INTJ jokes

[Ijz]

No need for further explanation. Put all your INTJ jokes in here ;D
Here's some to start off with. I know they are a bit lame but I can't think of anything better at the moment :P

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
Because he's GOD.

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
To show the chicken that when the road is crossed at a more efficient angle
it would have saved more than 0.3 seconds travel time, JEEEEEEZZZZ??!?

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
To get away from all the F chickens on his side of the road.

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
To prove Einstein wrong.

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
Because he's a big fan of KFC.

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
To meet the 5 other INTJ's. ;)

[Firelie]

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
To show the chicken that when the road is crossed at a more efficient angle
it would have saved more than 0.3 seconds travel time, JEEEEEEZZZZ??!?


Haha, I liked that one.

[Ijz]

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
To show the chicken that when the road is crossed at a more efficient angle
it would have saved more than 0.3 seconds travel time, JEEEEEEZZZZ??!?

Haha, I liked that one.
I'm glad you like it, at least I got one right :D

[dayguard]

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
To show the chicken that when the road is crossed at a more efficient angle
it would have saved more than 0.3 seconds travel time, JEEEEEEZZZZ??!?

HAHA!! I consciously do this.... not the show the chicken part though.

[mind_wander]

No need for further explanation. Put all your INTJ jokes in here *;D
Here's some to start off with. I know they are a bit lame but I can't think of anything better at the moment *:P

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
Because he's GOD.

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
Because he's a big fan of KFC.

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
To meet the 5 other INTJ's. *;)
Now thats funny.

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
Because someone is annoying me, so please go away. INTJ defensive mechanism is turned on, ok alone time. Takes out cellphone and call up other INTJ's on ways to get rid of this person.

[deicruxified]

my intj bud way back in highscool

intj: whacks seatmate's head with a notebook
guy: why did you do that?
intj: it wasn't me you stupid idiot
guy: i saw you!
intj: well if you saw me you should've evaded... stupid idiot *whacks notebook on seatmate's head again.

-----------

me yesterday with boss

boss: *looks out at the window... grey and gloomy sky plus lightning flashes* is it raining?
me: it should not rain
boss: the clouds are grey so i think it's gonna rain
me: it should not rain
boss: i'm asking you if it's raining ok?
me: regardless, i'd still like to say it should not rain.. positive thinking?
boss: whatever...

boss walks away and comes back after 20 minutes

boss: you told me a while a go it's not raining but it did rain! i forgot to bring my umbrella
intj: oh really? so it did rain... shucks
boss: i believed you... you said it should not rain! now i'm wet and it's your fault
intj: oh no... it's actually you're fault for being so stupid and gullible
boss: *points finger at me* i'll talk to you later

-------------------------

i just found this over the net. i do think the the dad is an intj lol

-------------

A country boy goes off to college. When he goes home for Spring Break, he takes his girl friend with him. That first night at the supper table, he dad said, "Son, I want to talk to you out at the barn after we finish eating."

After supper, they go out to the barn. Dad looks the boy in the eye and said, "I noticed your girl has a little tummy on her. She wouldn't happen to be pregnant, would she?"

The boy replied, "Yes, Dad, she is. But we're going to get married right after school lets out for the summer."

"How could you do this? You could ruin your whole future!"

"Well, Dad, it's gonna be OK. I just did what you always taught me."

"And what is that, may I ask?"

"You always taught me to try on a pair of overalls before I bought them to make sure they fit."

"Well, I might have taught you that, but I didn't teach you to shit in 'em so that you'd have to buy 'em!"

[thegnat]

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
Because he's a big fan of KFC.


Am I the only one with a morbid sense of humor? I found this freaking hilarious!

Dei, yours are great too!

[mind_wander]

lol, how do you know I go to KFC?

[rwyatt365]

A country boy goes off to college. When he goes home for Spring Break, he takes his girl friend with him. That first night at the supper table, he dad said, "Son, I want to talk to you out at the barn after we finish eating."

After supper, they go out to the barn. Dad looks the boy in the eye and said, "I noticed your girl has a little tummy on her. She wouldn't happen to be pregnant, would she?"

