Interracial relationships?

[Reon]

What are your views on interracial relationships and the offspring of those relationships who can't be fully accepted as black or white. (general) I know this is a rather vague question but I'd like to see some responses first.

[Seppuku Savant]

I'm mixed. It's not a problem for me. I don't see any issues regarding laws or human rights. Most people are fairly accepting in this day and age. Yes, there will always be prejudice people. Yet, that goes for anything. Socio-economic status, race, gender, sexuality, and perceived beauty. Prejudice shouldn't be a deterrent.

I like human beings. Race is irrelevant to me.

[Nanashi]

I'm actually slightly attracted to the idea b/c:

1) I like that social rules that are being injustly imposed are being ignored

2) I like the resulting look of mixed-race babies...they're just interesting looking

3) I like the acceptance and emotional openness in being with someone of a race dissimilar to one's own. There is a strength and a beauty and a flexible, innovative spirit there.

[Homini Lupus]

I think about it as a way to eradicate racism and make humankind genetically stronger on a long term. I admit this is just wishful thinking.

[Mozzes]

It greatly amuses me how strongly opposed some people are to interracial relationships and is something I'll likely never fully understand. It's illogical.

[ssrprotege]

As of Korean background, I was told that I should marry a Korean girl not to cause the 'blood-mixing' problem. I have never fully understood why it should be so. As long as she is thoughtful, empathetic, intelligent and passionate, race is irrelevant. Thankfully, after 3.5 years of life in Canada, my mother became more flexible in terms of interracial relationships. My dad rarely cared about races, anyway. My uber-conservative maternal grandparents may be shocked, though......

[ElstonGunn]

I don't have much of an opinion on them. People from different cultures might have different perceptions or values or things like that, but so can people from the same culture. I'm not going to tell anybody who they can or can't get involved with. Anyways, I don't see race. People tell me I'm white, and I believe them because I own a lot of Jimmy Buffet albums.

[Mozzes]

I don't have much of an opinion on them. People from different cultures might have different perceptions or values or things like that, but so can people from the same culture. I'm not going to tell anybody who they can or can't get involved with. Anyways, I don't see race. People tell me I'm white, and I believe them because I own a lot of Jimmy Buffet albums.

I try to cross racial lines sometimes. I cruise down Main Street blastin' some Barry but all I get from the African Americans I see are strange looks. So what if it's Barry Manilow? The man's got soul.

[Nighthawk]

I have very positive feelings towards interracial relationships. I'm anglo of (very recent) German descent, but I've dated across many different races ... African American, Hispanic, Asian, Polynesian, Indian. I've been married to Hispanic women several times and my son is half Hispanic. I tend to see people as people first ... with their attributes, temperaments, and personality types ... and race as a far distant second. I believe that combinations of races and cultures can strengthen the individuals involved ... both relationship and offspring. From a purely aesthetic viewpoint, mixing races has produced some of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. It saddens me that there are still narrow-minded people who are unwilling to accept this.

[MacGuffin]

What are your views on interracial relationships and the offspring of those relationships who can't be fully accepted as black or white. (general) I know this is a rather vague question but I'd like to see some responses first.
Is this limited to American society?

Are we just talking about a person of European ancestry having a relationship with a person of African ancestry?

[Neuro]

I typically find mixed race people un-attractive (talking the major races here). There are some rare exceptions but the vast majority of the time it's a no. Gets better depending on the ratio. But yeah going forward I plan on sticking to European (including Slavic).

As for my opinion for society or whatever it depends on the where you're talking about. I support preserving racial diversity in the old world but as for the Americas I think since it's brand new territory and based on immigration from the outset that there's no obvious answer.

I grew up in Canada and I've had friends from different ethnicities who I greatly appreciate but they were integrated into the mainstream culture. I would hope that north america doesn't turn into some grey mass but I also think the melting pot concept is far superior than multiculturalism. Tricky situation. No right or wrong answers as per usual.

[mkay]

I'm Asian, married to a white guy. We're share values, which I think is key. Every once in awhile, we get looks -- like when we visit places that are virtually all white. Shrug. I don't think about race and personal relationships. I think such hang-ups are other people's, not mine.

I'm mixed myself -- a bit of Portuguese blood -- but don't look it. My brother shows the mix, has been mistaken for various races, but mostly people can't tell. He's married to another type of Asian, with darker skin, so their kids probably will look mixed. Shrug.

The funny thing about my brother looking mixed: He was having lunch with a friend and was approached by a modeling scout. The scout told my brother his look was in, referring to being vaguely mixed.

[Monte314]

I think marriage is wonderful, "mixed" or not.

[eli]

I don't care about races, but I can't imagine dating someone who doesn't speak French (my first language), even if I understand English perfectly well. I need to be with someone who understands and shares my culture, regardless of his skin tone.

[jikin]

I think about it as a way to eradicate racism and make humankind genetically stronger on a long term. I admit this is just wishful thinking.


I don't think that is wishfull thinking, but it will probably take a long time.

Personally I've never had a problem with it. Where I live it is common to see mixed race couples and children. It is normally excepted by my generation and those after as "normal".
Now the older generation still doesn't see it that way, and maybe they never will. But, then, maybe they just need it in their own family to learn how to accept it. I have a friend who is of European dissent who married a Korean man. Both families were a bit up in arms about it at first. Then the first grand child came along. It didn't take too long after that for everybody to be more accepting. It probably helped that the little girl is adorable beyond words.

[Mafiaangel180]

:thinking: Unlike many animals, we haven't been around long enough to evolve into our own seperate races or sub-species. So no, I would not date a horse. However, I have dated a few pigs. :)

[Jughead]

I'm all for multiracial relationships. As an international student from studying in the United States, in a predominantly American campus, all the people I have wanted to be in relationships with have not been of my race. My roommate and close friend are also in multiracial relationships (white/Asian and white/black) and they don't have any problems either. I don't even know why there should be problems - people are people.

Cultures can be different, although not for me - I could be in a relationship with anyone who respected my culture, and was willing to try and learn a bit about it. I'm not especially attached to it, so that helps.

[Reon]

Is this limited to American society?

Are we just talking about a person of European ancestry having a relationship with a person of African ancestry?

The example I used was just, an example. You can speak about any race.

[mkay]

Cultures can be different, although not for me - I could be in a relationship with anyone who respected my culture, and was willing to try and learn a bit about it. I'm not especially attached to it, so that helps.

Yes, I think that makes a big difference.

My INTJ got a culture bonus by marrying me -- he now speaks some Chinese and knows much more about cooking and nutrition, which are among his interests. My extended family in Hong Kong might have been leery before, but they quickly grew to love him, to see him as an individual rather than as someone from whatever race. It was more personality than anything else; one of my cousins married a white woman years earlier, and my extended family never warmed to her.

My INTJ and I grew up American, so we share similar backgrounds. I would've preferred for him to be in touch with his ethic culture, because then I would've gotten a culture bonus. Unfortunately, his family immigrated to the U.S. generations ago and lost its culture and traditions.

[Jughead]

Yes, I think that makes a big difference.

My INTJ got a culture bonus by marrying me -- he now speaks some Chinese and knows much more about cooking and nutrition, which are among his interests. My extended family in Hong Kong might have been leery before, but they quickly grew to love him, to see him as an individual rather than as someone from whatever race. It was more personality than anything else; one of my cousins married a white woman years earlier, and my extended family never warmed to her.

My INTJ and I grew up American, so we share similar backgrounds. I would've preferred for him to be in touch with his ethic culture, because then I would've gotten a culture bonus. Unfortunately, his family immigrated to the U.S. generations ago and lost its culture and traditions.

My family will probably be okay with me having an interracial marriage because my aunt is marrying a German this year, so there's precedent. (Some people in the family aren't taking it well, but they're a minority, and that's another story, anyway.) I would really like to be in a relationship with someone with strong cultural ties as well - you put it quite well, for the "culture bonus." I've only been in the States since last August, so I do have more cultural ties than most.

[mkay]

My family will probably be okay with me having an interracial marriage because my aunt is marrying a German this year, so there's precedent. (Some people in the family aren't taking it well, but they're a minority, and that's another story, anyway.) I would really like to be in a relationship with someone with strong cultural ties as well - you put it quite well, for the "culture bonus." I've only been in the States since last August, so I do have more cultural ties than most.

Happy hunting. :) I hope you enjoy your studies and your time in the U.S.

[MacGuffin]

The example I used was just, an example. You can speak about any race.
Well, I'm married to an Asian woman. Neither here on the East Coast, nor in the Midwest where we come from has there ever been a problem. Nor in any place we've traveled... except one.

My wife felt uncomfortable in Morocco, but that had little to do with our relationship. Asians just aren't very common as visitors there. The men stared and stared.

