) that's what we only talk about. Sometimes youl find us, sitting in the benches, reading.... and reading, and reading, and reading some more. I don't talk much, to get me laughing is quite a feat. To get me talking is a miracle.... I only lead, in group's of 3, And when nobody want's to lead. And, when I was taking my social studies class, my teacher told me, what's my opinion on Christianity. I just said " Do you really want to know?". And being the teacher she was, she said "Yes". I told her "To say the truth, we'd be better of without it, There's no scientific proof that Yahve actually exist's, And it was the cause of many war's, so I don't care at all about Christianity, it's just the oil to the fire". You can imagine what my classmates, thought about that...

[thegnat]

Hm. I only had two actual birthday parties with more than one friend.

The others I either a) Didn't have a party or b) played badminton in the backyard with the parental units and my neighbor who was a good friend until she moved.

I never had more than 5 friends at one time.

I was called Curious Cat when I was younger. (as in I wanted to know everything)

I would say I was slightly more social when I was younger yet still a bookworm and very very shy.

edit: I never played with Barbies. I left my two Barbies neglected in my closet. Same with my one doll. I had model horses to play with....silently....unless I neighed....I might make stories in my head though...

[Firelie]

As a child, I spent most of my time playing alone.

In preschool, the teacher convinced my mother that I was going to turn out to be a sociopath or something because I'd play what the other children were playing, but I wouldn't play with them (I was the first child and I was a little odd, so my mom believed her lol)

I liked to play with my Barbie dolls and create long stories to act out with them. I didn't like Barbie, though, just her dark-haired friends. I only had one or two friends at a time, but they never participated in my stories.

As a teenager I had a fairly large group of friends (for me...which is about 6 or 7) and we were held together by being the outcasts. Somehow I was the leader of this group by virtue of being the bravest one of them and the most independent. All of us thoroughly enjoyed being weird and made no attempts to fit in to the rest of the school. Most of my high school days were spent with my nose buried in books...I read a lot of mystery, then I got into fantasy...I went to the library at school so much that the librarians knew my name and would strike up conversations with me.

I don't know about the experiences of other people, though. I doubt my experience growing up is all that close to anyone else's.

[Natrushka]

I read this about children / teens and MBTI a while back, you might find it interesting.

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[generalowk]

I have great parents. When I was young, they generally nutured and humored my INTJ qualities. Looking back, they've often joked that it wasn't really a punishment to send me to my room, since I loved being there alone and doing things in there (reading, listening to music, etc.). I've always been very self-entertaining.

[vulcan]

I was pretty evil and tormented my brothers and parents.

I was alone all the time and loved it.

I tried to reconcile a need for autonomy with the fact that I was a kid with parents as masters.

[thegnat]

I read this about children / teens and MBTI a while back, you might find it interesting.

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Holy Sh*t! The INJ traits list completely described me as a kid! Perfectly. On the dot.
1. They have vivid imaginations yep
2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?" yep
3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groupsyep
4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike qualityyep
5. They enjoy art and musicyep, did crafts, made things, drew horses, band
6. They love books, and especially enjoy fictiontotally me
7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situationyep
8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings100%
9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned eventsoh definitely
10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sportstennis, definitely
11. They are perfectionistsoh for sure, probably excessively
12. They're serious and intenseyep
13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friendsyep to both, was told I acted/seemed older a lot
14. They are original and independent, and value their uniquenessyep
15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them yes to both, I was never too concerned cause classes were easy

[StJimmy]

ditto

[jtskinner]

Thanks for the resources.

[Firebert]

If I had to fill any role as a teenager, I was the sarcastic asshole friend. If you took me seriously, you hated me. If you spent the time to get to know me, it was generally worth it to both parties.

[Circe]

I was a socially awkward, manipulative little introvert. I only ever wanted to talk about what I was learning or what I could learn, or abstract thoughts I had. I daydreamed a lot and constantly read.

I never played with dolls, only toy animals, and then I would make up some epic story in my head and follow it through. I never had friends over, which my parents thought was weird. In fact, when my parents found out that I never played at recess, only read, they sent a note to my teacher telling her that I wasn't allowed to read at recess- something about "retarding my social development." I read anyway.

As a teen, I've opened up a little- I'm still strongly introverted, but I can function decently in social situations. I get disoriented in large groups, but in small groups I have a very forceful personality. I'm still too blunt, though. I say things I probably shouldn't and take a long time to realize that I offended people. If you get to know me, though, I'm helpful and nice, but sarcastic and not very empathetic.

I often feel like an outcast, though. I have a facade I put on around some other people, so I'm very often misunderstood. The only person who I can truly talk to is my dad, who is an INTJ too- so not always that helpful.

[jtskinner]

I'm a teenager now, and I must say I agree with everyone here. I love philosophy, theoretical science, robotics/electrical engineering, mathematics and computer science. I work myself to the death in school, I'm always nervous about it. I'd rather be the most deformed mutation on earth if I could have an IQ of 200 and be left alone to do research to benefit society(oddly enough). I hate being called stupid, when people say I'm stupid I become self-destructive. Nobody wins arguments with me, I hate authority and rules and would rather we have a society of no government or leaders, we obviously need laws though as long as they're not dumb laws. Plus, I'm the only atheist in a small rural Christian town. I don't know how far I'll go with being a scientist, my IQ is a mere 116. As a child I was talkative, lived in my own world, always reading or examining insects, I always wanted to be a scientist. It wasn't until I was older that I became introverted, mainly because of many depressing incidents and then I saw socializing as useless, I wanted to be a pro-wrestler for awhile and then a game designer. I used to read a book a day back then.

[Naokohiro]

It wasn't until I was older that I became introverted, mainly because of many depressing incidents and then I saw socializing as uselessSame here. Am I the only one whose personality is constantly changing? (I'm 17)

[Vayate]

The above link describes me as a child fairly well. I would like to note that I was a latchkey kid morning and evenings, so for five days per week between 7AM and 5PM I was surrounded by screeching kids, being lectured to or both. That resulted in massive stress migraines daily, which persisted until I was 16 and driving. Combine that with never having access to anyone who would ever attempt to make adjustments for my temperament and I was one unhappy kid. :thumbsdown:

[childofforest]

Personally it is very hard to decide myself as an INTJ because of my childhoold memories. I was not extroverted or anything but I had more imaginations and more enthusiastic minded than I am right now. I am very sure that I had high intuitions - I loved reading fantasy literature and poetry, and even enjoyed writing some of my own. I was even into classical music when I was in elementry school - for I loved having my radio on for days.

When I was a teen I did not feel comfortable 'hanging out' with others as the other kids did in middle school. I was very alone at school and decided to concentrate on my studies in order to relieve the isolation I felt in class. Anyway it kinda worked for me and in high school I was still like that, the only difference was that I had more *sincere* friends than back then. I liked having few friends, did not hang out with bunch but only 1-2 friends, and did not socialize fully with all classmates.

[ShaiGar]

INTP, so not your desired polling audience. But this is what I was like as a child and teenager.

As a child I preferred to be alone, and I got a reputation as a Manipulator, Recluse and as a Violent Child.
The recluse I deserved because I spent my afterschool hours in the towns public library alone, or wandering around the golf course alone, or in my bedroom reading alone. I used to do a lot of things alone because in primary school I never had any friends. I did of course have people who hung around during class because I could make them laugh, or they wanted to pick on me, but maybe because they never understood me or I them I only saw them as tools to be used and from there I got the reputation of a manipulator.

I did NOT deserve the reputation of a violent child though, I got that because I never understood roughhousing, still dont really. When I see a fight I think only of the bodies weakspots and where to put the most pressure for the best result (winning no matter the cost), but most of the time I didnt enter fights because I was either scared of punishment or myself, or I thought that the kids were just "roughhousing" and I never saw the bullying for what it was. I got the violent reputation from that because occasionally I'd try and join in a game of "mugby" by knocking a guy down and punching (what they were doing, but feigning), or from being cheated in a game where the other person would get away with something so I'd punch and run off to a library.

Early on, and the few times I have had friends close enough to actually open up to i'd be the highly creative inventor of worlds or of games and of cubby houses. My creativity was pretty damn good and with.. shit this is depressing... with my under 10 friends in my life we'd trapeze off into the bush or a treehouse to create worlds or games.

Oh, and apparently I went on a car trip with my grandfather in Cloncurry once from a town to another town and I was constantly asking questions like why this, how that, what that, and he was answering every one of these patiently with both the why what how, but also with how i could find out more. extremely curious

As a teenager I think I only had four friends; Daniel Moore, Jared Dobbie, Alex from St Francis College, and Shaun Case. I was even more of a shut in then, but I was starting to see the bullying early and would preemptively strike at the cunts fast and vicious in the throat or eyes, and that'd be it for the year. Reputation as Violent, but left alone to read in peace without interference. I was still creative but I since i moved all the time I only ever had one friend at any one place so the chances to create alongside someone was diminished. Again i was Reclusive and Creative, but this time I at least had the chance to talk with bishops or intelligent priests(one of whom is now Bishop of North Queensland) about my ideas or poetry or art. I did overreact a lot as a teenager too.

Sometimes I'd like to go back and punch some sense into me. Thank fuck I've matured. They are not particularly good memories.

INTP Childhood:
Reclusive
Over reactive to childhood stresses
Misunderstanding of Society
Creative
Constant Bibliophile.

INTP Adolescence:
Reclusive (with attempts at social gatherings)
Internally over reactive of stresses
Misunderstanding of society through to disappointed understanding of society
Creative
Constant Bibliophile.

[OneBadMother]

Ouch, that sounds so much like my experience to the letter it's eerie. I've definitely matured since then. They claimed I was ADD in middle school (Angry Depression Disorder?) because I wrote a list of names of people I disliked. When I was 13 I even sat under a table in class because my teacher was condescending and obviously refused to listen to my ideas. Strangely enough, I think online forums helped me to let go and mature a bit, as well as my disastrous two and a half year relationship.

[Tsuru]

As a kid, for as far back as I can remember, I always preferred spending my time by myself as opposed to with other kids. They all seemed like uncouth, threatening barbarians. :P I spent almost all my time doing video games, PC stuff (back when DOS was all the rage, yessss! :3), reading, ect.

I ****HATED**** school with a burning rancor. I felt like I'd been tossed into some bizarre foreign land filled with neanderthals and incompetent and arbitrary adults as its rulers. XD

Teenage years were pretty much in the same avenue, except I added lots of art stuff and started spending a lot of time thinking about, like, things, and all that deep stuff most of the time.

I've never really had any friends that lasted more than 2 weeks for the most part, I just didn't seem able to connect with people and always got bored. (Pretty much the same situation today, wheeee!)


That was my childhood summary i hope y'all enjoyed it *nods*

[StJimmy]

ShaiGar said: "Misunderstanding of society through to disappointed understanding of society"

yeah. the thing with me was it took a while for different things to sink in, and i went through an extremely bitter and angry phase. i'm still passionate about certain subjects but it's generally not worth dwelling on matters over which you have no control.

[ShaiGar]

I think online forums helped me to let go and mature a bit, as well as my disastrous two and a half year relationship.
Same here, 4 years on Planetarion Forums acting like a dickhead, 1 year on INTPC acting kinda normally and lashing out like a dickhead, about 4-5 months on INTPU normal, as well as one failed relationship that helped to mould me.

[rasoirviolon]

Although older... still a teenager just like Zeinland. I smiled a little when I saw your reading portion. When I first moved here I never interacted with anyone on the playground and well... all I did was read. And I still do that during lunch break. Usually I keep to myself unless I find something interesting about someone...therefore I open up a little to inquire about whatever tickles my curiousity. There was a period of time where I would sit on the bleachers by my school's baseball field but I ended up getting kicked out of my secret place because that area was supposedly out of bounds to students.

Hmm... just wondering, as children, did anyone's INTJ-ness earn them criticism from others? As for myself, I am constantly chided for my "socially-retarded" behaviour (no I don't have Asperger's) ...but people seem to be convinced there is something definately wrong with me. (i.e. my mum, teachers, sisters' friends etc)

[deicruxified]

I read this about children / teens and MBTI a while back, you might find it interesting.

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Holy Sh*t! The INJ traits list completely described me as a kid! Perfectly. *On the dot.
* 1. *They have vivid imaginations yep
* 2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?" yep
* 3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groupsyep
* 4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike qualityyep
* 5. They enjoy art and musicyep, did crafts, made things, drew horses, band
* 6. They love books, and especially enjoy fictiontotally me
* 7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situationyep
* 8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings100%
* 9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned eventsoh definitely
*10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sportstennis, definitely
*11. They are perfectionistsoh for sure, probably excessively
*12. They're serious and intenseyep
*13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friendsyep to both, was told I acted/seemed older a lot
*14. They are original and independent, and value their uniquenessyep
*15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them yes to both, I was never too concerned cause classes were easy

ditto... i had a motto way back: i don't care if i failed a subject as long as i learned something from a good teacher than get high marks from a gullible, incompetent teacher.

perfectionist... yes as a kid i am! i love the trash can and 90% of my sketches always land there. when i was studying guitar, i stayed til 3am just to get stuff perfect... when i buy stuff at the mall, i scout for 5 malls (the mall i used to go to are next or adjacent to each other) for the cheapest price. my mom's always pissed off everytime i buy something but i always say, "walking is good for you."

my sports -- swimming, tae kwon do, aikido, racing, cycling... i hate team sports

[Natrushka]

I read this about children / teens and MBTI a while back, you might find it interesting.

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Holy Sh*t! The INJ traits list completely described me as a kid! Perfectly. On the dot.
1. They have vivid imaginations yep
2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?" yep
3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groupsyep
4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike qualityyep
5. They enjoy art and musicyep, did crafts, made things, drew horses, band
6. They love books, and especially enjoy fictiontotally me
7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situationyep
8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings100%
9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned eventsoh definitely
10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sportstennis, definitely
11. They are perfectionistsoh for sure, probably excessively
12. They're serious and intenseyep
13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friendsyep to both, was told I acted/seemed older a lot
14. They are original and independent, and value their uniquenessyep
15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them yes to both, I was never too concerned cause classes were easy

ditto...

Yeah, I would have liked to have read this when I was a teen. It would have helped a lot.

[cielo market]

Question: Even though we all know that INTJs were perfect angels... :shhh:
What were you guys usually scolded for as a child?

I had a habit of disecting my toys, and trying to make my own. I can remember my mother saying this phrase at least twice a week: "Ayy niña, tu y tus inventos!". Translated, it means "Ohh little girl, you and your inventions!"

::)

[thegnat]

Things I've been yelled at/given shit for my whole life, I was never just "scolded":
not being social/being shy
handwriting (guyish)
losing tennis matches/playing like shit
not caring about fashion
not liking to shop
not wearing my contacts enough
not wearing make up (once i got it)
not having a boyfriend

[cielo market]

not being social/being shy

I've had to deal with this as well. I recall during middle school, I once asked my mom if I could go to the movies with some classmates. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree as she enthusiastically said "Yes! Yes, please!"

:thinking:

[Iannus Quirinus]

Question: Even though we all know that INTJs were perfect angels... :shhh:
What were you guys usually scolded for as a child?

I had a habit of disecting my toys, and trying to make my own. I can remember my mother saying this phrase at least twice a week: "Ayy niña, tu y tus inventos!". Translated, it means "Ohh little girl, you and your inventions!"

::)

that's why I loved my lego blocks. :D

if I could have an IQ of 200 and be left alone to do research to benefit society(oddly enough).

shhh, don't tell anyone, but I still dream about that. :) that's why I'm in college for physics. the human society just seems sooooo unorganized to me, and they (we? xD) look like we could use a good intj's (=god's) touch and inventions to help us. ;)

don't worry about your iq. iq is a bad bad thing, it doesn't say much. (though you shouldn't completely discard it either) if you really wanna increase your abilites/intelect, just engage in a lot of different acitivites (go take lessons for a new language, sports, dancing, reading, socializing with people, etc.), stimulate your body and brain. that worked for me at least.



as a kid I was very shy, but generally very nice towards people - too nice to tell the truth (so I suffered a lot of times for that).
I had this idea that I *must* be on good terms with everyone (or be their friend), so I had enough friends.
all the kids would make fun of me and tease me to death (bullying), so I really hated that - it traumatised me and increased my introverted side. I did solve much of that bullying later.

I absolutely loved beeing alone and playing by myself, prefferably in my imaginative world. but I did socialize enough. I guess people did find me a bit weird, but that's mostly becouse of my shyness, rather than anything else. (well I did look like a zombie - very very pale and skinny - I like to think I'm above avereage looking now ;) )

I got a bit more open in high school, I had a burst of intelligence in the second year of high school together with increase of ability in all fields of my person, that was really plesant (I still think that I was way more intelligent and everything than I am now; that was probably becouse I had *a lot* of activites that tickeled my brain and body, and made an absolutely great use of my abilites) and later on when I got to college, I changed a lot (to the better), especially becouse I study physics, so there's plenty of people there that are much worse than me at all the "social" things and stuff. and I guess the new surrounding, having to take care of myself and college put my intj skills at work again, so it all "clicked" pretty well.

trough all my childhood, I had the great luck that all my physics/math/chemistry teachers were exceptional, and I really love them for that. they helped my develop and use my mind and helped me towards my dream of becoming a scientist, and I'm eternally grateful to them.


could write a lot more, but this seems a bit off topic, as it's ressembling more my life story than my childhood. but yeah, I'm borderline T/F and J/P, so I guess there could be some difference.

heh, a long post sry. ;)

[aude]

I am probably the one intj who went through hell due to his personality issue.

I was a highly gifted child that no one cared about. A child that know one knew why he hid him self from the world. A child who did not know the meaning of love, could never be able to show it. A child who was told that he did every thing wrong in school( My 3rd grade teacher ripped up all my work that i completed due to the fact i knew what i was doing. Finished all the home work in every book i got within the first 2 months of school) A kid who spiraled into heavy depression, knew of suicide since the age of 8. A teenage who had no one to turn to. A teenage that was thrown into a mental institution cause a doctor thought this teenage had schizophrenia. A teenage and a child who was thrown away to be disregarded. That was my past and all i can do is use what i can from it to push my self further. Man that brings back memories of all the damn freaking drugs that doctor gave me and what they did to me. What kind of doctor gives a teenager, drugs that are not recommended for people under 18 or even ones that are notreally out there for general use. O well last i heard that doctor has severe cancer and i couldnt be more elated

[Bossy Mom]

I was an odd child - and disappointed my parents. I was shy, read constantly, and had an addiction to history and constant learning. I read history books and made notes (and this was not for class - this was on my own). They thought I should be a "normal teenager" and look forward to the prom, etc. They also thought it was odd that I loved learning about the universe, atoms, and the microbial world. I was also always arguing politics with my father, who was a Democrat. I couldn't understand how he could vote for those people. He had taught us hard work, personal responsibility, etc., and he voted for socialists! I could never understand that type of thinking. I wasn't rebellious, just a rational thinker.

[LadyHuna]

I've posted a little bit about this before but I'd like to go into it some more. Since being a twin is so utterly defining in itself, one's own personality seems secondary to the "big picture" of the twin couplet. Growing up that was the truth, today its slowly washing away.
I was adament about having seperate friends from her. To her dismay, I guarded my group jealously and showed no pity towards her diminished circle in middle school. Ironically my need for approval in middle school (which ofcourse was at some level considering the age) was no where near her desperation to fit in and to not be seen with so little friends. But as it worked out, I was strategic about gaining friends, while she was emotional and invested in her friends (she therefore keeps up with many people from K-12 while I've dropped almost everyone).
Then to highschool, slowly I relented to incorporating her into my group. What has seemed so illogical all this time was my desperation for my own friends- but as I view it from an INTJ perspective, it was really the desire for my independence from her (and, I think, friends were the status symbol from her emphasis, not my own). And that is probably the root for all of my anger and frustration with her because I was especially frustrated to be aligned with an ENFP.
So my childhood cannot be seperated from my views of who I was in relation to who she was. I think our mutual friends viewed me as coldhearted and edgy and her as a true friend who understands and cares for people.
An interesting point was brought up earlier about grades vs. comprehension. I can definitely relate- I got mostly high scores for HS math exams but never did/turned in homework which always left me with low B's.

[dayguard]

As a child, I felt different from others. I needed very much to be emotionally validated by my parents. Didnt help that my brother, one year older than me always got the attention.

I would wish that I would enter to a entirely different world whereby people understood me(very much like this forum) every time I leave the cubicle of my school's toilet.

I did not know what to do during break times. I would pretend that my shoes were untied and occupy myself by tying up my shoe laces.

I was a joy to teachers. Quiet and obedient. Always top 3 in class, without really trying. I remember distinctly when I was 12, "So what's next for me? Go into secondary school, then university, then what?" The typical education route seems mundane as I was without a purpose.

Going into my teenage years, I deemed myself incompetent as a human being due to my obvious lack of social skills. Spent most of my teenage years trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Got into depression and dropped out of school.

Only recently learned that I will be weird to others no matter what. Writing/blogging is good therapy. Conveying what I really want to say is still hard but I am still learning. Social interaction is still an Achilles heel that I must overcome.

[thegnat]

I was an odd child - and disappointed my parents. I was shy, read constantly, and had an addiction to history and constant learning. I read history books and made notes (and this was not for class - this was on my own). They thought I should be a "normal teenager" and look forward to the prom, etc. They also thought it was odd that I loved learning about the universe, atoms, and the microbial world. I was also always arguing politics with my father, who was a Democrat. I couldn't understand how he could vote for those people. He had taught us hard work, personal responsibility, etc., and he voted for socialists! I could never understand that type of thinking. I wasn't rebellious, just a rational thinker.

Ah yes that reminds me - my parents always thought I should go to prom and all that be more "normal". This wasn't helped by my cousin being the *Classic* "normal" girly girl, boy crazy shopaholic, went to every school dance.

Gah! Democrats aren't socialists! But that's a different story and I hate getting into arguments over politics. Unfortunately I do care though.

The whole politics thing - I was just a rational thinker but went the opposite direction you did. The more I learned the more liberal I became. I started out conservative (honestly, when I look back on things I was conservative for a time) and the more I looked at both sides the more the liberal viewpoints fit my true values. It's really hard for me to see the "logic" of the other side on environmental issues.

[imoutofhere]

As a child I was more accepting of the people around me, and very incredibly INTJ. Early on, they thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't socialize or pay attention to the teacher, even though I still did my work without any problems. They tested me for ADD or something, but I showed their ignorant buts when they tested me and a handful of other kids for it.

In sixth grade, my teacher put me and the then best friend in a special program intended to draw introverts out. I guess that shows progress in that school towards understanding and accomodating introverts. From being mislabeled ADD, to getting it right but still thinking it can be cured... Of course, no later public school even tried in the slightest. Public jr. high and high school have zero care or tolerance for the individualization of students, if you stick out it annoys them. The teachers will mostly like you, but if you get a vice principal like the one's where I live, they won't care much for you and may even threaten to kick you out just for being different. I was a slacker out of depression, but there were even kids with high grades getting the same treatment, and I had test results that should have made the school look good even if my grades didn't.

As a teenager I became more F (that's the girl lifestyle afterall), which I largely attribute to my friends who started pushing me to hug them in the seventh grade leading to my being more emotional and caring. But, as loving as I became, I only got heartbroken quite a bit for it and continued to be odd and hard to understand, so I started working back towards detachment. I'm not saying I switched from INTJ to INFJ then back, but I was more openly affectionate and started to care for other people... More that the F was developed after they showed me that it was pleasant, and then that I'm now puting it aside because it has little use and because I learned the value of reserving my emotions for more deserving individuals. Hugs don't have the feeling to me now that they did as a teen, since it's still those old friends more likely to be hugged, and I only do it to be polite.

I may be the only INTJ in my family, but there's a lot of Thinkers in my family, so if I never had more extraverted friends, I never would have developed any Feeling.

[jtskinner]

Also, I have my whole future planned up. Do any other INTJ teenagers do that? Plus I get really angry, sometimes so angry I destroy whole friendships.