The boy replied, "Yes, Dad, she is. But we're going to get married right after school lets out for the summer."

"How could you do this? You could ruin your whole future!"

"Well, Dad, it's gonna be OK. I just did what you always taught me."

"And what is that, may I ask?"

"You always taught me to try on a pair of overalls before I bought them to make sure they fit."

"Well, I might have taught you that, but I didn't teach you to shit in 'em so that you'd have to buy 'em!"
Too funny! ;D

[orange]

fun stuff :)

[Ijz]

my intj bud way back in highscool
me yesterday with boss

boss: *looks out at the window... grey and gloomy sky plus lightning flashes* is it raining?
me: it should not rain
boss: the clouds are grey so i think it's gonna rain
me: it should not rain
boss: i'm asking you if it's raining ok?
me: regardless, i'd still like to say it should not rain.. positive thinking?
boss: whatever...

boss walks away and comes back after 20 minutes

boss: you told me a while a go it's not raining but it did rain! i forgot to bring my umbrella
intj: oh really? so it did rain... shucks
boss: i believed you... you said it should not rain! now i'm wet and it's your fault
intj: oh no... it's actually you're fault for being so stupid and gullible
boss: *points finger at me* i'll talk to you later

ROFL, you got balls ;D ;D
I wouldn't dare talking to my boss that way, but then again he treats me with respect so I don't need to.
Can't wait for the sequel ;)

[deicruxified]

my intj bud way back in highscool
me yesterday with boss

boss: *looks out at the window... grey and gloomy sky plus lightning flashes* is it raining?
me: it should not rain
boss: the clouds are grey so i think it's gonna rain
me: it should not rain
boss: i'm asking you if it's raining ok?
me: regardless, i'd still like to say it should not rain.. positive thinking?
boss: whatever...

boss walks away and comes back after 20 minutes

boss: you told me a while a go it's not raining but it did rain! i forgot to bring my umbrella
intj: oh really? so it did rain... shucks
boss: i believed you... you said it should not rain! now i'm wet and it's your fault
intj: oh no... it's actually you're fault for being so stupid and gullible
boss: *points finger at me* i'll talk to you later

ROFL, you got balls ;D *;D
I wouldn't dare talking to my boss that way, but then again he treats me with respect so I don't need to.
Can't wait for the sequel *;)
i got more of em since i got hired in this company... i'm the only intj here and they're having a difficult time identifiying if i'm serious or sarcastic.... and they believe me... always

@thegnat: thanks... i'll post more when i got time and as soon as my boss does anything stupid again

[deicruxified]

ok here's one with my diving buds while we are buying souvenir tee's. i bought a lot for the family

guy: *talks to salesgurl* the reason why she's buying a lot of tee's is because she's lazy to wash all her clothes

*salgesgurl chuckles*

me: oh yes... i do admire your dedication in your favorite household chore. and i think your undies' garters are a perfect addition to the corral reef.

[aude]

No need for further explanation. Put all your INTJ jokes in here ;D
Here's some to start off with. I know they are a bit lame but I can't think of anything better at the moment :P

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
Because he's GOD.

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
Because he's a big fan of KFC.

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
To meet the 5 other INTJ's. ;)
Now thats funny.

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
Because someone is annoying me, so please go away. INTJ defensive mechanism is turned on, ok alone time. Takes out cellphone and call up other INTJ's on ways to get rid of this person.


Intj with a cellphone for personal use :-? . Just joshing :)

[Riverratt]

Why did the INTJ cross the road.

To get away from all those extroverts and their damned feelings.

[deicruxified]

why did the intkj crossed the road?

because it says green for pedestrians stupid idiot

[Charlie Mc.]