My brother-in-law just had a hapa baby. No one seems to care.

[Jughead]

Happy hunting. :) I hope you enjoy your studies and your time in the U.S.

Thank you :)

[mkay]

Well, I'm married to an Asian woman. Neither here on the East Coast, nor in the Midwest where we come from has there ever been a problem. Nor in any place we've traveled... except one.

My wife felt uncomfortable in Morocco, but that had little to do with our relationship. Asians just aren't very common as visitors there. The men stared and stared.

My brother-in-law just had a hapa baby. No one seems to care.

Yes, I think Asian-white couples are less likely to experience negativity, for various reasons. I think it might be harder for some other mixed couples. I say that because I have black guy friends whom I go out with socially. As one of them pointed out to me on the East Coast when we'd walk to lunch and such, we'd get dirty looks from black women, presumably because there's a shortage of datable black men. I, often being my oblivious N self, didn't notice till he mentioned it, lol.

[slask]

My family is great. Race, gender, looks etc. doesn't matter for my family even though we are very traditional in many ways as we're still mostly ethnic Norwegians although my sister dated a turkish man and my cousin is married to a bosnian. We also got a few bi- and homosexuals but it really doesn't bother anybody.

Secularity has come a long way in Norway the last few decades. We just passed the most right-giving of all the worlds gay-marriage/gay adoption-laws. With a few unimportant details gays and lesbians in Norway got pretty much equal rights now.

As for race, we still got some work to do. But it really is really a cultural issue. Adopted children (mostly chinese) have been widespread throughout the last 3 decades, everyone knows at least one adopted asian and they got no issues whatsoever with getting into anyones families.

[MacGuffin]

Yes, I think Asian-white couples are less likely to experience negativity, for various reasons. I think it might be harder for some other mixed couples. I say that because I have black guy friends whom I go out with socially. As one of them pointed out to me on the East Coast when we'd walk to lunch and such, we'd get dirty looks from black women, presumably because there's a shortage of datable black men. I, often being my oblivious N self, didn't notice till he mentioned it, lol.
Yes, I've heard this about black women. I wonder if they have a rougher time of it in general. You don't see many black women out dating other races in comparison to the rest.

[mkay]

Obviously I can't speak for black women, lol, but I have black women friends who've basically given up on dating. They're smart, accomplished, attractive and kind -- heck, I'd date them if I were a guy. But they don't get asked out by other races, and they say they rarely get asked out by black men, who seem to be freer to date outside their race and age ranges.

[ricearoni]

What are your views on interracial relationships and the offspring of those relationships who can't be fully accepted as black or white. (general) I know this is a rather vague question but I'd like to see some responses first.

I guess I'm an interracial baby, though I'm neither black or white. Growing up, I never experienced any issues with being accepted by either group. Though in middle school and early highschool, people took a strong interest in trying to label me. I think during those years, teenagers are obsessed with finding sameness and a group, so I was a bit of a problem for them.

But after that no one really bothers me anymore with that kind of stuff. Occasionally I get the rude question, "where are you from"? As if I wasn't from this country. :rolleyes:

[Erika Redmark]

Half of my family has been in the US or Canada since the 19th century or something, so that side doesn't have much interesting culture. The other half is slightly more recent; that side is Jewish, so that's my cultural background, although it's not all that interesting, either. I know people who are bilingual, or nearly so, or they have close ties to some country that their parents are from, which to me seems a way cooler way to grow up. Whoever I end up marrying, I'll probably end up sort of latching on to his culture (and, of course, if he speaks a cool language, learning it ^_^)…my hypothetical future husband won't get much of a "culture bonus" from me (considering the zeitgeist with respect to religion–it's just not that important).

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Having grown up in the sixties I am still amazed that race is any kind of issue at all.

My theory on black women. Culturally, black women are taught to be strong and fend for themselves......much like men in many cultures. Most men don't want a woman who is as strong and capable as he is. White women (and probably asian) have been conditioned to please men by making sure that they are just capable enough.

[Jgib5328]

My mother is white and my father is African-American and Native American, so I'm a result of an interracial relationship and hence a supporter of it. Also, by default, any relationship that I engage in is going to be an interracial affair, so I have no choice but to support it. I just hope I don't run into any prejudice from the father about it, that's my biggest fear. It'd definitely be good for the world though, when two separate races reproduce, they form a 'stronger offspring' (hybrid vigor, heterosis), so we'd have a world with much better genes. Not only that, but if everyone was the same light-brownish kind of color, you could no longer have racism, or have it to a much lesser extent. I just hope I find a girlfriend who wouldn't mind an interracial relationship and whose parents would mind either, I don't care what anyone beyond them would think.

[zibber]

If it works, why not?

I went out with this Japanese girl a couple of years ago, and that just didn't function. I can't put my finger on them, but there were some cultural barriers that threw things off. Interracial relationships aren't necessarily intercultural, though.

[AgentofGaming]

I think cultural is the most significant issue.
Essentially each family will respectively have their own culture and the pair would probably takes turns feeling alienated. It would take a lot of mutual work and learning both on their parts and their families.

Example: I'm Chinese, my whole family is Chinese, my whole extended family is Chinese (Of course the "Chinese" as a people are racially diverse but have common culture). When we go for tea with a person not of our culture they seem to get dissociated. My maternal and paternal parents don't speak English very well. They aren't familiar with the food or ettiquette (adds reluctance). I mean there's gestures of kindness on both sides but it's just hard to understand when it's all unfamiliar. The cultural barrier is a difficulty for both sides to overcome.

[void]

Durrr...folks should stick to their own kind. We can't let people of different colours marry. Why that will eventually lead to the homos marrying, and next thing you know people are copulating with turtles in the streets.

Sorry even I couldn't keep a straight face while typing that.

If anything I think interracial relationships are more advantageous in terms of advancing us as a species. Heterosis is great. Mixed offspring are statistically stronger, smarter and more immune to diseases.

[True Rune]

I never had a problem with it. It never even occurred to me that I was "dating" outside of my race, really. Anything to preserve order, huh? It is rather annoying, especially as a kid, having to deal with racists.

[rain]

What are your views on interracial relationships and the offspring of those relationships who can't be fully accepted as black or white. (general) I know this is a rather vague question but I'd like to see some responses first.

supposedly healthier offspring due to genetic variety.

honestly, i've never known anything else. it seems rather odd to me when people go out with others who look like they could be related to them.

[pinkroger]

I find interracial relationships odd because I simply don't know much about other races' cultures, and I suppose I am more attracted to members of my own race anyway, so it makes it easier on me. But that's just subjective personal preference.

[Erika Redmark]

I suppose I am more attracted to members of my own race anyway

it seems rather odd to me when people go out with others who look like they could be related to them.

Plus it all depends on what you consider "interracial". If I married some guy from, say, Iceland, we most likely wouldn't look like we could be related, although society would call us both "white". (Although, based on some genetic studies, he might have more genetic material in common with me than with some other Icelander.)

ETA: From this article (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)–
About 85 per cent of human variation occurs between individuals within local populations. A further 10 per cent or so differentiates populations within a race. Only about 5 per cent of total variation distinguishes the major races. This is why many scientists reject the idea of race.

[mkay]

Example: I'm Chinese, my whole family is Chinese, my whole extended family is Chinese (Of course the "Chinese" as a people are racially diverse but have common culture). When we go for tea with a person not of our culture they seem to get dissociated. My maternal and paternal parents don't speak English very well. They aren't familiar with the food or ettiquette (adds reluctance). I mean there's gestures of kindness on both sides but it's just hard to understand when it's all unfamiliar. The cultural barrier is a difficulty for both sides to overcome.


I think it depends on the specific people, how interested they are in learning about each other. For instance, there are some white people who know quite a bit about Chinese culture; some know more than American-born Chinese, have studied the language and such. Food often is a starting ground.

I think having cultural curiosity and not being self-conscious are key. If people don't know or understand, they can always learn if they want. It helps to not be self-conscious, to be at least somewhat social -- makes it easier to get to know people, learn a language or culture.

My white INTJ and I lived and worked in Hong Kong for a year, him knowing very little Chinese at the time. He had a great time, learned a lot. It helped that he didn't constantly hang around English-speaking expatriates. People often naturally flock to "their own" out of comfort. But a lot of learning requires you to leave your comfort zone.

[eli]

Durrr...folks should stick to their own kind. We can't let people of different colours marry. Why that will eventually lead to the homos marrying, and next thing you know people are copulating with turtles in the streets.

Sorry even I couldn't keep a straight face while typing that.

If anything I think interracial relationships are more advantageous in terms of advancing us as a species. Heterosis is great. Mixed offspring are statistically stronger, smarter and more immune to diseases.

