Inter-lingual relationships

[Beery Swine]

I don't care about races, but I can't imagine dating someone who doesn't speak French (my first language), even if I understand English perfectly well. I need to be with someone who understands and shares my culture, regardless of his skin tone.

I saw this comment on the recent interracial relationships thread and thought it deserved it's own.

I personally wouldn't care, so long as they can speak English fairly fluently, don't really care how thick their accent is.

What about the rest of you?

[Reon]

As long as I can understand them when they are speaking English, their accent wouldn't bother me. If I seriously liked that person, I would take a stab at learning their particularly language

[Jughead]

Ooh, interesting thread. I'm bilingual, and I don't know anyone on my college campus who speaks my other native language. I really wouldn't care, though, as long as I can communicate and discuss fairly complex ideas with them easily.

[Motor Jax]

i'm in an inter-lingual relationship... g/f who speaks both Castello and English fluently...

her dad isn't too bad... he's Puerto Rican and me and him have had all sorts of intellectual discussions about history and computers (one of my favorite people to talk to)

her Castello mom though, very limited English... like she knows what you said, but it takes her a minute to mentally translate and then she responds with limited words... so i talk to her in Spanish...

[Noehelia]

Hm, I think you missed the point of Eli. The problem is not when your mother tongue is english but when it is not. I thought I wouldn't have problems with that however I realized after long hours of talking in english with one of my best friends who is Dutch that speaking in another language is very tiring and there are common expressions that you can't just explain. Since I like talking so much especially with my bf I really much prefer that we speak the same language on the same level.

[Homini Lupus]

I don't have any direct experiences, but I don't see the problem. Languages are acquired knowledge and if you really care about your relation, you can learn the partner's language, and as relations develops, so does mutual understanding. Culture may become a problem, expecially if the two persons have different expectations from their relationship.

[Uytuun]

English isn't my mother tongue and I've been in a relationship with a person whose mother tongue wasn't English either...it wasn't a problem.

It's probably different when one person has the communication language as mother tongue.

It does imply some sort of distance, though, not being able to communicate in your own language, but in my case the distance was productive because it allowed me to communicate more personal things since I felt safer saying them in English.

[Gloed]

edit: forgot to read part of a response.

to add, since expressing my thoughts, sharing interesting things i read, speculating et cetera are very important to me, a relationship might be the only reason to really motivate me to learn another language. i'm currently working in a language that's not my native tongue and it's starting to bother me. i feel it doesn't allow me to be as competent as i can be.

[Uytuun]

so you both spoke the same language and that wasn't a problem ? amazing!

I've edited my post.:p We both spoke a different mother tongue and used English to communicate.

You don't happen to be Dutch/Flemish, do you, Gloed?

[Gloed]

I've edited my post.:p We both spoke a different mother tongue and used English to communicate.

:angry:


You don't happen to be Dutch/Flemish, do you, Gloed?

well...i'm from brussels, dutch is my native tongue and i'm currently living in the flemish part of belgium, you tell me. i don't know what i will do if they split up the country. oh wait, since they don't seem to be able split voting districts, i doubt they're capable of splitting the country ;)

are you ?

[Uytuun]

I had edited it before I had read your response. :p

I'm Flemish. West-Flemish even. *demonstrates accent* Myeah, I doubt they'll split up.

[Beery Swine]

Hm, I think you missed the point of Eli. The problem is not when your mother tongue is english but when it is not.

I stand corrected. I still don't think I'd mind.

[Mafiaangel180]

Men can be hard to communicate with. People of different MBTI types can be hard to communicate with.

I attempt those, so heck, why not attempt it with a hottie from a different culture?

Hopefully he says yes a lot. ;)

But seriously, I would make every attempt to learn his language.

[Gloed]

I had edited it before I had read your response. :p

I'm Flemish. West-Flemish even. *demonstrates accent* Myeah, I doubt they'll split up.


actually, i'm used to the accent, one side of my family is "west-flemish". if you're from kortrijk though, you will have to repeat in a comprehensible way ;)

not long ago it crossed my mind that it's kind of funny how countries and continents are mixed up : south america, south-africa, ... in dutch you can add parts of continents to that mix : western europe..