[imoutofhere]

Also, I have my whole future planned up. Do any other INTJ teenagers do that? Plus I get really angry, sometimes so angry I destroy whole friendships.


Some probably plan out their future, but I didn't and I'd imagine I'm not alone in taking my time to find my place.

And, on the anger part... Uh... Maybe you should go look up such things as Borderline Personality Disorder (which I have, so don't feel too bad), and... I can't remember... Mood swings like Borderline, but they last a lot longer... -.- Much more known than my own disorder making it weird not to remember... -.- *resorts to looking it up* Bipolar! Maybe your Borderline or Bipolar. I don't know of any other mood swing disorders, but there could be others, too.

[jtskinner]

How many INTJs are libertarian socialists aka anarchists? Down with government, let people rule themselves! I'll check that Borderline Personality Disorder out. I just checked it out and from what I read I probably have it, since I am prone to depression without reason, nervous breakdowns, I have a bad temper, etc.

[thegnat]

Also, I have my whole future planned up. Do any other INTJ teenagers do that? Plus I get really angry, sometimes so angry I destroy whole friendships.


Some probably plan out their future, but I didn't and I'd imagine I'm not alone in taking my time to find my place.

And, on the anger part... Uh... Maybe you should go look up such things as Borderline Personality Disorder (which I have, so don't feel too bad), and... I can't remember... Mood swings like Borderline, but they last a lot longer... -.- Much more known than my own disorder making it weird not to remember... -.- *resorts to looking it up* Bipolar! Maybe your Borderline or Bipolar. I don't know of any other mood swing disorders, but there could be others, too.

There's of course Manic and Depressive Personality Disorders. Manic and Depressive are like halves of Bipolar. So if you swing one way or the other, and don't really have any happy or sad swings respectively, then you might be depressive or manic.

I believe Bipolar disorder can be controlled with medication. I know friends of friends have taken meds for Biopolar disorder and I know these meds exist because one of my meds is also used for bipolar disorder. So I always joke it keeps me on an even keel.
Though it probably doesn't help that much at all...

I didn't plan my future at all. The only thing I knew is that I didn't want to be a doctor. I was actually thinking I'd go more molecular biology, bio, bio chem, pharmacology, orgo. But I found out that I dislike biology and hate orgo and disliked the biochem preview I got with orgo. And I found out I thoroughly enjoy the inorganic/physical side of chemistry.

[jtskinner]

Chemistry's cool. I'm top in my class in Biology.

[aelan]

I never played with dolls, only toy animals, and then I would make up some epic story in my head and follow it through. I never had friends over, which my parents thought was weird. In fact, when my parents found out that I never played at recess, only read, they sent a note to my teacher telling her that I wasn't allowed to read at recess- something about "retarding my social development." I read anyway.
In 5th grade I had this brilliant revelation when I realized that I was so into the books that I read, so connected to the characters, that they were like having friends, therefore I could just read on the playground instead of playing with the other kids- and still have a "social life". *[smiley=idea.gif] *Unfortunately, my teacher didn't see it that way, called a parent-teacher conference to discuss her concern at me not developing my social skilled, and banned me from bringing books on the playground. *(I didn't connnect these two events at the time, but shortly after I became obsessed with the idea that I was a loser because I wasn't "popular", and thought that without popularity I would never have any self-worth.)

Question: Even though we all know that INTJs were perfect angels... :shhh:
What were you guys usually scolded for as a child?
fighting with my younger sister (it was always my fault, even when it was self defense because my sister attacked me), the house being a mess, not practicing sports (I was a bench-warmer anyways, what was the point?), not getting straight A's (I wasn't exactly scolded, but it was made known that I wasn't living up to my 'full potential'), etc.

[Santana28]

I was an only child and i had a handful of "casual" friends who i never went anywhere with or did anything with... they simply came over from time to time (usually to take advantage of the lifestyle i had and they did not, in one way or another).

My dad told me once when i was 17, that he and my mother had thought i was gay because of my complete lack of interest in dating. Now of course, i was interested in the occasional boy... but logically i knew i was too young to be dating anyone so i didn't pursue it. That, and i was totally socially backwards anyways :)

My teenage years were spent for the most part in my bedroom watching historical programs or old WWII movies, or in the basement on my computer. We got the internet when i was 14 and that was pretty much where the next 4 years of my life were spent.

Now keep in mind i was completely depressed and lived in a very unhappy home.... i would stay up til 5am and sleep in til 6 pm during the summertime... just to avoid everyone. I was pretty much a complete hermit.

I HATED school with a fiery passion.... and despite my lack of effort, i still aced every test put in front of me so i never had bad grades. By Junior year i was dating someone who had been pursuing me for years... basically because he had a car and could give me a ride to school and back. I also had a crush on his best friend so i used him to get closer to him. That was basically the extent of our relationship... i was never attracted to him...

My parents encouraged me to do things with people but i never wanted to. They too had that "Oh my god!" moment when i actually chose to leave the house with a "friend." I never went to Prom, nor any social event. I dropped out of band because i didn't want to play at football games in marching band. I was in a few clubs... Electronics..Computer... Science... LOL. But we never really did anything and there was only a handful of people.

So basically, i gave my parents ZERO typical teenage problems... but a handful of other concerns. But i turned out just fine ;) I think.

[jtskinner]

As a child, I came up with the theory that there were many universes and they were all sandwiched on top of one another. I used to make epic adventures, sometimes I pretended my life was a book and most of my friends were imaginary I knew they weren't real but I liked to imagine having conversations with people like me in my head.

[Obstinate]

Also, I have my whole future planned up. Do any other INTJ teenagers do that? Plus I get really angry, sometimes so angry I destroy whole friendships.

Definitely. I spend hours thinking about my future, and I often wonder why I'm so anxious for it when college is at least 2 1/2 years away. I've got way too many casual friends, and I often try to get rid of the ones that make me feel really sad more than they realy should. I'd say I have about 8 really close friends, and I mostly spend my time playing things or guitar. I also have a bit of an obsessive quality in my nature, as once I really like something I become a bit obsessed with it, like listening to a song with a beautiful melody that's two minutes long for over an hour, the same song. Same goes for Scrubs, I watch that almost constantly. But I'm definitely not the INTJ scientist type, I'm not that much of an introvert I think.

[King K]

I'm 15 years old, I don't know if I'm a good example of a teenager INTJ.

I'm extremely introverted (I scored 100% introvert in the MBTI test, this does not surprise me), I hate to show my feelings, I barely smile, laugh or anything like that, even my face hurts when I smile, I'm serious.

I was often called a prodigy, I learned to read by myself with a "talking book" when I was 2 years old, learned the name and capitals of most countries in the world when I was 5, learned the nomenclature and composition of hydrocarbons (methane, ethane, etc...) when I was 6, but school ruined it for me.

I was constantly teased and called a nerd by everyone, this caused me to become a retard just to fit in society, I also got diagnosed with ADHD and OCD afterwards, but I got a bunch of friends this way.

So, I was a retard until middle school, that's when I decided to have my own way and ignore what everyone said, fortunately, the guys in my middle-school were mature enough to not to tease me, I actually had the best friends in my life.

It was just until 2007 when I really got into computers, I did everything just to learn more about computers.

I don't care too much about school grades, I only care about learning stuff, for me, school is just a "guide" and not my teacher, so I don't care too much about school, but it seems that I'm the kind of guy who doesn't put any effort to anything and gets perfect results, this has both its pros and cons.

My entire family is very talkative and extroverted, I can't stand the company of extroverts and those that are guided by feelings instead of reason, so I prefer to be alone in my room using the computer than to be with them, my traits and interests are much different than theirs, I'm all into computers, electronics and all that, while they simply prefer to be doing "fun" stuff.

For me, drawing, programming, designing stuff, 3D modeling, making websites, and all that is fun, but the rest of people think that I have no life and all that.

Sorry for my English, it's not my native language.

[yondyr]

lol, King, that's a damned good non-native language.
As a kid I was sooo lost, considered uneducable - turns out it was true..in a classroom situation. What's in my head, I put there, learning by myself, following interests, though the downside is I have vast voids where curiosity didn't lead me.

[Oica]

As a kid, for as far back as I can remember, I always preferred spending my time by myself as opposed to with other kids. They all seemed like uncouth, threatening barbarians. :P I spent almost all my time doing video games, PC stuff (back when DOS was all the rage, yessss! :3), reading, ect.

I ****HATED**** school with a burning rancor. I felt like I'd been tossed into some bizarre foreign land filled with neanderthals and incompetent and arbitrary adults as its rulers. XD

Teenage years were pretty much in the same avenue, except I added lots of art stuff and started spending a lot of time thinking about, like, things, and all that deep stuff most of the time.


This sounds like a summary of my life until now but beginning in 1991.

Fortunately, i have a group of friends (about 8) that i've been able to stick with for 3 years.

[Maitri1970]

I scored as an INTJ for the pass few months and I can't find a reliable resource that describes what INTJs are like as teenagers or children, so just what are they like? Do they fit the nerd/bookworm stereotype like I do? Do any INTJs have Asperger's Syndrome(I scored 42 AQ)?
My mother tells me I was very willful, highly observant, but also withdrawn. Every photo I see myself in as a child, I look like a total clown. No color coordination whatsoever. When I asked my mother about this, she told me I was so willful that I wouldn't let anyone dress me. She decided that as long as I was comfortable, I could wear whatever I wanted. I also had a habit of running around without underpants on and peeing in the backyard but that's another story. I was an odd duck.

I wanted to check out a book on death when I was in the 2nd grade. The librarian immediately wanted to help me pick out a "happy" book. I didn't want a happy book. I wanted to read the book about death. I didn't think there was anything wrong with that and thought the librarian was trying to mother me. I resented that.

[Hdier]

Well, Im still a teenager. Im still 14. I like to be ALONE, for a great amount of time. I only have few friend's that I talk with ( Tecnology, Military, Racism, Strategy) that's what we only talk about. Sometimes youl find us, sitting in the benches, reading.... and reading, and reading, and reading some more. I don't talk much, to get me laughing is quite a feat. To get me talking is a miracle.... I only lead, in group's of 3, And when nobody want's to lead. And, when I was taking my social studies class, my teacher told me, what's my opinion on Christianity. I just said " Do you really want to know?". And being the teacher she was, she said "Yes". I told her "To say the truth, we'd be better of without it, There's no scientific proof that Yahve actually exist's, And it was the cause of many war's, so I don't care at all about Christianity, it's just the oil to the fire". You can imagine what my classmates, thought about that...

I'm 14 as well, and apart from better apostrophy usage, I'm basically the same. The only difference is that it's easy to get me talking in a one-on-one situation, if it is the right topic. Also, I hate organized religion, but not religion itself.

Also, I love showing off my expertise (or at least, that's what I make it seem to my peers) whenever I get the chance. Word choice, I have found, can be much more affective than actuall knowledge. Though, in the subjects that I don't specialize in I rarely put more that three words together.

[Danisty]

I ****HATED**** school with a burning rancor. I felt like I'd been tossed into some bizarre foreign land filled with neanderthals and incompetent and arbitrary adults as its rulers. XDMy entire childhood was full of incompetent authority figures. My parents had to fight with the school many times over the things teachers had said or done. Actually, I think my life is still filled with incompetent authority figures. In elementary school, I made a couple of friends, but found out after a good bit of heartache that they were really just using and manipulating me for their own entertainment. I stopped trusting people. I hated sports and the community I grew up in was very sports-oriented. I think the only decent friend I had in elementary school was a boy who was as fond of science as I was. It didn't take long for that to start having adverse effects on my life as well since people made all kinds of weird-ass assumptions about why a white girl was playing with a black boy.

When I got into middle school, I made some acquaintances but kept them all at a distance. The friends I did start making were all at least 2 grades ahead of me. Middle school was probably the worst time in my life. At least in elementary school, I was ignorant of what other children were doing, but in middle school I was aware enough to see the nasty games they were playing. I can't tell you how many times I ended up in the counselor's office being told that we should "all just try to get along" after some incident where someone stole something from me or bullied me, or whatever. I'm still not sure why I should try to get along with such people. :rolleyes:

High school was much better. I found my group of losers. All of the misfits and rejects banded together and like someone else mentioned, I ended up being the leader simply because I was bolder than everyone else. Basically, I had gotten sick of being pushed around and found that scaring other people was a really effective way of getting them to leave me alone. So I had my freak friends and everyone else just hated us and we didn't care. In high school, I got very adventurous despite my introversion. I was no longer afraid of standing out (and if anyone said anything about it, I'd just verbally tear them to shreds...it actually became quite fun to "break" people mentally). I was also sexually adventurous and basically the most "perverted" chick in school. I was always one of the guys but perfectly willing to remind them that I wasn't really a guy. I was more popular with the unpopular guys because I was more open to things that interested them like comic books, roleplaying, video games, and porn.

I was basically a perfect child until I hit 15 and then I was hell. I even ran away with the carnival once. When I was 17, I threw myself at a 29 year old suicidal, alcoholic ex-marine who I met at a live audience-participation viewing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show...lol. I don't regret any bit of it at all. In fact, those years might be the only years from my childhood that I'm proud of.

[Antares]

1. They have vivid imaginations yep
2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?" +
3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groups+
4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike quality+
5. They enjoy art and music - No, I don't enjoy art. I love music though
6. They love books, and especially enjoy fiction ... Books, sure. I hate fiction.
7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situation +Most of the time
8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings100% + Totally
9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned events +
10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sportstennis, +
11. They are perfectionists + I'm obssessive...
12. They're serious and intense +
13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friends + lol. People say I'm premature.
14. They are original and independent, and value their uniqueness + Of course
15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them - I love my grades and I'll be devastated if I get a bad grade, but they're not of absolute importance

+ is affirmative
- is negative

I'm 14 right now. I have a rebellious streak and like to question everything I'm told. Not to sound arrogant, but to me, if you want me to trust you, you have to earn it. It's the same with respect. In my parents' culture, you are to pay absolutely reverence to your parents and utmost respect to your elders, but I find that quite difficult to do. Most adults I know are... Unworthy. Most of them are irrational, undisciplined and have little self control. Many of my mother's colleagues have no purpose in their lives except work during the day and drink themselves silly at night. They don't think about the world and have no interest in issues bigger than their wallet. They make despicable errors that I imagined could only come from fools. I'm frank and blunt and give a little if my criticisms are unwelcome in others' ears. I know so many people who told me to criticize their work and respond with denial after I did. They only know what they want to hear, and not what they need to hear. I guess I'm your typical teenager. As of now, I think most of the world is shallow and superficial. Sorry for being pessimistic, but that's what I think. Let's move on to other aspects...

I believe in reason over feelings and value justice higher than mercy, but fairness to me is the most important. I'm goal-oriented and have a clear idea of who I want to be (regardless if I make it). Success gives me a great satisfaction and failure easily damages my ego. I don't believe in wearing your heart on your sleeves. I love to be right (even though that's probably a bad trait) and I love to argue, but I lose gracefully if I do and admitting that I was wrong is the first thing I do. I like those who can admit their failure or ignorance readily and I do not believe in indulgence. I find temptations hard to ignore sometimes but I'm working to overcome them.

My social circle consists of two to three dozen friends (and about ten are quite close), but with only two do I feel particularly in sync with. I like to discuss 'big' issues with my friends and I often run out of people who would listen to me because I was 'boring' and 'ancient'. I only really value two or three of them as my 'true friends' because they are the only ones I truly enjoy being with.

[Pinkie]

Am I the only INTJ who actually loved school? I really did! I mean, primary school wasn't easy, because children are, by and large, evil, but I enjoyed learning things so it was never a problem. I wasn't ever lonely, even when no-one talked to me, because I was making things up in my head, or reading in the library. And once I got to grammar school I found some friends who didn't understand me, necessarily, but accepted me anyway, and again, I loved the learning! I loathed the incompetent teachers, but there weren't very many of them, and I ignored anyone else I disliked.

I think I'm just lucky. My family are all IXTX, so I've always had that sort of background which allowed me to feel confident in myself and so not care what other people said.

[ushop]

I was so quiet my parents made rounds of the apartment to make sure I was still there. I never understood why kids my age were so loud; I always chose to sit alone with books or drawing materials to pass the time.

I guess that made me an easy target for bullying. I fought back a bit in junior high, but I couldn't say much - I was so scared of drawing attention that I wouldn't ask for a bathroom pass or to use the water fountain. In HS, I eventually decided 99.9% of people weren't worth my time. And despite being depressed and lonely those years, the worst cry I ever had was over a class conflict that forced me to choose between AP Italian and AP US Govt and Politics.

[Antares]

Am I the only INTJ who actually loved school? I really did! I mean, primary school wasn't easy, because children are, by and large, evil, but I enjoyed learning things so it was never a problem. I wasn't ever lonely, even when no-one talked to me, because I was making things up in my head, or reading in the library. And once I got to grammar school I found some friends who didn't understand me, necessarily, but accepted me anyway, and again, I loved the learning! I loathed the incompetent teachers, but there weren't very many of them, and I ignored anyone else I disliked.

I think I'm just lucky. My family are all IXTX, so I've always had that sort of background which allowed me to feel confident in myself and so not care what other people said.

I actually like school, if I didn't have to encounter so many evil teachers :D I was largely bullied in elementary school, found myself a loner for the best of middle school when work was easy and now in high school I find myself harboring a great resentment to my English teacher, although it should be known that I've never had a good English teacher in my life. My French teacher last year was a disaster. No one liked her, which probably says something about how fair I am in my judgment. I was one of the only ones who actually stood up to her though, and I weaseled my way out of punishments and detentions , which was surprising (because, even though my accusations and my anger are likely to be justified by any of my sane peers, she would have found a way to punish me anyway).

My social life is, and always will be a disaster. Even though I'm by no means lacking friends. In fact, I have quite a lot of them, but what's the point of having friends if you can't bring yourself to like them? What's the point of friendship when you can't even be yourself? My friends are like that. If you try to go into 'deeper' issues, they turn their heads on you and you're pretty much out of the conversation.

You weren't joking when you said you're lucky! My dad's an ESFP, and my mother's an ISFJ and I have a hard time understanding them sometimes.

[Danisty]

Am I the only INTJ who actually loved school? I really did! I mean, primary school wasn't easy, because children are, by and large, evil, but I enjoyed learning things so it was never a problem. I wasn't ever lonely, even when no-one talked to me, because I was making things up in my head, or reading in the library. And once I got to grammar school I found some friends who didn't understand me, necessarily, but accepted me anyway, and again, I loved the learning! I loathed the incompetent teachers, but there weren't very many of them, and I ignored anyone else I disliked.

I think I'm just lucky. My family are all IXTX, so I've always had that sort of background which allowed me to feel confident in myself and so not care what other people said.I love learning, but school itself? It sucked. The teachers were idiots, the other kids were idiots, the principals were idiots. If I could have been home schooled, I would have been the happiest kid on the planet. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option when I was a kid. Nobody was home schooling and we couldn't get the board of education to approve it. We were told I had no choice but to go to either public or private school.

[ThrowerMatt]

This is amazing. I almost perfectly fit into every single one of those categories!

[Learning]

I didn't like school. I loved playing/exploring outside in the dirt, mud, plants, etc. One of my favorite subjects was Science, but I hated school. Montessori probably would have been GREAT! That list that was posted...ding ding ding! That's got it.

[Cuivienen]

When I was younger (now I`m nineteen) I always used to have 2-3 friends who were basically the only ones I would talk to. I was extremely nervous talking to anyone else (my age) and used to be upset when I got into classes where I didn`t "know anyone". When I was in the first 8 years of school or so I never used to really notice, I always loved to read or make up stories and I had my close friends, so I really didn`t care.

Many of the other students at my school were very upper middle class and spent a great deal of their time talking about money, expensive clothes and later, cars, so they were basically not worth my time and respect. Somehow grown-ups, especially educated ones, usually like me and are impressed with me, though.

School was basically boring most of the time, even though I went to a preppy private school most subjects weren`t interesting enough for me to bother putting up a real effort and I was usually better the higher the difficulty level was; I got good ór very good grades I never cared about even if I didn`t do my homework, so why the hell should I spend my time studying for subjects like Religious Education and Social Studies? I prefered to spend my time reading literature of all kinds and finding out everything about things I was interested in.

When I was 13 puberty happened and I had a 2-3 year long "F"-phase" and started being upset with myself for being so shy. People told me that I never looked people in the eye when talking to them and I know I was often reallý nervous when talking to classmates, which of course they noticed. I noticed that I was different but didn`t quite know how and why. It also didn`t help that I really didn`t care for gossip, fashion, boys or soap operas.

Then, in tenth grade, I went on a week-long cross-country skiing trip with a teacher and a bunch of my yearmates (+ my best friend). In the course of that trip we got to know 3 or 4 other students I had never previously noticed before. When we got back home we met on a weekend, they brought their friends and we brought ours and we all got along well. Since then our group has widened, by now we`re about 18 or so (boys and girls), and among them are some of the most interesting, intelligent, different people I know (among them are a few NTs whom I like talking to and debating with especially).

The fact that I now knew more people improved my social skills and let me enjoy the last couple of years. They were rather similar to me in many ways and accepted me the way I was. Somehow I always seemed to be closer to the boys than the girls though: When there is a party at somebody`s house you will usually find me with 3 or 4 of the boys, debating politics, philosophy or literature while the other girls talk about shopping.

By now I like spending time with (some) people, but when I do I am usually exhausted afterwards and have to spend at least as much time alone to regain new energy, usually behind the closed door of my room or now appartment. Luckily my introvert parents (INTP and INFJ) could relate and never made me feel weird for being me.

[HarleyQuinn]

As a child, I was quite happy engaging in social activities (as long as the groups were small. Up to say 5-6 people) but I also had a strong love of sports and would quickly throw myself into games going on (even playing with kids a grade higher than me).

I was somewhat introverted (I'd eat lunch with my best friend and we would trade lunches) but not always. I often had a group of friends around me, usually 3-4 kids. In pre-school, my friends and I got the nickname of "The Three Musketeers" because we were always together. I do remember spending recesses in 3rd grade just talking with my teacher and picking his brain while the other kids would be playing outside.

School was alright, although up until Sr. year of high school I was a total slacker and didn't put it any effort because I either didn't care for the class or got an A without trying. It started getting to the point where my mother was asking if I had any desire to go to college b/c of my apathy (I disliked history and science which were required).

As far as emotions... I totally wore my emotions on my sleeve and kinda still do sometimes (although I've become far less open about displaying them). I'm quick to smile but I remember I'd be just as quick to cry or complain to somebody else if I was excluded from an activity. I remember, one instance in middle school where I openly started crying in gym class because somebody cut in line in front of me (in my defense, we were trying out the uneven bars). Although I also remember it was more out of frustration because I couldn't rectify the situation.

Like others, I was extremely independent in terms of choosing what clothes to wear, etc. I cringe when I look back at old family pictures.

I too got teased although I got along with most people. I mostly got teased for avoiding people and one year I was appointed to do the school announcements with another classmate. We're walking through the halls (he's talking to 2 girls) and I'm well ahead of them and he said, "Dave, why are you walking so fast? Scared of us?" teasing me about how fast I walk. I still walk fast due to habit (I don't like being "slow" in general) and because it minimizes the time to interact with other people. I was never physically teased but just verbally.

I was also fiercely loyal to my friends. Fierce to the point that I'd step up to bullies if my friends were being targeted just because of my attitude of, "Fine to mess with me but look at a friend wrong and there will be hell to pay." The most heartbreaking thing I can remember is that I was talking with my parents about my best friends back in Mansfield. It had been about six years since I moved to Sudbury (moved there when I was 10) and my father was telling me how they were still being bullied (they were in high school) and one of them got threatened with a knife. The only thing I could think was, "I wish I was there to stand up for them" even if it meant getting harmed myself. I hadn't been in contact with them at all since I was 10 but I still felt this anger that someone was trying to hurt my best friends.

It's burning me up just thinking about it... Anyway, that was me as a child (and largely as a teenager).