You know what's sad about the world today? You could have been dead on serious. I used to do interviews for a living and in one of our questionnaires we asked what people thought was the biggest problem in society and one guy answered me to it was gays. "Too much gays, they are perverting our society."

[ElstonGunn]

Not only that, but if everyone was the same light-brownish kind of color, you could no longer have racism, or have it to a much lesser extent.

Not necessarily. I've known Germans who hated Poles and Irishmen who hated Italians and so on. People will always find a way to hate each other. It's one of our major talents as a species. If you want to end racism, give people a common enemy, like Martians or robots or something.

[Seppuku Savant]

As of Korean background, I was told that I should marry a Korean girl not to cause the 'blood-mixing' problem. I have never fully understood why it should be so. As long as she is thoughtful, empathetic, intelligent and passionate, race is irrelevant. Thankfully, after 3.5 years of life in Canada, my mother became more flexible in terms of interracial relationships. My dad rarely cared about races, anyway. My uber-conservative maternal grandparents may be shocked, though......

Actually, my mother is Caucasian and my father was Japanese. My Japanese family refused to see me after I was born until my parents showed them a picture, ensuring them I had some "asian" features.

Asian families can be really strict about that sort of thing.

[replicant]

I don't have a problem with interracial dating or marriage. I have dated outside my race and culture. It just doesn't bother me because I don't see race. What is more divisive I think is cultural and religious backgrounds. These two things are more troublesome than race. After these two things, you have physical appearance (beyond that). Being a woman who has a weight problem, not many people would give me the time of day despite the wonderful character, intellect, and talents I possessed. It's a shame that we place so many barriers when it comes to obtaining friendships and romantic relationships. I got lucky I found someone and we stuck together like glue. Yes, he's of the same race as I am but even if he were blue I wouldn't love him any different.

I will rejoice if the day comes when I am alive that we see each other as the human race not black, white, yellow, red, etc.

[scholarwarrior]

Yes, I think that makes a big difference.

My INTJ got a culture bonus by marrying me -- he now speaks some Chinese and knows much more about cooking and nutrition, which are among his interests. My extended family in Hong Kong might have been leery before, but they quickly grew to love him, to see him as an individual rather than as someone from whatever race. It was more personality than anything else; one of my cousins married a white woman years earlier, and my extended family never warmed to her.

My INTJ and I grew up American, so we share similar backgrounds. I would've preferred for him to be in touch with his ethic culture, because then I would've gotten a culture bonus. Unfortunately, his family immigrated to the U.S. generations ago and lost its culture and traditions.


My situation in reverse, just about. I'm the American long out of touch with his ancestry. I don't think my lack of cultural background bothers her. My wife is Chinese (Cantonese). Unfortunately, I have had little luck with the language, and her parents don't speak any English. Hopefully that will change. I was amazed how well her family accepted me, even grandparents. Actually, Apo might have been the friendliest of them all. I love visiting and seeing China, and learning all I can.

I second what others said, I haven't seen much disapproval. Actually, I am quite sure my dad didn't care for the idea that we were dating, but nobody disapproves of her after they meet her. We do get a lot of stares though, even (maybe especially) in Chinatown (chicago), oddly enough.

[TheReal]

I came into this thread thinking I would only marry somebody of Ukrainian descent. This is because my entire family is Ukrainian and I am almost 100%. Thats just based on looks alone, It's not about culture or anything, I think its what I'm most attracted to. But if I met some girl outside of my ethnicity I wouldn't discard them for it, I would pursue it. I have ridiculous standards, and if someone is fit with their values then I would be an idiot not to pursue it.

I think interracial relationships are wonderful like all relationships. I think the people who are racially bound are going to have a harder and harder time finding a good relationship. They will either turn out really lonely, or end up in a relationship that isn't right for them. They will be 'right' in their minds, but unhappy as a whole.

[Minerva]

What are your views on interracial relationships and the offspring of those relationships who can't be fully accepted as black or white. (general) I know this is a rather vague question but I'd like to see some responses first.

I am a product of an interracial marriage. I have met people who view me as something close to a traitor because my father is black, and because of my dark skin, I should do more "black" things. For example, I have been told (by my cousin) that I like "white" things because I listen to Classical music instead of R&B.

I don't see race, but many people do. As a person of mixed ethnicity, I am very, very aware of prejudice and racism, and it makes me perpetually wary.

Prejudices, of all forms exists and it is going to be a long time before it's eradicated, if ever.

[Motor Jax]

i grew up in the south where interracial anything was unheard of... i had never seen an interracial couple until after i had joined the navy and came to norfolk, VA after 15 months of being in...

the first time i seen one, i just stood there shocked and just watching... i was bewildered... but over time, i just got use to it

i had a good buddy on the ship who had came from the west part of VA, a small town where he was the only black family there... and i met his white wife... they were the best, nicest couple i could ever hope to meet more than a very few times in my lifetime... they both got along great with each other and with those that they worked with... i worked with the husband and we would just chill, he was the most amicable person to talk with

now, if that had happened in the south that i grew up in, there would have been burning crosses in the yards, nooses from trees (yea, they still did that down in MS)

but i hear that things have progressed and kinda caught up to the 21st century...

from the environment i grew up in to where i am now, i am the most non-judgmental person i know and it just doesn't bother me...

the first time was a culture shock... but you know, if they're both happy, that's great and i am happy for them both...

[mkay]

My situation in reverse, just about. I'm the American long out of touch with his ancestry. I don't think my lack of cultural background bothers her. My wife is Chinese (Cantonese). Unfortunately, I have had little luck with the language, and her parents don't speak any English. Hopefully that will change. I was amazed how well her family accepted me, even grandparents. Actually, Apo might have been the friendliest of them all. I love visiting and seeing China, and learning all I can.

It's great you got such a warm welcome from your in-laws. Good luck with picking up the language. Chinese can be hard to learn.

Unexpectedly, an elderly Hong Kong aunt and uncle of mine turned out to love my INTJ. He shared their interest in cooking, so it was easy for them to show him affection. He'd observe as my aunt whipped up feasts, like in the movie "Eat Drink Man Woman." Even when I'd have to work she'd happily have my INTJ over by himself. What he, she and my uncle had to talk about, I'll never know, because their English was limited and his Chinese even more so. But they tried to teach one another. Before my aunt died several years later, she told my mom that sometimes a white son-in-law could even be better than a Chinese son-in-law, lol.

[White Raven]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with interracial marriages, relationships, etc. Other cultures fascinate me. I'm Caucasian, but I speak fairly good Spanish (and intend on improving the ability), and I hope and plan to raise any children bi- or even tri-lingually, if their father spoke a language other than English.
And it's definitely true that mixed-ethnicity people are often absolutely beautiful. Some close friends of mine are partially Hispanic and partially Native American, and their entire family is gorgeous. And mixed babies completely take the cake for the cuteness factor. ^_^

[mkay]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with interracial marriages, relationships, etc. Other cultures fascinate me. I'm Caucasian, but I speak fairly good Spanish (and intend on improving the ability), and I hope and plan to raise any children bi- or even tri-lingually, if their father spoke a language other than English.
And it's definitely true that mixed-ethnicity people are often absolutely beautiful. Some close friends of mine are partially Hispanic and partially Native American, and their entire family is gorgeous. And mixed babies completely take the cake for the cuteness factor. ^_^

I have an aunt whose toddler granddaughter was learning to speak Cantonese, English and Italian (the nanny) at the same time. They took the little girl to a therapist because she seemed unusually angry, would have tantrums and throw things at various times. The therapist figured out that she was frustrated because she'd be trying to speak Cantonese, English and Italian at times to various grownups and the grownups wouldn't necessarily understand all those languages. Stupid grownups, lol.

[White Raven]

Ouch...
well, see, though, do you know how they were teaching her? Because I'd use OPOL, which is one person, one language--that way she'd always know which language to speak to whom, because they'd only speak that language with her.

[mkay]

Ouch...
well, see, though, do you know how they were teaching her? Because I'd use OPOL, which is one person, one language--that way she'd always know which language to speak to whom, because they'd only speak that language with her.

Sorry, don't know. The family lives abroad, so I rarely see 'em. I think it would be hard for a toddler to distinguish between languages, so I dunno whether one person, one language would help until the kid could figure that out. They took the kid to a therapist not only because they were worried about the tantrums and such; they didn't want her to have meltdowns once she started pre-school, maybe hurt another kid by throwing stuff.

Edit: Maybe it would help to "ground" a kid in one language before adding another. Chinese was my first language, and I didn't start learning English till I was about 4. I had no problems distinguishing the two, and I learned English without an accent and such. ... One of my friends grew up speaking Cajun French and English. She says it took her awhile before she understood that some words didn't belong in the other language. I guess that's what can happen when you learn languages at home vs. in a structured way.