[Uytuun]

actually, i'm used to the accent, one side of my family is "west-flemish". if you're from kortrijk though, you will have to repeat in a comprehensible way ;)

not long ago it crossed my mind that it's kind of funny how countries and continents are mixed up : south america, south-africa, ... in dutch you can add parts of continents to that mix : western europe..

Naw, I'm from the Far West, have some sea water.

[Shaz]

Hello from Lille here! I could almost be Belgian myself (thank god, that was close :faint:)

I'm dating an Australian guy at the moment and English is not my mother tongue (but people say I'm picking up an Australian accent! HELP ME!!). I don't care that he doesn't speak French. On the contrary. At least even if we end up breaking up I will still have worked on my English thanks to him :laugh:.

To be honest I'd rather date someone from a different culture. To date someone different makes me feel like I have so much more to discover and to learn about. I think I have to opposite reasoning to eli. Why date someone I already know so much about? Isn't it more open-minding (can I say that??) to try to understand someone who comes from a different background?

[Erika Redmark]

I think it would be a pretty awesome experience, actually–a very cool reason and way to learn (or practise) a language.

[Seppuku Savant]

I'm sort of the opposite. I expect someone to be able to speak at least one other language fluently. I speak 3 and am currently working on my 4th. They only need to have one language in common with me and it doesn't matter which one as I'm proficient in the ones I know.

I'm really drawn to polyglots.

[Antisocialite]

I saw this comment on the recent interracial relationships thread and thought it deserved it's own.

I personally wouldn't care, so long as they can speak English fairly fluently, don't really care how thick their accent is.

What about the rest of you?

Yeah. :thumbsdown: That would be where I would have to draw the line, unless I get serious about learning another language. It'd just be too hard.

[Grizzly]

Its not that hard, its amazing how attuned you get to body language....and charades

I'm American dating a Chinese girl.
When we first started dating my chinese was nonexistent, and her english was about fluent in writing, but lacking in spoken proficiency.

But its amazing how fast its improved, she can understand my friends from North Carolina, and I can speak with her friend in Shanghai-ese.

But there were times when we had to draw pictures on a whiteboard

[eli]

I don't think I'd mind dating someone who didn't share my native language if it was a short relationship. For a life partner however, I'm very happy to have found someone who is of the same culture and who understands my other roots. I don't think it's close-minded, since he's so cultured that he's actually taught me about my culture and about others.

I would also like to point out that some of the people who answered that it wouldn't be a problem gave the example of having a boyfriend or girlfriend who's native tongue isn't English. In that example, the only person who can't express everything they feel in a language that feels instinctive is well not the person who answered.

[Elfrun]

I'm dating an Australian guy at the moment and English is not my mother tongue (but people say I'm picking up an Australian accent! HELP ME!!).

:scared: Nooooo! Fight it! Stay strong and FIGHT IT!!


For OP, wouldn't care as long as there was a willingness to understand each other and strong communication, honestly I couldn't give a toss what their, or their families native language is.

[Henry]

I saw this comment on the recent interracial relationships thread and thought it deserved it's own.

I personally wouldn't care, so long as they can speak English fairly fluently, don't really care how thick their accent is.

What about the rest of you?

If I dated again, particularly an extrovert - I'd prefer that she not speak english so as to not have to talk constantly.

[Uytuun]

Hello from Lille here! I could almost be Belgian myself (thank god, that was close )

Bonjour, bonjour. GL with the Aussie lad.

[BlueberryMint]

I would actually love to be in a romantic relationship with someone whose native tongue was not the same as my own. Some people did mention the difficulty/worry of not being able to fully explain the more complex thoughts, views, and arguments one may have, but I do not see that as being a problem for me, because I would love to learn their language and it would be a constant challenge and enjoyment to learn more and more about their language so that we could speak ever-closer and -deeper to each other. Also, the other person would likely have another culture to go along with the native tongue they spoke in, so learning the culture would also be another joy and wonderful experience. I believe that through enough practice two people of different native tongues could learn to speak to each other just as intricately and intimately as those who share a native tongue.