[Anges]

It always amazes me that a test can be so accurate. Each and every one of those fifteen points fit me perfectly when I was younger, and even now.

[Oath]

Although I have occasionally questioned the accuracy of my INTJ designation, I have consistently tested as such over the past two years.

By the way, I just turned 17, so I should be able to answer this question pretty accurately..

I have few substantial memories from my earliest years (<5), but my mother has described as one who even then was very reserved and diligent. I drew and colored pictures, played with action figures, endured a love for the Power Rangers, et cetera. I'm not sure whether INTJs are typically classified as 'indoorsy' types, but I certainly wasn't: I loved running around and playing on my jungle gym (again, not sure if that's really an oddity).

Mid-Childhood (5-10) encompassed my obsession with Pokémon (which was typical of the time period: late '90s-early '00s). I guess it's telling of my INTJ nature that I loved the organization and specification of different types of Pokémon, the fact that they were put in numbered order, and so on. I played a lot of video games during this time in my life - Super Mario 64 and Mario Kart 64 were (and still are) two of my favorites. :D

I was definitely much more open to socializing during this era than in my pre-teen years. I wonder from time-to-time if there was some definitive moment that caused me to close myself off from a substantial chunk of my peers during middle school, but I've yet to pin-point an event..

Anyway, during my mid-childhood I was pretty receptive to others, but I was definitely always considered the 'smart' one that was the most reserved. Despite that label, I had a substantial amount of friends.

It was during middle school (when I was 10-13) that my INTJ personality really became apparent. While I still maintained a small group of neighborhood friends during this time, I knew that the majority of them did not relate well to me and we weren't really 'compatible,' so to speak. I pretty much lost all contact with any other friends I had in elementary school... I spent a lot of time on the computer, and basically posted on anime forums (where I made a lot of online friends). I did find some kids in school with the same interests as me, however. For the record, I maintained top grades during this era (I wasn't one of those kids who was trying to drop out of society or whatever).

My teen years (14-present) have been vastly different from my awkward, onset-of-puberty phase that I experienced during middle school. I maintained top grades in honors and AP classes and was ranked in the top ten of my class, captained the Varsity Cross-Country and Track teams, was a National Honor Society board member, and so on. In many ways, I'm the stereotypical high school overachiever. I'm unsure whether this behavior is typical of the INTJ (from other posts I've read in this thread, it doesn't seem that way).

By the time I was in 10th grade, I had found my 'niche group,' and definitely opened myself up socially the most I had since my childhood. I guess a good way to place an image of my 'status' in high school is by describing the Senior Superlative I won: Best-Kept Secret. "Best-Kept Secret" is someone considered 'cool' to hang out with, but not necessarily the most well-known.

Still, I recognize that I'm naturally more introverted than extroverted, although I am increasingly considering myself an ambivert. I definitely possess the cool rationality of the INTJ and absorb information like a sponge. I analyze EVERYTHING to no end, and I'm not exactly proud of it.

While I'm still young, I think I've begun to develop my extroverted and feeling sides more, but I realize I'll probably never get them to the point of my natural functions. I mean, the fact that I'm even posting on an online forum is telling of the traits I hold at my core.

[The Many]

Interesting topic, I've been intending to post it myself actually.

As a child I was pretty much like most other children, even though I was noted for knowing a lot of things even back then - my first "knowledge system" as these MBTI tests will say INTJs have was cars, which later turned into animals (especially dinosaurs and various kinds of fish - in fact I have only recently started to re-discover the beauty of nature) and then sports, which I quite enjoyed until I became ten years old or so. Then my interests turned inwards and I got more interested in books, especially fantasy, and I started losing my childhood friends. It was also during that period that the abilities of my mind started to show even in school, which made me even more differentiated from other kids. Of course, being as private as I was didn't help either.

Then my areas of interest progressed into all kinds of nerderies in my early teen years, I got into playing Warhammer (I even designed a new fantasy miniatures game, complete with a world to set it in at 14), I read other fantasy stuff, played computer games and such things all the time. I was essentially a fat, spotty and obnoxious teenager entirely without social skills and any understanding of people whatsoever, so it quite amazes me that I didn't get teased about it. I was quite arrogant, self-confident (or rather self-aware, since I did better in school than most everyone else as well) and verbally vicious though, and not that bad at sports, so I was probably never seen as weak enough to bully. Fortunately. However I was also essentially friendless, as is quite easy to understand in hindsight, which was driving me into my first bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts.

Suddenly, at 15, I started wondering why I wasn't doing anything more real-world constructive with my time than living in fantasy worlds, so I sold all my Warhammer models and I started getting more interested in music as well as in the real world. I was a total metalhead in my mid-teens, I spent a lot of time on forums, but I managed to find some friends in real life too, as well as getting involved in a couple of stories with girls (some of which are quite hilarious and may deserve a thread of their own). I was never particularly happy about anything though, and even suffered through some longer periods of depression and being suicidal, especially after a strange story with the one girl I actually fell in love with.

All the time I kept my grades high, and my last year in high school (I'm 19 now, graduated last year) I spent a lot of time reading philosophy and essentially paying deep attention to the outside world. I have also taken quite an interest in art and have been involved in a drama/theater group, which has been a very nice experience. In the end I was even awarded a stipendium when graduating due to my high grades (I made that one of my long-term goals early on) and "development of knowledge", as they had it - most of which was never due to school. The depressive periods also seem to have ended with my deeper understanding of things, due to the confidence I have found in my understanding. I even think that having spent all my life as a depressed outcast has made me appreciate things a lot more than the more well-adjusted people would. I still don't have many friends, but I can live with that - after all I am still quite picky.

[Hdier]

Am I the only INTJ who actually loved school? I really did! I mean, primary school wasn't easy, because children are, by and large, evil, but I enjoyed learning things so it was never a problem. I wasn't ever lonely, even when no-one talked to me, because I was making things up in my head, or reading in the library. And once I got to grammar school I found some friends who didn't understand me, necessarily, but accepted me anyway, and again, I loved the learning! I loathed the incompetent teachers, but there weren't very many of them, and I ignored anyone else I disliked.

I think I'm just lucky. My family are all IXTX, so I've always had that sort of background which allowed me to feel confident in myself and so not care what other people said.

I'd love school, except that it's holding me back. They move to slowly, and I can't get the quality learning of a one-on-one teaching in the group teaching that I want and need. Plus, I have to wake up at 6:00 every weekmorning.

[ssfanatic]

I am a teenage INTJ and its not that difucult. One good friend is plenty to be able to cope with the trials of adolescents. Though a friend that is your age and also an INTJ is rare.
And that freakin lists makes my skin crawl bec is describes me so well!

[niffer]

There are two classmates (the same age as me) I have that have confirmed to be INTJs. One of them is somewhat extroverted, but still obviously an INTJ, and the other one is more the typical INTJ, but very mild-mannered.

The two INTJs are friends, and in my school they are never harassed for how they are. The more extroverted one is sometimes snickered at for his thoughts when he shares them in class discussions, but nothing more than that. They aren't "popular", but have their own circle of friends and are generally liked. They have a bit of an eccentric sense of humour that usually revolves around politics or FPS gaming, but it is still understandible and amusing (at least by me; the general population isn't too familiar with it though). They both are somewhat mysterious and private, and keep their dignity.

I'd say they are about as intelligent as I am, although I get better grades than them. The mild-mannered one is a bit of a genius at math, and is very good at the sport ultimate (Frisbee with rules). The somewhat extroverted one is into flash animation and is pretty good at it too, and also swims competitively. They both seem to be quite creative. They pursue topics of personal interest very deeply, on top of having at least surface knowledge of most everything else. I seem to have about equal intuition as them. The more introverted one seems to be the more innocent one.

I talked to them more last year, and I still do a little this year. The extroverted one talks to me a bit more outside of school. My interactions with them are brief. They do something which I have seen in few people, which is they tend to look me directly in the eye, and deeply. I think we see the N in each other. The more introverted one, when I look at him, will look at me once, then look to the side. When we interact, we usually talk while positioned shoulder to shoulder. I know that I am not really in his social circle, so I respect his privacy. The more extroverted one can go very ENTP on me and is almost always smiling, which may be odd for his type. When he interacts with me, he not only looks directly into my eyes, but holds his gaze (it kind of seems like he wants to eat me). He goes speechless and becomes very amused when the cheekiness and validity of my logic trumps his. Ulitmately, I don't know very much about these two though.

[gebstone]

i totally agree with the observations. a pity my teachers dont know about this and keep trying to get me to do the opposite, akin to a fish out of water. i plan on enlightening them about that soon. haha!

[Sylvanus]

I'd love school, except that it's holding me back. They move to slowly, and I can't get the quality learning of a one-on-one teaching in the group teaching that I want and need. Plus, I have to wake up at 6:00 every weekmorning.

See if your district has a 'Running Start' or similar program that allows you to take college classes in high school for both high school and college credit for no cost. Sometimes they aren't available until Junior year, but it is well worth it. I procrastinated too much and never signed up for it when I was in high school, I'm still kicking myself for it.





Sylvanus added to this post, 57 minutes and 44 seconds later...

I have always been a bit of a loner, I tried to be like the other kids but I wasn't very good at it. Sometimes I just gave up and did my own thing, but as I got older I felt weird being by myself in public. I have always treated people as 'take it or leave it', never growing attached to anyone. I shouldn't have been surprised that people would treat me the same way. I get along with people really well, but I tire of their presence rapidly. It wasn't until high school that I found friends that fit my style well. All my friends were the metalheads, the punks, the smokers and other 'counter-culture' type people. We could just hang out during lunch, not go anywhere or do anything and I could sit there not talking to anyone and looking like I was fitting in. After school of course I headed straight home, and never talked to anyone outside of school. I went to Homecoming my freshman year, hated it. Never went to any dances ever again.
[That's the I part, now for the rest of the NTJ]

I learned to read by myself before kindergarten by listening to books on tape with the books in front of me. In elementary school my teachers often thought I had hearing problems. Even though I still hear better than average, I would zone out several times a day, often while reading or doing schoolwork I would be so engrossed in what I was doing that I wouldn't hear the teacher calling my name or talking to me. By 5th grade I was so bored with school that I stopped caring/trying. School went too slow and the first 2 months of school was reviewing the things we learned the last year. I read constantly outside of school and had learned all the material in my textbooks well ahead of time, on top of reading my own books. I coasted through middle and high school, getting mostly B's and C's, never putting in any effort. I didn't make the mistake my older sister did taking honors classes: 3 times the work, but the material wasn't significantly more challenging. Why waste the time? In high school, I discovered the Internet, and I was able to greatly supplement my thirst for knowledge that way. I learned HTML and created lots of random websites for fun. The only classes I ever put any effort into were my C++ class and my photography class. These classes were the only ones I ever took in my entire 12 years of school that both challenged me and interested me. Band challenged me because I have no natural aptitude for music, but it did not interest me. For some reason I stayed in it for 5 years while hating it the entire time.

[Hdier]

See if your district has a 'Running Start' or similar program that allows you to take college classes in high school for both high school and college credit for no cost. Sometimes they aren't available until Junior year, but it is well worth it. I procrastinated too much and never signed up for it when I was in high school, I'm still kicking myself for it.

:chuckles: In my last class (I'm in school right now, but don't have a class) we were just told about this...however, I have to wait until I'm sixteen (for the ones on the college campus). The ironic thing is that I'm about to do this, but it is college credit while I'm taking a High School class...no more challenging or fast-paced then normal.

[Jedi_sena]

I was telling my mom about the description for INTJs and how much I identify w/ the aspects citing recent examples of my behavior. My mom listened with much interest and kept saying, "that's how you were as a child too" and would occasionally cite examples from my childhood. Apparently, little has changed.

[Hdier]

My mom told me that the first time we went to a swimming pool, I waited outside for about 10 minutes to observe everyone before getting in myself.

[Jedi_sena]

I tried to take my queues from the adults moreso than my peers. I was always thinking of whether we could get injured or punished for participating.

[Blacklustre King]

Unfortunately thanks to my INTJ personality I was questioning the reliability of text book material by the third grade and absolutely refused to pursue my education at the whim of the state government.

I quietly turned my back on the system and educated myself, even now I’ am intellectually superior to everyone I know personally.

My problem is the flaws in the system, I cannot conscious ably apply myself to a broken system. It is illogical and inefficient to knowingly damage my own integrity by giving into the popular conception that a public provided or private education is the only means of attaining any degree of respectable skill or intellect.

I’ am a high school drop out and I’ am proud to say that I’ am now co-manager of a multi million dollar project not including what shadowy manipulations I have sewed in just my own community with my militaristic organization. I’ am the personification of an individualistic mastermind and personally I want to keep it that way for “higher education” is a criterion far beneath me.

My high intellect at a young age did not help my ability to have friends either, I did not understand sadness or anger nor did I, or do I really care. I used friends more as subjects of study rather then companions meant for fun and merriment.

The kid who cannot see the world as a kid should, more a subject of study and improvement. Every system and every process bounces around in my head and at any one time I can dismantle and reconfigure a broken system better and more efficient then it ever was before. I was comforted when I came across the Jung/Myer’s/Briggs personality test for it finally allowed me to view in vivid description the very personality I define.

My contingency is infinitely flexible; the world is my play ground.

[Zilal]

As a kid I was mostly quiet, often silly or goofy, constantly reading and inventing worlds and games. I had a few friends. I was very empathetic, never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings, and a bit morally righteous. I got along well with authority figures. If I was criticized for anything it was probably mostly for being slow, taking my time doing things, daydreaming, being unfocused. We got a computer when I was young and I taught myself to program and started making games.

As a teenager I was very dorky, had periods with no friends, wouldn't open up, was generally depressed and hated school, which I dropped out of a couple times. Still respected authority though, still goofy and creative and bright, but not the finest period of my life.

My social skills did improve a great deal between then and now... now they're uneven (still bad at small talk) but generally quite good. But I'm 30 now and only just starting to open up!

[Sylvanus]

:chuckles: In my last class (I'm in school right now, but don't have a class) we were just told about this...however, I have to wait until I'm sixteen (for the ones on the college campus). The ironic thing is that I'm about to do this, but it is college credit while I'm taking a High School class...no more challenging or fast-paced then normal.

Unfortunately thanks to my INTJ personality I was questioning the reliability of text book material by the third grade and absolutely refused to pursue my education at the whim of the state government.
...
I’ am a high school drop out and I’ am proud to say that I’ am now co-manager of a multi million dollar project not including what shadowy manipulations I have sewed in just my own community with my militaristic organization. I’ am the personification of an individualistic mastermind and personally I want to keep it that way for “higher education” is a criterion far beneath me.


I agree with Blacklustre King that a public education is essentially worthless. However, the piece of paper that says you graduated is extremely valuable. Hdier (and all you other high schoolers), I felt your pain (like many others here) about the boring classes that are beneath your potential. It sucks but it is well worth it. Not everyone is able to be like Blacklustre here and get a good job with no diploma. Jobs like this require experience and knowledge. It is hard (not impossible) to get experience without a degree, but it is easier to just coast through school, get the piece of paper, and get on with your life. Coasting through college is easy, but definitely more interesting than high school. I have an assignment due in 45 minutes that I haven't even looked at what I'm supposed to do, and I'm sitting here browsing forums, but I know I'll get it in on time and get a good grade.

[slut poacher]

the social awkwardness growing up definitely applies, was always a bit of a loner, my grades were always lousy, i slept a lot in class to prevent the impending psychotic episode that was being provoked by the mindnumbingness found in most classrooms, i was always told before finals that there was no way i could pass the class unless i scored 100 on the final. i always passed the class. i always looked at trying to get good grades in school as "why bother" what good is this watered down crap going to do for me later on? i can honestly say that a public school education didnt teach me anything of value after grade 8. technical training at college later on in the field of my choice was a pleasure. straight A-s. in high school i was an almost an outcast, a couple things that were different for me than most on is site are: 1.i dont qualify as a geek, (i am a geek under the skin) i was always too big to be messed with. it was a bit different before i was 15, i would get bullied by a few of the less intelligent seniors, the smarter ones who would have otherwise bullied me probably said to themselves: hey this kid is only 14 he might come looking to even things up in a few years, i did even things up with all the dumb ones, my brother, 5 years younger, also a big guy and an intj never had any of these issues. the mention of my name to a bully resulted in the bully giving up his lunch money so it never got back to me. i had a reputation as some kind of psycho-killer which was totally undeserved. i never caused anyone any trouble and stuck to my own little circle of friends, i just wasnt going to put up with any high school wannabe alpha-male jock bullshit. 2.i was/am a jock, baseball,rugby,football, by the time football came around i was pretty much done with team sports, i only got involved after much groveling from the vice principal (also the coach) to join the team, i really wasnt interested in the game but the team came to rely on my abilities on the field. which was a get out of jail free card for me, i couldnt be suspended because that meant that i couldnt play. i used this to maximum advantage. being on the team was rather strange, i was fraternizing with the enemy, to be on the team was to be popular, to be one of the star players was something else again. the team attempted to bring me into the inner circle, i was disgusted by what i saw. the players had been hoisted up onto some sort of social pedestal because they chased an oblong ball around in the mud, and this gave them the right to treat those they considered to be uncool like shit. i stayed on the team to take advantage of my situation with the coach. but i put an end to me being in the social circle, i had no desire to become what these jock douchebags were aspiring to be. 3.i got heavily involved in bmx (freestyle) the friends i made who rode were all real individuals looking to do their own thing but without having to do it alone. i could take all my pent up frustrations and get on my bike and everything was ok again. even after 20 years, the bike (i still ride 38 years old,still pretty good) and the friends are still with me. these 2 things are probably the most positive things i have from growing up and i dont intend to give up either any time soon.

[desg90]

I'm about to turn 18 and my life fits with almost every word in many psychological profiles.

So... starting from my childhood...
Mom and dad say that I was able to solve three simple puzzles at the same time when I was a mere toddler. That really amazed them. I can only remember a Bambi puzzle that was way too simple (but fun, nonetheless) to solve. :p

Same goes for the cube with holes where you put colorful figures in it.
(I can't remember why I did it, but boring as it was, I never tired of it).

I still have my Snoopy and Mickey Mouse Encyclopedias.
I loved the first tome of Snoopy's Set: The Human Body. :laugh:
I was mesmerized by the bone and nervous system sections.
I didn't know how to read yet, but I continued looking at those structures.
Today, one of my favorite subjects is... yes, you guessed right: biology. ;)

Later on, I was (and still am) forced by my parents to excel academically, which hasn't been too difficult, excepting anything involving numbers. School has always been boring and teachers very silly (no matter how qualified or how interesting their subjects may be). Since Kindergarten, I've always been a homework procrastinator. Damn! I hate that thing! It's a real waste of time! :yuck:

When I grew up, I admired the Genius Boy's cartoons.
Dexter, the pompous know it all.
Jimmy, the big-headed boy with lousy adventures.
A few evil geniuses, as well. :cool:

I started imitating their style and yes... I was continuously told I was too arrogant and pompous. So, after being reprehended for too much time, I changed tactics and, instead of compulsively seeking congratulations on my knowledge and wisdom, I became very reserved and socially awkward (much more awkward, I mean). I retired to the library almost on every recess. My obsession on books caused some librarians to scold me on my social isolation. They even encouraged me to stop reading! :thinking: There was a time when my parents took my favorite books away from me as a cruel punishment. :suspicious:

Speaking of obsessions, I was a pokémaster as well.
When there were only 151, I was able to recite their names in numerical order. I had almost "caught 'em all". And when the second versions arrived, I became a fantastic breeder. Those creatures were born with amazing attacks when they hatched. I always won the pokécontests and all that nerdy stuff. Ahh... the good ol' days! :lovestruck:

Anyway, it has always been very difficult for me to make acquaintances, much less friends. I just can't help but feel aversion towards a neighbor calling on the door or the skin of the person sitting next to me. I don't become mad because of it. It just drains me. :blank:

Maybe it was this attitude that gained me the tittle of "that insufferable and perfectionist know it all" during primary school and junior high. ;D

By the way, I've been changing schools almost every year since primary school because I'm not satisfied with their systems. My mom appreciates my academic potential and always agreed to change me to another private school if I didn't feel comfortable enough.

Until... I found out about the French academic system...
I initially wanted to learn French and immediately change of school (as always). But, something about it made me change my mind... Was it the challenging exigence from the teachers? Was it their being competent? Was it the elitism? Was it the liberal environment? Was it the fact that they value abstract thoughts and logical deduction above all skills? Maybe it was all of them. :lovestruck:

Now, I'm studying over excruciatingly long hours, but I always manage to go on. Not because of my parents' efforts to pay the school... but out of pride. I'm one of the best students in most classes (a teacher's pet, more like) even if some people in the establishment didn't think I would go too far because of my dismal math grades in the entry exam. :rolleyes:

So, I'm currently trying to focus on art, literature, languages and intellectual topics. Of course, unless I'm really obsessed with the topic, usually my attention span tends to be too short. Sometimes in maths or history I catch myself daydreaming and blocking away all the external stimuli... to a freaky extent! :scared:

Oh, and, if you were wondering, I'm not as openly pompous and perfectionist as I was a long time ago. I mean, I still am, but I try to present a goofy/diplomatic mask in order to be tolerated a bit more. When people don't like your behavior, they usually tend to try to destroy your image out of... fear, I guess. :undecided:

I might have forgotten a few things that were mentioned and to which I strongly relate but... it's difficult to keep track with all the interesting stories!

Some people really had a dramatic life (from my point of view).
I've always been pampered too much. But as my parents are also very strict, I've learned to expect ambiguous reactions from people. :p

[Sylvanus]

...
Anyway, it has always been very difficult for me to make acquaintances, much less friends. I just can't help but feel aversion towards a neighbor calling on the door or the skin of the person sitting next to me. I don't become mad because of it. It just drains me. :blank:...

That's always a relationship killer. I do enjoy physical touch, but only from my wife and kids. But it has to be on my terms. I get upset and drained if I'm touched/hugged unexpectedly or if I'm not in the right mood. My parents were huggy people and I couldn't stand it, but I could always tell they were hurt when I pulled away or didn't reciprocate. It's hard to fake it.

[desg90]

That's always a relationship killer. I do enjoy physical touch, but only from my wife and kids. But it has to be on my terms. I get upset and drained if I'm touched/hugged unexpectedly or if I'm not in the right mood. My parents were huggy people and I couldn't stand it, but I could always tell they were hurt when I pulled away or didn't reciprocate. It's hard to fake it.

Truthful human contact is hard to fake, I know.
And that's not the worst of it. :suspicious:

Remember I said I am in a French-Hispanic environment?
Human contact is part of your daily life. :blank:
Sometimes, you even feel as though people were forcing contact on you.
That's the way these cultures are. :undecided:

Hugs, handshakes, stuffed buses, cheek kisses...
I got used to them, but it doesn't make them any easier. :p
Calculated handshakes, quick hugs, superficial greetings...
I'm either too cold or I really do have Asperger's.:laugh:

[Sylvanus]

Truthful human contact is hard to fake, I know.
And that's not the worst of it. :suspicious:

Remember I said I am in a French-Hispanic environment?
Human contact is part of your daily life. :blank:
Sometimes, you even feel as though people were forcing contact on you.
That's the way these cultures are. :undecided:

Hugs, handshakes, stuffed buses, cheek kisses...
I got used to them, but it doesn't make them any easier. :p
Calculated handshakes, quick hugs, superficial greetings...
I'm either too cold or I really do have Asperger's.:laugh:

I've learned a lttle bit about Mexical culture in high-school and college. I also worked with many mexicanamericans in high school. I always got creeped out at how touchy feely and in your face they were.:scared: I'm assuming that you have always lived in Mexico? Or is this just in the last few years?

[desg90]

I've learned a lttle bit about Mexican culture in high-school and college. I also worked with many mexicanamericans in high school. I always got creeped out at how touchy feely and in your face they were.:scared: I'm assuming that you have always lived in Mexico? Or is this just in the last few years?