One of my favorite jokes,
One of my friends tells someone to ask me if I am an orange.
When they do I look at them like they must be incredibly stupid and say "No"
Cracks me up everytime

[deoFusion]

me yesterday with boss

boss: *looks out at the window... grey and gloomy sky plus lightning flashes* is it raining?
me: it should not rain
boss: the clouds are grey so i think it's gonna rain
me: it should not rain
boss: i'm asking you if it's raining ok?
me: regardless, i'd still like to say it should not rain.. positive thinking?
boss: whatever...

boss walks away and comes back after 20 minutes

boss: you told me a while a go it's not raining but it did rain! i forgot to bring my umbrella
intj: oh really? so it did rain... shucks
boss: i believed you... you said it should not rain! now i'm wet and it's your fault
intj: oh no... it's actually you're fault for being so stupid and gullible
boss: *points finger at me* i'll talk to you later


Haha :)

[elsdfr]

q: Why are jellybeans yellow?

a: Because motorbikes don't have doors.


I made that up in high school. I loved the look on peoples faces just as much as the joke. I'm not even sure its a joke to be honest, it just made me laugh. Maybe its a joke for INTJs?

Now I think about it you could make these up all day if you wanted.

[Ijz]

q: Why are jellybeans yellow?

a: Because motorbikes don't have doors.


I made that up in high school. I loved the look on peoples faces just as much as the joke. I'm not even sure its a joke to be honest, it just made me laugh. Maybe its a joke for INTJs?

Now I think about it you could make these up all day if you wanted.

Hehe, your conclusion made me laugh :)

[thegnat]

this joke is edited by me:

A man, complaining of headaches, entered a hospital for diagnostic tests. A doctor examined the results for a brain scan and told the patient, "I have bad news and good news for you. The bad news is that you have a serious brain disease and will die without treatment. The good news is that this hospital has developed a new procedure for brain transplants and due to a car accident this morning two 'fresh' brains are available: one is from a taxi driver and the other is from an INTJ. The brain of the taxi driver costs $225,000, while that of the INTJ is only $29.95." Puzzled, the patient asked, "Why is the INTJ's brain was so much cheaper?" The doctor replied, "It's used."

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the original can be found there.

[mind_wander]

lol, "The INTJ brain is used." That is so true :)

[rwyatt365]

"INTJ brain-power - ACTIVATE!"

[thecraig]

q: Why are jellybeans yellow?

a: Because motorbikes don't have doors.


I made that up in high school. I loved the look on peoples faces just as much as the joke. I'm not even sure its a joke to be honest, it just made me laugh. Maybe its a joke for INTJs?

Now I think about it you could make these up all day if you wanted.

I used to tell this one for the same reason;

Q: If your riding down the road on a four door motorcycle and one door falls off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? (This question is asked very quickly so that most people don't catch on to the fact that not only do motorcycles not have doors but one of the non existing doors would in no way have anything to do with determining dog house/pancake coverage so they just look confused and say I don't know.)

A: None. (you can finish the joke and chuckle and walk away or continue with...) Because grass doesn't grow on footballs.

The beauty of jokes like these are that they make me laugh. I don't care if the other person gets it or not. In fact its funnier if they don't get it.

[Solaris]

I used to tell this one for the same reason;

Q: If your riding down the road on a four door motorcycle and one door falls off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? (This question is asked very quickly so that most people don't catch on to the fact that not only do motorcycles not have doors but one of the non existing doors would in no way have anything to do with determining dog house/pancake coverage so they just look confused and say I don't know.)

A: None. (you can finish the joke and chuckle and walk away or continue with...) Because grass doesn't grow on footballs.

The beauty of jokes like these are that they make me laugh. I don't care if the other person gets it or not. In fact its funnier if they don't get it.

Is it an African or a European dog house?

[deicruxified]

I used to tell this one for the same reason;

Q: If your riding down the road on a four door motorcycle and one door falls off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? (This question is asked very quickly so that most people don't catch on to the fact that not only do motorcycles not have doors but one of the non existing doors would in no way have anything to do with determining dog house/pancake coverage so they just look confused and say I don't know.)

A: None. (you can finish the joke and chuckle and walk away or continue with...) Because grass doesn't grow on footballs.

The beauty of jokes like these are that they make me laugh. I don't care if the other person gets it or not. In fact its funnier if they don't get it.
i do this often... lol

q: what is the flavor of a strawberry flavored ice cream?!?!?!

some wuss: mango?