[scholarwarrior]

It's great you got such a warm welcome from your in-laws. Good luck with picking up the language. Chinese can be hard to learn.

Unexpectedly, an elderly Hong Kong aunt and uncle of mine turned out to love my INTJ. He shared their interest in cooking, so it was easy for them to show him affection. He'd observe as my aunt whipped up feasts, like in the movie "Eat Drink Man Woman." Even when I'd have to work she'd happily have my INTJ over by himself. What he, she and my uncle had to talk about, I'll never know, because their English was limited and his Chinese even more so. But they tried to teach one another. Before my aunt died several years later, she told my mom that sometimes a white son-in-law could even be better than a Chinese son-in-law, lol.

A bit off topic. Sounds like your family, or some of it anyway, is from HK. My in-laws are from Guangdong. Did your husband try to learn Mandarin or Cantonese? My in-laws speak both. Mandarin seems more practical, but I guess I'm more interested in Cantonese. Their first language anyway. And then I could watch Stephen Chow without subtitles someday :) Unfortunately nobody really teaches cantonese anywhere. I start picking up things when I'm there, but never long enough.

[mkay]

Both sides of my family are from Hong Kong; my grandparents were from Guangdong. My husband studied Cantonese because we were living in Hong Kong and he was surrounded by it. It was easy to find classes there. It's harder in the U.S. Most of the Chinese language resources are skewed toward Mandarin, which I think is more practical to learn. A lot of people who speak Cantonese also speak Mandarin, less so the other way around. My Mandarin sucks. I can understand enough of it, but I speak like a bumpkin, so I generally stick with Cantonese. There are some DVDs, CDs and such that teach Cantonese, but the ones I've heard aren't much good. I read some news story awhile ago about being able to cheaply hire a live person overseas to practice/teach you a language online. That might be a good way to go, because you also get to set your own hours and learn at your pace.

[JessicaHavenLea]

Doesn't bother me. Taste the rainbow. *wink, wink*

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Variety is the spice of life.

[Bandit]

Having grown up in the sixties I am still amazed that race is any kind of issue at all.

My theory on black women. Culturally, black women are taught to be strong and fend for themselves......much like men in many cultures. Most men don't want a woman who is as strong and capable as he is. White women (and probably asian) have been conditioned to please men by making sure that they are just capable enough.

That's BS... white women conditioned to please men, while black women are taught to fend for themselves? Huh..... what vast repository of wisdom did this little caveat come from....





Bandit added to this post, 5 minutes and 43 seconds later...

Also I think that the majority of Asian / White interacial couples get a pass.. I think the real issue comes down to black and white.. as there is still alot of racial tension in the United States..

I'm also sure that there is probably more than one person in this forum on this particular thread that is agreeing just so as not to go against the grain.. However, I also theorize that it's easy to say "I have no problem with interacial marriages etc.. , when speaking about someone else, or a situation that may not affect you.."

Yet, how would you feel if your son or daughter brought home a "Black Man, or Woman"?
In an attempt to really get some feelings on this, and to see how many of you have the stones to actually be honest... let's have some answers...

[mkay]

In an attempt to really get some feelings on this, and to see how many of you have the stones to actually be honest... let's have some answers...

If you think people are lying, how would they "prove" they're not? And why would someone lie up till this point and suddenly reveal themselves to you?

[rwyatt365]

My little addition to "the mix"; to me, a person that is hung up on race as a prerequisite has imposed some severe limitations on their choices, and perhaps might pass up some wonderful growth opportunities. The younger generations especially cannot afford to be so parochial in today's international, cross-cultural environment. This is no time to restrict yourself.
I try to cross racial lines sometimes. I cruise down Main Street blastin' some Barry but all I get from the African Americans I see are strange looks. So what if it's Barry Manilow? The man's got soul.
My guess is that you didn't have enough bass (playing directly into the stereotype).

Yes, I think Asian-white couples are less likely to experience negativity, for various reasons. I think it might be harder for some other mixed couples. I say that because I have black guy friends whom I go out with socially. As one of them pointed out to me on the East Coast when we'd walk to lunch and such, we'd get dirty looks from black women, presumably because there's a shortage of datable black men. I, often being my oblivious N self, didn't notice till he mentioned it, lol.
My pet peeve with that supposition is that far too many black women use that same line of reasoning to justify dating/marrying non-Blacks. (Let's see, you hate on a black man for not being with a black woman 'cause there's not enough "good black men" and yet you date a non-black man 'cause there's not enough "good black men" - which way do you want it sista?)

Obviously I can't speak for black women, lol, but I have black women friends who've basically given up on dating. They're smart, accomplished, attractive and kind -- heck, I'd date them if I were a guy. But they don't get asked out by other races, and they say they rarely get asked out by black men, who seem to be freer to date outside their race and age ranges.
It's called the "I don't need no man" syndrome - where the black woman intimidates and emasculates men in order to exert her superiority above her femininity ("I am woman, hear me roar - DAMMIT!"). All men, especially black men, will bow down before her obvious mental, intellectual, and physical attributes. Then, they wonder why no one wants to date them (they're 'fraid of you!!). So they sneer at any black man that dates non-blacks because he obviously doesn't realize what they're missing - being henpecked, verbally castrated, denigrated, superceded and generally ridiculed.
Do I sound bitter?

My theory on black women. Culturally, black women are taught to be strong and fend for themselves......much like men in many cultures. Most men don't want a woman who is as strong and capable as he is. White women (and probably asian) have been conditioned to please men by making sure that they are just capable enough.
That's BS... white women conditioned to please men, while black women are taught to fend for themselves? Huh..... what vast repository of wisdom did this little caveat come from....
I don't know about white women, but the black woman part is pretty accurate in my 50+ years of experience with black women (starting with my mother).

I am a product of an interracial marriage. I have met people who view me as something close to a traitor because my father is black, and because of my dark skin, I should do more "black" things. For example, I have been told (by my cousin) that I like "white" things because I listen to Classical music instead of R&B.
Same here (although both of my parents are black). I listened to Zeppelin, The Stones and Hendrix in the 70's and was ostracized for it. I didn't care for James Brown, or the Temptations and was ridiculed fot it. My room mates made me put on headphones when I put on Beethoven, or Handel - I was a source of embarassment to them. Music defines you (to some degree) and I was an anomaly.


I'm also sure that there is probably more than one person in this forum on this particular thread that is agreeing just so as not to go against the grain.. However, I also theorize that it's easy to say "I have no problem with interacial marriages etc.. , when speaking about someone else, or a situation that may not affect you.."

Yet, how would you feel if your son or daughter brought home a "Black Man, or Woman"?
In an attempt to really get some feelings on this, and to see how many of you have the stones to actually be honest... let's have some answers...
My son HAS brought home a white girlfriend and we welcomed her with open arms. Even after they broke up, my wife still stays in contact. She is not the first non-white mate that has been in the faminly and no one bats an eye. I don't know how different it is within other families, but we practice what we preach in my house.

[mkay]

It's called the "I don't need no man" syndrome - where the black woman intimidates and emasculates men in order to exert her superiority above her femininity ("I am woman, hear me roar - DAMMIT!"). All men, especially black men, will bow down before her obvious mental, intellectual, and physical attributes. Then, they wonder why no one wants to date them (they're 'fraid of you!!). So they sneer at any black man that dates non-blacks because he obviously doesn't realize what they're missing - being henpecked, verbally castrated, denigrated, superceded and generally ridiculed.
Do I sound bitter?

I can only speak to my experience with black women friends. The specific ones who've given up on dating seem traditional to me -- very church-going, family-oriented and willing to go along with traditional gender roles. There are two in particular who seem quite humble; I can't imagine them making anyone -- man or woman -- afraid of them (lol) unless they're insecure about being with someone educated and professionally successful. But I agree that they don't "need" a man, so I doubt they'd settle for any man, no matter his race.

[muguly]

I think about it as a way to eradicate racism and make humankind genetically stronger on a long term. I admit this is just wishful thinking.

Wiser words were never spoken.

[Jgib5328]

I'm also sure that there is probably more than one person in this forum on this particular thread that is agreeing just so as not to go against the grain.. However, I also theorize that it's easy to say "I have no problem with interacial marriages etc.. , when speaking about someone else, or a situation that may not affect you.."

Yet, how would you feel if your son or daughter brought home a "Black Man, or Woman"?
In an attempt to really get some feelings on this, and to see how many of you have the stones to actually be honest... let's have some answers...

Bandit definitely has a point. Everyone says that they are open-minded about things, but when the situation actually arises, they suddenly aren't so open- minded. If a son or daughter brought home a member of a different race, usually the parents won't be too accepting. They just don't want their kids mixing, but they believe it's ok for other people's sons and daughters to do it, just not theres. They don't have to be racist or anything, I'm not saying that, but I'm saying that they aren't going to be as accepting of it.