Most of my life, yeah.
I might be born and "raised" in Mexico.
But, I sometimes doubt being what you'd call a "typical" Mexican.
For one, I'm not nor as "touchy-feely" nor as vulgar and "in your face" as most.
Nor do I enjoy distorting my (or any other) language, nor am I as naive.
Language, history and gastronomy, that's all I've inherited. :p

[Sylvanus]

Most of my life, yeah.
I might be born and "raised" in Mexico.
But, I sometimes doubt being what you'd call a "typical" Mexican.
For one, I'm not nor as "touchy-feely" nor as vulgar and "in your face" as most.
Nor do I enjoy distorting my (or any other) language, nor am I as naive.
Language, history and gastronomy, that's all I've inherited. :p

Judging by how well you write English and by your website, I think you'd fit in pretty well in the US (Portland or Seattle would be a good fit for you). Of course you may have a thick accent for all I know.

[Colette]

Do they fit the nerd/bookworm stereotype like I do? Do any INTJs have Asperger's Syndrome(I scored 42 AQ)?

No Asperger's here, but otherwise yes, I fitted the nerd/bookworm/social retard mold (and largely still do). No regrets, though. Looking back on it now, I wouldn't have wanted to be any other way.

[desg90]

Judging by how well you write English and by your website, I think you'd fit in pretty well in the US (Portland or Seattle would be a good fit for you). Of course you may have a thick accent for all I know.

Accent... accent...
You know, after learning French a few years ago even my snobbish Spanish accent went to hell.
If I didn't articulate properly before, now most of my spoken words are almost unintelligible when I repeat the second time. :p
And I begin stuttering and repeating myself after a first few words. You could say I'm some sort of clutterer.
The problem is so evident, even strangers have asked me to articulate properly.
Just imagine what will happen when I start with German next month?! :scared:

So, don't worry about a thick accent. :rolleyes:
You won't understand a word I say, whatever the accent (snobbish/British ;)).
I speak too fast for my own good. Maybe my tonge can't keep up with my brain?
A visit to a qualified speech therapist is in order, I think. :laugh:

[Sylvanus]

That's ok, talking isn't really my strong point either. I communicate so much better when I write.

[Hdier]

So... starting from my childhood...
Mom and dad say that I was able to solve three simple puzzles at the same time when I was a mere toddler. That really amazed them. I can only remember a Bambi puzzle that was way too simple (but fun, nonetheless) to solve. :p

I used to be fascinated with puzzles, but never really did them. I lost interest as they mostly are to easy, as well as being time consuming.

...

I still have my Snoopy and Mickey Mouse Encyclopedias.
I loved the first tome of Snoopy's Set: The Human Body. :laugh:
I was mesmerized by the bone and nervous system sections.
I didn't know how to read yet, but I continued looking at those structures.
Today, one of my favorite subjects is... yes, you guessed right: biology. ;)

I love science of all kinds, but I particularly love learning about how the brain tells the body to do things, and how the body knows how to respond.

Later on, I was (and still am) forced by my parents to excel academically, which hasn't been too difficult, excepting anything involving numbers. School has always been boring and teachers very silly (no matter how qualified or how interesting their subjects may be). Since Kindergarten, I've always been a homework procrastinator. Damn! I hate that thing! It's a real waste of time! :yuck:

AMEN!!! I hate schools as well, they go to slowly for me and the teachers all seem to be incompetent (I even heard a Spanish teacher admit that she only knew a few words of Spanish once...). Though, I'm in public school right now (hopefully my last year of it).

When I grew up, I admired the Genius Boy's cartoons.
Dexter, the pompous know it all.
Jimmy, the big-headed boy with lousy adventures.
A few evil geniuses, as well. :cool:

You must be thinking of a different Dexter than me, I am thinking of the cartoon about a man named Dexter who works in an office. Not a know-it-all, from what I saw (though I was only able to read it for a couple of months, I can't find them anymore).
I loved Jimmy! Outgrew him quicker than I would've liked.
Artemis Fowl, anyone?

I started imitating their style and yes... I was continuously told I was too arrogant and pompous. So, after being reprehended for too much time, I changed tactics and, instead of compulsively seeking congratulations on my knowledge and wisdom, I became very reserved and socially awkward (much more awkward, I mean). I retired to the library almost on every recess. My obsession on books caused some librarians to scold me on my social isolation. They even encouraged me to stop reading! :thinking: There was a time when my parents took my favorite books away from me as a cruel punishment. :suspicious:

My dad knows better than to do that. If he were ever to do that, I would totally despise him for months, locking myself in my room whenever he was at the apartment, etc. I am very attached to my books. I could never be encouraged to stop reading, even by myself sometimes!

Speaking of obsessions, I was a pokémaster as well.
When there were only 151, I was able to recite their names in numerical order. I had almost "caught 'em all". And when the second versions arrived, I became a fantastic breeder. Those creatures were born with amazing attacks when they hatched. I always won the pokécontests and all that nerdy stuff. Ahh... the good ol' days! :lovestruck:

Same here, on every acount! I only play the games for the Gameboy off-on now, though. Pokemon was my first introduction to TCG's (went on to Yu-Gi-Oh for a bit, then went to playing solely did Magic: The Gathering, which I have been playing since I was nine).

Anyway, it has always been very difficult for me to make acquaintances, much less friends. I just can't help but feel aversion towards a neighbor calling on the door or the skin of the person sitting next to me. I don't become mad because of it. It just drains me. :blank:

Maybe it was this attitude that gained me the tittle of "that insufferable and perfectionist know it all" during primary school and junior high. ;D

Yeah, I had the same title. I enjoy the touch of skin, though. I am love feeling things, especially against my lips. People think I'm weird when I 'kiss' a pencil or something, just for the way it feels.

By the way, I've been changing schools almost every year since primary school because I'm not satisfied with their systems. My mom appreciates my academic potential and always agreed to change me to another private school if I didn't feel comfortable enough.

Not as bad as you, but I've changed schools about four times (I am now a freshman; dad used to be in the military), though they were all public schools. Hoping to go to private school next year.

Until... I found out about the French academic system...
I initially wanted to learn French and immediately change of school (as always). But, something about it made me change my mind... Was it the challenging exigence from the teachers? Was it their being competent? Was it the elitism? Was it the liberal environment? Was it the fact that they value abstract thoughts and logical deduction above all skills? Maybe it was all of them. :lovestruck:

Really? I'll have to look at French schools for college.

Now, I'm studying over excruciatingly long hours, but I always manage to go on. Not because of my parents' efforts to pay the school... but out of pride. I'm one of the best students in most classes (a teacher's pet, more like) even if some people in the establishment didn't think I would go too far because of my dismal math grades in the entry exam. :rolleyes:

So, I'm currently trying to focus on art, literature, languages and intellectual topics. Of course, unless I'm really obsessed with the topic, usually my attention span tends to be too short. Sometimes in maths or history I catch myself daydreaming and blocking away all the external stimuli... to a freaky extent! :scared:

I daydream a lot to, if something isn't interesting enough. The teacher doesn't notice, usually, because:

A. I can usually figure everything out on my own. It's not that tough if you use one once of your brain.

B. My peers always ask three or four things that have already been answered, so on the rare ocastion that I can't infer something on my own, it doesn't seem too odd.

Oh, and, if you were wondering, I'm not as openly pompous and perfectionist as I was a long time ago. I mean, I still am, but I try to present a goofy/diplomatic mask in order to be tolerated a bit more. When people don't like your behavior, they usually tend to try to destroy your image out of... fear, I guess. :undecided:

Yeah, I used to try to be tolerated until I realized that the reason that they wouldn't tolerate me is because I was different from them. Now, I sometimes go out of my way to be different (though, I don't have that opportunity often as I am so different already...I didn't know what myspace was for the longest time, or even that it existed, which is evidently weird at my school).

Some people really had a dramatic life (from my point of view).
I've always been pampered too much. But as my parents are also very strict, I've learned to expect ambiguous reactions from people. :p

You definitely have an interesting life, though not dramatic.

[desg90]

You must be thinking of a different Dexter than me, I am thinking of the cartoon about a man named Dexter who works in an office. Not a know-it-all, from what I saw (though I was only able to read it for a couple of months, I can't find them anymore).
I loved Jimmy! Outgrew him quicker than I would've liked.
Artemis Fowl, anyone?

I meant Dexter as in "Dexter's Lab"...
*Keeps reading*
ARTEMIS FOWL?! HE'S-MY-IDOL!!! :lovestruck:
I never get tired of his objective insight. ;D

Have you read "The Bartimeaus Trilogy"?
That Djini Bartimeaus sure knows how to entertain the reader! :laugh:

Really? I'll have to look at French schools for college.

I would advice against it.
If you don't know the system, it's very easy for you to asume it will be the same and get carried away.
One of my top grades last trimester was 16/20 and that's an A+. :suspicious:
20/20 is a grade you'll never obtain.
(Except if you're excellent at math or physics)
Unless you're not looking for good grades, you'd better familiarize with the system before doing anything in a hurry. ;)

I'm speaking from personal experience.
In fact, just to relax, I plan to go attend an
American college and decline all French offers. ;)
They say French students are the most stressed pupils in all Europe. :stunned:

Yeah, I used to try to be tolerated until I realized that the reason that they wouldn't tolerate me is because I was different from them. Now, I sometimes go out of my way to be different (though, I don't have that opportunity often as I am so different already...I didn't know what myspace was for the longest time, or even that it existed, which is evidently weird at my school).

I do know about myspace, but I'd never use it. It has a silly format and the information can't be properly classified. Look at my personal webpage. You'll find I value tags and order more than those guys at myspace. :rolleyes:

You definitely have an interesting life, though not dramatic.

OK, I might have an interesting life...
But, when you live it for 18 years... it starts being a bit too boring. :thumbsdown:
I'd like to add some healthy drama or adventures now and then. :p

[Hdier]

I meant Dexter as in "Dexter's Lab"...

Oh, Dexter's Lab! I used to watch that, and I loved it!

*Keeps reading*
ARTEMIS FOWL?! HE'S-MY-IDOL!!! :lovestruck:
I never get tired of his objective insight. ;D

Yeah, isn't he awesome? I love the way he does things so analitically, but has those rare moments of emotion that poke through. Also, a good storyline doesn't hurt. I especially enjoy the way he combines his adult-like way of doing things with believing in things that he 'shoudn't'. The fact that he is so much an adult in psychology yet a child in body provides an endless stream of entertainment for me (especially with the most recent book).

Have you read "The Bartimeaus Trilogy"?
That Djini Bartimeaus sure knows how to entertain the reader! :laugh:

It sounds vaguely familiar, but I haven't read it. If it's in the same post as Artemis, though, it must be good. ;)

I would advice against it.
If you don't know the system, it's very easy for you to asume it will be the same and get carried away.
One of my top grades last trimester was 16/20 and that's an A+. :suspicious:
20/20 is a grade you'll never obtain.
(Except if you're excellent at math or physics)
Unless you're not looking for good grades, you'd better familiarize with the system before doing anything in a hurry. ;)

That's why I said look into it. I would say that I am excellent at math, but I don't know the criteria to compare myself to to determine the outcome (your standards).

I'm speaking from personal experience.
In fact, just to relax, I plan to go attend an
American college and decline all French offers. ;)
They say French students are the most stressed pupils in all Europe. :stunned:

For one year or all of college?

OK, I might have an interesting life...
But, when you live it for 18 years... it starts being a bit too boring. :thumbsdown:
I'd like to add some healthy drama or adventures now and then. :p

Yeah, things are only interesting when they're new. Old ruts aren't, no matter how interesting they seemed at first.

[Yongkb21]

Well back in pre-school, I remember I never spoke a word at all. Only nodded, shook my head and smiled. I never cried either. The only time I spoke a word throughout the two years in pre-school.. It was raining, I slipped over on the grass and landed face first in the mud. My whole body was drenched with dirt and mud.. I remember walking towards the class and where all the children had gathered and hearing one of the other kids saying to the teacher.. "MISS! I got mud on my knees".. and you could imagine me stumbling over quietly, covered from head to toe in mud and uttering my first two words to the teacher. "Me too".. Ah the good days lol.

Oh and they changed the whole fence around the pre-school as well.. due to me being an idiot. Don't know why I did it. But one day I just decided to go home in the middle of school. So I grabbed my bag, put my feet where the squares were in the fence and climbed over it. Started walking home, I remembered the roads from how my folks used to take me to school. So I knew my best bet was to get to the highway and follow it. That I did, luckily a family stopped by and asked me where I was going. I said "home", they told me they'd take me but I refused. By the way I am only about 4 to 5 years old at this time. Eventually they left, but came back 10 minutes later. They kept watching me, they then called the cops and they ended up rocking up LOL! and big hassle after that. I remember my mum yelling the shit out of me in the car with my cousins who had finished school (at the same school, just they were in higher grades). I just sat there with my head down. Hehe :laugh:

[desg90]

Yeah, isn't he awesome? I love the way he does things so analitically, but has those rare moments of emotion that poke through. Also, a good storyline doesn't hurt. I especially enjoy the way he combines his adult-like way of doing things with believing in things that he 'shoudn't'. The fact that he is so much an adult in psychology yet a child in body provides an endless stream of entertainment for me (especially with the most recent book).

Yeah, the drama is refreshingly different form contemporary cheesy literature.
I've only read the first book (I refuse to read the third book until those incompetents bring the second book in my school library). But it was enough to appreciate him as a thinker and schemer. :thumbsup:

It sounds vaguely familiar, but I haven't read it. If it's in the same post as Artemis, though, it must be good. ;)

It isn't in the same range... it's... better... and not as good.

Better: It's an entity with millenia of experience and knowledge.
His sense of humor and point of view is pretty much INTJ.
He makes all kind of remarks and notes during the book.
It's good fun for an INTJ. I, for one, consider him a genius when it comes to comedy.
I'm sure others would consider harsh and rude. :laugh:

Not so good: His drama is a tad more feely.
A slave who has a weak spot for humans that treat him like an equal.
Whatever he might say about his nature... he has "lived" with humans for too long.
As he said, his "essence" was contaminated by human emotions like hatred, envy, despair and love.

That's why I said look into it. I would say that I am excellent at math, but I don't know the criteria to compare myself to to determine the outcome (your standards).

If you can solve twenty math problems out of twenty you'll have 20/20.
If you can write as though you were a 50 year old French writer at the age of 17... you can only aspire to 19.5/20.
Literature is a tricky subject. It's not only based on skills but it is based on the teacher's standards, his/her mood, and personal preferences.
Other subjects require you to be more analytic, intuitive, descriptive or even resemble a recording machine. AND, oral exams need you to be a great student and demagogue (see literature above).

I mean, if you're really interested in the challenge, research about the French system.
You'll find that worthy schools are academically rigid but intellectually flexible. ;)
That's the irony and the frustration. :rolleyes:

Plus, you'll have to endure the system subtly forcing you to believe in the "French Republican Ideals"
Sigh... I don't know why they didn't vote for Segolène...
"French Socialism" is much more moderated and idealistic.

Oh and, if you're very patriotic, you might find French patriotism a bit... annoying.
They're very proud of themselves and won't hesitate to demonstrate it.
I'm not too attached to my own country,
so I can't know for sure what others would feel about the French.

TIP: French usually greet with a set of two-three kisses (or even four in certain regions)
and tend to use body contact as a common form of expression.
So, anyone not accustomed to significant human contact during a conversation
should start training if they intend to meet a French person.

For one year or all of college?

All of college and even graduate level.
Four years in the French system are enough for me. ;)
Yes, I get bored easily. It's not a challenge now.
It's a cartload of homework with subjective examinations
all crammed in the same week before the counsel at the end of the trimester.

And American education has a bit more glamour to it than the European one.
So, I'm using the school's name and location as a tool. :laugh:

Yeah, things are only interesting when they're new. Old ruts aren't, no matter how interesting they seemed at first.

I agree! ;D

[Richard0612]

I'm still a teenager [15], and feel as though I am on the wrong planet!
I was reading fluently from an early age, but never really liked writing [I preferred maths/science]. In Year 5/6 my INTJ-ness really started to come out, I seemed to be constantly thinking about something other that what I was doing [I did manage to pay attention though]. Once I was called in to see the school 'counselor' or 'social welfare officer', I can't remember the exact title. She asked why I didn't like socialising and preferred the company of adults. I told her the truth, that I couldn't have a meaningful conversation with 98% of my classmates because they wouldn't have the foggiest idea what I was talking about. I was labeled as 'pompous' and 'thought too much of myself'; in truth, nothing could have been further from my mind. Luckily my ISTJ/INTJ mum realised exactly what I meant and respected my intelligence, that really helped.

Unfortunately we had a family 'friend' who was a bit of a cling-on. She was probably an ESTJ, and her 3 kids were also xSTJ. We went to her house for a party [it was almost a requirement to stay in her 'inner circle', now I wonder why we bothered] and almost everyone else was happy and extroverted [this was when I was about 8/9]. I felt so outcast. Eventually my mum got rather fed up of her calling every couple of days, and I got sick to death of her kids' content-free conversation. They moved away and her kids moved schools, and we were free at last! We still rant about it 5 years later!

Wow, sorry, didn't mean to vent my spleen!

[AgentofGaming]

I was once a boy who would never shut up (so annoying my grandpa taped my mouth or so I'm told), questioned everything (led to mouth taping) and did not think of consequences (bad mouthed the house while parents tried to sell).

Now I'm an extreme introvert and extremely cautious.

[hfortenberry]

I was a pretty nice kid I think. In 6th grade, I remember starting and running a club of the kids in our neighborhood. I pretty much bossed them around and made all the decisions and they seemed to have no problems with it at all. We had a little band, built a clubhouse, played investigator, etc... When I was a child, I remember being very analytical. At 5, I wondering why I was in my body rather than another body.

I spent a lot of time alone reading or drawing. I didn't think I was different until my stepmom, who is a major extrovert started trying to "help" me during junior high by encouraging me to go to parties and "have some fun". I was so insulted and annoyed. I WAS having fun, on my own, thank you very much. As a child, I was told that I would "hide behind your father" when I would go with him to his work. I remember I didn't enjoy having to talk to his work folks. Thank goodness my Mom was very accepting. I didn't truly realize I was different until high school. People in school thought I was snobby. By my extroverted stepmom, I was also told that I was:

"too serious"
"too sensitive"
"couldn't take a joke/teasing"

She was right. But, now I don't think there is anything wrong with me.

My Mom always thought I was (am) very literal, unable to get teasing, too intense in conversations, like I am interrogating people, overwhelming them with questions.

As a child, I was pretty happy being a typical INTJ. But, when I got older, I started trying to fit in to society and doubted myself a lot. That wasn't too much fun. I always had one (rarely 2) best friend(s). I was never interested in any social events. I was quite athletic in individual sports such as swimming, track and field, gymnastics, hiking, etc.

[briancastellanos]

For me, I remember being in high school and I know I was an INTJ then too:

1) Math and science came easy to me. I loved calculus and physics. I would walk around picturing force diagrams on everything, and guessing how many newtons it took to move a bus, and how much force would be exerted on a wreck.
2) I was an elitist -- I wanted to be the best. I did what ever I could to out do everyone, and everyone knew it. They didn't like it.
3) I loved reading books like "A Brave New World" and wondering what life would be like if the world was a utopian society.
4) I never wanted to work in groups. And if I had to, I would do all the work just so the others would stay out of my way. Then we would turn it in and everyone would get credit, but I didn't care how others' freeloaded. All I cared about was having it done my way and what I saw as "perfection".
5) I loved piano. I took it up very easily, then moved into guitar. I just loved playing music. I loved waching my hands move like they had minds of their own.
6) I day dreamed alot -- mostly about the future. Where I would live, what I would drive, where I would work. When I was 16, I wanted to work at Apple Computers, as a software engineer. I wanted to live in Cupertino and Buy a house for $400k (a lot back then too). I was going to make $65k a year (average for a starting software engineer), and drive an infiniti. I found out what section of town i wanted to live in, what the weather was like ,where good places to eat were, where to shop, how much stuff cost..
I've always been big into planning out stuff like that.
7) I wasn't great with relationships. I didn't want to be a teenager that showed alot of hugging, kissing, flirting...seemed too immature - like thats what kids do. I wasn't a kid. I was intelligent, witty, and had my stuff together. I though of feelings simply as "chemical impulses".

[Sheepo]

When I was little, I used to talk non-stop; laughing at everything and was a very friendly kid. This was around the ages four and five, I guess. I wasn't shy at all, or so my parents said... I didn't really remember ><". I used to play a lot of make-belief, and actually I spent most of my times alone. I used to make stories in my mind with dolls and etc. I was actually very good at it too; I was very adventurous and curious. I was also very impulsive, determined and fearless.

Then came school, actually I had a lot of "Hi" friends, but was only close with a few. I still talked a lot though, and teachers used to hate me so much, because I wouldn't be paying attention in class. Instead, I'd be making fun of the guy that I liked and etc. Playing in class, and at lunch, I don't know why... I liked playing with the guys better than the girls, they only sang and dance to weird tribal-y songs .. so = =". Compared to most girls, I was really rash and crude... Actually I made a few girls cry, and such, even now I still remember over what. I felt bad afterwards though; I didn't realize i hurt her feelings and etc. This was around grade two or so. I guess i came on too strong for a few people, was really critical and didn't filter out my thoughts properly. I remembered I was really persistent too, but lazy about certains things that don't interest me.

Around grade four, I felt really lost; being in a new country and all. But then, making friends in grade four wasn't that hard. I kept a best friend throughout the year, but later on felt as though she was taking advantage of me. Though she still called for like a year or so, even though i didn't... After we lost contact. I was actually surprised at how shy I really was and wasn't really talkative in class.

Around junior high school or so, I started caring about my academics. I started studying and such, and got with the right group of people. Fun but really insightful people too. I was in a big group of friends ( according to me ), there were about 8 of us in total and we were all very close for that year. Then I started talking to my friend that I wasn't very close to in grade four. I eventually drifted away from the big group, since they were "popular" and I guess she wasn't. I had to make a choice (back then it felt that way), I guess, so i chose the one that made me feel most comfortable.

I kept that friendship until now. In grade eight, i became less extraverted and was a bit of an introvert. I didn't approach people, to simply put it like that.

In grade nine, I moved schools. It was a completely different environment, and it usually takes me a while to adapt. I was really cold to everyone, since I didn't know anyone from that school and all. I felt extremely uncomfortable, and was able to make friends only after the second semester. Anyhow, I wasn't a complete loner and made about 2 - 3 friends. They weren't very interesting I suppose, and wasn't very compatible with me, but I didn't really have a choice. So during this year, all my focus went to my academics and I realized how important they actually were.

After the second semester, I made quite a lot of friends. Well, people do usually approach me, but I didn't know how to respond since I wasn't comfortable with everything.

Now, I am comfortable with my environment... though it takes me an extremely long time. And i found a couple of people I'm interested in maintaining a friendship with.

I am still not really interested in the whole "boys" craze thing. That kind of ended ever since I started caring more about family, friends and school. Besides, my standards became unbelievably high. And i realized i'm too selfish to provide for another person, to trust them and to let them "in."

That's all :D
Have a nice day.

[csteinman]

I'm an INTP but...

I was good as a child. I didn't talk a lot, mostly keeping to myself. Never got into trouble.

When my mother divorced my father when i was 7 i accepted the fact even then that it was her decision and not mine, though it still affected me in a number of ways.

Once my mother moved out i was practically banished (okay, prevented) from [doing] any extra-cirricular activities or social involvement as my father wasn't the type to organize social-events for me. So, i spent most of the time by myself playing games and such.

I became very individualized around the age 12 where i became somewhat opinionative but truly just more questioning in a developed sense. I developed my own sense of style which really was my own. I wore and looked however i preferred and without much thought as to how others would percieve me; i really didn't care so much of what they thought on a matter so subjective as fashion. I'm still like this a great deal today (i'm 20), but in a way that is not so extreme as to draw attention since honestly that was the last thing i desired even then..., much in contrast to many-an-analysts... analysis, heh.