-----------

q: if the big bad wolf blew off the 2 pigs house, how many are the three bears?

-----------

when i was hosting a game for a school event. guy picks letter (a) the right answer

me: are you sure that's your final answer?
guy: yes
me: *pats shoulder* i'm sorry... **(b) guys cheer**
guy: but *shouts and points at (b)* you are wrong!!! *grins*

[niffer]

boss: *points finger at me* i'll talk to you later


favourite

[Intrawebs]

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
To show the chicken that when the road is crossed at a more efficient angle
it would have saved more than 0.3 seconds travel time, JEEEEEEZZZZ??!?


I nearly lost myself on that one. BTW, first post to these forums. 33 year old INTJ (strong I, balanced NTJ) that is stuck in a "life cramp" (INTJ's version of writers cramp). Thanks for the laugh.

[GOD]

Why did the INTJ cross the road?

Because the S's were waiting for instructions and the map.
The P's were lost somewhere else.
The F's held back.. fearing that it could contribute to global warming.
And the E's..they were waiting for more people.*Lets have a group crossing*

[Laura_Palmer]

Why did the INTJ cross the road?

Because the S's were waiting for instructions and the map.
The P's were lost somewhere else.
The F's held back.. fearing that it could contribute to global warming.
And the E's..they were waiting for more people.*Lets have a group crossing*

Hahaha, I like!

My favorite joke:

What did Bill Gates' wife say on their wedding night?
Micro...soft

[mrswentworth]

this joke is edited by me:

A man, complaining of headaches, entered a hospital for diagnostic tests. A doctor examined the results for a brain scan and told the patient, "I have bad news and good news for you. The bad news is that you have a serious brain disease and will die without treatment. The good news is that this hospital has developed a new procedure for brain transplants and due to a car accident this morning two 'fresh' brains are available: one is from a taxi driver and the other is from an INTJ. The brain of the taxi driver costs $225,000, while that of the INTJ is only $29.95." Puzzled, the patient asked, "Why is the INTJ's brain was so much cheaper?" The doctor replied, "It's used."

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

the original can be found there.

Awesome hehe!:p

[Hdier]

why did the intkj crossed the road?

because it says green for pedestrians stupid idiot

ROFLOL. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from all these annoying INTJ's.

[deicruxified]

me: **gives 2 usd to niece as christmas gift**
nephew: why onyee 2 doyays... buy me pyaytayton 3
me: ah... okie... i'll buy you ps3 in one condition
nephew: ok what?
me: say LALALALALALALALALA
nephew: ok i just get 2 doyays

[BlackHawk]

Coach: Ok, 39 kids, so that makes . . .
Me: 4 teams of 7!
Coach: Ok *divides kids up* . . . .. . . Wait, why isn't this working?

[Sylvanus]

I played trivial pursuit with my wife the other day. I kept making "orange you glad I didn't say..." style jokes the whole time. She was about to kill me. The things I came up with were creatively obtuse (I wish I could remember them).

[mind_wander]

Why did the INTJ cross the road?

Because the S's were waiting for instructions and the map.
The P's were lost somewhere else.
The F's held back.. fearing that it could contribute to global warming.
And the E's..they were waiting for more people.*Lets have a group crossing*

lol, nice joke :)

[ElstonGunn]

I've never met anybody who understood my favorite joke on the first try (but to be fair, I don't meet many people).

Me: Giant polar bear.
Person: What?
Me: Eh, it broke the ice.
Person: .....Huh?
Me: It's big, so it broke the ice. And 'breaking the ice,' as in starting a conversation. Get it? It's a pun.
Person: Oh, okay. I have to go over there now.

[dandylion]

I've never met anybody who understood my favorite joke on the first try (but to be fair, I don't meet many people).

Me: Giant polar bear.
Person: What?
Me: Eh, it broke the ice.
Person: .....Huh?
Me: It's big, so it broke the ice. And 'breaking the ice,' as in starting a conversation. Get it? It's a pun.
Person: Oh, okay. I have to go over there now.