Bandit is also right about people feeling pressured to support something because other people are. It also frustrates me when everyone just supports something and people are afraid to speak their mind about something because they don't want people to think badly of them, not saying that this is the case here, but in general.

[mkay]

Bandit definitely has a point. Everyone says that they are open-minded about things, but when the situation actually arises, they suddenly aren't so open- minded. If a son or daughter brought home a member of a different race, usually the parents won't be too accepting. They just don't want their kids mixing, but they believe it's ok for other people's sons and daughters to do it, just not theres. They don't have to be racist or anything, I'm not saying that, but I'm saying that they aren't going to be as accepting of it.

Bandit is also right about people feeling pressured to support something because other people are. It also frustrates me when everyone just supports something and people are afraid to speak their mind about something because they don't want people to think badly of them, not saying that this is the case here, but in general.

Not that there aren't racists in the world, but I don't think using the parent example necessarily reflects racism. (I don't have children, don't plan any, so I can only imagine.) It seems that a lot of parental instinct is (over)protective. You might not be thrilled about your kid marrying out of your race not because you are a racist, but because you know there are racists out in the world and you don't want your kid (and his/her kids) to suffer. I figure it's along the lines of parents who joke that their kids will never date -- they worry about all the ways their kids can be hurt.

Imagining myself a parent, I figure my instinct would be to worry about my kid being hurt. Then I'd imagine myself in my kid's place and know that I would not want my parents to keep trying to protect me my whole life. So I imagine that I would welcome whomever my kid loved (no matter his/her race), keep worrying about their welfare and hope for the best.

I figure people will always find ways to hate, to draw distinctions. So I don't expect racism to disappear. But we've made progress, and I figure we'll keep heading in that direction.

[Jgib5328]

Not that there aren't racists in the world, but I don't think using the parent example necessarily reflects racism. (I don't have children, don't plan any, so I can only imagine.) It seems that a lot of parental instinct is (over)protective. You might not be thrilled about your kid marrying out of your race not because you are a racist, but because you know there are racists out in the world and you don't want your kid (and his/her kids) to suffer. I figure it's along the lines of parents who joke that their kids will never date -- they worry about all the ways their kids can be hurt.

Imagining myself a parent, I figure my instinct would be to worry about my kid being hurt. Then I'd imagine myself in my kid's place and know that I would not want my parents to keep trying to protect me my whole life. So I imagine that I would welcome whomever my kid loved (no matter his/her race), keep worrying about their welfare and hope for the best.

I figure people will always find ways to hate, to draw distinctions. So I don't expect racism to disappear. But we've made progress, and I figure we'll keep heading in that direction.

Yeah it's definitely not racism, it's just the parental instinct.

Racism won't be as rampant, but it'll still be there forever. Hatred, discrimination, oppression will always exist in this world, no matter what.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

As for me.............I encourage my girls to go against the grain and stand up for what they believe is right. Racism is not right. The best way to protect your children is to teach them how to protect themselves. This does not involve conforming, but blazing your own trail come hell or high water. Learning to stand strong in the face of general oppostion.

If my girls dated outside their race (white with a drop of native somewhere) I would look at the guy like I do every other guy.............with a bit of skepticism and a judging eye. I prefer to judge a person "based on the content of their character.........not on the color of their skin."

[Beery Swine]

Oy, christ, I can't believe this thread even exists. The idea of separate human races was created by humans in our scientific infancy and does not stand up to modern scientific scrutiny. Maybe, just maybe one could argue that Aborigines are significantly different genetically to qualify as their own race, though even that idea is tenuous at best.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Oy, christ, I can't believe this thread even exists. The idea of separate human races was created by humans in our scientific infancy and does not stand up to modern scientific scrutiny. Maybe, just maybe one could argue that Aborigines are significantly different genetically to qualify as their own race, though even that idea is tenuous at best.
Agreed.

The thread exists because racism exists.................even though it is just a social construct.

[Beery Swine]

Most people are fairly accepting in this day and age.

Not in the south. :(

As of Korean background, I was told that I should marry a Korean girl not to cause the 'blood-mixing' problem.

They're just lemmings trying to push you off the same cliff they fell from. Ignore them.

Obviously I can't speak for black women, lol, but I have black women friends who've basically given up on dating. They're smart, accomplished, attractive and kind -- heck, I'd date them if I were a guy. But they don't get asked out by other races, and they say they rarely get asked out by black men, who seem to be freer to date outside their race and age ranges.

...please tell them to ask this cracker out.
Yet, how would you feel if your son or daughter brought home a "Black Man, or Woman"?
In an attempt to really get some feelings on this, and to see how many of you have the stones to actually be honest... let's have some answers...

Is it 1981 in here or is it just me?

[Bandit]

Oy, christ, I can't believe this thread even exists. The idea of separate human races was created by humans in our scientific infancy and does not stand up to modern scientific scrutiny. Maybe, just maybe one could argue that Aborigines are significantly different genetically to qualify as their own race, though even that idea is tenuous at best.

Sorry I just had to chime in on this one, I was stationed in Australia for quite a while in the Marine Corps, RAF Base Tindel and some of the bomb ranges etc.. I have seen Aborigines up close and personal and they are the missing link..that they are perhaps a few thousand years behind the evolution of the rest of mankind.. In terms of (physical bone structure).. I watched numerous times as they would walk through town "barefoot, on lava Rock and hot asphalt (Ouch)", stop in the median of the highway and either sodomize each other "female providing oral copulation to male" or "strip naked and have sex in a city parks etc".. I mean their behavior was bizarre.. To make matters worse they are goverment subsidized with money so they have no need to better themselves, and basically roam like nomads, drinking and screwing wherever they please.. Really strange, Really Really strange, almost barbaric in nature, living on the outskirts of society.. more like an oddity than a part of it..

[Beery Swine]

I have seen Aborigines up close and personal and they are the missing link..that they are perhaps a few thousand years behind the evolution of the rest of mankind.

Um...I don't doubt what you saw, but the evolution bit doesn't make sense. There isn't a cookie-cutter mold that animals (including humans) are trying to fit in, they adapt to their environment/s. They wouldn't be evolutionarily behind us, rather, evolutionarily different from us.

[Bandit]

Still no one has answered negatively to the question... this is interesting..

This would lead to the theory that

a) This forum is totally exempt from the norms and averages of everyday society in terms of personalities and views of the members that comprise it. ie. Everyone in here is liberal and racially tolerant.

Which as we know in society is not true, as there are plenty of conservatives and racially intolerant people in society as well..

b) Or.. some of you are lying? and going with the herd so as not to be ostrisized..

Based on my observations of society and those that make it up, I would say the latter is probably the case..

Another interesting question for both the whites and blacks in the forum.. How many of you have ever used a racial slur? Not necessarily face to face with the individual in question, but perhaps have been jilted or seen some stereotypical behavior and said under your breath or even thought.. That Cracker, Look at that White Boy, or Friggin Nigger, etc..

Or how many have used the term "Nigger Rig it" when refering to doing a quick temporary repair of something?..

So the question is how many have used racial slurs? or will we again be a utopian forum devoid of individuals that could ever say such things, and thus immune from the averages that make up regular society?

[ScurvyRose]

I use the phrase "Jerry Rigg", had no idea it was a deviation from that, also use the Magyver, Bueler, Way to go Barnelli, etc... references quite frequently. Can you tell much I am a product of the 80's??!!

None of my feelings or opinions of people are based solely on race. If you are lucky enough to find someone to love, who loves you back and you are both happy, why the hell not! Go for it and I will envy what you have found.

I know this response is a bit simplistic in comparison to most of the other posts yet further eloquence would only say the same thing.

[Reon]

I have a tendency to use racial slurs but I don't use them to offend people. I try my best not to use Nigger because I don't want to be a hypocrite and say 'I can say it but you can't.'

[Mozzes]

Still no one has answered negatively to the question... this is interesting..

This would lead to the theory that

a) This forum is totally exempt from the norms and averages of everyday society in the personality and views of the members that comprise it. ie. Everyone in here is liberal and racially tolerant.

Which as we know in society is not true, as there are plenty of conservatives and racially intolerant people in society as well..

b) Or.. some of you are lying? and going with the herd so as not to be ostrisized..

Based on my observations of society and those that make it up, I would say the later is probably the case..

Another interesting question for both the whites and blacks in the forum.. How many of you have ever used a racial slur? Not necessarily face to face with the individual in question, but perhaps have been jilted or seen some stereotypical behavior and said under your breath or even thought.. That Cracker, Look at that White Boy, or Friggin Nigger, etc..

Or how many have used the term "Nigger Rig it" when refering to doing a quick temporary repair of something?..