By 14 i became somewhat popular. I also became quite rebellious. I made a lot of friends, most of which were only acquaintances, but still what i'd describe as "close aquaintances." I had trouble fitting time in for all of my friends during the week. My father wouldn't transport me around town so i sometimes would have to walk miles to a friends house, even in the dead of winter (i'm from ohio). Of course if i wasn't up to it i wouldn't do it, but i almost always was.

At 14 i also became very experimental with drugs for a lot of reasons. reasons which i do not feel it's necessary to go into detail about. lets just say i was unsettled or confused, and had little parental direction to assist me in development.

At 17 i got into some trouble since my conscience was still undeveloped in some, perhaps many, ways. My punishment wasn't severe but simply the fact that i got into trouble motivated me to change (along with the fact i was watching my friends die or be thrown in prison at such young ages). I moved to live with my mother (also in ohio) and left my hometown and all of my friends behind my senior year. I lived in solitude in the basement at my mothers for well over a year, complating the matters of life itself in those ways which could be of use to me in some way, before i came to even any remote, personal conclusions.

Since then i have come to several life-changing realizations; great ones, which i only wish everyone could indulge in. However, i can only assume that most do not even take the time to weigh it all out (who has the time? especially in a capitolist society!). i mean s**t, it took me years and i've still only taken a few, though great, steps in the right direction.

Oh well, that's my short story and one account of the development of an INTP into an adult.

[Antares]

Ages 0-5 My mother told me that I look like I was thinking ever since I was born. I would look at the world with a curious but serious expression that they never could understand. I had the intensity of a philosopher as an infant, and they thought I'd be a loner in school for sure. In my toddler years, I was impatient, spoilt and hyper-sensitive. My mother jokingly told me that she would abandon me on the streets. I cried. I never did 'mix' well as a child in kindergarten, but I had one close friend. I don't know what she looks like now, but we had a strong bond and there's no way I would forget her.

Ages 6-7 I was dependent, unorganized and lacked discipline. I get failing grades at school and was often reprimanded for the poor quality of my work. I was egocentric. I had little concern for others and would often demand that my desk partner "remove your filthy elbow" from my desk. I acted impulsively and was inconsiderate.

Ages 8 - 10 I was hypersensitive and bullied in school. I was cautious when placing my trust in people and was easily manipulated. I had but one friend, and she is my best friend to this day. My grades are worse than ever and I treatd teachers like servants; not because they might be incompetent, but because I felt like it. Yes. I was obssessed with both Pokemon and Digimon :) Ah... The memories...

Ages 11 - 12 My best friend left earlier that year and I just had to pull myself together and find new friends. I managed a couple, and even went as far as calling some of them 'best friends', that is, until one backstabbed cruelly me online. I was vindictive and caused her to be suspended, my tattle-taling a by-product of my thirst for revenge. When I was 12, I met another one of my best friends (yes, I had quite a lot. stick with me) and we are still very close, even though she moved to another continent on a completely foreign side of the world. I had the misfortune to be called 'best friend' by an emotional wreck who uses her 'condition' as an excuse for stealing. I tried to shake her off, but she wouldn't leave me alone. So then, I was shamed by being seen with her every day. Even though others sympathize with her, I couldn't wait to get rid of her. My grades at the time was beginning to improve, and I had few close calls with Honor Roll.

Age 13 I successfully joined the orchestra I've auditioned for but was rejected. This time, I was invited, which inflated my ego quite a bit. My personality was beginning to settle down and I could see traces of INTJ forming already, although at that time I tested ENTJ on Tickle. This was the year when I met my first 'real' love interest which lasted two years and plagued me even today. I liked him immensely and dwelled on my fantasies and when my bubble was burst, I don't think I handled it well. I would spend days crying to myself in my sleep and I don't think I've recovered... Yet. I think it was this experience which completely brought me back to Earth and stop believing in Astrology, the compatibility in names and the concept of 'destiny'. My grades improved considerably and I've been on Honor Roll for all of 8th grade. My social life did the same and now I have about 15 friends whom I share a connection with and hundreds of acquaintances.

Age 14 My current age. I am now one of the top musicians in my school, one of the most knowledgeable individuals of among my peers and has many friends. I'm quite pleased with the way I turned out, really, because the bullies back in elementary school could have easily turned me into a depressed and antisocial person. I now consider myself as a fully developed INTJ :) Despite my numerous 'brushes' since my toddler years with violent and highly inappropiate films, I've never been affected and I'm glad to be 'clean', with no criminal records, no reliance on alchohol and a correct attitude about sex and violence.

In school, I'm good at subjects such as Mathematics (Algebra. I can't stand Geo), Science (Physics. I don't know about Chemistry and Biology), History (It's just a big long story that I memorize and take tests on. Easy enough), French and Music.

Now, I'm bad at English, which used to be my best subject. I can't say I'm entirely at fault 0___o But then even my current English teacher (who prides himself on failing me) admits that I'm an exceptional writer for my age and a good critic. I'm also bad at Physical Education and I want to drop it as soon as I can to rescue my GPA from its evil clutches, which isn't until I'm a Junior.

[Ace1337]

I was an active and smart child. I've done this test two years ago and it said ENTJ, but now I've done it again thinking about every question for minutes and it said INTJ. I think I was an ENTJ in my childhood, because I was always with other children playing all sorts of games, and I liked to lead whenever I could. I was the best pupil in my whole school in elementary school, I never studied at home, only in school, I had such a good memory that I didn't have to study at home. In highschool I had 17 subjects and ofcourse I didn't like them all, so I was getting A grades but wasn't the best in my class. I've always had a huge amount of general knowledge and to this day I haven't met anyone except my dad that can match it. I really need to go to a TV quiz to make that into money. :)

[Antares]

I was an active and smart child. I've done this test two years ago and it said ENTJ, but now I've done it again thinking about every question for minutes and it said INTJ. I think I was an ENTJ in my childhood, because I was always with other children playing all sorts of games, and I liked to lead whenever I could. I was the best pupil in my whole school in elementary school, I never studied at home, only in school, I had such a good memory that I didn't have to study at home. In highschool I had 17 subjects and ofcourse I didn't like them all, so I was getting A grades but wasn't the best in my class. I've always had a huge amount of general knowledge and to this day I haven't met anyone except my dad that can match it. I really need to go to a TV quiz to make that into money. :)

:o Good idea... Us knowledgeable INTJ's should all go into game shows :)

[Caramel]

Not all into the same one though, cause then we'd be competing against each other!

I was a arrogant little know it all as a child. I would talk back to anyone, no matter their age, and make a lot of sarcastic witty comments. And I wouldn't understand when some other person didn't understand a subject that was "soooooo easy" and then rub it in their face.

:(

[Antares]

Not all into the same one though, cause then we'd be competing against each other!

I was a arrogant little know it all as a child. I would talk back to anyone, no matter their age, and make a lot of sarcastic witty comments. And I wouldn't understand when some other person didn't understand a subject that was "soooooo easy" and then rub it in their face.

:(

Haha. Mean! I really enjoy the look on their faces when incompetent individuals pretend to be competent then fail miserably. Then I come to the rescue and pull the project together :laugh:

[Sylvanus]

I was an active and smart child. I've done this test two years ago and it said ENTJ, but now I've done it again thinking about every question for minutes and it said INTJ. I think I was an ENTJ in my childhood, because I was always with other children playing all sorts of games, and I liked to lead whenever I could. I was the best pupil in my whole school in elementary school, I never studied at home, only in school, I had such a good memory that I didn't have to study at home. In highschool I had 17 subjects and ofcourse I didn't like them all, so I was getting A grades but wasn't the best in my class. I've always had a huge amount of general knowledge and to this day I haven't met anyone except my dad that can match it. I really need to go to a TV quiz to make that into money. :)

Just because you like(d) being around other people doesn't mean you aren't (weren't) and introvert. My wife is one of the most friendly people I know, she will talk your ear off if you let her, but after she's done she needs time to herself to recharge. I's tend not to be as sociable as E's, but the defining difference is if other people suck your energy out of you (I) or if they give it back (E).

[jshiff]

Im 18, in school i was a quiet person. I loved school, except in elementary school. I loved it because i could obvserve people, I was always interested in what they did or what they were doing. In elementary school i was a bully/class clown. I was almost always finding a humor in something even if it was to be making fun of them. In middle school my class clown started to fade and i was more of into making fun of people for laughs with my friends.In High school i became A LOT more reserve and A LOT more mature, I was pretty reserve through my elementary-middle school days but in high school i became really reserved. I wouldnt say much, and i didn't initiated converstations much and I would usually only answer if people asked me stuff. I almost think i turned into an INTJ through my middle school period.

Throughout my elementary-high school experience I had a small amount of friends, but they were very good friends who i still know today. Come to think of it, the ones i talk to the most are the ones that I met or were in elementary school with. During my high school career i never got into a fight or had people who hated me. I was basically just there, they didnt hate or really had much interest in me. I hung out with my friends, i have about 2 INTJ friends and the rest are EXXX i think. They are very outgoing and do crazy stuff.

In School I was not good at reading. My mind is always wondering off. I was never fond of reading books but i do very much enjoy magazines. In reading I couldnt read the passage and do the questions, it was the opposite. I could only read the questions and go through the passage looking for the answers. i am good at writing skills and math.

[Volition]

1. They have vivid imaginations
2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?"
3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groups
4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike quality
5. They enjoy art and music
6. They love books, and especially enjoy fiction
7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situation
8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings
9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned events
10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sports
11. They are perfectionists
12. They're serious and intense
13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friends
14. They are original and independent, and value their uniqueness
15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them

Wow. That lists resonates with me.

I was quite a serious child, quite prepared to tell my elder cousins that the games they came up for us 'kiddies' were as pathetic as they were. I never set out to be rude- I was always polite and considerate- I just couldn't help getting overwhelmed by any stupidity I saw. I never really gained any meaningful relationships until later on in my life. That may have been because I kept changing schools and therefore couldn't 'settle'. Either way, I was very quiet and diminuitive at the start, something other wannabe brutes interpreted as weakness and therefore a sign to make my life quite difficult, which seriously exacerbated my shyness problem.

It was at my second school, which I attended around 6-8 years old, that I suppose the more assertive facet of a fledgling INTJ in me started to show. Yep, it was at this school that I can pinpoint many INTJ qualities. My schoolwork would suffer every now and then because the subject was so drab or I would retreat into a dreamworld too readily. I was fascinated with books and my reading and vocabulary level were several years ahead of that expected for my age. I started to stick up for myself and my opinions with gusto and perseverance I myself never saw coming. I even had the occasional scrap with some of the boys because they were so very asinine. To this day, I have no idea what prompted the change in me.

At home I was quite isolated. Mum would be busy, Dad was always at work and I couldn't really play with my brother. That was okay, as my imagination would let me play with dolls for hours on end. Yep, I loved those, except the scenarios I invented were far more action-based- I was the girl who bemoaned the fact that Action Man had far better accessories/cars/anything than any Disney doll ever would (hated Barbie). Even now, I can easily occupy myself.

Throughout the rest of my school life, I've never had more than a few core friends. It didn't help that at my new school, aged 11, I pissed off a few (popular) people right off the bat for various inadequacies which really, really irritated me. Yeah, then I pissed off some of my friends when I kept trying to advise them on how to read and pronounce words properly. They thought it was 'slack'. I thought it was pathetic that at the age of 15/16, their literacy levels were still lacking. Anyway, I was always the kind of person at the side, never at the centre I things. Most couldn't relate to me- I rarely 'opened up', was far too technical at the worst moments and was generally unpredictable. On the one had I'd developed some surface conformity, yet my INTJ personality would get its oar in.

In spite of any social difficulties, I enjoyed the years at secondary school (age 11-18). My teachers were inspiring, knew what they were talking about and didn't talk down to us. I discovered my love for English literature, languages, geography and physics. I discovered that I wasn't actually that bad at Maths or Art. I felt more comfortable in my own skin, finding compatible if not ideal people to hang out with. In my spare time, I found out videogames were worthwhile, started reading about political philosophy and so on.

[spiritdetectivegirl]

I was a socially awkward, manipulative little introvert. I only ever wanted to talk about what I was learning or what I could learn, or abstract thoughts I had. I daydreamed a lot and constantly read.

I never played with dolls, only toy animals, and then I would make up some epic story in my head and follow it through. I never had friends over, which my parents thought was weird. In fact, when my parents found out that I never played at recess, only read, they sent a note to my teacher telling her that I wasn't allowed to read at recess- something about "retarding my social development." I read anyway.

As a teen, I've opened up a little- I'm still strongly introverted, but I can function decently in social situations. I get disoriented in large groups, but in small groups I have a very forceful personality. I'm still too blunt, though. I say things I probably shouldn't and take a long time to realize that I offended people. If you get to know me, though, I'm helpful and nice, but sarcastic and not very empathetic.

I often feel like an outcast, though. I have a facade I put on around some other people, so I'm very often misunderstood. The only person who I can truly talk to is my dad, who is an INTJ too- so not always that helpful.


Ha, sounds like you an I are in the same boat when it comes to having someone tro talk too. I love my mother but she's such a girly girl, my dad is an INTJ and he get's me, I don't feel presured to talk or act unlike myself when around him. I do feel to act girly or ect., because my mom and grandmother practicly condeemed me from liking anything else, but I was very sneaky and creative in showing my myself regardless. Like my love of dinosaurs, Jarassic Park was my favortie movie threw-out my childhood. Allen Grant was my hero, Valosorapters were my favorite. I loved animals, especially crocodiles, tigers, sharks and what-not, you know, the ones that could eat you. I loved reading, and science. I also related better to boys than girls, it's been like that for as long as I can remember. I can't stand women sometimes. Too, touchy feely.

[bookwormuk]

I was really, really quiet as a child, my perfect day would be hiding with my cat and a book as I used to read all the time. School was torture for me, I hated being there, especially with other children who I felt were just savages. I was bullied endlessly until I was 15. The teachers used to threaten to punish the whole class because of the bad behaviour and I used to worry myself silly about being punished unjustly.

I think that it was because I hated school so much that I didn't do very well and my introversion meant that the teachers just ignored me - one actually laughed when I said that I wanted to do A levels which was nice of her. It wasn't until I went to 6th form college at 16 that I realised my potential and finally came out of my shell, achieving two degrees.

Like other INTJ's I have no desire to revisit my childhood :)

[outrider]

I was really, really quiet as a child, my perfect day would be hiding with my cat and a book as I used to read all the time. School was torture for me, I hated being there, especially with other children who I felt were just savages. I was bullied endlessly until I was 15. The teachers used to threaten to punish the whole class because of the bad behaviour and I used to worry myself silly about being punished unjustly.

This rings true with me. When I was 13, I begged my parents to let me drop out of high school and just take the GED (25 years later, they still don't understand that I was deadly serious).

[bookwormuk]

This rings true with me. When I was 13, I begged my parents to let me drop out of high school and just take the GED (25 years later, they still don't understand that I was deadly serious).

Yup! My parents often worried that I wasn't 'social' enough, so they put me in situations where I had to mix with other children, and were acutely embarrassed when I used to tell them after 20 minutes that it was time for them to go home ;)

[spiritdetectivegirl]

I was really, really quiet as a child, my perfect day would be hiding with my cat and a book as I used to read all the time. School was torture for me, I hated being there, especially with other children who I felt were just savages. I was bullied endlessly until I was 15. The teachers used to threaten to punish the whole class because of the bad behaviour and I used to worry myself silly about being punished unjustly.

I think that it was because I hated school so much that I didn't do very well and my introversion meant that the teachers just ignored me - one actually laughed when I said that I wanted to do A levels which was nice of her. It wasn't until I went to 6th form college at 16 that I realised my potential and finally came out of my shell, achieving two degrees.

Like other INTJ's I have no desire to revisit my childhood :)


It was reading into my own childhood, we intj's lead a charmed life do we not?

[outrider]

Yup! My parents often worried that I wasn't 'social' enough, so they put me in situations where I had to mix with other children, and were acutely embarrassed when I used to tell them after 20 minutes that it was time for them to go home ;)

My mother especially adores team sports, thought Girl Scouts and church youth groups were fine activities, and didn't understand why I hated marching band even though I was quite a serious musician.

I was a disappointment to her, I'm afraid. I think I still am, even though I function in society fairly well, albeit with a few quirks and oddball interests.

One of my sisters is now a parent with two small children. I'm not sure about the younger (one year old is a little early to tell), but the older seems to be EN?P. We'll see what we have in a year or two. Though I'm not a parent myself, I'm always on the lookout for the small aliens among us.

[pinkroger]

Ehem...as an INTJ "teenager" myself (college student), I can say that we are not always bookworms or nerds. No, we don't all have Asperger's. However, we do scare our peers with our apparent lack of emotions and frightening minds, as well as the depth of our emotions when they are displayed. I can remember staying in one mood for weeks on end, and this scared people to the point that they wouldn't talk with me, because they thought if they did, I would shoot them (which was a distinct possibility). I am not proud of this, but it's valuable information.

I also remember how I hate(d) stupid people, so I would just deconstruct their thoughts. I contrast, I am now mellow, as I think most "adult" INTJ's are.

[DrEast]

Never volunteer an INTJ child for anything without consulting them first. They will feel upset and violated, especially if they already had plans in place for that time slot. Parents do this all the time with INTJ children "for their own good" and then get into flaming rows with them, or wonder why they seem even more withdrawn afterwards.

Do not force an INTJ to have fun. It won't work, and they will hate you for trying.

[bookwormuk]

Parents do this all the time with INTJ children "for their own good" and then get into flaming rows with them, or wonder why they seem even more withdrawn afterwards.

Very good point, I remember clearly as a 6 year old of Mum organising having a "friend" come round after school. Naturally I wanted alone time, but ended up getting really upset when the girl in question tried to play dolls with me (I cannot stand dolls to this day) and then started to mistreat my books.

It is funny that even at that young age INTJ traits appear - and often parents try to resolve them.

[TheLastMohican]

It is funny that even at that young age INTJ traits appear - and often parents try to resolve them.

As if INTJ traits are things to be "resolved."

[bookwormuk]

As if INTJ traits are things to be "resolved."
Lol, exactly being forced into an extrovertism "you are cured!!!"

[Universe]

Hmm as a child I was quiet, shy, strategic, smart, a perfectionist and well behaved. Despite being shy kids still made friends with me. But I secretly had different interests than all the other kids and I secretly hated A LOT of people. I was definetally more "feeling" and insecure than I am now.

And now as a teenager I still don't like most people especially your average stereotypical teenager who thinks they know it all who only cares about theirself and having fun. I'm definetaly more... intellectual than the other kids and I still like different things, but now I'm pretty unemotional. I'm more confident too.

[sriv]

My INTJ switch really hit at age 14. I started developing an extremely cynical view of the world combined with growing insensitivity and repression of emotions and feelings. The benefits were that, like Universe, I became more confident, self-assured my goals in life, and found new meaning in my personality.

[Uberfuhrer]

Infancy:

Like most people, I don't remember my infancy and get the information from my parents. When I was young, I never liked being held, I was a late talker and a late walker but with rapid catchup soon after. I also had obsessions with objects and I was highly sensitive to loud noises, such as vacuum cleaners and automatic hand dryers.

Childhood:

I never really had friends -- I mostly was in my own fantasy world and playing games by myself. My free time consisted of such play, video games, and watching movies. I rarely got good grades in school, although behavior-wise, I was reasonably obedient.

Teenage:

Still engaged in fantasy-oriented endeavors, which I pursued alone. I interacted with peers in school, but I never interacted with anyone outside of school. This was the stage of growing up where I started provoking others with ideas. Again, I never did very well in school, although I pursued my own intellectual hobbies of my own -- topics such as film, roller coasters, computers, WWII history, etc. I just never liked doing homework -- although I had a tendency to ace exams. Unfortunately, in high school, homework assignments were graded and counted for more than tests.

It was around this stage where I started being considered a behavioral problem by the school faculty. I enjoyed antagonizing others just for fun and making inappropriate comments to get reactions or which stemmed from insecurities. But regardless, it was a hobby of mine to shock others. It was pretty much what caused me to be in special ed programs.

In phys ed classes, I was the one who was last to be picked on a team. Never liked phys ed. I also became insecure when people made fun of the odd way I ran. And I became more afraid of even going to gym class for that reason. I didn't really like being made fun of. When I was alone, I crafted vengeful fantasies in my mind and wrote revenge stories that placed the protagonist getting revenge on those who had wronged him. I think the mockery I experienced in phys ed is what caused me to become even more closed off.

[buddingscholar]

I'm in my late teens, and the other night I went out to a movie with a few friends and went out to dinner afterwards. I felt like I was living la vida loca. Enough said.

[Haphazard]

Still in mid teenager-dom.

I can get very moody and it's extremely frustrating because I don't know what to do with myself. Also, while I'm usually on good terms with authority, I can get into deep trouble if I disagree. I'm very concerned about grades but that's probably because my parents have put emphasis on them that no grades, no college, and I really want to get out of state. Grades are a means to an end.

I'm usually very quiet until I can speak with certainty -- I've always been like this. Parents and teachers and friends usually think that if I don't talk about something that I'm not thinking about it, but really, that's not true.

I've never been able to do things by half measures. I have two settings -- off and overdrive. This can be difficult for people to understand. I'll throw my heart and soul into something if I want to do it, but it's a chore if I don't.

Oh, Phys Ed... I could never run, but I could never convince people that there was anything wrong with me that should hold me back except for that I'm fat, which apparently doesn't count for anything. Burns and pains would hold me back more than jeers. It's not that I hate physical activity at all it's that I can hardly ever find a reason to sustain the pains.

I've always believed that being a provocateur was wrong and at the most annoying, but relatively harmless. Nonetheless, I kept (and keep) getting crap for being one because sometimes I'll misjudge and say what I'm actually thinking. I've learned that most of the times, my thoughts are not welcome and therefore it's a good idea to keep them to myself unless I really want an argument. Provoking people for provoking's sake is boring, but I've always loved to argue.

[outrider]

I'm in my late teens, and the other night I went out to a movie with a few friends and went out to dinner afterwards. I felt like I was living la vida loca. Enough said.

I'm now in my 30s... went out with my boyfriend to listen to chamber music last night then out for a glass of wine and a snack. The concert was amazing (THREE standing ovations and encores) so we were excited and wide awake even though we'd both worked a long week. We got home close to 1AM and felt quite decadent.

He is ISFP and thus much better at "fun" than I am, but as you can see, our idea of "wild" is kinda tame (not that we care about anyone else's definition of "fun" - we know that we are having it, and that is what is important).

But when I was your age it would have been a serious challenge to find a companion willing to accompany me on such an adventure.





outrider added to this post, 3 minutes and 15 seconds later...

Never volunteer an INTJ child for anything without consulting them first. They will feel upset and violated, especially if they already had plans in place for that time slot.

Agreed. I still have that knack for amusing myself.

Do not force an INTJ to have fun. It won't work, and they will hate you for trying.

See above.:cool:

[Richard0612]

Here's an anecdote that sums up my primary school life [currently 15]:

I was on the 'student council' in Yr5 [not sure what that translates to in the US, grade 5?] Put simply, it was run more bureaucratically that Parliament! Everything came back to not hurting people's feelings and nothing was ever done for fear of 'upsetting people' and causing 'radical change to the social structure'. Needless to say, I didn't reapply next year.

Oh, and I agree with not forcing an INTJ to have fun. It won't work and will likely get you exterminated.

[suzyk]

Looking at one right now.

I tend to be lazy, but I was voted Student Representative, the most boring job ever. I'm quiet, sarcastic like a knife cutting through flesh and independent. But mostly lazy.

[bluenote]

Growing up I always loved to read and would always been in the library reading book after book in logical order. So at recess time I was always the only kid in the library till I was kicked out. Up to this day at age 25 I love spending time by myself and learning new things. If I don’t get alone time I’m like a nuclear bomb anything is liable to set me off. But INJT kids are usually the really quiet kids.