Good one! :laugh: I love puns.

[rwyatt365]

I've never met anybody who understood my favorite joke on the first try (but to be fair, I don't meet many people).

Me: Giant polar bear.
Person: What?
Me: Eh, it broke the ice.
Person: .....Huh?
Me: It's big, so it broke the ice. And 'breaking the ice,' as in starting a conversation. Get it? It's a pun.
Person: Oh, okay. I have to go over there now.
I'll have to steal that one! ;D

[mind_wander]

I've never met anybody who understood my favorite joke on the first try (but to be fair, I don't meet many people).

Me: Giant polar bear.
Person: What?
Me: Eh, it broke the ice.
Person: .....Huh?
Me: It's big, so it broke the ice. And 'breaking the ice,' as in starting a conversation. Get it? It's a pun.
Person: Oh, okay. I have to go over there now.

lol, interesting for the long explaination towards the end, not bad. Makes so much sense, if no one get it, from the beginning of the joke. Two thumbs up!

[thegnat]

I've never met anybody who understood my favorite joke on the first try (but to be fair, I don't meet many people).

Me: Giant polar bear.
Person: What?
Me: Eh, it broke the ice.
Person: .....Huh?
Me: It's big, so it broke the ice. And 'breaking the ice,' as in starting a conversation. Get it? It's a pun.
Person: Oh, okay. I have to go over there now.

That same polar bear melted in the water after it broke the ice.

Why?

Because it's polar! (water's polar, it's polar, like dissolves like, BINGO you've got dissolved polar bear!)

[blue tie]

Random person: Why did the INTJ cross the road!! :)
INTJ: ... [Ugh, here it comes... This is so insulting. I bet it's not even that good of a joke. Even if it is a good joke, what are the odds that this person is capable of delivering it properly... Probably 22.4%. Watch. He'll mess it up. I bet I could do a better job. Here it comes...]
Random person: [punchline]!!!!
INTJ: *feigns laughter, golf claps* Hah, yeah... Ughh... [Wow that was terrible, I knew it.]

[MetalWounds]

What's the difference between between an INTJ and an asshole?

The asshole actually has to try to be a pain in the ass.

[aude]

What's the difference between between an INTJ and an asshole?

The asshole actually has to try to be a pain in the ass.

lmao that was good

[BadMojo]

Knock knock
Who's there?
INTJ
INTJ who?
... This is so beneath me...

[HarleyQuinn]

Person A: Knock, Knock
Person B: Who's There?
Person A: INTJ
Person B: INTJ Who?
Person A: INTJ ready to give my presentation so quit talking!

Works well in school related events. I actually used this on a friend in class a few years back and the teacher reprimanded me.

[ssfanatic]

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
To show the chicken that when the road is crossed at a more efficient angle
it would have saved more than 0.3 seconds travel time, JEEEEEEZZZZ??!?



Lol, how ironic. I posted a thread on the INTP forum a while back about efficiency and this is what i talked about. Of coarse i was laughed at but i didnt want to post it here bec i knew it would be unanimous. ;D

[muguly]

two guys walk into a bar, which is kinda stupid considering the second guy should have seen it coming.

[ElstonGunn]

Did you hear about the INTJ man who hasn't spoken to his ESFP wife in years?

He doesn't want to interrupt her.


...Ah, that sounded like one of those jokes that would be enhanced by a rimshot. You know any joke that is improved when followed by a rimshot sucks.

[ssfanatic]

Did you hear about the INTJ man who hasn't spoken to his ESFP wife in years?

He doesn't want to interrupt her.


...Ah, that sounded like one of those jokes that would be enhanced by a rimshot. You know any joke that is improved when followed by a rimshot sucks.
No, it didnt make me laugh, but i found it amusing.