[strawberrycat]

I would rather date someone who speaks English fluently. I have a friend who has a thick accent, and I always feel like she doesn't understand what I say 100%. There are definitely problems too. I get frustrated a lot of times with my mom, who doesn't know English very well. Even though I know Spanish, I don't always know how to express what I want to say a few times.

Nevertheless, when you're in love with someone, I don't think it would matter much :)

[Gloed]

Naw, I'm from the Far West, have some sea water.

there's a far west crew, a dancehall collective. they're from antwerp though ;)


i used to drink "seawater" when on holiday in your part of the country, a cocktail with blue curacao and vodka (and gin?)... is that what you're offering me ? :)

[zibber]

Ik wist niet dat er andere mensen Nederlands spraken!

And yes, inter-lingual relationships where the communication is difficult are, well, difficult. Very tiring. If you're not looking for a mental connection, they're fine (reminds me of my nephew who used to go to Thailand looking for girls, yech), but seriously, how is that even a relationship?

[Gloed]

Hello from Lille here! I could almost be Belgian myself (thank god, that was close :faint:)

:speechless:

hello!


I'm dating an Australian guy at the moment and English is not my mother tongue (but people say I'm picking up an Australian accent! HELP ME!!). I don't care that he doesn't speak French. On the contrary. At least even if we end up breaking up I will still have worked on my English thanks to him :laugh:.

and if you break up you can always blame it on communication problems..


To be honest I'd rather date someone from a different culture. To date someone different makes me feel like I have so much more to discover and to learn about. I think I have to opposite reasoning to eli. Why date someone I already know so much about? Isn't it more open-minding (can I say that??) to try to understand someone who comes from a different background?

being with someone from a different culture could make you more tolerant towards that person, towards his mistakes in your eyes, because you aren't comparing him as much to your culture as you would with someone from your own culture. the fact he might be somewhat oblivious to certain things you take for granted may seem less of a problem.





Gloed added to this post, 7 minutes and 44 seconds later...

Ik wist niet dat er andere mensen Nederlands spraken!



redelijk wat zelfs. er is ergens een thread die een top 10 weergeeft van waar mensen naar dit forum surfen, zoiets. zowel nederland als belgië stonden in die top 10 als ik mij goed herinner.

edit : deze : To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[ssrprotege]

Inter-lingual relationship, that sounds fascinating. Like Erika Redmark, I think it's a good way to learn languages. It can keep me interested in learning it, and I can develop speaking/listening skills (whenever I learn new language, I do well in grammar/reading/writing but suck at speaking/listening.) along with other skills. Good English or Korean skills are appreciated, but I think I can teach them if she is uncomfortable with either of them.

[Grizzly]

being with someone from a different culture could make you more tolerant towards that person, towards his mistakes in your eyes, because you aren't comparing him as much to your culture as you would with someone from your own culture. the fact he might be somewhat oblivious to certain things you take for granted may seem less of a problem.




Too tru!

You do end up being much more tolerant in the relationship as misunderstandings can come from miscommunication or just from bipolar cultural training.

my girlfriend and I usually end up arguing about whether cold water on a hot day is bad for you or not.

It does make troubleshooting much more difficult though if something is bubbling underneath the surface though. "Are you Ok?" just doesnt cut it sometimes.....

[Moriarty]

When I was in high school, I was introduced to a young and beautiful exchange student from Bolivia. I began tutoring her because her English, although functional, was sometimes short of the mark. My Spanish, while also functional, improved a great deal from having known her.

Well, one thing led to another, and in a fit of teenaged passion we ended up engaged to be married. I don't know what we were thinking, looking back on it now...but I still remember her and snicker when I think of all the huge plans we made at the wise age of 18.

It was alot of fun, and often funny, but we made it work. I doubt I'd have the patience to do it again, tho.

[Gwargh]

I'm in a bilingual relationship atm. I speak four languages fluently, and my girlfriend speaks two, both of which I know, so it's not much of a problem to get a point across to each other. When I'm at home and speak my native language (lithuanian) she gets completely lost however.

She's been learning it, however, and even though it's a slow process (lithuanian has more rules than a bureaucratic system) she's doing fairly well.

So really, inter-lingual relationships are possible, as long as there's at least one unifying language.