So the question is how many have used racial slurs? or will we again be a utopian forum devoid of individuals that could ever say such things, and thus immune from the averages that make up regular society?

All of the above is possible. I like to think of myself as color-blind but who really knows what's simmering in my subconscious? I imagine a confluence of the individual and culture largely determine these attitudes. Perhaps many people here are highly racially tolerant because they were raised in a racially homogeneous setting. On the other hand several people also claim to come from or be a part of an interracial union. I'm a child of the south and the region isn't as racially harmonious as it might seem. Sure cats and dogs are living together and few people are shouting from the pulpit that the current state of things is going to lead us into ruin but at the same time I've encounter no few number of closet racists. Whatever the reason I've always found racism to leave a bitter taste in my psyche. Not that I've ever been reluctant tear people to pieces but the catalyst is usually one's behavior and not something as absurd as race. Culture may influence how we think but only the individual can chose how to act.

[Bandit]

Here is a list of racial terms, slurs, how many of you have used any of them?

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[ScurvyRose]

Intent, context and literal meaning of some of the more common terms would preemt it's use as a racial slur.

Had no idea the Beastie Boys were Jewish
Bed Time is 8pm prompt
Bee Keepers need to use smoke to prevent being stung
Betty Crocker, love her cook books
Big Mac's are an occasional treat
Bird shit is supposed to be good luck if you get hit with it
BLT - usually like mine toasted with turkey
BMW expensive car I can't afford
etc...

That list is excessive, and it appears that anyone can add whatever they would like.





ScurvyRose added to this post, 5 minutes and 8 seconds later...

Bohunk is a favorite of mine. It referes to a hot guy, ie, He's a big bohunk! Cold shower now!!

[mkay]

Still no one has answered negatively to the question... this is interesting..

This would lead to the theory that

a) This forum is totally exempt from the norms and averages of everyday society in terms of personalities and views of the members that comprise it. ie. Everyone in here is liberal and racially tolerant.

Which as we know in society is not true, as there are plenty of conservatives and racially intolerant people in society as well..

b) Or.. some of you are lying? and going with the herd so as not to be ostrisized..

Based on my observations of society and those that make it up, I would say the latter is probably the case.

Have you considered the possibility that racists might have not participated on this thread? Also, this forum seems to skew young; polls and such have shown that younger people are less likely to be racist, homophobic, etc.

[Homini Lupus]

I think the lack of "traditional" answers is more due to prevalent individualism rather than correctness or else. Race becomes a problem when in a society wich tries to find similarities among peoples in order to create a community and tends to exclude those who are likely to damage the internal bonds. If I am an individual, even if I prefer a given race, there's always the possibility to find out that I'm attracted by a representative of another race and there would be no reason not to follow my instinct. If I'm a member of the society (and care about what others think), many in my society are going to reprehend myself for my action, hence I have a reason to abandon my project and prefer only socially accepted races.

[rwyatt365]

To adress your questions, Bandit;
- Are the forum members mostly racially tolerant liberals, or are some just "fakin' it to make it"?

My guess is that since the forum is predominantly INTJ, and that type tends toward independant thought and reasoned solutions, that most members have made up their own minds independantly of the majority view. That does not make them liberals, but it might cause them to lean towards tolerance. This should not be too much of a surprise.

- How many members have used racial slurs and epithets?

I have, and probably will continue to, use the more common ones (that list you supplied was extensive, and I gave up after the B's) - primarily the N-word (which I apply equally to whites and blacks - I am an equal opportunity offender), and generally when referring to ignorant, trifling behavior in others. That word - to me - is a reference to behavior and not to race, and as such it not racially motivated (although I recognize it's racial origin).

But this thread was meant to explore the topic of inter-racial marriage, and not of racial slurs. I will suggest to the moderator that this portion of the thread be split off into it's own thread, where that topic can be explored in depth.

[Bandit]

Have you considered the possibility that racists might have not participated on this thread? Also, this forum seems to skew young; polls and such have shown that younger people are less likely to be racist, homophobic, etc.

Doubtful at best and I would argue that point intensely.. I believe that younger individuals would be much more prone to racism than those older and more mature. As they are not truly comfortable with themselves or where they fit in and can view expending hate against another race as a productive endevour, without having the maturity to rationalize that fact that no matter how much they hate, it will do nothing to change their own situation.

You see alot more young males, Black and White preaching and emulating hate than you do older ones.. Same for females, as they will do what is necessary to fit in and find love or acceptance, even embracing these hateful idealogies until they mature enough to understand and find themselves.

[Jgib5328]

Doubtful at best and I would argue that point intensely.. I believe that younger individuals would be much more prone to racism than those older and more mature. As they are not truly comfortable with themselves or where they fit in and can view expending hate against another race as a productive endevour, without having the maturity to rationalize that fact that no matter how much they hate, it will do nothing to change their own situation.

You see alot more young males, Black and White preaching and emulating hate than you do older ones.. Same for females, as they will do what is necessary to fit in and find love or acceptance, even embracing these hateful idealogies until they mature enough to understand and find themselves.

If you were a racist, why would you bother posting a viewpoint on an INTERNET FORUM, just to look like you weren't racist?

The young tend to be more liberal = more accepting in a general sense. They are a part of a newer generation, where racism has dwindled, like it has been historically.

[Bandit]

My guess is that since the forum is predominantly INTJ, and that type tends toward independant thought and reasoned solutions, that most members have made up their own minds independantly of the majority view. That does not make them liberals, but it might cause them to lean towards tolerance. This should not be too much of a surprise.

That would be reasonable, however I feel there are still a few sheep in here following the herd.. but for the majority that may well hold true..


But this thread was meant to explore the topic of inter-racial marriage, and not of racial slurs. I will suggest to the moderator that this portion of the thread be split off into it's own thread, where that topic can be explored in depth.

Disagree, as the particular make up and racial views of the individual would directly color their opinions on a mixed race relationship... You can't go around saying "nigger" and then censor yourself when you daughter brings home a black guy... you can't explain it away..

Take the following example little suzie, your blond haired blue eyed southern bell brings home a black guy.. We will name him "Robert" for the example.. He's articulate, well spoken and after they date a while you go out to a family dinner. So you all pile into the car and on the way to the restaraunt a car pulls out and cut's you off... You instinctively say... "That fucking nigger.." Now are you going to tell me that you are going to explain this to "Robert" by saying it's was his behavior that brought on the slur?... Or supose it's a white guy that pulls out in front of you.. again you say "That fucking nigger..", it still can't be explained away.. or you see a group of drug dealers on the side of the road "that just happen to be black".. you say.. "look at those niggers over there", again it can't be explained away due to the inherent racial nature of the term.. and thus your supposed racial tolerance to your daughters relationship comes into play..

So it is impossible to say that one is racially tolerant of mixed relationships while still using racially motivated terms..

I myself use the term from time to time as well, and we all try and rationalize it by saying that it only applies to the lesser 10% of that specific ethnicity, but no matter how we slice it the terminology has a racial connectation





Bandit added to this post, 5 minutes and 41 seconds later...

If you were a racist, why would you bother posting a viewpoint on an INTERNET FORUM, just to look like you weren't racist?

The young tend to be more liberal = more accepting in a general sense. They are a part of a newer generation, where racism has dwindled, like it has been historically.

RACIST is a HUGE word..... Saying that one does not accept or embrace interacial relationships does not make one a RACIST.. Ie.. you may not hate the race, but may dissaprove of the relationship between the two based upon ethnic or cultural differences related to race.. I don't think this would make one a RACIST in the traditional sense.

[Jgib5328]

RACIST is a HUGE word..... Saying that one does not accept or embrace interacial relationships does not make one a RACIST.. Ie.. you may not hate the race, but may dissaprove of the relationship between the two based upon ethnic or cultural differences related to race.. I don't think this would make one a RACIST in the traditional sense.

Relax, you said that you don't believe that there aren't any racists on this thread or the forum at least. Even so, why would "one who does not accept or embrace interracial relationships" bother posting the contrary opinion? Wouldn't it make more sense for them to ignore it if they didn't want their ideology exposed? Nobody would think anything of it if they didn't post here and plus why would someone care so much about another's opinion on an INTERNET FORUM?

[Reon]

Wow..I didn't think this thread would go in this direction but to Jgib - If you believed that interracial relationships were bad wouldn't you want to post your opinion and prove it right instead of just letting it go. Also if no one really cared about anyone's else opinion on an internet forum, wouldn't it be BETTER for them to post it here.

[Jgib5328]

Wow..I didn't think this thread would go in this direction but to Jgib - If you believed that interracial relationships were bad wouldn't you want to post your opinion and prove it right instead of just letting it go. Also if no one really cared about anyone's else opinion on an internet forum, wouldn't it be BETTER for them to post it here.