[iMiki]

boss: *looks out at the window... grey and gloomy sky plus lightning flashes* is it raining?
me: it should not rain
boss: the clouds are grey so i think it's gonna rain
me: it should not rain
boss: i'm asking you if it's raining ok?
me: regardless, i'd still like to say it should not rain.. positive thinking?
boss: whatever...

boss walks away and comes back after 20 minutes

boss: you told me a while a go it's not raining but it did rain! i forgot to bring my umbrella
intj: oh really? so it did rain... shucks
boss: i believed you... you said it should not rain! now i'm wet and it's your fault
intj: oh no... it's actually you're fault for being so stupid and gullible
boss: *points finger at me* i'll talk to you later


Ha Ha! Funny! :laugh:

[elsdfr]

I sometimes say "OTo view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. my pancreas" if I say stub my toe or hurt my elbow in front of someone. I think N's get it.

[deicruxified]

Coach: Ok, 39 kids, so that makes . . .
Me: 4 teams of 7!
Coach: Ok *divides kids up* . . . .. . . Wait, why isn't this working?
rlmaof hahaha

[Wapiti]

One of my favorite is from the movie "Catch me if you Can" that I like to tell at work when I'm in not so good of a mood:

Me: Knock Knock
Them: Who's there?
Me: Go F#$% yourself

I don't swear much so it gets a laugh now a days just when I say "Knock Knock" - lets people know what kind of mood I'm in too, relieves some tension.

[mind_wander]

One of my favorite is from the movie "Catch me if you Can" that I like to tell at work when I'm in not so good of a mood:

Me: Knock Knock
Them: Who's there?
Me: Go F#$% yourself

I don't swear much so it gets a laugh now a days just when I say "Knock Knock" - lets people know what kind of mood I'm in too, relieves some tension.

lol, thats funny; most INTJs think this way. Very straight forward, no complaints here.

[Allie]

This one I retained from childhood. Can't remember where it came from originally:

Three couples were having a meal together.

The first husband said to his wife: "Please pass me the honey, Honey."

The second husband said to his wife: "Please pass me the sugar, Sugar."

The third husband, paused, then said to his wife: "Please pass me the pork, Pig."

[Kristian]

OK, some jokes I made. The jokes might lose a bit of wit in the translation because of cultural differences between Americans and Europeans.


What’s the difference between a kindergarden teacher and a pedophile?
The teacher got the children from 8 to 4 – the pedophile got them in the basement.

How do multiply a Skoda’s value?
You execute a guy from the Middle East on the backseat. PS. They stink of garlic.

How do you secure your child’s economic wealth and give them memories for life?
You give them a weekend stay at Michael Jackson.

How do you get an old Jew to visit the place he was in concentration camp?
There were no concentration camps. Sieg heil!

[E148]

Yeah. I loved it too.

[paradanmellow]

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
Because he's GOD.

Why did the INTJ cross the road?
Because he's a big fan of KFC.

hahaha how subtle


my intj bud way back in highscool

intj: whacks seatmate's head with a notebook
guy: why did you do that?
intj: it wasn't me you stupid idiot
guy: i saw you!
intj: well if you saw me you should've evaded... stupid idiot *whacks notebook on seatmate's head again.

if I were witness to that I would stare in glee, thinking: watch and learn
the rest is evil, uh, you must be really needed if you didn’t get fired haha


this joke is edited by me:

A man, complaining of headaches, entered a hospital for diagnostic tests. A doctor examined the results for a brain scan and told the patient, "I have bad news and good news for you. The bad news is that you have a serious brain disease and will die without treatment. The good news is that this hospital has developed a new procedure for brain transplants and due to a car accident this morning two 'fresh' brains are available: one is from a taxi driver and the other is from an INTJ. The brain of the taxi driver costs $225,000, while that of the INTJ is only $29.95." Puzzled, the patient asked, "Why is the INTJ's brain was so much cheaper?" The doctor replied, "It's used."

hahaha so nice! so so nice


favourite

yes, definitely that’s the spice of it, the promise, the facial expression ahah


What's the difference between between an INTJ and an asshole?

The asshole actually has to try to be a pain in the ass.

how true, yet pardonable


two guys walk into a bar, which is kinda stupid considering the second guy should have seen it coming.

awesome! yup! :laugh:



say more!!!!

