INTJ Powers activate!!

[anul]

Hey I'm an INTJ. I was convinced that I was an INTP until a couple of months ago. Then I realized I was an INTJ that was lazy. I'm trying to round out my Extroverted Thinking function so I won't be so socially retarded. So part of my daily training in that is posting on internet forums to help me put my thoughts into words.

[rwyatt365]

Welcome - c'mon in, the water is fine.

[Doppelbock]

Hey I'm an INTJ. I was convinced that I was an INTP until a couple of months ago. Then I realized I was an INTJ that was lazy. I'm trying to round out my Extroverted Thinking function so I won't be so socially retarded. So part of my daily training in that is posting on internet forums to help me put my thoughts into words.

Uh, yeah, 'cause people who post on internet forums are NEVER socially retarded. ;)

DB

[anul]

Uh, yeah, 'cause people who post on internet forums are NEVER socially retarded. ;)

DB

Exactly and people in real life are just as people on the internet. So I need to overcome my irrational fear of social interaction, and force myself to do it. Then once I become more confident I'm able to carry that confidence into actual social interactions. I'm not going to master social interaction on the internet, but it's a small stepping stone in reclaiming my self confidence. Then I can finally become an arrogant jerk again.

[Firelie]

Because nothing says social success like arrogance! ;)

[Max T]

;DYes Firelie has a point- you'll be back here in a year after regaining confidence... then arrogance... then isolation... then INTJ forum!

Anul- 'thoughts into words' is one way, but I also recommend this:
Talk to others as though you are listening to what you are saying- i.e. speak with the sole intention to be understood. * That's the level of communication we can struggle with.

And when listening ('though INTJs are meant to be good listeners), I advise reading about "empathic listening" in S. Coveys "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". * It helps us to deal with the reality in the other guy's head- a paradigm shift for many INTJs.
Try empathic listening on anyone who knows you and you'll get a very positive response from them.

Most people talk AT others and then, whilst the other one's speaking, close their minds to think what they are next going to say. * Hopeless communications.

Oh and welcome!

[anul]

I'm a terrible listener, whenever someone is talking and I get bored my mind just wanders off. Then thirty seconds later I'm wondering what I'm in a conversation about and get confused. I try to listen then think about what the other person said. It's just really hard for me to think extroverted. So I think in my head, and then the other person gets mad because I'm not responding. When actually I'm thinking about what to say, but I can't say an incomplete thought because then they'll laugh at me. Well not really laugh at me, but it's a fear that I'm just going to have to get over.

I don't want to be an arrogant jerk, it's just that when I am confident about myself I'm generally viewed as an ass.