[quest ion]

I rarely show my emotions, even toward my family. I've only started to realise this last year. It did felt awkward, this sudden realisation, but I realise can't do anything as well. It's just natural and I wasn't 'acting cool' or anything.
Among my friends I'm known to be someone who doesn't like 'friendship politics', bitching, gossips. I find them useless. But they all think I'm trying to act diffiferent. It kinda fustrates me everytime they try to make me believe that I'm just like one of them. I know I'm a girl but that doesn't mean I like to talk about pointless stuff? No offence here though.

Between the age of 13 to 16, I was a complete nerd. Did triple science and was always top 10% in the cohort and didn't bothered about anything else other than my academics. Also, I cringe whenever I see photos of how I looked like then. :P

Things changed when I turned 17 when I did horribly in school. I believed it was bad planning. I was involved in too many activites in school, I neglected my studies. I really regretted it cos I didn't do as well for my As.

i'm 18 now and really still in the midst of finding myself. I guess I couldn't really show my INTJ personality when I'm with my friends. I guess I'm always finding ways to fit in, because I just can't be bothered to explain for my behaviour. They'll think it's a joke anyway. Sad huh. None of them are INTJs. They don't understand.

I love to read too. I'll rather spend my weekends alone in the library reading national geographic or any other books then hang out with friends. I love spending time alone.

[Nanashi]

In fact, when my parents found out that I never played at recess, only read, they sent a note to my teacher telling her that I wasn't allowed to read at recess- something about "retarding my social development." I read anyway.



I had periods during elementary school where I would read for up to 12 hours a day. Sometimes I would play outside, but sometimes I'd do the 12-hour crunched up against a wall bookworm thing. My mother indulged me sometimes, but a few times forced me to go outside into the sunshine when I didn't want to play. I soon discovered I could sneak a book out with me if I was careful. My exasperated little brother wanted desperately to play with me. Mom overheard him bemoaning the fact that I would just read outside. The game was up.

[EsoteriEccentri]

I heard that INTJ teenagers are rather like ISTJs, except more critical, angsty and "outcast."
I heard that they can be quite judgmental, and intolerant of F types and other people they feel superior to when they are in their teens, but that they sort of grow out of it...

I've also heard that they will embrace "strange" things, the dark side, obscure fashions and such. Or else, they will spend their entire day in a book or on the internet at the cost of their social life and hobbies. Heh. I do the same. ^^

Does any of that sound familiar? These are only things that I have heard about INTJ teenagers. I've no idea of INTJs as children.

[enfpchick]

My INTJ friends in high school were DIFFERENT. At first they seems reserved and even cool, I thought it was weird that they were so serious for teens. They did not interact so much with the other students and my school was small. Only about 100 students. They would always watch me and my friends but stay back and watch before even getting into the conversation. I would always make the first move and go over and introduce myself even if they did look at me like i was loco. But we would get to know one another and become good friends ( i even developed a crush on one)

Once you got to know them they were sooooooooo much FUN to hang out with.

[sriv]

Without people making the first move, I would have no friends. This is probably an I thing.

[ChfMojoRising]

I self studied and played possibly unhealthy amounts of video games~ watched unhealthy amounts of movies and read college text books when everyone else was just getting off of cat in the hat lol (could start to read by age 3 thanks to a very diligent mother... and the only video game she'd let me play at that age~ Wheel of Fortune, Nintendo)

Now that I'm 24... nothing has changed except swap text books for internet + w/e I find at Borders. Geez~ guess I haven't really grew up much. Instead I just took the things I did as a kid and turned "enjoying them" into critical analysis and applicable theory... I guess that's good enough for now ^^

p.s. ~ of course, I still enjoy the games and movies. more than anything, really.

[Lynne]

1-Liked to do things I was told not to just to see what would happen, like putting my finger on the lasagna pan when it was at 400 degrees. The only thing that kept me from putting my finger in the light socket was the memory of the burn from said lasagna pan.
2-Was not affectionate (complaint from mother)
3-As soon as I discovered I could read, didn't stop
4-Didn't care who someone was; if I disagreed with them, I let them know
5-Nickname was space cadet
6-Questioned God-"oh yeah, does God know I'm going to do this?"...jump on crack
7-Cried because my mother LIED to me about Santa Claus
8-Could never understand why I couldn't be Hans Solo, why did I have to be Princess Leah (sp.) just because I was a girl?
9-Didn't hear my name being called (right next to me)
10-Fantasized that I was really adopted and my real parents would come any day and get me

[sriv]

10-Fantasized that I was really adopted and my real parents would come any day and get me

Ouch. At 7 I asked my parents if I was adopted. They said no, but I did not believe them for a little while until I saw the birth certificate. Lol, born skeptic.

[Danneh]

INTP, so not your desired polling audience. But this is what I was like as a child and teenager.

As a child I preferred to be alone, and I got a reputation as a Manipulator, Recluse and as a Violent Child.
The recluse I deserved because I spent my afterschool hours in the towns public library alone, or wandering around the golf course alone, or in my bedroom reading alone. I used to do a lot of things alone because in primary school I never had any friends. I did of course have people who hung around during class because I could make them laugh, or they wanted to pick on me, but maybe because they never understood me or I them I only saw them as tools to be used and from there I got the reputation of a manipulator.

I did NOT deserve the reputation of a violent child though, I got that because I never understood roughhousing, still dont really. When I see a fight I think only of the bodies weakspots and where to put the most pressure for the best result (winning no matter the cost), but most of the time I didnt enter fights because I was either scared of punishment or myself, or I thought that the kids were just "roughhousing" and I never saw the bullying for what it was. I got the violent reputation from that because occasionally I'd try and join in a game of "mugby" by knocking a guy down and punching (what they were doing, but feigning), or from being cheated in a game where the other person would get away with something so I'd punch and run off to a library.

Early on, and the few times I have had friends close enough to actually open up to i'd be the highly creative inventor of worlds or of games and of cubby houses. My creativity was pretty damn good and with.. shit this is depressing... with my under 10 friends in my life we'd trapeze off into the bush or a treehouse to create worlds or games.

Oh, and apparently I went on a car trip with my grandfather in Cloncurry once from a town to another town and I was constantly asking questions like why this, how that, what that, and he was answering every one of these patiently with both the why what how, but also with how i could find out more. extremely curious

As a teenager I think I only had four friends; Daniel Moore, Jared Dobbie, Alex from St Francis College, and Shaun Case. I was even more of a shut in then, but I was starting to see the bullying early and would preemptively strike at the cunts fast and vicious in the throat or eyes, and that'd be it for the year. Reputation as Violent, but left alone to read in peace without interference. I was still creative but I since i moved all the time I only ever had one friend at any one place so the chances to create alongside someone was diminished. Again i was Reclusive and Creative, but this time I at least had the chance to talk with bishops or intelligent priests(one of whom is now Bishop of North Queensland) about my ideas or poetry or art. I did overreact a lot as a teenager too.

Sometimes I'd like to go back and punch some sense into me. Thank fuck I've matured. They are not particularly good memories.

INTP Childhood:
Reclusive
Over reactive to childhood stresses
Misunderstanding of Society
Creative
Constant Bibliophile.

INTP Adolescence:
Reclusive (with attempts at social gatherings)
Internally over reactive of stresses
Misunderstanding of society through to disappointed understanding of society
Creative
Constant Bibliophile.

That describes me better, especially the violence thing. My friends take martial arts (She's a black belt now, and the other a blue) and I can beat them easily, just because I'm more knowledgeable about the weak spots in the body, and I'm willing to risk a hell of a lot more to win.
People that attempt to hurt me, whether I think it physically or emotionally, often find themselves on the ground from pressure points, if their male at least. I can't hurt girls, I suppose that's because I got bullied so much as a kid for being a girl.

[Taberculosis]

-As a baby I never let anyone hold me. Except for my father.
-I've always had an oral fixation. I chewed on window sills (yes... lots of lead paint) and all of my playpens. (I still bite my nails)
-I never listened. I did what I wanted.
-As a child I always had one friend.
-I opened up in high school. I had about 5 BFF's.



In high school I brought my mom to tears because I got her to open up about how she feels like a bad parent because her and I are not close and that I'm not affectionate. I guess we do not have the typical mother-daughter relationship.

[fuzein]

As a teenager I always enjoyed being alone. That's where I felt at most peace. I mostly read but sometimes would just think and analyze life and the people around me.

[schwartzie]

Well back in pre-school, I remember I never spoke a word at all. Only nodded, shook my head and smiled. I never cried either. The only time I spoke a word throughout the two years in pre-school.. It was raining, I slipped over on the grass and landed face first in the mud. My whole body was drenched with dirt and mud.. I remember walking towards the class and where all the children had gathered and hearing one of the other kids saying to the teacher.. "MISS! I got mud on my knees".. and you could imagine me stumbling over quietly, covered from head to toe in mud and uttering my first two words to the teacher. "Me too".. Ah the good days lol.

Oh and they changed the whole fence around the pre-school as well.. due to me being an idiot. Don't know why I did it. But one day I just decided to go home in the middle of school. So I grabbed my bag, put my feet where the squares were in the fence and climbed over it. Started walking home, I remembered the roads from how my folks used to take me to school. So I knew my best bet was to get to the highway and follow it. That I did, luckily a family stopped by and asked me where I was going. I said "home", they told me they'd take me but I refused. By the way I am only about 4 to 5 years old at this time. Eventually they left, but came back 10 minutes later. They kept watching me, they then called the cops and they ended up rocking up LOL! and big hassle after that. I remember my mum yelling the shit out of me in the car with my cousins who had finished school (at the same school, just they were in higher grades). I just sat there with my head down. Hehe :laugh:

*belatedly*... aTo view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. nice story. it would be interesting to know what prompted you to take matters confidently in hand ...

[vad1981]

1) Was a nerd / book worm, at the same time curious about everything else around as well

2) Skipped 2 grades, tested 140+ on IQ test, 1500+ on SAT's

3) Liked "alone" sports like cycling, freaked out my parents by going hiking in the woods alone at age 7, almost drowned in a frozen lake age 8

4) Secretly lusted after girls as a teenager

5) First kiss was was from another INTJ (girl), only real love is an isfj though





vad1981 added to this post, 3 minutes and 15 seconds later...

Oh yeah also...teachers complained I never paid attention in school or did my homework on time...also nicknamed "space cadet" ! Also was very good in Karate for the 1 year I took it, I could usually see the attackes coming before they happened (hard to surprise).

[azelismia]

Firelie my experience was similar to yours in teenage years although I was the leader because I was always coming up with things to do and the group was endlessly bored. It got to be an inner joke with myself to see just how far I could push them because they'd do anything I wanted. long treks in the rain. Bus ride expeditions that were entirely random and often ended in having to call someone's parents b/c it was late and we weren't sure how to get back again and were a good 40 miles from home.

Other than that brief stint, my childhood was marked by reading lots of books and being deep in thought. When I was 12 I learned that if I stared out the window while thinking I'd get lectured for ignoring the lecture but if I stared at the teacher while being deep in thought they'd think I was paying rapt attention, when really, I was in my own world.
That did backfire though, as I learned later when my parents said they'd got a phone call b/c the teacher was concerned about my crush on him. They thought it was extremely funny when I explained my strategy.


I did not come from a wealthy home so I couldn't be sent to a private school, the public school I went to was a joke and provided no challenge so I dropped out as I didn't believe I was gaining anything by being there and my precious teenage years were being wasted by Math teachers who don't teach math but instead teach only the intricate details of their gun collection. I usually had the text books read in entirety by the second day of class.

The decision to drop out really worried my mother but I got my GED the first time thru without studying and managed to go on to college without any effort whatsoever, so I think I did the right thing.

[schwartzie]

... the public school I went to was a joke and provided no challenge so I dropped out as I didn't believe I was gaining anything by being there ...

The decision to drop out really worried my mother but I got my GED the first time thru without studying and managed to go on to college without any effort whatsoever, so I think I did the right thing.

Azelismia, same experience here--high school drop out; and later, a dash through to a doctorate. Unfortunately, after I "dropped," life was more entertaining, but not real productive, as my need for challenge was still not addressed. Mostly I learned lessons along the lines of "yuck, I do not want to be a [insert dreadful job title] for the rest of my life."

I've always thought it would be fun to have something like a peace corp for bright young adults 16-25 or so, for whom conventional education is deadening, and who could do productive work as, basically, interns in public service, in order to figure out what they like.
What did you do after you "dropped?"

[azelismia]

unfortunately nothing particularly productive. I got married, went to college. studied archaeology but then realized that I wasn't going to go anywhere in that direction either; that I wasn't willing to live in a tent for no money and I'd never get any of the spoils of the hunt. So I dropped out of that too and never really found another calling. we dealt in real estate a bit, bought fixers, fixed em and flipped em. I dealt antiques. Then got a divorce and started working as a buyer. I am learning how to program now. none of the things that really call to me seem feasible so I have a hard time chasing them. *shrug* motivation has always been hard for me to come by because every time I see something (mentally, not necessarily physically) to it's natural conclusion, the conclusion isn't good enough.

[Caramel]

3-As soon as I discovered I could read, didn't stop
4-Didn't care who someone was; if I disagreed with them, I let them know
7-Cried because my mother LIED to me about Santa Claus
8-Could never understand why I couldn't be Hans Solo, why did I have to be Princess Leah (sp.) just because I was a girl?
9-Didn't hear my name being called (right next to me)
10-Fantasized that I was really adopted and my real parents would come any day and get me

:laugh: I had the exact same things!

7 --> I got so angry at my parents when they told me Santa Claus doesn't exist. I asked how they could have lied to me all those years, and how they could agree with the world decieving young people just because they are young people and thus don't understand the world that well yet. Then I called them lousy parents.

8 --> I always got to play the 'guy' when my friends and I replayed movies, cause I was the boyish girl and they were more girlish girls. We never played starwars though, we sticked to disney movies.

10 -->Had this too. Maybe this is because we are so very different from our parents?

---
Were you guys also extremely obsessive about things when you were younger? I was obsessed with:
- mermaids - age 3-6?
- wild animals (predators mainly, snakes eating mice, lions hunting a zebra) - age 6-10
- the weather (lightning, tornado's, earthquakes) - age 7-10
- (molecular) biology (genetics, forsensics) - age 9-now
- computers - age 10-now
- fantasy/horror stories (vampires, werewolves..) - age 10 to 13
- Pokémon - age 13 to 16
- Philosophy - age 15-now (actually since age 3, but then I didn't enjoy it because people around me responded negatively to questioning life and seeking knowledge)
- Physics - age 15-17
- Molecular biology part 2 - age 17-18 (start of university, new source of information, yay!)
- World of Warcraft - age 18-20
- Psychology - age 20-21

And now nothing, age 22. And you know, it actually feels 'empty' having nothing to obsess about. University is over. Work is enjoyable, paychecks are nice (lol) but.. give me something new to master! Anything! I need it, otherwise I get bored/annoyed/see no reason to even get out of bed.
New blooming interests:
Electronics (I recently found a book on building a radio; its a start..)
Science-fiction (books ^_^)
Can't you guys give me a subject to obsess about? Please? ;)

[DrEast]

Azelismia, same experience here--high school drop out; and later, a dash through to a doctorate.

The public schooling system has been usurped by SJ's. It's more a social engineering program than a learning experience at this point.

(This has intensely frustrated my roommate, an INFP, who wanted to teach and discovered that public schooling is now a bureaucratic breeding ground where actual teaching is intensely discouraged.)

[Richard0612]

Can't you guys give me a subject to obsess about? Please? ;)

I'll try...
Here are some things that I have been extremely interested in:


The Halo universe [and no, that doesn't mean just the games!]
Video game physics
Time travel
Doctor Who
MBTI [duh!]

[Grizzly]

pretty typical by the looks of the other posts.

Fairly shy, book orientated, few friends.
Did the all black, "nobody loves me, the world is a never ending pit of agony" thing for a long time as a teenager, which was what my parents scolded me for the most.

Other than that I used to fight constantly with my classmates and used to get suspended quite a bit, at least once twice a semester. But that calmed down after highschool.

Overall I would say my entire situation improved after highschool (i.e. I now have a multicolored wardrobe)

[schwartzie]

And now nothing, age 22. And you know, it actually feels 'empty' having nothing to obsess about. University is over. Work is enjoyable, paychecks are nice (lol) but.. give me something new to master! Anything! I need it, otherwise I get bored/annoyed/see no reason to even get out of bed.
New blooming interests:
Electronics (I recently found a book on building a radio; its a start..)
Science-fiction (books ^_^)
Can't you guys give me a subject to obsess about? Please? ;)

Life can be sweet if your work--where most of us spend huge gobs of our time--can be an area in which you can focus your obsessive tendencies. I recall reading that a very high percentage of "professionals," especially those with grueling internships, like MDs, have obsessive tendencies. They succeed in part because they channel their weirdness in a favorable way.
What's your job, and what do you most and least enjoy about it? What do you want to be doing in 10 years?





schwartzie added to this post, 6 minutes and 16 seconds later...

pretty typical by the looks of the other posts.

... I would say my entire situation improved after highschool (i.e. I now have a multicolored wardrobe)

Multi-coloring yourself is a good sign!! Even your avatar sports red....

[DrEast]

And now nothing, age 22. And you know, it actually feels 'empty' having nothing to obsess about. University is over. Work is enjoyable, paychecks are nice (lol) but.. give me something new to master! Anything! I need it, otherwise I get bored/annoyed/see no reason to even get out of bed.
New blooming interests:
Electronics (I recently found a book on building a radio; its a start..)
Science-fiction (books ^_^)
Can't you guys give me a subject to obsess about? Please? ;)

Looks like you left Magic: The Gathering out of that list. Give it a shot and kiss that paycheck goodbye.

For a cheaper alternative, try wikipedia surfing and see what catches your eye. Maybe the 'pedia itself will suck you in and never let you go.

All that information... soooo pretty...

[thecraig]

I am the oldest of four and the only male. There is only five years seperating me from my youngest sister. Both of my parents are introverts. Because I was the only boy and my parents are both introverts themselves (ISTJ father and ISFJ mother) they never gave me any greif over my solo activities. My mother however, never understood how "private" I have always been. She alway felt that was "holding it all in" and she never felt like she "knew what was going on in my life". I think she understands now that it is just the way I am but she still does not like that I don't regularly update her on my life or tell her about my feelings. I had her read the INTJ profile. I think maybe it helped her a little.

Until 14 my best freind was an ESFx. All my other "freinds" were pretty much his freinds. I was usually doing my own thing or with his crew. At 14 he had gotten too involved in the drug/party scene. Instead of letting him drag me down I cut my ties with him and therefore most of my freinds.

I excelled in school at anything science and at times any other subject that caught my attention. This too was a source of great frustration for my mother because she couldn't "figure out how to motivate" me. I could get an A on all the tests and yet be failing a class because of lack of participation. I would usually start the year off with good intentions but by the second grading period I was bored and didn't care about most of my classes. My teachers regularly commented how bright I was and also expressed their dissapointment that I wasn't living up to my "potential". I got straight A's in some classes and squeked by in others. I failed American History because I slept through every class, but I passed all the tests with an A or a B.

[ssrprotege]

I read this about children / teens and MBTI a while back, you might find it interesting.

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To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Interesting. This describes me.


INJ Traits

1. They have vivid imaginations. - yes, though I occasionally doubt myself
2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?" - yup
3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groups - large groups stress me out.
4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike quality. - yes
5. They enjoy art and music - classical music :thumbsup:
6. They love books, and especially enjoy fiction - depends on what it is
7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situation - yes
8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings - yes, but not when I am with close friends.
9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned events - yes, I do dislike unplanned events.
10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sports. - well, I don't like sports :(
11. They are perfectionists - yes
12. They're serious and intense - VERY true
13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friends - I was told once, though I have friends with the same age who have unique interests
14. They are original and independent, and value their uniqueness - independent and unique = yes, but original = I am not so sure about myself.
15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them = yes, but to certain extent I care about all grades,, just for university.

[alone]

Don't worry about your IQ. It can screw you over as much as help you. Being happy and successful is more about doing what you know you should do. Just do it. If it doesn't work out someday, you can usually segue into something else.

I was much the same as you. I have learned that rules are very important though, because society is just as much a machine as complex software or hardware. Although highly intelligent people could probably get by without many of the rules we have now, most couldn't.

Furthermore, many of the rules allow for things that would not be possible otherwise. For example, the law of banking and commercial paper allows us to trust that we will get our money somehow when someone gives us a check. Lots of laws attempt to improve the accuracy of information disclosed between trading parties, thereby allowing more accurate values on trades or purchases, and thereby encouraging trust that the transactions are fair, and thereby encouraging lots of transactions, which thereby increases the efficiency of the allocation of assets across the economy/society.

Some of it is also cultural, and when you get older, you start to see the value in it. For example, imagine a world in which everyone wore old t-shirts and sweat pants or jeans. Imagine a world in which christmas was purple and yellow instead of green and red. Some things you just don't want to lose, even though they are merely cultural rather than functional. And actually, you may begin to see some functional value to them if you think hard enough. ;)

[enfpchick]

WOW my mother would have LOVED you guys for children.
But she had to make amends with her ENFP daughter.
I thought she would have ripped her hair out with me when I was small

[airshiplogic]

I'm still a teen. I find books better than people sometimes. Books are my security blanket in any situation. It's like an escape route out of any conversation. You can just start reading and give the message like, "I'm reading, go away."

Handy! :D

[IFearAManOf1Book]

That list describes me almost exactly, except for the fact that I have a long attention span. I can sit and do something for hours without even bothering to look up and see if my companions have abandoned me... I carry a book to parties, just in case I'm bored and want to escape my surroundings.

[onlyparallel]

I was born an adult. The majority of teens are just so imature or stupid or rebellious just becasue they think its cool... the list goes on. There are exceptions of corse, but they're a rarity.

[sriv]

I was born an adult. The majority of teens are just so imature or stupid or rebellious just becasue they think its cool... the list goes on. There are exceptions of corse, but they're a rarity.

LOL. I developed the maturity of an adult when I entered middle school and things got more serious. Same story. People just impractically rebel for the sake of it.

[searcher]

INJ Traits

1. They have vivid imaginations. - yes, though I occasionally doubt myself
2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?" - yup
3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groups - large groups stress me out.
4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike quality. - yes
5. They enjoy art and music - classical music
6. They love books, and especially enjoy fiction - depends on what it is
7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situation - yes
8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings - yes, but not when I am with close friends.
9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned events - yes, I do dislike unplanned events.
10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sports. - well, I don't like sports
11. They are perfectionists - yes
12. They're serious and intense - VERY true
13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friends - I was told once, though I have friends with the same age who have unique interests
14. They are original and independent, and value their uniqueness - independent and unique = yes, but original = I am not so sure about myself.
15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them = yes, but to certain extent I care about all grades,, just for university.

Okay... this is quite freaky.
Everything, and I mean everything is true. :scared:

I really did use to live in my head. (okay, I still do...)

[lordrrr]

INJ Traits

1. They have vivid imaginations. - Yeeeeees
2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?" - Hell yeah
3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groups - Yeeees I can't stand big groups
4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike quality. - YEEEEEAH
5. They enjoy art and music - Actually, no I don't like music that much. I like art a bit but it depends
6. They love books, and especially enjoy fiction - F**K yeah, but I prefer video games over books
7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situation - Yes!
8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings - I hate discussing feelings, makes me so uncomfortable. I don't even talk about my feelings to my parents or best friends ever. Feelings are what I keep DEEEP down inside me
9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned events - Yes!
10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sports. - F**K yeah! Tae Kwon Do, weightlifting and skateboarding beat football and hockey anyday!
11. They are perfectionists - Oh yeah
12. They're serious and intense - Yes
13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friends - Yeah I don't have too many friends who are exactly my age
14. They are original and independent, and value their uniqueness - Yes, I hate conformity
15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them - I'm concerned about grades because what I want to pursue requires good grades

[DarkFury]

I am a teenager, age 17, and I generally find that most people around me are highly ignorant and immature. I tend not to have many friends, enjoy isolation, and only bother communicating with those who don't act as foolish as the rest of the population generally does.