[SeaCzar]

OK, some jokes I made. The jokes might lose a bit of wit in the translation because of cultural differences between Americans and Europeans.

This reminds me of a joke I heard some time ago. I don't know how INTJ it is, but here goes.

European Heaven & Hell.

Heaven: The police are British, the cooks French, the mechanics German, the bankers Swiss and the lovers are Italian.

Hell: The police are German, the cooks British, the mechanics French, the bankers Italian and the lovers are Swiss.

[cda]

Q: How many INTJs does it take to turn on a light?

A: Zero, we'd just lift up the shade and save $0.3682746 in electricity.

EDIT: subtracted $1 from the amount.

[ssfanatic]

One sunny day two people were standing outside. One INTJ, the other ESFJ.

The ESFJ looked all around and said, "Look good sir! Is this day not the most brilliant and gorgeous thing you have ever envisioned! I feel as if i have been granted the gift of living in such a wonderful day. Good sir, look at how the trees flow with the breeze and the grass crackles under foot. How the sun licks away you gloom and the sky makes all problems appear so minuscule. And how the sea stares at me with pure love and compassion and the animals frolic, wishing for me to play with them. What do you think sir, is it not wonderful?..."

The INTJ stared in amazement and returned, "...umm, your manic behavior has just ruined my next ten minutes, in which i will be wondering why the hell you would ever say such a thing in public, what demonic spirit has possessed you to think that the sea has a sexual preference, and if your connotation of play with animals has any relation to bestiality. I am utterly disgusted."

The INTJ turned and walked away slowly, shaking his head the whole way, while the ESFJ stood in bewilderment. Once the INTJ was out of view, the ESFJ returned to his inspection of nature, therefore never even comprehending what the INTJ was attempting to convey.

[lordrrr]

One sunny day two people were standing outside. One INTJ, the other ESFJ.

The ESFJ looked all around and said, "Look good sir! Is this day not the most brilliant and gorgeous thing you have ever envisioned! I feel as if i have been granted the gift of living in such a wonderful day. Good sir, look at how the trees flow with the breeze and the grass crackles under foot. How the sun licks away you gloom and the sky makes all problems appear so minuscule. And how the sea stares at me with pure love and compassion and the animals frolic, wishing for me to play with them. What do you think sir, is it not wonderful?..."

The INTJ stared in amazement and returned, "...umm, your manic behavior has just ruined my next ten minutes, in which i will be wondering why the hell you would ever say such a thing in public, what demonic spirit has possessed you to think that the sea has a sexual preference, and if your connotation of play with animals has any relation to bestiality. I am utterly disgusted."

The INTJ turned and walked away slowly, shaking his head the whole way, while the ESFJ stood in bewilderment. Once the INTJ was out of view, the ESFJ returned to his inspection of nature, therefore never even comprehending what the INTJ was attempting to convey.


God I love being an INTJ.

[Haphazard]

Dunno how INTJ it is, but I have a favorite joke:

A rabbi and a priest are good friends and are playing chess. They talk for a while, when inevitably they come up to the matter of religious customs. The priest asks the rabbi, "Have you ever eaten ham before?'

The rabbi admits, yes, he had, even though it wasn't kosher and against his religion. Then the rabbi asks the priest, "Well, have you ever had sex before?"

The priest admits that he had, once, in college, when he was young and foolish. The rabbi pauses the game and smirks.

"It's a lot better than ham, isn't it?"

[Fishfighter]

Dunno how INTJ it is, but I have a favorite joke:

A rabbi and a priest are good friends and are playing chess. They talk for a while, when inevitably they come up to the matter of religious customs. The priest asks the rabbi, "Have you ever eaten ham before?'

The rabbi admits, yes, he had, even though it wasn't kosher and against his religion. Then the rabbi asks the priest, "Well, have you ever had sex before?"

The priest admits that he had, once, in college, when he was young and foolish. The rabbi pauses the game and smirks.

"It's a lot better than ham, isn't it?"

:laugh:

It's INTJ because it's clever and witty.