That's not what I mean. He's saying that out of everyone who supported interracial marriage here, at least some of them are lying about it to 'go with the herd'. My argument is, is that it wouldn't make sense for someone against it to bother posting in the affirmative just to fit in, when it'd be much easier to not post anything if they really cared about what others thought of him/her. He says that people would still post in the affirmative, despite their dissent.

[Bandit]

Relax, you said that you don't believe that there aren't any racists on this thread or the forum at least. Even so, why would "one who does not accept or embrace interracial relationships" bother posting the contrary opinion? Wouldn't it make more sense for them to ignore it if they didn't want their ideology exposed? Nobody would think anything of it if they didn't post here and plus why would someone care so much about another's opinion on an INTERNET FORUM?

200 Posts.... :-)

Since the title of this thread is "Interacial Relationships?" I would imagine this would be the place for an individual to post their opinions (either for or against) and debate the validity of their views in a mature and intellectual way..

Also going back to the line of thought that since this forum is primarily comprised of INTJ, whom are independent thinkers and thus devoid of social constraints "such as caring about other opinions of them", I would imagine that people would be more than apt to "Show their true colors".. However this is not the case.. Interesting..





Bandit added to this post, 3 minutes and 2 seconds later...

Wow..I didn't think this thread would go in this direction but to Jgib - If you believed that interracial relationships were bad wouldn't you want to post your opinion and prove it right instead of just letting it go. Also if no one really cared about anyone's else opinion on an internet forum, wouldn't it be BETTER for them to post it here.

Agreed, since the internet provides annominity.. It would stand to reason that even the "Sheep" would be comfortable enough to state their true opinions without their neighbor, friends etc.. knowing what their true views are...

[Jgib5328]

Bandit,

Your argument(s) = Not everyone agrees with the prevailing opinion, but will post their support of it anyways to 'go with the herd'.

My argument= That makes no sense, it'd be more logical for that kind of person to ignore or refrain from posting that kind of thread. Why would they show support to an opinion that they don't agree with?

[rwyatt365]

Disagree, as the particular make up and racial views of the individual would directly color their opinions on a mixed race relationship... You can't go around saying "nigger" and then censor yourself when you daughter brings home a black guy... you can't explain it away..
But I contend that the thread is about the comfort with interracial relationships, and not who calls whom what. Also, if I used "nigger" then I wouldn't censor myself around anyone - white, black, or other.

Take the following example little suzie, your blond haired blue eyed southern bell brings home a black guy.. We will name him "Robert" for the example.. He's articulate, well spoken and after they date a while you go out to a family dinner. So you all pile into the car and on the way to the restaraunt a car pulls out and cut's you off... You instinctively say... "That fucking nigger.." Now are you going to tell me that you are going to explain this to "Robert" by saying it's was his behavior that brought on the slur?... Or supose it's a white guy that pulls out in front of you.. again you say "That fucking nigger..", it still can't be explained away.. or you see a group of drug dealers on the side of the road "that just happen to be black".. you say.. "look at those niggers over there", again it can't be explained away due to the inherent racial nature of the term.. and thus your supposed racial tolerance to your daughters relationship comes into play..
Assuming I was white (which I'm not), and operating according to your scenario as laid out I am confident that I would say (in both cases), "That stupid dumbass!", when referring to the driver - as his driving indicates (to me) that he/she lacks the appropriate level of intelligence to adequately operate a motor vehicle. When observing what I would take to be a group of drug dealers I would call them "Dope-heads", as my assumption of their occupation would drive my comment.

What I'm saying is that I try very hard to be precise when making statements like that - even with a split-second response. If, and when I use the word "nigger", it's used as "nigger-ish" and describes a behavior ("Emenem just bought a gold-plated Escalade with diamond encrusted wheels, now that's just niggerish."). Not that he is acting black by doing that, but that doing that is an ignorant waste of money in my opinion. Yes, I recognize the root of the phrase and I would attempt to use other means of expressing that same sentiment. But I would inform "Robert" and anyone else, for that matter, that "niggerish" is a state of mind and not a fact of heredity. That anyone can be "niggerish", even me.

Then Suzie, Robert and I would all laugh and make redneck jokes.
RACIST is a HUGE word..... Saying that one does not accept or embrace interacial relationships does not make one a RACIST.. Ie.. you may not hate the race, but may dissaprove of the relationship between the two based upon ethnic or cultural differences related to race.. I don't think this would make one a RACIST in the traditional sense.
As race is a social construct, and is loosely based on skin color, ethnic identity, language, culture, etc...one could easily argue that disapproval of an interracial relationship based on culture is indeed racist. The term is too broad, and too poorly defined to be useful.

PS - You seem attached to the word "Nigger". Are you just trying to be provocative?

[Reon]

Perhaps a better thread would be: What makes an race and why do we use it to discriminate against each other although we have already touched on part of it.

Also why is nationalism separated from race but we have terms like African American and such.

[Bratwurst]

I believe there are differences in intelligence aswell as in behaviour among the different groups of people of the earth. It's all in the genes. Therefore I believe people should be carefull how they mix their genes. I'd for example never mix with a south african or aboriginal woman.

"RACIST!! Stop hating!!"

I'm just an INTJ intelligence fascist. It has nothing to do with hatred. :toff:

[Bandit]

But I contend that the thread is about the comfort with interracial relationships, and not who calls whom what. Also, if I used "nigger" then I wouldn't censor myself around anyone - white, black, or other.

You would not censor yourself? See below:

Assuming I was white (which I'm not), and operating according to your scenario as laid out I am confident that I would say (in both cases), "That stupid dumbass!", when referring to the driver - as his driving indicates (to me) that he/she lacks the appropriate level of intelligence to adequately operate a motor vehicle. When observing what I would take to be a group of drug dealers I would call them "Dope-heads", as my assumption of their occupation would drive my comment.


Was not trying to imply you were white..


PS - You seem attached to the word "Nigger". Are you just trying to be provocative?

Not particularly, it just however seems to be the term most synonymous with racism.. and probably makes the debate easier to understand..





Bandit added to this post, 1 minutes and 19 seconds later...

Bandit,

Your argument(s) = Not everyone agrees with the prevailing opinion, but will post their support of it anyways to 'go with the herd'.

My argument= That makes no sense, it'd be more logical for that kind of person to ignore or refrain from posting that kind of thread. Why would they show support to an opinion that they don't agree with?

Ok, Fair enough..

My argument, people that spew hatred generally try to be outspoken, thus I find it interesting that they would refrain from posting their opinions..

[Neuro]

Still no one has answered negatively to the question... this is interesting..

This would lead to the theory that

a) This forum is totally exempt from the norms and averages of everyday society in terms of personalities and views of the members that comprise it. ie. Everyone in here is liberal and racially tolerant.

Which as we know in society is not true, as there are plenty of conservatives and racially intolerant people in society as well..

b) Or.. some of you are lying? and going with the herd so as not to be ostrisized..

Based on my observations of society and those that make it up, I would say the latter is probably the case..

My post (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) wasn't exactly lauding the whole idea. :/

I don't think anyone is lying. Many of them probably haven't given it that much thought or better yet had real life exposure to the issue but yeah, I think it's more likely that those with contrary opinions are just staying out of it. It is generally wise to do so. People usually have their mind made up about this kind of thing beforehand and are not open to any real discussion. Just like religion. Threads turn into flame wars and become locked. It's a bummer usually.

Still, some thoughts. Do you really think erasing all ethnic diversity is going to make for a peaceful, tolerant place? Remember, people can be pitted against each other for an endless list of reasons. I think this wish is foolish because all it does is give people a short term emotional/moral boost while entire ethnic groups and cultures that have been developing over as long as hundreds of thousands or 1 million plus years in some cases.

It also will never work. The Americas have some chance of total racial 'equalization' but as it stands now there are still strong informal segregation in many different forms. Europe is being flooded with immigrants but it is even less likely for any change in majority to happen for a long time. Pretty much every other place in world including the most populist nation, China, are ethno-centrist or at the very least xenophobic. Japan, Russia, most of eastern Europe, Africa, the Middle East...while the west is tripping over itself to keep PC and commits cultural suicide in the process, all these other places keep going same as before. They largely don't give a damn about western views on such matters. Do you really wholesale mixing and indefinite immigration is going to give us some kind of killer edge in the world?

This is really more about multiculturalism but race is connected with it as well for a lot (most?) people. Who cares what people think for their own personal lives. The long term collective effects are what we should be discussing.

[Reon]

I believe there are differences in intelligence aswell as in behaviour among the different groups of people of the earth. It's all in the genes. Therefore I believe people should be carefull how they mix their genes. I'd for example never mix with a south african or aboriginal woman.

"RACIST!! Stop hating!!"