I have always found that loud people aggravate me to a severe point, as well as people who tend to act as if they're always on stage (ESFP's i think?). I don't really know why, but people who try to attract attention sicken me.

Unlike many INTJ's here, I'm not generally interested in books, mainly because I have trouble finding a good book, and prefer video games. I love strategy, and have just recently begun playing chess. Strategy games are highly entertaining to me. The "list" that I see posted before me seems to describe me almost perfectly, with the exception of art and music, and grades. I care about grades, and enjoy drawing, but I have no fascination with music, and only draw on occasion.

Along with strategy, I enjoy mathematics, especially that of a higher level, simply because I enjoy the way it all works, and the challenge it presents. I don't know why, I just have a natural talent for math.

Overall, I guess I have always been more mature than my general age group, and I have always been seen as the "wierd loner" typical of the INTJ personality.

[ProsecutusDeus]

As an INTJ, I go through life alone and focus much on learning and analyzing the world around me. But lately life seems lonely. Life seems to open itself as an empty hole where darkness hides all emotion, relationships, romance, love. Only goals and thoughts and lists and plans occupy my day. My life is an hour by hour list of events carefully planned in a school-distributed planner, filled with homework assignments, meetings, lessons, late night e-mails and googles. My social life climaxes at study groups and family dinners. Few girls see me as a friend worthy of invitations…fewer guys see me as possible dates. I feel utterly alone. I’m just so sick of trying to reach out and seeing that no one really cares. It’s like I’m too late to penetrate tight cliques. My reputation is set, even though I’ve tried so hard to start conversations and let myself go. I don’t care what people think about me, and I never have. But the consequence of such ignorance and lack of concern is loneliness and absence of peer understanding. I feel like I’m in a different world, on a different level, somewhere away from my school and my life. I don’t know if it’s a greater level of maturity or just strong indifference for the high school unspoken traditions. I feel like I’ve waited all my life for the perfect guy, the greatest romance, someone to uncover the jewel inside my dusty and dirty shell. By that, I am not referring to my appearance. I’m certainly not unattractive and genetics have done well for me, but flirting and small talk seem so pointless and shallow. I used to perceive this dislike as a strength and sign of depth, but have now come to realize its detrimental effects on my social life and impression especially on guys. I’m tired of waiting for ‘the one’ or a one. I strongly believe I’ll know who he is the moment I come in contact with him. But life’s just holding out, refusing to relieve me of my anxious impatience. Any thoughts or sentiments?

[jadefalcon]

Hmm... ok time to go into the memory banks here.

I played along with neighbors fairly well- I enjoyed being alone sometimes playing with my toys, and later on video games. I enjoyed playing video games (later on) with other introverts.

In elementary school I had friends, around a selective few of about 5-6. I had many acquaintances. I went to parties and dances, and when I tried to be there I felt uneasy and awkard. I played with everyone well, and I was very much into the subjects that interested me- spelling was a nuisance and I hated math. I always told myself I would never have to use math again. Heh. I am now a mechanical/electrical engineer.

In middle school I got along with my friends very well, and soon things changed- the nice classmates I knew were gone. I tried to make friends as I knew how to, and it didn't work out. I had a group of about 4 good friends not including myself. We enjoyed water warfare, video games, Bionicle (lego), and card games.

In high school I never fit in with anyone and I had moved away from my friends. I never made any friends. I was always aloof and doing something on my own. I had one or two acquaintances. I was very passionate and active in the classes that suited me best. I did my best in all of my classes, even if I didn't like them. Engineering courses were great. English was not, until I got a British Literature teacher who was awesome.

I enjoyed everything a kid would normally have- I liked roller coasters, I liked reading books and I liked video games. I never had too many friends though, and I would almost never be found at a party of any sort. Later on in my childhood, when classes got difficult I got more into them and always asked for help with my work- and I would be even more engaged.

I played with Legos- I played computer games in the early 90's and I loved slides. I was by no means adventurous, but you wouldn't find me doing things I didn't want to.

[underdog]

I was the extremely shy and quiet kid my whole life. Bad posture, nervousness, social anxiety, etc.

I got along well with others though. Lots of friends and acquaintances, but no one that I was really close with. I might've been more 'E' than 'I' growing up. I never liked being alone; I always wanted to be with my friends. Just that my shyness made me alone.

Now I'm 19 and in college. I've gotten over the shyness and have become much more socially confident now. I'm pretty distant and reserved. I live very independently, but I've still got many good friends I can count on.

[ASUSharon]

I was definitely extroverted rather than introverted when I was a child and a teenager - I got in so much trouble for talking and trying to socialize all the time. When I was in college, I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, and that was the reason I was so chatty and social when I was younger; my parents didn't ever think too much of it so they never took me to a doctor or anything. But once I got the A.D.D. in check, I started to grow less dependent on the attention of others and more self-sufficient, thus becoming more comfortable with being introverted.

I never really cared to conform though... As far as I was concerned, the people who liked me liked me because of who I was and I didn't need to fit in to be liked. I'm really thankful that I learned that so early on.. I know a lot of people who base their worth on the opinion of others, and I can't think of anything more exhausting - simply because I never felt that need. Sure I was a little "weird" but I'm glad I was weird instead of self-conscious all the time.

[Nexus]

Much of that list is true for me but not all of it. One of the things that kind of surprised me about finding about the INTJ was that a lot of it was similar to what I was like as a kid.

[bricklayer]

I don't think I had too many INTJ qualities as a kid (although I was always quiet) but I think it was my childhood that shaped me into an INTJ.

[Sevs]

That list scares me it is a reflection of me in my teens (and now). Especially the entire refuse to do repetitive tasks thing. Which is why I put up such a fight when forced to learn latin *shudder*

[Dazu]

when I was in high school I liked sports, and was good at them, but I also worked harder at practice than others. And I studied them in an effort to be the best. My friends didn't. If I wasn't invited to a party, no big deal. I did little useless homework, especially the repetitive stuff, but I was always a reader. My lack of focus on studying in high school caused me to take a few bone head college courses. When I went to my 30th class reunion my high school acquaintances could not believe I had earned by doctorate.

[SiMey]

I'll have to go back and read this thread but covered a bit of this in my intro:

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[phantasma]

Well, I'm still a teenager, and pretty close to being an INTJ. I taught myself to read when I was 3, and have loved reading ever since. I was reading to my kindergarten class, and was quite the bookworm throughout elementary school. Then, as a teenager, I kind of went through a crazy phase where I acted like the opposite of what I am, and had a short-lived phase of popularity in middle school. Then I went back to my original self by high school, and was kind of alienated by virtue of my maturity and interests.

I've always been content with just a few friends, my teachers liked me too much, I was essentially a stereotypical bookworm until I discovered art.

[Socrates]

Being 16 currently, I've often felt that I am "one of a kind" to say. Several recent occurrences have changed my belief into that I am not alone, simply estranged. I have always lived in the deep south of the U.S., and during my childhood I was always wondering why people viewed the culture of my home as barbaric and uncivilized. Naturally I marked it up to political reasoning.

However, upon entering into high school I realized that my private school education had not prepared me for the most challenging obstacles I would face in the teen years, the largely ignorant and repulsive population of life in today's youth. I immediately became reclusive. Though many would have labeled me as "shy" I would argue to the death that I was simply repulsed by modern culture. I became severely anti-social and developed my now awkward superiority complex.

I feel that I may have matured differently if I had been given more challenges to overcome in my schoolwork, but, even though the fact that I was more than average had been established by everyone who knew me prior to 9th grade, I was still "thrown to the lions" as it were. When I began classes I quickly realized that I had a distinct lead over nearly 98% of the other students. And, since my excess energy was not being put into my classwork, I was left with the blazing desire to prove myself.

And so, I began to compete fiercely with the other students intellectually. I stress the word "intellectually" as I always have, and still do, see academic marks as a measure of devotion, not intelligence. I soon realized, however, that my efforts were in vain. The people surrounding me at school and home were so...simple. They saw my amazing genius, as they saw it, (Is an reasonably intelligent man among idiots a genius?) and labeled me. They would say, "That guy is really smart," and, "He can help, he's smart." To my dismay, it was soon evident that my intellect was not truly appreciated by my classmates.

Even to this day, and even through the lessons of life I believe I have learned, I still feel this pain inside me, knowing that I may never find people who have the ability to understand me. It is a bleak pain, but not one of sorrow, rather it is similar to a feeling of being cheated.

[Reganon]

I too am still a teen. Although I'm young I tend to act like an adult. I'm extremely independent and responsible- on top of being intelligent and talented at a lot of things

I have a reputation of being a goody-two shoes and an overly moral/conservative person, which is not actually true. I'm just not a slut like most of the people at my school. I also don't do anything stupid like everyone else.

Despite my extreme social awkwardness, I have some great friends. I'm an extreme non conformist- so I could be best summed up as the opposite of girly, even though I am a girl. (I'm where fashion goes to die)

Despite my usual adherance to most rules, I have problems with authority. I question ALL authority because I realize that no one is perfect. I often get caught up in the complexity of life, but I would say I appreciate it far more than most people my age.

All in all, being an INTJ teen is generally more difficult because it sets you apart from eveyone else. But I wouldn't want it any other way.

[luna]

Even from the time I was born, my parents knew I was different. The nurse said to them, "She'll have a mind of her own, this one."

I could read before I could walk.

My parents had me on ADD and depression drugs by the time I was eight.

They put me in a stuffy private high school with only about 100 students total. This made it impossible to make friends in school.

And I am still a teenage prodigy/misfit/anti-socialite to my parents, teachers, and classmates.

[Krazy P]

All the traits applied to me with one addition - from a very early age I loved all games of strategy: chess, go, any kind of military simulation. Also mild Asberger and mild autism.

For you young INTJ's out there, find a good mate to complement you.

A married such a person at the age of 20 and with her help I have maximized my INTJ strengths while minimizing the weaknesses. This is key to career and life success.

[cncracer]

As a teen I was even more introverted. I seemed to turn all my thoughts inward, and was curious beyond my own safety. Read a lot, I did play individual sports because it was forced on me, but learned to love running, and tennis which I still do today. I think nerd would be how teens today would label me. I grew out of the antisocial phase in the military and after college and marriage found I could tolerate some social events. Today I think I have reverted into the antisocial behavior at times and use my wife, who is an extrovert, to pull me away from my introverted side.

[graciela224]

I'm still pretty young (18), and yes I'm a complete nerd. I just don't have patience for teenage social disasters. In school I'm a perfectionist, and will re-do my homework two or three times (every night) before handing it in. I have a small circle of very close friends, and I've dated a few guys but have always ended up dumping them (wish I didn't do that.) I'm very passionate about my education. Can be labeled a "sarcastic bitch", though I try to use my wit to amuse, not abuse. I have difficulty tolerating people who abuse their authority.

As a kid, I was completely content to play on my own. In kindergarten I had no friends, but by the fourth grade I had accumulated a decent-sized circle. I came up with very imaginative epic games to play with my friends and elaborate plans for revenge on people I disliked. I have always been skeptical of religion.

Some of the elements of Aspergers would have accurately described me as a socially awkward kid. But as I grew up I forced myself into social situations and am now able to communicate effectively with others. Just takes practice.

[cncracer]

All the traits applied to me with one addition - from a very early age I loved all games of strategy: chess, go, any kind of military simulation. Also mild Asberger and mild autism.

For you young INTJ's out there, find a good mate to complement you.

A married such a person at the age of 20 and with her help I have maximized my INTJ strengths while minimizing the weaknesses. This is key to career and life success.

I agree with the spouse helping bring the INTJ back into balance.
I had a three week period without my wife this year and after the first week had reached a point of going to work and coming home nothing else. I started trying to talk with at least one person away from my work environment each day, but by week three found that was just too much trouble.
She is back now, and although not a bubbly life of the party, I am talking with the neighbors again. I think the introverted side of our personality is our weak spot. The rest I would not change.

[dogwoodlover]

As a kid, my mom used to hand me two paper clips and stick me in a corner. I would stay there for hours on end. She'd get all her work done and come back and I'd still be there, playing with my paper clips. My parents always told me about the endless imagination I had as a kid.

I was fortunate enough to have had my parents intellectually stimulate me as a kid by purchasing various children's microscopes, little telescopes, "geology" sets (dig little gems out of a big chunk of clay), science books, taking me to museums, etc. I remember one time when I was around 6 or 7, my mom took me into my little sister's room while she was sleeping and pulled back her eyelids to show me how people's eyes move around when they are in a REM cycle. I still laugh about that to this day.

I had always been very very very quiet until I hit around freshman/sophomore year of high school. I always preferred to stand back from social situations and just observe, at least until I got to know all the people well enough to feel comfortable talking with them. I used to spend time hanging out with my aunt Valerie, and she used to take me everywhere with her friends. Consequently, as an eleven/twelve year old I used to sit around a table of thirty year olds and just absorb all of their conversations. They'd often forget I was there and at some later point, once they'd realize I was still sitting there, they'd make some comment about how I was just "sucking it all in." I used to do the same things at family holidays. I was never terribly interested in playing games with my cousins, I would usually rather just sit around and listen to my parents chat with my aunts and uncles.





dogwoodlover added to this post, 21 minutes and 15 seconds later...

I agree with the spouse helping bring the INTJ back into balance.
I had a three week period without my wife this year and after the first week had reached a point of going to work and coming home nothing else. I started trying to talk with at least one person away from my work environment each day, but by week three found that was just too much trouble.
She is back now, and although not a bubbly life of the party, I am talking with the neighbors again. I think the introverted side of our personality is our weak spot. The rest I would not change.

My ENFP girlfriend balances me out quite well. She helps me to be social, and she helps motivate me a lot, seeing as thats something I often struggle with and ENFPs are natural motivators. When I met her I was in the beginning contemplative stages of dropping out of high school in order to start squatting and maybe train hopping. Over the course of the next six months, she managed to talk me out of it and talk me into going to college. Now I'm an aspiring college professor. Admittedly, she is at times like a second mother to me, which can be rather irritating, but other than that she really helps to keep me on track and balanced.

[taintedkitty]

I am just out of childhood, technically. I still feel very much the child though.

Perhaps the topic starter was asking in light of the fact that MBTI can change over time, and therefore I might not be the best person to ask, seeing as I am an INTJ in childhood and I might be something else in future.

My mother says I was calm and collected as a child, rarely cried. I have variously been described as reserved, quiet, collected/calm, independent, self-confident, skeptical. Two descriptors that surprise me, often, are well adjusted and realistic. Anyway, on the flipside, it can be seen as cold/calculating, arrogance and too much of a go-getter personality (I do make sure I get what I want. If I can't, I won't want it. Bear in mind, this is not really in reference to material goods). One thing that is constant though, appears to be "intellectual". I am also, very introverted. Always in my head. Even now, in the anonymity of the Internet.

Books have been a very dominating presence in my life. The INTJ list lists a preference for fiction. I beg to differ, I love my non-fiction. It's mostly not related to school, and I can be engrossed in what some others may consider "dry". My mother was the loving presence who introduced me to the literary world at such a young age.

She's very encouraging, and I know she means well, but sometimes she tries to "fix" me. Like taking me to a restaurant and getting me to "socialise" by paying the bill. I know I can come off as anti-social, but really, I can function in society. I just choose not to engage unless my interest is really piqued.

I go to a high school where entrance is based on intellect (results from a test taken when you're 11/12 years of age. Kinda strange). So during my years here, I guess I haven't been as exposed to the stereotypical jock/cheerleader kids. Nevertheless, they're still here. I have a tendency to consider the high school cliques/apparent hierarchy where extroverts reign rather suspicious. I don't exactly fit in, and honestly, I relish that.

I'm linked to a really amazing boy, and together, I believe that we can take on the world together (cheesy, yes). It's really quite an intriguing mix of personalities, his idealism and my pragmatism, his feelings and my thinking. And yet, we're very similar, in essentially what we want out of life and what we believe in. I do learn a lot from him, and I believe he learns a lot from me. We have our ups and downs, frequent misunderstandings and all. But the redeeming thing is, we're both willing to listen and we're both willing to work through this. Interestingly, he's an INFP.

[Andrew Popovici]

And by kid I mean a 16-year old. This is probably as close as you'll ever get to an INTJ profile, especially for a teenager.

-not very social (Introverted, duh)
-like reading
-LOVE music/art
-not many friends
-prefer talking to people 1-on-1, not in groups
-sarcasm and irony are my speciality
-I often daydream
-I have my own little world, and no you're not invited
-No, I'm not pessimistic, just realistic.
-Thoughts over emotion, any day (Thinking)
-Need organization! Love to plan. (Judging)
-I love to read between the lines (iNtuitive)
-I wonder, "where can this be used in life?" I think of the future, not the present.
-Accel academically
-dislike authority based on titles and tradition. I decide who's worthy and has the qualities of leadership
-Not inclined to be a leader, but when I see a group failing, or in need of help, I come to the rescue
-I have that cold look (almost a glare) that is associated with most INTJs
-Not very social, kinda shy, but that seems to change when I write, Text, IM, or email
-reflective
-wondering how I can improve something/myself
-don't really care what others think of me
-Can see patterns very clearly
-and therefore, good memory, learn new concepts quickely
-I will tear your ideas or arguments apart. Not by yelling louder than you, but proving my point!
-WE will be the judge of whether your ideas have any worth/value. And be greatful for any commendation; we rarely give it away.
-HATE repetition
-How can we apply this to real life?
-We're decisive in our choices. rest assured, that they're been thoroughly analyzed from every point of view
-very meticulous, sometimes I serioulsy think I might be OCD
-we know our strengths and weaknesses. We know our limits, only we know our true potential
-if you ever get us to say a joke, they usually go way over people's heads. But we still thinkit's funny, and we find amusement and in humor in the oddest of places
-We are passionate about what we do. If there's an ITNJ amazing at basket-weaving, they will pour their hearts and souls into it. (assuming INTJs would want to do something as trivial as basket weaving)
-you ask for our opinion, and we'll give it to you.
-we make great listeners (considering what you have to say is interesting enough)
-we have self control (most of the time)
-HATE incompetence, hypocracy, double standards, or BS. I can see through BS in a minute, and I have no patience for it.
-Certain things earn our respect, you will have to figure that out for yourself, but we know what we like, and if you have those qualities, then in our eyes, you are then worth our time
-change is inevitable, necessary, and is greatly welcome and appreciated
-EXTREMELY HIGH expectations of others, even higher expectations of ourselves
-love strategy. Like in chess, where we think ahead the future moves for the perfect checkmate, we use the same principle in life
-Perfectionists, often procrastinators
-Will do what we must to get the job done
-We are rolling stones. We need improvement, change, growth, and progress
-creative, resourcesful, ingenious, and innovative
-catagorizing is fun. The catagorizing of people is an exact science. They can be read like a book, they are very predictable (patterns again)
-don't like eye contact
-you already know we're private, but you don't know how protective we are of our privacy, and to what extents we'll go to preserve it.
-We see the big picture
-Can you say independent? I would have NO PROBLEM being the last man on earth.
-cold and distant. Who would possibly want our friendship. But I am told that the true friendship of an INTJ is very valuable, and we (sometimes) open up. By that I mean we have conversations.
-Emotions? We might have emotions; we might not. you'll NEVER know, because we sure wouldn't tell you about them, assuming we had emotions.
-Love information, very curious. Life, Liberty, and the Persuit of Information.
-Our true friends (the very few friends we have), we would die for. There's a small circle, very few open postions, and everyone else is placed into the "I just know you circle."
-overall misanthrope (not always INTJ quality)
-we find social traditions and (what we see as soicial BS) is absolutely UNNECESSARY. Don't give any small talk. Don't ask me about the weather. This is why:
-Time is precious. We could be listening to music or reading if it weren't for you. Don't waste our time. We are real time-efficient people, love multitasking, and hate having to do something again. We are very to-the-point. Other people would call it blunt
-If we give up our free time for you, you are special.
-Religion, or the abscence of is not a trait, but having a strict set of morals and values is shared by all INTJs.
-we're not stubborn... maybe we can, but we have good reasons for our self-confidence. Just TRY to prove us wrong
-Sure, you can learn from the past, but other than that, we don't dwell on the past. (for ex: Funerals are pointless because, they're dead! Move on! ... That also enables us too move on quickly from ended relationships)
-we're not quite mind-readers, but there are such things as patterns and common sense. Sometimes we can obviously see the outsome of smething, even when it's not so obvious by other people
-we make up 1-2% of the world population. Thus there are few of us, and it's hard to spot an INTJ
-we don't care about criticism, but we enjoy new ideas (a new point of view, etc.)
-people are creeped out by INTJs, or think we're wierd, or don't know what to think of us. People sometimes tend to ignore us completely. But we don't mind.

These are all the ITNJ traits that immediately come to mind. Everyone of them can be used to describe me. Overall, INTJs are very wierd, but interesting people, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

[LionsPride]

I was a child who was not a child and a teenager who was not a teenager. Basically my experiences had to catch up to my already old soul.

[pinkroger]

Yes, I agree. I was always more or less and adult, even at the age of 10. Of course, I didn't have the knowledge, experiences or wisdom (if such a thing exists) of an adult, and I knew it. I would always be humble in the face of an adult opinion, but if I knew it was wrong, I would make it painfully clear that it was wrong, and I would not respect that adult until... well, until the death of that person. I am still like this today, even though I still wouldn't consider myself a real adult yet (college student).

[rahdam]

I always felt that I was psychologically older than my peers. Unfortunately, now I'm 24, and I still feel that way...I actually hoped when it was younger that they would all catch up...but now I know the truth of the matter; they will never catch up, it's something intrinsic in my own personality.

I have a good ENFP facade that I can throw up, but sometimes I really wish I could be an ENFP, or some other type that is more attuned to the general populace.

[enfpchick]

I have a good ENFP facade that I can throw up, but sometimes I really wish I could be an ENFP, or some other type that is more attuned to the general populace.

Noooo! Stick to what you have because, trust me, its not easy being an enfp

[Chucklebug]

I've seen videos of myself at around the age of 4 and I was really bossy and always wanted my own way, which really suprised me when I first saw them as for most of my life I've been a very meek and mild person on the whole. Though I do remember having massive arguments with my best friend at that age. In primary school I was extremely quiet and easily lead by other more extraverted types, which got me into trouble when I became the side-kick of the rebel in the class, we got into a lot of mischief! This girl began to bully me a lot and insult me but I remember that even though I hated it and it effected my self-esteem greatly it was like I was addicted to her and I couldn't stay away. She was so different to me, so daring and very intelligent and witty too, I think she must've been an ENTX. But this kinda set the tone for many of my future relationships in primary school in that people seemed to turn a pleasant friendship into underhand bullying. I dont' know if this is a common experience for all INTJs although my cousin who is one had the same stuff happen; maybe my peers sensed my strangeness and attacked it when they got to know me enough to recognise it. I always thought these experiences were the result of my introversion and distrust of people but perhaps I was always like that. I didn't start off as an amazingly intelligent child and I was slow to pick up reading and maths, but once I did I became an immediate bookworm, I can almost remember the day I realised that reading was what I loved - the first novels I remember devouring were the Famous Fives by Enid Blyton, and I haven't stopped since! By the end of primary school I had discovered my intelligence and I was getting straight A's. High school was a much better story, I loved science and art and I found a friend who was very much like me - when I look back I'm sure she was an INTJ. I never had trouble again with bullying as I had become more assertive but I was pretty nerdy, serious and quiet - still am! Definitely not a girly girl. Didn't suck up to teachers but they seemed to like me. Never got into trouble, did my homework, didn't rebel much against my parents as they pretty much let me do what I wanted, I was quite conservative, people would say that I had my 'head on straight'. I got high grades most of the time but I'm ashamed to say as the years went by maths became my weak point, it makes me feel cheated, I'm meant to be good at maths! Grrh that still irks me and I don't know why. All high school I read mainly novels and got into classics in a big way when I was 15. I also played piano, I actually think it was starting piano lessons that really helped me improve my intellectual skills in primary school, I definitely recommend that parents get their children to learn an instrument. In year 12 I did really well in English Studies and my teacher wanted me to study literature and I seriously contemplated it, but I've decided to go into science, ultimately it's much more interesting and useful. I've actually had 2 pretty much wasted years studying at a technical college and as a Dental Nurse - for a 'useful' and 'secure' job as a Dental Hygienist but hated it so much that in the end I quit and now I'm sitting on my bum at home wishing next year was here so I can finally go to university. Man, I sooo should get a job. I've realised now I was trying to do what would please my parents, who unlike most parents actually didn't want me to go to uni, they're probably right you know, all that money spent then you can't get a job doing what you want anyway. Oh well I'm going to take the chance and do what I want - Environmental Science. Maybe I'll become a lonely hermit park ranger. Oh yes I almost forgot, I don't have a boyfriend and never have, and I probably won't get one anytime soon as I hate socialising. Nope I like to stay at home and educate myself on subjects that I'm ignorant in like Physics and Philosophy, I realised that there was a massive gap in my education after reading up on this stuff! Now, where has that book on quantum physics gone.....? Aha, now for hours of mind boggling fun!