I'm just an INTJ intelligence fascist. It has nothing to do with hatred. :toff:

I'll bite because I can't tell if your joking or not >>

Differences in intelligence and behavior - I don't get this one personally, where you are raised (which also influences your behavior) and the educational opportunities you have seem to be more relevant than what Race you are. Also, how would you describe differences in intelligence?

Mixing genes - What race types do you think would be incompatible? Having a mixed child gives them better immunity towards certainty diseases.

[mkay]

Doubtful at best and I would argue that point intensely.. I believe that younger individuals would be much more prone to racism than those older and more mature. As they are not truly comfortable with themselves or where they fit in and can view expending hate against another race as a productive endevour, without having the maturity to rationalize that fact that no matter how much they hate, it will do nothing to change their own situation.

You see alot more young males, Black and White preaching and emulating hate than you do older ones.. Same for females, as they will do what is necessary to fit in and find love or acceptance, even embracing these hateful idealogies until they mature enough to understand and find themselves.

"Doubtful at best" -- well, you can doubt what you want, lol.

Racists tend to be people who don't think for themselves, people who overgeneralize. It seems that INTJs on this forum value individual thinking, so maybe they've come to their own logical conclusions about race. It seems you're very set on the idea that at least some posters are lying. Shrug. Have it your way.

[void]

Perhaps a better thread would be: What makes an race and why do we use it to discriminate against each other although we have already touched on part of it.

Also why is nationalism separated from race but we have terms like African American and such.

Stop being niggardly in your efforts and get cracking on such a thread. Meanwhile I shall go get myself a wop-er. On second thought, perhaps I might get too much gook on my face while eating it. I'll settle for some limey chips instead.

[Antisocialite]

Agreed.

The thread exists because racism exists.................even though it is just a social construct.

Race is a social construct. Racism is a problem that affects a person's life on many levels.

[Reon]

Vaguely Dissatisfied: I don't re-call saying that racism didn't exist unless i'm missing something...

[Shaz]

my brother is married to a Japanese girl. They live in Tokyo. They haven't had kids yet (for different reasons) but from what I could gather it wouldn't be easy for a little franco-japanese kid in a society in which fitting in the group is so important. There seems to be a lot of racism there, in little kids as well. I wonder if they are any Japanese people on this forum that would know better about that.

I personally like Asian guys a lot :loveeyes:

[replicant]

my brother is married to a Japanese girl. They live in Tokyo. They haven't had kids yet (for different reasons) but from what I could gather it wouldn't be easy for a little franco-japanese kid in a society in which fitting in the group is so important. There seems to be a lot of racism there, in little kids as well. I wonder if they are any Japanese people on this forum that would know better about that.

I personally like Asian guys a lot :loveeyes:

I think this document may help shed some light on the subject.

Koreans in Japan (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

[vaguely dissatisfied]

That's BS... white women conditioned to please men, while black women are taught to fend for themselves? Huh..... what vast repository of wisdom did this little caveat come from....





Bandit added to this post, 5 minutes and 43 seconds later...

Also I think that the majority of Asian / White interacial couples get a pass.. I think the real issue comes down to black and white.. as there is still alot of racial tension in the United States..

I'm also sure that there is probably more than one person in this forum on this particular thread that is agreeing just so as not to go against the grain.. However, I also theorize that it's easy to say "I have no problem with interacial marriages etc.. , when speaking about someone else, or a situation that may not affect you.."

Yet, how would you feel if your son or daughter brought home a "Black Man, or Woman"?
In an attempt to really get some feelings on this, and to see how many of you have the stones to actually be honest... let's have some answers...
I'm pretty sure I said................'my theory'.................

I have to wonder what vast repository of wisdom, knowledge, understanding, comprehension ............ the majority of your comments are based on?

Do you think a black man growing up and living with black women for the majority of his life might know more than you about the subject? Don't tell me............of course you don't.

"I don't know about white women, but the black woman part is pretty accurate in my 50+ years of experience with black women (starting with my mother)."





vaguely dissatisfied added to this post, 5 minutes and 11 seconds later...

Vaguely Dissatisfied: I don't re-call saying that racism didn't exist unless i'm missing something...
That comment was in response to Beery Swine's comment.

[Reon]

Originally Posted by Bandit View Post
That's BS... white women conditioned to please men, while black women are taught to fend for themselves? Huh..... what vast repository of wisdom did this little caveat come from....





Bandit added to this post, 5 minutes and 43 seconds later...

Also I think that the majority of Asian / White interacial couples get a pass.. I think the real issue comes down to black and white.. as there is still alot of racial tension in the United States..

I'm also sure that there is probably more than one person in this forum on this particular thread that is agreeing just so as not to go against the grain.. However, I also theorize that it's easy to say "I have no problem with interacial marriages etc.. , when speaking about someone else, or a situation that may not affect you.."

Yet, how would you feel if your son or daughter brought home a "Black Man, or Woman"?
In an attempt to really get some feelings on this, and to see how many of you have the stones to ee how many of you have the stones to

(I can't find this post for some reason)

I am black but I have to agree with the statement that some/most black women are brought up to fend for themselves, however, so are some White Women.

I'm 16 and have no children and won't have any for a long time, but, I will judge my child's boyfriends/girlfriends on their characters, not their race. I haven't brought home a white girl to my dad, but he knows that I have dated white girls (not so sure about my mom, but if she does know, she's ok with it) and the only advice he gave me is that as long as I love the girl I bring home, he wouldn't have a problem with it although he is a bit on the racist side.

[Bratwurst]

I'll bite because I can't tell if your joking or not >>

Differences in intelligence and behavior - I don't get this one personally, where you are raised (which also influences your behavior) and the educational opportunities you have seem to be more relevant than what Race you are. Also, how would you describe differences in intelligence?

Mixing genes - What race types do you think would be incompatible? Having a mixed child gives them better immunity towards certainty diseases.

Intelligence can be defined as the G-factor. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Differences in average intelligence between groups can be described as a long term consequence of struggle against nature and the competition between humans. Different envoirments benefit different traits.

I'm not going to have an argument about this because people tend to get emotional and go on debating forever. I'll describe two simplified ways to look at it:

1. The model based on social construction. It says all people are born the same, almost like blank pages. Then your get shaped by the envoirment you grow up in. Therefore all people have the same "value". Growing up in a western country, this is what you taught from birth by the school and the media.

2. The model based on genetics. It says the most important factor for your personality, behaviour and intelligence is in your genes. That most of the differences between people and races can be described by genetical differences in average intelligence aswell as behaviour.

I believe in nr2 while you believe in nr1. There are a lot of smart theories supporting both cases, so it comes all down to what you intuitively feel is correct. No hard feelings. :)

[Reon]

[

Intelligence can be defined as the G-factor. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Differences in average intelligence between groups can be described as a long term consequence of struggle against nature and the competition between humans. Different envoirments benefit different traits.

I'm not going to have an argument about this because people tend to get emotional and go on debating forever. I'll describe two simplified ways to look at it:

1. The model based on social construction. It says all people are born the same, almost like blank pages. Then your get shaped by the envoirment you grow up in. Therefore all people have the same "value". Growing up in a western country, this is what you taught from birth by the school and the media.

2. The model based on genetics. It says the most important factor for your personality, behaviour and intelligence is in your genes. That most of the differences between people and races can be described by genetical differences in average intelligence aswell as behaviour.

I believe in nr2 while you believe in nr1. There are a lot of smart theories supporting both cases, so it comes all down to what you intuitively feel is correct. No hard feelings. :)

I just find nr2 interesting since I read an article recently where a scientist had 'proven' black people 'are' different than white people intelligence wise. Last thing I know it went to some Human equality group (I forgot the exact name and acronymn )

Personally it doesn't bother me if intelligence is genetic or social construction, I just hope that if it 'is' proven to be genetic that people will just see if the ideas work, instead of assuming that since the person is of a certain race, her/his idea is not worth exploring.

On another note if intelligence is genetic, how does it work when it comes to interracial fornication? Brain wise would you consider the brain of two or three interracial relationships (son's son's son if didn't make it clear) the brain of a 'white' child.

[rahdam]

Going shallow here:
I'm for it; mixed race children are usually very good looking.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Going shallow here:
I'm for it; mixed race children are usually very good looking.
Some are and some are not. Just like every other group.

[void]

Going shallow here:
I'm for it; mixed race children are usually very good looking.

In my experience, mixed race offspring* are statistically more sexually attractive than homogeneous ones. Sure, you get both the beautiful and the ugly. But based on my anecdotal evidence, the beautiful : ugly ratio is noticeably higher in the case of mixed offspring. Many of the world's top supermodels are also of mixed descent, so take that for what it's worth.


* Trying to avoid the word "children" for fear of being labeled a pedophile