[PHS Philip]

Noooo! Stick to what you have because, trust me, its not easy being an enfp

You say that like it's easy to be an INTJ. Heh. Although it's not easy to be any type really, is it?

[bethanygm]

1st- my dad was loving, my mom was psycho and wanted to shape me into another "her". She could not handle how different I was. She cares so much about what other people think. She is also very abusive, so I got a lot of negative feedback growing up.

When I was little, I used to come home from school and ask my mom why the other kids were so stupid. I sat on the playground by myself reading. I was accepted in the gifted program, but my parents decided they'd rather I be the smartest kid in the class... They were worried I would be "too challenged".. What a mistake.
Since I was a "bossy know-it-all", no one liked me. I had one friend a year. I had a lot of opinions and was bored in grade school and my teachers didn't always like me. I would constantly be reading a book *(hidden in my desk- on the playground), yet got straight A's. The thing that kept me going was the promise that straight A students would go to a special "honors" program that moved more quickly in 6th grade. Only a handful of kids were allowed in. The year I finished 5th grade, they decided to let any student with a B+ average and up in! That was A LOT of kids. I gave up after that.

I was much more mature in a lot of areas than my peers growing up.. I remember my dad would have mature conversations with me about the meaning of God and other random stuff I would analyze.(starting at age 12, at least) I liked talking to him much more than I enjoyed conversation with ANYONE my age.


No friends, so depressed.. spent years and years trying to fix myself and figure out what was wrong with me. Got made fun of so bad...I had no self-esteem, but some kind of outer confidence that I think threatened other kids my age. They had to try and tear me down because of it. Everyone talked about me. I wore whatever I wanted in high school and cut my hair the way I wanted to... I truly believe that some people were jealous of my individuality (they were all followers, which I despised) and they thought I was a bitch because I kept to myself (sick of being rejected and made fun of)...

I was so bored and annoyed with school that by junior/senior year I would leave school and walk home (It was FAR) and then end up getting detention for skipping. I LOVED detention. In detention, I got to sit at my desk all day and do nothing but READ. I even got to go down to lunch before the other kids (with the other "bad" students) and I would get to bring my food up with me to detention and enjoy it while I continued to read. I didn't have to talk to anyone (wasn't allowed to anyway) and they had ALL the school books. I would get to read whatever interested me. (usually more advanced textbooks in classes I wasn't taking, like psychology.)

bethanygm added to this post, 2 minutes and 57 seconds later...

Some probably plan out their future, but I didn't and I'd imagine I'm not alone in taking my time to find my place.

And, on the anger part... Uh... Maybe you should go look up such things as Borderline Personality Disorder (which I have, so don't feel too bad), and... I can't remember... Mood swings like Borderline, but they last a lot longer... -.- Much more known than my own disorder making it weird not to remember... -.- *resorts to looking it up* Bipolar! Maybe your Borderline or Bipolar. I don't know of any other mood swing disorders, but there could be others, too.


Don't be so quick with this stuff. I was sure I had a disorder because I was convinced I was messed up. I think it turns out my mom is the one with Borderline Personality Disorder..
Chances are NOTHING IS WRONG WITH US. We just feel there must be because lots of other people act like there is!

I was a child who was not a child and a teenager who was not a teenager. Basically my experiences had to catch up to my already old soul.

I really thought that I must have lived before. I always felt like I was "too old" to be trapped in my age group. haha. My (young) friends used to say.. "You're like an old lady!" I had weird stages of development, though. Mentally, I could be very mature.. But I was still my age when it came to lots of other stuff, like my persistent belief in unicorns and my selfishness or my need to sleep with my stuffed dog.





bethanygm added to this post, 8 minutes and 3 seconds later...

As an INTJ, I go through life alone and focus much on learning and analyzing the world around me. But lately life seems lonely. Life seems to open itself as an empty hole where darkness hides all emotion, relationships, romance, love. Only goals and thoughts and lists and plans occupy my day. My life is an hour by hour list of events carefully planned in a school-distributed planner, filled with homework assignments, meetings, lessons, late night e-mails and googles. My social life climaxes at study groups and family dinners. Few girls see me as a friend worthy of invitations…fewer guys see me as possible dates. I feel utterly alone. I’m just so sick of trying to reach out and seeing that no one really cares. It’s like I’m too late to penetrate tight cliques. My reputation is set, even though I’ve tried so hard to start conversations and let myself go. I don’t care what people think about me, and I never have. But the consequence of such ignorance and lack of concern is loneliness and absence of peer understanding. I feel like I’m in a different world, on a different level, somewhere away from my school and my life. I don’t know if it’s a greater level of maturity or just strong indifference for the high school unspoken traditions. I feel like I’ve waited all my life for the perfect guy, the greatest romance, someone to uncover the jewel inside my dusty and dirty shell. By that, I am not referring to my appearance. I’m certainly not unattractive and genetics have done well for me, but flirting and small talk seem so pointless and shallow. I used to perceive this dislike as a strength and sign of depth, but have now come to realize its detrimental effects on my social life and impression especially on guys. I’m tired of waiting for ‘the one’ or a one. I strongly believe I’ll know who he is the moment I come in contact with him. But life’s just holding out, refusing to relieve me of my anxious impatience. Any thoughts or sentiments?

How old are you?

You WILL know when you find him. I bet he'll be an ENFP ;) Mine was.
I SO know how you are feeling. I have a million journal entries that look like this. Keep plugging along. It'll get better. Just keep focusing on your goals- they are the #1 thing that got me through all the loneliness.

[Ezion]

And by kid I mean a 16-year old. This is probably as close as you'll ever get to an INTJ profile, especially for a teenager.

-not very social (Introverted, duh)
-like reading
[etc]


I identified with ninty-percent of those, so I'd say it's fairly accurate.


I have a good ENFP facade that I can throw up, but sometimes I really wish I could be an ENFP, or some other type that is more attuned to the general populace.

Yeah, I can throw up a good somewhat extroverted facade, as anyone should be able to with sufficient observation of people, but it's more acting the part rather than being the part. It's hard to respond to surprise questions and maintain that facade, or keep on an extended conversation to a group (any small talk that isn't focused on a particular subject).

[radames]

I was told that, as a child, I mostly played by myself, was extremely quiet and softspoken, and tried to find identity in the things I did. As a teen I thought something was "wrong" with me because I had no courage to date and couldn't socialize like others. Always awkward and "weird." I found an outlet through school and being a musician/actor. Outside of those expressive venues my mouth was like an ancient tomb.

[publicdonkey]

I scored as an INTJ for the pass few months and I can't find a reliable resource that describes what INTJs are like as teenagers or children, so just what are they like? Do they fit the nerd/bookworm stereotype like I do? Do any INTJs have Asperger's Syndrome(I scored 42 AQ)?

Normally I would not reply in a thread until I've read through it. Here, with X number of pages already posted, I'd rather risk repetition or missing an emerging point than miss the opportunity to offer a possibly helpful response.

I'm 41, and this is mostly reverse-engineering, as my aging parents are not 100% reliable sources of info. Prior to puberty I was introverted and classic ADHD inattentive variety. I became more extraverted after puberty and rebellious.

Scored in top percentile (maybe the odd 98 here or there) on every component of every achievement test offered from second grade until 11th, when I dropped out of high school.

Always, to this day, the social misfit. Duh. Pretty successful in life, nonetheless.

Let me offer you these reassurances: The INTJ personality just plain puts you in the Aspberger's neighborhood. That's where I live, though I don't meet the clinical criteria. My boss' son has Aspberger's and I've watched him grow up over almost ten years, so I have some clue...

Methinks you have a the opportunity to have a wonderful and successful life to look forward to.

:)

[vertex]

If I had to fill any role as a teenager, I was the sarcastic asshole friend. If you took me seriously, you hated me. If you spent the time to get to know me, it was generally worth it to both parties.

Yup. same here.

[BostonIan]

As as kid, I was a bully, over-talented in school. In high school, I stopped caring about grades, cut 200+ days of school, took a year and a half off of talking, wrote and thought like an old man when I was 16, and once made a loud squealing noise when the prom queen tried to talk to me.

[ATCGs]

had basically zero friends, and was completely perplexed as to why my mom thought that was a problem.

[DazedDown]

i was a very strange child, i was 10 i believe and i made my 2 younger sisters sign a contract with me to be my slaves for the rest of their lives. they obviously had no clue of what i was doing. unfortunately i no longer have that contract lol

[brainysmurf]

My parents said I was a very active child and a fast learner. I had a bad temper, hated surprises and had a strong sense of fairness. I was shy when I had to talk to people outside the family or group of people I spent a lot of time with, but talkative when people I knew well were around. In school I never had any problems with academics, but a lot of conflicts with my classmates. That was partly my fault (bad temper) and partly their fault because I got bullied a lot. I usually only had one good friend at my age and some older friends, but that was ok with me. As a teenager I became less active, spent more time at home, read a lot of books, was tidy and a perfectionist, didn't go to parties or a lot of social events and was considered an outsider at school.





brainysmurf added to this post, 18 minutes and 22 seconds later...

And by kid I mean a 16-year old. This is probably as close as you'll ever get to an INTJ profile, especially for a teenager...


I agree with almost every item on your list except that I hated surprises/change and I wasn't a procrastinator.

[wendytwtee]

1. *They have vivid imaginations yep
* 2. They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?" yep
* 3. They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groupsyep
* 4. They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike qualityyep
* 5. They enjoy art and musicyep, did crafts, made things, drew horses, band
* 6. They love books, and especially enjoy fictiontotally me
* 7. They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situationyep
* 8. They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings100%
* 9. They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned eventsoh definitely
*10. They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sportstennis, definitely
*11. They are perfectionistsoh for sure, probably excessively
*12. They're serious and intenseyep
*13. They often seem older than they are, and may have older friendsyep to both, was told I acted/seemed older a lot
*14. They are original and independent, and value their uniquenessyep
*15. They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them yes to both, I was never too concerned cause classes were easy

Right, I'm gonna use this as a reference.
1. Yes, my head was never in class during lessons and I could write stories as a child way better than my friends' with more originality.
2. Yes, but being extremely independent I always sought those answers on my own.
3.Definitely
4.Haha, the complaints my teachers used to tell my parents.
5.yes, I took art and music as a child. Loved both, even though i'm pretty impaired when it comes to music; can't play =P
6. the only bookworm in class and in the family
7.Always
8. On the spot
9.Mm hmm
10. i liked badmointon ,so..i guess
11.Haha, the endless hours i spent on details in my essays and artworks
12.Mm Hmm
13. I've always acted older by choice
14.Without a doubt
15. always has been that way

[probity]

I was very quiet as a child. My parents told me that even as a toddler I didn't cry often and I preferred to play by myself. I was very soft spoken and cautious but when I wanted something I did anything necessary to get it. My friends would go through periods where they hated me because I wouldn't let them get away with all the stupid things the wanted to do (play with umbrellas in a lightning storm etc). I was also very imaginative and love to play 'make-believe' but I hated playing out the same storyline twice. I was always referred to as the mature one. In school my teachers had to force me outside to play because I'd always try to stay in the classroom or just outside it to read instead of playing.

Because I eventually gave up trying to read during recess I eventually made myself a place among my peers but I was terribly bored with them. I was a people watcher and early on noticed patterns in how everyone was acting so when I got really bored I learned to manipulate that pattern to make them do 'more interesting' things. I became the secret instigator of elementary school melodrama. Once when I got bored of behind the scenes manipulation I stepped out and got the whole second grade to believe I was an alien.

My parents were big on grades so I always made sure to be top of the class if I could accomplish it but I wasn't really interested in grades for anything other than the perks provided by the school and my parents. I enjoyed learning and enjoyed homework but not really the classes. I was put in a gifted program that I thought was pretty stupid and pointless but I went along with it because it got me out of class.

As a teenager I was fairly depressed. I'd finally gotten sick of manipulating people to make them entertaining and started craving real relationships but couldn't stand to be around people long enough to actually develop those. It took a couple of very persistent NFs to eventually wear me down and make themselves my friends until I actually had anyone I was close to.

As a child and as a teenager people have told me I'd make a good leader but I've never been interested as asserting myself in that way. I don't really respect authorities out of any reason other than to keep myself out of trouble so I really had no desire to be an authority in an others life.

[ToC]

I became a recluse at about 11 y/o. Was always cocky. Always aced tests. Greatly detested people, social events, class, people, I mention people? Played an MMORPG for a few years. Got a scholarship to a boarding high school at 13, moved out, and learned how to properly dress myself. INTJ and INFJ as parents of another INTJ is like guerrilla warfare (I couldn't even pick what I wore before then). Was somewhat of a recluse Freshman year, Mastered the art of the social facade for Soph and Junior year, went back to being an oversexed recluse for senior year and spent my time in the dorms playing chess with myself, drinking, reading, writing, and suffering through an overly SJ-ruled environment. Went to college and have hung out with two people in person in the last 7 months apart from mandatory time spent in class; it's been great.

[Hinun]

You say that like it's easy to be an INTJ. Heh. Although it's not easy to be any type really, is it?

Kermit said, "it ain't easy being green", Kermit is right... also it ain't easy being who you are in most situations...

[intellael]

My history was very much like bethanygm's. I had one parent (STJ) who thought it best to be with my age group despite my preference the company of adults.

-vivid imagination
-preoccupation with the unseen, uncommon, supernatural, and the like
-bossy
-opinionated in small groups
-reserved in large groups
-resolute
-often would debate
-watched before considering participating
-asked "Why?" consistently
-things had to make sense
-corrected adults
-enjoyed science fiction
-an adult in a little girl's body
-wanted toys to help me build my own world or explore one (legos, telescopes, microscopes...)
-enjoyed reading
-organized according efficiency (My SJ mother organized based on "norms")
-a daydreamer
-always thought I was living in the "matrix"
-I was convinced I was alien until... tomorrow

[Vagrant]

When I was very young, I remember at first not comprehending sarcasm and getting very frustrated with it. So I resolved to learn it. Since then, it has never left my side.

My mother has pointed out on several occasions that raising me and my brother was a very different task. My brother is an ENTP, I'm an INTJ. He was always competing with me for attention from our parents, and I wasn't even aware of the competition.

Basically, he would throw frequent temper tantrums when we were little, but get over it quickly. If something really caught his fascination, he would be incredibly irritated if somebody pulled him along (say, looking at a car, and dad pulls him to the next one). I was very different -- I wouldn't throw temper tantrums, and was much quieter than my brother. However, I held grudges silently, which would slowly seep out as they grew. I also had no problem switching between different things, even if they were interesting.

As we grew up, I always had friends, but my brother always had more friends. I tended to prefer some of his friends though -- I always got along better with people older than me than people of my own age group. I had one or two extremely close friends, and that was it. I'm not sure my brother had the same thing.

It always took me a long time to find a social group in school. It took me years in elementary before I finally found the dodgeball group, which held together despite classes changing every year.

In middle school, I was a bit of a nomad -- the nerds were the closest thing I had to a group, but I was still independent of them. Middle school was perhaps my loneliest time, because it was so short and a big change, as well as puberty kicking in, and my introversion becoming more apparent when I couldn't talk with girls.

In freshman year of high school, I was a loner. No two ways around it -- I just didn't feel like I belonged to any particular group, didn't have any really close friends. The first half of sophomore year was the same too. However, in the second half of sophomore year, one of my former friends introduced me to my current best friend (an ENFP, no less). And a core group formed around him (the ENFP created a kind of glue for the group). The group even gained a peripheral group of friends who came and went.

Throughout all this time -- I was able to survive as a loner. I would much rather be by myself than with anybody who I found irritating or boring. However, my chronic depression kicked in quite often (around stress), so I was depressed for a large portion of high school.

I always scored good grades, was a good student, came to college with 28 AP credits.

[Midwinter]

My story shall be somewhat different to most of yours, as I never really lived up to my potential, in the slightest, as a child.

I didn't particularly get into reading -- I never had it in my to concentrate on anything which was fluid, rather than methodical, for very long. Most of my time was spent playing with my brother, devising scenarios to play with, with my Transformers, and making sure everything went according to plan.

It wasn't so much that I didn't have many friends, just that I had no particular interest in most people, unless they caught my eye and successively proved themselves to be interesting. I used to roam the playground alone; however, there was this rather cute young girl, and we used to just stare at each other and smile as we walked around the playground holding hands -- I don't remember us ever saying a word to each other.

As far as school work was concerned, I did as little as possible (oft time, less than that). I do remember my first year of school: copying sentences from flash cards onto paper; it was so dreadfully boring that I used to slack, but finding myself inspired, one day, I completed the lot in an afternoon, and my b*tch teacher was so impressed she had me go around the school and show all the other teachers.

I was always a violent child. A lad I knew, and I, used to beat the crap out of the older kids. I still never really talked to him, much, but we had an understanding. As I got on in school, I still kept to myself, but ended up causing more and more trouble as time went by. I'm reasonably sure that, at one point, I did meet the criteria for Anti-social Personality Disorder.

There had been times when I was popular, but that was a lot of making fun of the other kids, which I was quite good at to begin with, and waxing hip with the rest of the cool kids. I had had friends, here and there, but that seemed to be the interim between pre-adolescence and my later teenage years.

I remember that my 8th grade environmental studies teacher had designed a program specifically for me, and I did enjoy studying Japanese history and, for once, did quite well at something. Unfortunately by high school I had commented to one blabber mouth c*nt my disregard for said teacher's safety, and she had let the other party know about it. I saw my teacher, again, at my brother's graduation from grade school, and she completely blew me off. I suppose she was angry, but I don't know what the f*ck she expected from a 14 yearold!

All in all, I haven't been an absolute loner... I was just always removed from my peer groups. I normally had one friend I would spend a great deal of time with, and the others were just tag alongs. I enjoyed being bad -- I just didn't see why I should behave when everyone was so completely ordinary. I never did do my work, and hadn't really began to study much until a few years ago, albeit everything I did know well I knew rather well (mostly specialized knowledge).

I'm not sure how typical or atypical any of this would be of you... but it would seem that many of you perhaps revel in being a studious loners, whereas others would rather just exist. I find I have no particular proclivity other than what works at the time.

[Godzilla]

I was INTP when I was younger and grew into an eINTJ. I think I was pretty much a normal child, except I didn't really cry that much and I would often decide to go to bed and wander up to my room and go to sleep and my parents wouldn't know where I went. I was super independent and actually I think I was kind of a ring leader I always seemed to come up with crazy ideas and get my friends to go through with them. I was also depressed all through 5-8th grade so that part of my childhood wasn't so fun. I also read a ton, and still do.

[PeterIMC]

I scored as an INTJ for the pass few months and I can't find a reliable resource that describes what INTJs are like as teenagers or children, so just what are they like? Do they fit the nerd/bookworm stereotype like I do? Do any INTJs have Asperger's Syndrome(I scored 42 AQ)?

I think INTP's are more likely to be nerds than INTJ's. But personality type is no guarantee for being a nerd or not. Your interests are probably more the reason to why you fit the nerd/bookworm stereo type.

Remember, your personality type is more about how you deal with information and how you behave. It says nothing about what you like. Obviously, some types are more drawn to nerdy stuff than others, but still, I don't believe that you can say: All nerds are of some types only.

[Andy]

Oh my god. It feels so good and relaxing to just know that there are people like me in the world. I'm new to the forum and I feel so like home.

[ercaras]

Gradeschool. Very quiet. Most of my schoolmates probably saw me as some loser and nobody wanted to be friends with me. I was probably the weirdest.

I was the bad girl at highschool. Had lots of "friends" but only 1 real friend (i suppose she's real. We've been friends for 8 years now). I never really believed those girls who claimed to be my friends really wanted to be my friend, as in real friend. They never even took time to talk to me. They just wanted to tag along with the popularity and mischiefs to make themselves look cool.

At college, I turned back to this quiet loser girl. Never wanted to talk to anybody, never wanted to study. Slept at my classes, went to my classes drunk, but never failed an exam. I was a chain smoker and an alcoholic for no dramatic or deep reason.

At 17 my world started to change for some reason then I decided I wanted to be a better person. At 21 I finally quit college then started to work. It was ironic that by the time that I decided I wanted to be a better person, then my grades started failing. I got so disappointed I started to skip class again. As a result, I spent 6 years at college but never earned a degree. A typical loser. I never thought I'd do good anything. I was so ready to mop buildings and wash dirty clothes. Thank GOD I got lucky.

[tarheel]

My parents tell me i was a really happy, always laughing kid when i was very young (under 4).

Elementary school was all right. I had a few close friends who lived in my neighborhood who i spent a lot of time with. I also remember hanging out with guys in my grade from school and never really having a desire to strengthen these friendships partly because of a lack of interest and partly because of my lack of understanding of social norms at that age. I played a lot of video games, watched tv, leggos/sim city, and spent a lot of time outdoors exploring and building forts with my best friend.

In middle school, two elementary schools merged and i made very little effort to be friends with new people for the first year. It took me a while to make new friends in middle school. I was really insecure and realized i was gay towards the end of middle school.

I started off high school caring a lot about being cool, who my friends were, dressing right, what car i drove, etc. Basically trying to conform my appearance. I had never really tried at school and always made mostly A's. I had a pretty challenging life change in high school which caused me to focus my energy on school work to distract myself from 'coming out' and being insecure. I found a good group of friends with the same sense of humor, interests, etc by the last two years of high school. I became a lot happier and for the first time had a core group of friends.

Went to college and made a lot of new friends. Still was an overachiever at a top school, phi beta kappa etc even though deep down i'm a slacker. In grad school i've become a lot more comfortable with who i am. Understanding personality and the INTJ type has been a tremendous help.

[snowman]

INTJ, AQ of about 40 or so (changes slightly with each test).

Not a happy childhood, but nothing to be termed as physical child abuse. Mercilessly teased by father and brother until I was about 8 when I faced a situation where there was either definite chance of physical injury or getting teased mercilessly about the situation for years. I chose the risk of injury. Mother flipped and went off on the other two. Pretty much stopped the teasing, but most of the damage was done. I was always getting in trouble due to the bottled up rage until about that time when I was 8.

Household was extremely negative, explaining my personality at the time and why I had few friends. Contemplated suicide for years. What friends I had in high school were the fellow outcasts, and I was the de facto leader. Valedictorian, but I always stopped working when the grade was 89.6% for the A-. Enjoyed Math and Science and got awards for them in school, but couldn't keep my attention focused past the level of practical application. Loathed Calculus due to no perception of being able to apply it to anything. Geography was my favorite topic, followed by History. Despised school from between 7th-10th grades, when the risk of getting beat up by one of the many juvenile delinquents in my poverty-stricken home town is highest. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that it had to end.

[Goat]

I just wrote this long paragraph about what I was like as a child, but I read over it and decided it sounded terrible. =/

That description of the INJ child fit me almost perfectly, though.

[ceph]

i have a lot of fond memories of myself as a young kid, and most of them are of me enjoying doing something by myself typically, such as accomplishing something, rather than with any particular group of people. i do however have some great memories of certain people that i knew growing up. i guess i had fun for the most part like anyone else.